Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
Ben’s hand moves across the napkin. Even as the server brings our food, setting it on the table, Ben just sighs, flips over the napkin and scribbles away. His hand moves quickly, forming lines and curves until an image of a set of horns surrounded by a broken halo appears.
I had no idea he knew how to draw. It’s beautiful. Simple, but well done.
He sits up straight, glancing up at me, before turning the napkin toward me.
“My guy will make it better, but what do you think? I mean it’s just an idea.” He shrugs.
“It’s perfect.” My voice is full of emotions I can’t name.
Sliding my plate in front of me, he grabs a fry off his own.
“You are a good girl trying to be bad. Might as well have the mark to show it.” He smirks.
I wish the way he teased me didn’t make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before. It’s like he doesn’t care if his words cut me, because he assumes I can take it. With him I can. I know he is just playing around, teasing me in a way no one else ever has.
He doesn’t see me as fragile, even after everything he has witnessed. It’s like seeing me freak out or watching Charles put his hands on me didn’t affect how he sees me. Ben doesn’t let the things I’ve been through warp how he views me.
I wish I could do the same. I wish I didn’t see myself as weak and pathetic. I desperately want to be the girl Ben sees me as. Tough. Bitchy. Mean.
“Eat,” he says, lifting his own burger to his mouth.
“My mother would have a stroke if she saw me eating a burger this big.”
“Why?” he asks before taking a bite. A sound like those he makes when his cock is in my mouth comes out. Never thought I’d be jealous of a burger. My pussy clenches, wishing it was me making him make those sounds again.
“It’s a lot of calories.”
“So, she is one of those mothers.” He shakes his head, wiping at the corner of his mouth, where a bit of sauce sits. “Trust me. You could stand to gain a few pounds. I wish more girls would embrace being curvy.”
“Says the man with zero body fat.” I laugh, taking a bite of the burger in front of me.
“I wish I was thicker.” He smiles. “I got called a twig my whole life.”
Biting into the burger my mouth is full of one of the best tasting things I’ve ever had. The mixture of the juicy meat, toasted bun, melted cheese and just a tiny bit of sauce has my tongue exploding with flavor.
I rarely eat burgers. My mother thought burgers were too messy for proper young ladies to eat. I grew up on fine dining, using forks and spoons, never eating with my hands. I’ve been missing out.
“Wow. This is really good.”
“Isn’t it?” He grins. “Happy you have more to eat, huh?”
“Yes.” I laugh. “Though I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish the whole thing. Which would be such a waste.”
“Just enjoy as much as you can. I promise to bring you back here again.”
I smile at the idea, even if deep down I doubt he means it. The idea he is thinking about doing something in the future with me gives me hope that whatever is going on between us has a longer shelf life than his other hook ups.
We eat in silence for a few minutes. He glances at his phone a few times. I try not to read too much into it. He made plans with me. I don’t think he would ditch me now that I agreed to get a tattoo and get drunk with him.
I eat over half of my burger and most of my fries. Stealing sips of the strawberry shake between bites, before giving up. I’m fuller than I’ve ever been in my whole life.
Sitting back, I watch as Ben devours his burger, slowly, like he is savoring every bite. Right now, he doesn’t look like the sexy bad boy the media paints him as. He is just some cute guy, enjoying his food and my company.
Sighing, he picks up his phone.
“Hey,” he says into it, annoyance causing his brows to scrunch.
“Fine, but can we make it Sunday? I think I have plans tomorrow.” His eyes focus on me, and I glance down on the napkin with my future tattoo on it.
“Oh well, fuck me for having a life, I guess. You all get to blow me off for yours, but the minute I have something going on…” He rolls his eyes.
“Okay, fine. I get it. I’m the asshole so I’ll just adjust my plans to fit your life.
No need to be so fucking dramatic, Aaron.
” He shakes his head. “That’s a little rich coming from you.
Jesus. Fuck. Fine. I will meet you for lunch tomorrow.
Is Stacy coming?” Pausing again, his eyes roll.
“I’ll send her a fucking fruit basket, but can’t it just be us this one fucking time?
” Sighing in defeat, his shoulders slump.
“Okay. Okay. God. I’m not heartless. See you tomorrow. ”
He drops his phone to the table, groaning as he pushes his palms into his eyes.
“Trouble with the misses?” I ask. His hands drop, revealing his eyes and a small smile on his face. “He sounds lovely.”
“Just for that, you’re coming to lunch with me tomorrow.”
“No. I’m going to be hungover, aren’t I?”
