41. Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-One
Viridian
I can’t feel her.
I can’t feel her .
I try to reach out again, but there’s nothing there. No one to reach out to. There’s no bond.
The doors to my mind have closed.
And she’s not there.
My wife, my mate, isn’t there.
“Damn you!” I cry, slamming my palm to the stone floor. Cryssa’s body is limp in my lap, but I can’t bring myself to let her go. “ Damn your curse!”
Damn it all. Damn my father. Damn the gods who sat by and let this happen.
How could I have let this happen? I told her that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
I failed.
I couldn’t—I didn’t—protect her.
I lean my head back, my face pointed to the ceiling. Heaviness sets into my chest. The weight of her absence in my mind is unbearable.
She can’t be gone.
She can’t be.
Touching my forehead to hers, I cradle her head and rock back and forth. Her hand falls from mine, but I snatch it up again. I clutch her hand tightly, weaving my fingers with hers in desperation. As if the moment I let her go, she’ll vanish before my eyes.
She’s not here.
She’s not even in this realm. Not anymore.
My muscles tense. Grief meets rage, the two thrashing violently inside me. Electricity pulses in and around me, surrounding us in a blue shimmer. I want to throw something, anything. If I could kill Cryssa’s murderers again, and again, and again, I would. But I can’t. So, I open my mouth and scream. I scream the way she did when I locked her chamber door. I scream until my voice runs ragged. Until my throat feels raw.
It’s not enough .
Killing the men responsible for her death isn’t enough.
None of it will ever be enough to quell the wrath swirling inside me.
I shouldn’t have let her come here , I think, sweeping my eyes over the throne room. The grim sight of the carnage I caused is the only thing that meets me, and I turn away. I close my eyes, pressing them shut.
I’d known right from the start how this would end. The moment she insisted we go to the throne room, I’d known right away where this would lead.
How could I have been so foolish?
She would have been so angry with me if I’d stopped her. If I didn’t let her come here. If I’d picked her up, carried her over my shoulder, and left this place. She’d have been kicking and screaming, damning me to hell for getting in her way. Maybe she would have even come to hate me again.
But she would have been safe.
She would have been alive.
That would have been the only thing that mattered. That she walked away with air in her lungs.
Not iron in her chest.
My shoulders shake. That blast of energy when the arrow sank into her heart instead of mine…
Tears flow down my face, and I do nothing to stop them. I don’t need to go beyond High Keep’s walls to know she did it. To know she broke the curse poisoning the land.
She did it .
She saved us all.
But at what cost?
“Why?” I shout, though the walls can’t hear me. “Why her?”
Why her, and not me?
It was my father’s curse. It should have been me who paid the price. Not her.
None of this was hers to bear.
Gritting my teeth, I pull her to my chest and wrap my arms around her. Closing my eyes again, I touch my chin to the top of her head.
When I do, the air around me goes cold and utterly still.
I don’t have it in me to be wary. If there are more humans here to kill me, then I won’t stop them. I won’t fight.
Taking a breath, I open my eyes.
Silence meets my ears. No sounds of movement in the halls. Not even the familiar sensation of air moving through the room. It’s as if time has frozen still.
A warm glow has me squinting my eyes. Then, a dark shadow.
When the glow subsides, there are two figures standing before me.
Closest to me, is a feminine figure with rich brown skin and coppery hair that hangs in ringlets framing her face. Her eyes seem bottomless—only pools of warmth and light.
Beside her, is a masculine one. Whereas the female’s eyes are endless light, the male’s are endless shadows. He wears a long, black cloak that seems as if it’s made from darkness itself. It moves like sand, the ebony grains shifting over themselves. His hood hangs down, draping his shoulders, shrouding inky black hair and a pale, gray-toned complexion beneath it.
Instantly, I know who they are. Their names linger on my tongue.
“Theelia,” I say to the female. Then, I shift my gaze to the male. “Nemos.”
The Goddess of Fate. And the God of Death.
I should be angry. After all, it was Theelia who blessed us. Theelia who marked Cryssa for death.
But there is no fury in my heart.
“Because fate willed it,” Theelia says. Her voice is smooth and airy. As if her words are spun from the very light shining inside her.
“What?” I cock my head, confused.
“You asked us why it had to be her.” Theelia’s calm demeanor does not shift. “And the answer is because fate willed it.”
I furrow my brow. I want to curse, to demand why fate had to pick her, of all the people in the kingdom. Hell, of all the people in the realm. But I don’t.
“Why appear before me?” I ask, dropping my gaze. My time alone with Cryssa is dwindling. My time to grieve. To stay here, with her, before I say my final farewell.
Theelia looks to Nemos, as if for permission. The god dips his head .
“There is a way to save her,” Theelia begins slowly, eyes downcast. “Only you can return her to this world.”
“But tread carefully,” Nemos warns, a knowing edge to his voice. “Doing so will bind your lives. If one of you should fall, so will the other.”
“Tell me how,” I say, without hesitation. There is nothing I wouldn’t do, nothing I wouldn’t give, to see Cryssa’s eyes open one more time. To hear my name on her lips. To feel her heart beating beneath my palm.
Theelia dips her head and looks to Nemos.
“There is still time to pull her back into this world, before her soul reaches my domain,” Nemos tells me. “Using your mate bond, you can reach her.”
