Chapter 59 Claeg
“Relax, Claeg. Today, you are Chosen. Do not concern yourself with these worries.” Ercan read my thoughts. I gave him a forced smile. He clucked his tongue and set his brushes down. In the past, Sivert would have inked my flesh for the ceremony, but today he was attending to Anastasius. Reluctantly, on both sides. I only agreed since Rohit accompanied him. The tension had been palpable when Thana ordered him to do it. Again, he’d nearly refused. The Janardan was losing her hold on power here—a challenge would come. Thana’s rule was coming to an end. Soon.
My heart raced at the thought of Clotho leading the Circulus with the power of the witch. My sister could be unstoppable. Ruthless, just like I knew her to be. My brow furrowed. I couldn't help but worry.
“Give them time. It took you many moon turns to accept this change. It hasn’t even been one for them. They need to see that together we are stronger. And they will,” my father insisted, his bright eyes filled with confidence I didn’t feel. I sighed, placing my head in my hands. The fear that there wasn’t much time ebbed at me. Anastasius wanted to return to De Vita and solidify himself as the next ruler, but what about the tension here? What would happen when Clotho had had enough—when she decided she was ready to take on the role as Janardan?
“I know you are right, but I’m . . . I’m afraid, Father,” I admitted. My thoughts went to my mother and the day her Circle was completed. Ercan had begged me for mercy, for his lover’s life, and I had refused him. I had buried Tamela without remorse. And I had done it gladly, because that was the way of the clan. We hadn't changed for Tamela, the heir to Circulus, so why would they for me? Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. Clotho had always been so strong. Stronger than me. With the witch she had a new Ruptor. She didn’t need me or Thana anymore. My heart pounded.
Ercan rested a hand on my shoulder, making my guilt flare. It didn’t make sense. He should hate me, yet he had helped my lover and only shown me kindness. Forgiveness. I didn’t deserve it. I had taken his mate, and I knew without a doubt that if anyone took Anastasius from me, I would kill them. There would be no Eleos for them. Only Claeg. My eyes fell closed, and I took a breath.
“Feeling fear is another sign that what you're doing is the right thing. It shows that what you are fighting for is right. Do not be afraid of fear, Claeg. Fear the lack of feeling at all. Without that there is no guidance towards what is right.” Ercan . . . my father looked at me with love in his eyes, his words hitting a spot deep within me.
I swallowed thickly. “Anastasius couldn’t feel, yet look at him.”
He gave me a small smile. “Even Anastasius has made mistakes, son. Everyone does. It’s how we grow. If we didn’t make mistakes, how would we know what is good and worthy of pursuing?”
I nodded. Ercan was right. Anastasius wasn’t perfect and that was okay. He picked up his brush and resumed his task of inking my skin. “You both have much to learn, my son. You will learn them together. Together, you are stronger. Never forget that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this years ago? The Ruptor—so many lives could have been protected!” I hissed, angrier with myself than with my father. He heaved a sigh but didn’t stop painting my skin with entwined Circles and written words of life—as was De Vita tradition. I couldn’t read them, but I understood their significance.
“We did. You and Clotho wouldn’t hear it. You weren’t ready.” His answer made me flinch. “Do not be angry with yourself. Everyone has a path. It is up to us to grow as we walk along it. Now forget these woes and enjoy your day. Today, you are Chosen. Today, you unite the clans. Today, you grow.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“Thank you,” I mumbled as he finished inking my flesh. My heart still felt heavy, but it was a little lighter knowing that my father had forgiven my past mistakes. I wasn’t sure if I would ever forgive myself, but I would try. For Anastasius. For De Vita and Circulus. For myself.