Chapter Forty-Two
ChapterForty-Two
Brandt
I’ve officially given up. I can’t compete with someone like Theo. I remember the way her mother glowed the minute he stepped into the room. I just can’t do it. I’ve really got to move on.
I know she’s woken up. I’ve heard so many times from Rhys. He’s been really irritating, the amount of times he’s hounded me to see her, or at least reach out to her. But I can’t. It’s fucking embarrassing enough that I sat by her side for a week and then Theo saunters in like he’s entitled to Elissa. I’ve fucked up a lot lately, I know that. I was the one who pushed her away, but I can’t shake this feeling. I’ve lost her. And I’ve lost a piece of myself, and I’m trying to move on.
Every thought of mine encompasses her. What she’s wearing, what she smells like, what she’s thinking about…if she’s thinking of me. Certainly she’s heard about me being by her bedside, so why hasn’t she called? Messaged? Anything? Easy.
She’s moved on.
And it fucking kills me.
I can’t pretend I didn’t do this to myself, but she could have reached out over these last two weeks. I’ve been suffering, been in agony, terrorizing myself about if or when she’ll call. But she hasn’t. Rhys said she’s just taking time to deal with everything and heal. Yeah, sure. I get that. But she still could have sent me a text, letting me know herself that she’s okay.
As I’m wallowing in my self-pity and destruction, my phone dings.
From: Black, Elissa
Subject: Return to Work
Good afternoon, everyone.
I’ve been officially cleared to return to work after my accident.
I want to thank my mother, Collette, for stepping in when I was incapacitated and unable to work. I would like to see everyone at the board meeting on Monday, as there is a lot for me to catch up on.
I am doing well and hope to see you all there.
Thank you,
Elissa Black
CEO
Black Wells Publishing and Press
Tightness restricts my chest as I read her words over and over. This is the closest I’ve gotten to any communication with her. A fucking work email. It may be petty, but I text my assistant and forward the email to him, asking him to confirm my attendance.
I spend the rest of my weekend in a drunken stupor, lazing around my apartment, nursing a hangover, and repeating that process. I need to drown myself in something else, other than this hollow feeling that’s suffocating me. I need to flush her out of my system, so when I see her on Monday, I don’t break. I don’t crumble. Or at least, she can’t see that I’m breaking.
···
Monday comes and I’m in no better shape. I contemplate skipping the meeting altogether. She won’t miss me, the company board won’t miss me. They haven’t for the last two months.
The end-of-April air is temperamental. It’s chilly in the morning and warm in the afternoon, which makes it a bitch for me to decide what to wear. My smooth, charcoal grey Armani suit is tailored to perfection as I slide it onto my body, the fabric hugging and sculpting my every muscle. My white button-down dress shirt underneath is a soft, light linen, cooling my burning, nervous body. I slip on a navy TAG Heuer Carrera and fasten it around my wrist, then shove my wallet and phone into my pants pocket. My fingers glide and tease my hair to perfection, and I stand gloating at the mirror.
I feel confident and ready to face Elissa.
That feeling quickly shatters as she walks into the conference room, looking more beautiful than ever. Her radiant cinnamon hair falls in loose curls down her back, and my fingers itch to lace my hand through her strands and wrap them around my wrist. She’s wearing a white skirt with a slit up the middle, and her black scoop neck tee fits snugly against her chest and highlights the swell of her breasts, teasing me and reminding me how they felt in my hands. My heart thumps wildly in my chest at the memory. Her long, lean legs have lost some of their tone, but look just as delicious as they did before the accident. My mouth salivates as this gorgeous woman clicks her heels around the table, making her way to the front of the room.
When she smiles at the room, it’s like everything melts away and it’s just us. Time stands still only for us. The beating of my heart pauses as our eyes connect, and I’m swallowed whole by her oceanic eyes. I’m tumbling and twirling in the undertow, her gaze drowning all my senses. My heart clambers to be with her, and it pounds like it’s going to leap out of my chest. All I want is to connect with her again. My cock strains against my zipper, pulsing to be near her. My lips ache to brush against her skin and feel the way she shivers when I touch her.
She breaks our eye contact, and my resolve shatters. I’m left a broken mess in the middle of the boardroom, and the glint in her eyes as she looks away gives off a vibe of mischief and…longing? I blink those thoughts away and convince myself I’m just imagining it. The rest of the meeting passes in a haze, because all I can do is stare at her beauty and wonder how the fuck it all went wrong.
“Projections show that stocks are up thirty percent since your recovery,” one of the analysts chatters.
“Collette decided we should focus on marketing this quarter…”
“The new division has been thriving under Selena’s watch and we think she should be promoted officially…”
All these bits and pieces of news have no bearing on my focus because I’m mesmerized by the enchanting woman in front of me, who looked so fragile two weeks ago but is now sitting in front of me, stronger than ever.
