Chapter 41 Claeg
I led Anastasius into the cave—our cave—chest heaving, my body's desires heightened. The Ruptor craved the prince, craved to feed on his light. I wanted more than just his body: the Ruptor wanted to claim his soul. All of him. Never before had I craved someone like I craved Anastasius. The remnants of the fire Anastasius had made were scattered across the floor, staining the rock with soot. I swallowed, thinking about that night. Being with him felt natural, right. If Anastasius pushed, I wasn't sure I could resist him, but I needed to, for my clan... My restraint was stretched far too thin. He was my insatiable need I had indulged too much in.
Our union had been passionate and full of fervor, but now my heart was slowly returning to its steady rhythm despite my cock’s longing. The memory of exploring his mouth with my tongue was burned into my memory. He tasted exactly as he smelled—spice and summer.
"Eleos." The sound of that name from him made my hair stand on end. I didn't deserve it. I was the opposite of merciful. When I returned with the De Vita secrets… the betrayal would cut deeply if I didn’t stop this now.
“I’ve hunted the weak most of my life. Helped exterminate them, Stas. Yet you call me merciful. Why?” A lump formed in my throat when the question emerged, and I flipped around to face him, a frightful anger subsiding my lingering lust. The prince held my eye for a moment. He swallowed, obviously debating whether to trust me with something.
“You remember the De Vita draconis whose Circle you completed?” he asked softly. I wanted to protest. I hadn’t completed her Circle. She was already dying when I found her, but perhaps that wasn’t the point. So, I nodded slowly, my brows pinching. “She wanted to die. She had been suffering for a long time, but De Vita never let their dead die. The plan was for me to release her from her suffering. But when the time came, I was too late. Instead you were there at her side as she breathed her last breath. I failed her.” His eyes became misty, and a stray tear fell down his cheek. I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb and swore internally. This was supposed to push us apart, not bring us together. “I will never forgive myself for that.”
My heart ached for the prince, but I understood. The prince had more Circulus in him than he would like to admit. Had he Selected me because he saw a piece of himself in me? I ground my teeth. He was making this so hard. Why couldn’t he be cruel like his father? That would make weakening De Vita easier. I could steal his magic and leave. But every day, the thought of leaving him was becoming harder to fathom. I hated myself for allowing my weakness to continue.
We didn't speak anymore after that. Eventually, we fell asleep in each other's arms,exhausted from the dancing and sex.
"Will you get in trouble for our coupling last night, my Prince?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair. He winced, and that was enough to answer my question.
"I can handle it," he replied. At some point in the night we had switched positions, so now Anastasius was in my arms. We lounged on the cave floor, my eyes unable to resist admiring his lithe body. Even the scars were beautiful in a strange way. The way we had fit together last night, the way he had moaned his name for me, was the greatest pleasure I had ever experienced. I hadn't known sex could be so . . . sweet. With Sivert, things had always been rough, and I liked that, but what I did to Anastasius made my toes curl just recalling it. Only the thoughts of my upcoming betrayal prevented my cock from swelling and making my desire known to the prince in my arms.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone how you cried my name as your body shuddered and expelled your pleasure inside me. That part of you is only mine," I assured him, my heart racing as I spoke, because I felt the truth of the proclamation. Whatever we had between us may only be temporary, but what I felt was real. I would treasure it until the moment the Circulus completed my Circle . . . which would likely be shortly after my duty compelled me to return.
Anastasius turned to face me, his cheeks flaming red, but he wasn’t able to hide the beginnings of a smile from me. In this position, our lips were a breath apart. There was a jagged edge to his lower lip where he tended to bite it. I wanted to run my tongue along it and memorize the unique shape. My cock swelled at his proximity. He was a temptation, a distraction. I needed to put space between us before I caved. With my heart aching, I pulled back. “I imagine your presence has been missed. We should return.” Anastasius' eyes darted between mine, seeing my longing to remain but also my resolve to return. After a moment, he nodded, disappointment flashing in his eyes.