“You’ll be fine. I’ll teach you all my tricks.” He grins. “Please, Prue? Just come with me.”
“Maybe.”
“I can work with maybe.”
The server comes by a moment later, setting the bill on the table. Ben throws down his card before picking up another fry.
“Do you bring all your girls here?”
“No. I like this place too much.” He leans back, staring at me. “But since you won’t let me fuck you, I figured it was safe to bring you.” He smirks.
“So, if I asked you to fuck me in the bathroom right now, you’d say no?”
“No. I like this place a lot, but I want to fuck you more.”
“Why?”
“Like I told that prick earlier. I like a challenge.”
The server passes by, and Ben holds out the bill to him.
“Thank you for that,” I say softly, looking at the table.
“Don’t thank me for being a decent person. I know the bar is low, but I hope it’s not that low.”
My stomach tenses. I’m still not happy with the fact he saw me in the situation. It makes me feel too vulnerable and exposed. Part of me wishes I knew more about him. That I could see him in the same kind of state too.
He’s seen me at a low, and in turn I’d see him in one of his own.
“You said you were abused. By whom? Your dad?” I peek up at him. Hoping whatever confession comes out of him will even the playing field.
He tenses for a moment. His eyes drift to stare at something behind me. I regret asking the question now.
The check is dropped on the table, and Ben reaches for it, signing it and adding a tip.
“Sorry,” I whisper.
“I’m afraid the ship has sailed on that secret,” he says, glancing up at me.
“But no, it wasn’t my dad. My father was a good man.
I think if he knew what was happening to me, he would’ve killed the person responsible, but I never told a soul about it.
” Slipping his card into his wallet. “Even mentioning it to you was a once in a lifetime confession. One I would appreciate you forgetting.”
I nod.
“Now, let’s go get you a tattoo.” He smiles, as if the conversation never happened at all.
We stand inside a tattoo parlor. His guy, Greg, gives us paperwork to sign, while Ben hands him the drawing he made.
“I’m sure you can make it better,” Ben says.
“Where does she want it?”
Ben glances over at me, raising his eyebrow.
“Oh. I don’t know.” I glance down at my body. “My ankle I guess.”
“No. That’s a very boney area. I don’t know how you’re going to handle the feeling. That is not the best place to start,” Ben says.
“I can handle a little pain.” I roll my eyes. “I want it on my ankle.”
Ben looks over to Greg, but Greg just shrugs.
“If that’s where she wants it, that’s where I’ll put it.”
“Fine.” Ben shakes his head. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Remove your shoes and socks,” Greg says. “I’ll go set everything up. Have you decided what you’re getting?”
Ben looks at me. I shrug.
“Still deciding,” Ben says.
Ben stands as I sit on the bench, removing my shoes.
“What side should I get it on?”
“Whatever side you want.” He shrugs. “You should be more concerned about what you are going to have me get.”
“A dick. I’m having you get a nice giant penis.”
“Okay. Where?”
“Face.”
“No. Try again.”
“You’d get a dick if I told you to?” I ask, sliding off my socks.
“Sure, but I draw the line at a face tattoo.”
I look at him. He is insane. He doesn’t care what I pick for him. I’m pretty sure he would get anything I tell him to get without a single complaint.
“Do you even have space for another tattoo?”
“Probably not on the arms, but maybe on my back or legs.”
“And you really don’t care what I make you get?”
“Not at all.” He grins.
“Okay. I won’t make it a dick, but you don’t get to know what it is until it’s done.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“You are so bossy.” He smiles. I shoot him a look. “I said bossy, not the other b-word.”
“Only because we are in company,” I shoot back, walking over to where Greg sits, setting up. “Do you have any paper? I need to draw something for him to get tattooed.”
Greg glances at Ben. He waits until Ben nods before passing me a piece of paper and pen.
“Here you go. Now sit here. I need to clean the area and place the stencil.”
I sit on the bench, holding out my left leg toward him. He grips it, spraying it with some stuff, while I look at the blank piece of paper.
Too many ideas are swimming around my mind. Part of me wants to draw a butterfly just to be a bitch. Or maybe a heart with some random girl’s name in it just to ruin his life. But once I put the pen to paper all I manage to draw is a set of devil horns attached to a broken heart.
If he is giving me a broken halo, I think a broken heart is fitting for him. I fold the paper in half, so Ben can’t see it. Glancing down, I watch Greg place the stencil on my ankle.
“Is that good?”
Ben looks over his shoulder. I have no idea if it looks right or not. When Ben’s eyes meet mine, I stare back, trying to gauge what he thinks of the placement. He nods to me.