“How?” I ask. Despair gives my tone a hard edge. “The bond is gone.” The cold emptiness that’s taken its place is a harsh reminder that the once unwavering connection between Cryssa and I is no longer there.
“No,” Theelia cuts in, her expression open. “It is not gone. Not yet.”
Furrowing my brow, I can only cock my head.
“You cannot feel the bond because your mate is no longer of this world,” Nemos begins. Those dark eyes never once flicker or show any hint of emotion. Neither does his voice. “However, if you were to follow her into the next realm, you would be able to access it.”
“I have to die?” My mind struggles to make sense of this. “How am I to save my mate if I, too, am dead?”
“You do not have to die,” Nemos corrects me. “Merely, your soul must be separate from your body. That, I can assist you with.”
I press my lips into a fine line.
When I don’t speak, the God of Death continues.
“I can temporarily withdraw your soul from your body. But you will not have much time, for there is only so long your physical form will last without your soul.”
If I don’t return to my body before it’s too late, I will die. And so will Cryssa, for a second time.
“Why tell me any of this?” I ask, suspicions rising. “What could the gods have to gain?”
Nemos turns to Theelia.
“There is much more for the two of you to do in this realm,” Theelia tells me, a calculated look crossing her expression. “It is not her time. Nor is it yours.”
I fall silent for a moment.
“All right,” I tell them at last. “I’ll do it.”
Nemos doesn’t hesitate. “You must make haste. Once your mate falls into my embrace, there is no returning.”
“Then I won’t waste another moment.” A newfound purpose surges through me, adrenaline coursing through my veins.
I have to save her. I have to bring her back.
Back to this world.
Back to me.
Nemos only bows his head and closes his eyes. To his side, Theelia watches.
A tingling sensation spreads across my skin, not sparing a single part of my body. Dizziness clouds my vision and dulls my senses, but it’s only for a moment.
Then, I’m floating.
Looking down, I see myself—now slumped on the floor, beside Cryssa’s body.
Nemos flicks his eyes up, directly at me. “Go now, little king.”
I turn away, scanning my surroundings. I’m still in the throne room. Stone walls still surround me, my father’s splintered bronze throne still displayed in the room’s center. But now, I can see so much more, beyond the throne room.
The stone walls surrounding me are opaque, merely a near-invisible barrier between me and the never-ending darkness. And, just as Nemos promised, I feel the bond again. Relief surges through my chest.
I feel her .
She’s here, somewhere. Though, the connection between our souls is faint.
Even now, my time to save her grows short. Our bond becomes even weaker the longer I wait. I raise my hands and kick my feet, attempting to move forward. To my surprise and relief, I do.
I surge forward, this time simply on command—no movements required.
As I do, I see small, glowing orbs sprinkling the darkness. I approach one, my eyes wide.
These are souls .
The souls of the dead, moving toward the great unknown as if they’re being drawn there by an unseen force.
Urgency powers my movements, and I become more frantic with each new soul I approach.
I pass many souls.
Yet, none of them are my mate.
None of them are Cryssa.
I feel as though I am losing her all over again, the pain and agony of her absence in my mind like a wound torn anew. This is my one opportunity to bring her back. My one opportunity to save her.
To return her to my arms.
“Cryssa!” I cry out. My throat tightens, making my voice hoarse. “Cryssa! If you can hear me, Little Fawn, say something!” I snap my head back and forth, searching for a sign. Anything that shows she heard me.
But I am only greeted by silence.
It’s as if I am shouting in a sea of nothingness, my voice swallowed by the dark.
“Cryssa Thurdred Pelleveron Avanos,” I yell, my voice breaking. “Answer me!”
“Viridian?”
I briefly close my eyes, tilting my head back. Comfort washes over me in waves, knowing she heard me. Knowing that she hasn’t drifted beyond my reach. “Cryssa! ”
“Viridian! I’m here!”
“I’m coming, Little Fawn,” I promise her, moving toward her voice. I urge myself to go faster, and I do, flying through the nothingness like a falling star.
Then I see her.
And she’s as beautiful as the moment I first saw her, that night in Slyfell.
Only now, she shines like the sun, emitting magnificent, golden rays.
Her eyes go wide when she sees me, mouth twisted with happy sobs. Then we’re diving toward each other as fast as we can, our arms outstretched, two burning embers set to collide.
We crash into each other, swirling around each other like the eye of a storm. My arms wrap around her the moment she meets my chest, and she grips fistfuls of my shirt, as if she needs my closeness more than she needs anything in the entire universe.
Taking her face between both of my hands, I kiss her. Hard. She kisses me in return, her arms draped around my neck, pulling me closer.
“Viridian, how—”
“There’s no time. I’ll explain everything once we return.”
She scrunches her brows together, as if she can’t wrap her mind around how any of this is possible.
I take her hand, focusing my mind. Grounding myself, I find what I’m searching for: the tether that ties my soul to my body .
Gripping Cryssa tight, tighter than I ever have before, I pull her to my chest and circle my arms around her waist. Then, I dive, praying that we still have time. That out there, my heart still beats.
That I’m not too late.
The throne room comes back into sight as we approach.
Nemos nods to me when we pass through the ceiling, as if to say, “Well done.” Theelia bows her head, a warm smile taking shape on her face.
Still clinging to Cryssa, I don’t stop until I crash into both of our bodies.