When the meeting comes to an end, everyone rushes up to Elissa to offer their congratulations on her speedy recovery. The board members are clasping her shoulder, offering hugs, and shaking her hand. I hover in the background, their neediness and obsession with flattering their boss grating on my nerves. My skin is buzzing as I wait for the chance to speak to her privately. I know I shouldn’t, but everything inside me burns to be near her. As the room clears, the tension multiplies tenfold; electricity charges the air.
It’s finally just the two of us left.
Neither of us says a word, but we miraculously gravitate toward each other, like magnets being drawn together, and finally we click.
“Hi,” she says in a breathless whisper. My heart stops.
“Glad you’re okay,” I manage to mumble. My heart starts up again and is ramming itself against my ribcage. I can feel a drop of sweat forming on my brow. It’s unbearably hot in here suddenly. It only blazes hotter when my eyes dart down and see her hand brush against the side of my hand and up, where her hand gently clasps my wrist, giving it a light squeeze and sending searing electricity jolting through my arm.
“Thanks for being there. My mother told me,” she says quietly. And I shatter.
My hands dive into her hair, pulling her mouth against mine, devouring her whole. My lips feast on hers and I’m instantly hard. Mint and coffee lace her breath and she’s all I taste. When I tip her head back, my tongue swipes at her lips, demanding entrance. She complies and moans as our tongues touch, and I almost come. The sound of her moan is so euphoric; it’s like the heavens have parted and angels are singing. It tastes like coming home.
My hand drops and presses her lower back into me as I grind my hardness into her stomach, showing her just how much I need her. Her hands grip the back of my neck, her nails biting into the skin as she kisses me harder. Our bodies press together, any harder and we’d become one. I feel her heart beating in her chest, and I notice the subtle pebbling of her nipples under the slightly padded bra she’s wearing. My tongue dives deeper into her mouth, exploring every inch, like it’s the last time I’m ever going to kiss her. And it probably will be.Then reality breaks the moment, clarity seeps in, and I break the kiss, taking a step back.
We stand there, our chests heaving rapidly. Her face is flushed, her hair is a tangled mess, and a pang of regret burrows into my heart for stopping this. Her cheeks burn darker as we stand there, awkwardly gawking at one another in this heated standoff.
Elissa clears her throat, running her fingers through her hair.
“We should talk about this…somewhere where there aren’t glass walls,” she mutters, her eyes sliding to look outside the glassed-in conference room, where the board members are standing and staring, wide-eyed and slack jawed. When we both turn to face them, they all jump out of their skins and bump into one another as they try to clear the area as quickly as possible. “Let’s go to my office. We need to talk.” So I follow her, letting her lead the way to her office.
She shuts the door behind her and leans against the door. One of her legs kicks out and her arms fold behind her lower back. Her face is thoughtful, her eyes mist over, and she looks fragile once again. She opens her mouth to say something, but I stop her.
“No, let me. I’m sorry. That was inappropriate and it shouldn’t have happened.” Her face falls, her lower lip trembling as her eyes search mine for the truth.
“Oh,” she breathes. It breaks my heart, but I have to be strong. For both of us, because there’s this unnatural chemical reaction that happens between us, making us both lose all rationale. “I just…”
“Just what?” My voice breaks.
“I just thought you changed your mind. That the kiss meant what I thought it did.” Her words muddle my thoughts.
“What do you mean?” Her teeth sink into her lip as she debates what she’s trying to say. Her eyes leave mine and she glances at her feet, shuffling a bit. She looks like a lost little girl.
“I just thought the kiss meant you loved me too.”
Loved. Her. Too.
Too.
Is this her way of saying she loves me? No, it can’t be.
I must have been silent too long because something inside her snaps. Suddenly she’s standing tall and her limbs are stiff like they’re bracing for impact. “I love you, Brandt. There it is. Fuck, why is that so hard to say?” She shakes her head and looks away, burying her head in her hands. “I love you. I love you. I love you. Fuck, it’s not easy to fucking say. But there it is.” Her eyes snap to mine and they’re full of love, vulnerability, and hesitation. Like she’s expecting to be shut down. Like I’m going to turn her away. She said she loves you, you idiot.
I snap out of my dreamlike state and rush toward her. I press her up against the door, my hand caressing her thigh and hooking it around my waist. My hard length presses into the apex of her thighs as my mouth crashes down against hers. My lips greedily take whatever she’s offering as I drown in her sweetness. I steal every breath she breathes, revitalizing myself. My tongue sweeps against her lips and parts them, searching for her tongue. They tangle together in a fury of heated passion. My cock throbs against my pants, begging to be so fucking deep inside her. I need to feel her.
“Brandt,” she moans. I swallow my name as it rolls off her lips, taking pleasure in how it sounds flowing from her mouth.
“I fucking love you too.”