Chapter 21
UNINVITED FLASHBACK
SHARI
Shit, my phone is dead. Why is my phone dead? I put it on charge last night. I follow the cable down to the socket and notice that it's come loose. Ugh, I must have dislodged it when I vacuumed yesterday. Damnit!
I don't have time to charge it now so I'll have to do it in the car. Hopefully, Brad is up and available, I completely forgot that I agreed to meet Elle for a Body Pump class this morning!
As we pull on to Brad's street, I'm flooded with déjà vu. Last time I turned up early, he had a bitchy one-night stand at his house. That won't be the case now he's dating Larissa, but the uninvited flashback still hits my sternum like an asteroid.
When I'm still several houses away, I see Brad's front door open, and he steps out with Larissa to walk her to her car.
The visual sucker punch has me pulling over to the curb right where I am.
I don't know why this is such a shock to me, he's dating her, for fuck's sake.
Of course, they'd have a...sleepover at some point.
I watch him pin her against her car door for a sensual kiss goodbye with my heart in my stomach.
Even after she drives off – thankfully in the opposite direction so she doesn't see me – I can't move.
It's like I'm cemented in place and the world is just carrying on around me.
I'm not entirely sure how long I sit there in my stupor, but Lizzie's angry shouting drags me out of the fog.
“Da-dee how! Da-dee!”
“I’m sorry, baby. I know you know we're near daddy's house and you just want to see him already. Ok we're going now, we're going.”
As I'm unbuckling Lizzie from her seat in his driveway, Brad's voice floats to me from behind. “Shari? Is everything ok? I thought you weren't bringing her over til ten?”
Taking a deep breath, I force a smile as I turn around with our daughter. “Morning! Sorry, I forgot I agreed to a Body Pump class with Elle this morning, and I must have accidentally dislodged my charger yesterday because my phone is completely dead. Are you ok to have her early?”
“Of course. Morning little one,” he coos to our girl, and then presses a chaste kiss to my cheek. It makes me feel a little dirty knowing he just had those lips on Larissa. Oh god, maybe all over her.
I can't shake the thought as I absently follow him into the house and sit in my usual spot on the sofa.
My brain helpfully provides me with a new set of horrifying questions.
What if they had sex right here, in my spot?
Where else might they have banged? Can I ever be in this house again without wanting to scrub the skin off my body?
I'm still eyeing the sofa with distrust as I shift to perch on the very edge of the cushion, when Brad's voice breaks into my thoughts. “Blaze, are you ok? You seem a bit...off.”
“Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine. Hey, can I borrow your phone to call Elle? Since mine is still charging in the car, I don't even know if she might have texted to check I'm still coming or anything.”
“Yeah, of course,” he hands his mobile over. I don't even need him to unlock it because I know his passcode is Lizzie's birthday.
I dial Elle's number to let her know what's happened, and she immediately answers to say she’s been trying to get hold of me because two of the kids have come down with a stomach bug, so she can't make it after all.
When we hang up, I can see Brad has a new message notification from Larissa, but I force myself not to invade his privacy – even though I desperately want to – and hand his phone back to him.
“Well, it looks like we invaded you early for nothing! Edie and Charlie are sick, so no gym today.”
“You're not still going?”
“No, it's Elle's gym, I'm not actually a member, but they have ‘Sidekick Sunday’ where members can bring a friend for a fiver.”
“That’s pretty cool. Shame you can't still go, though.”
“You trying to get rid of me, Brad?” I tease.
“Not at all! In fact, since you now have a free morning, would you like to join us for breakfast as usual?” He's smiling, but it doesn't seem like his usual grin.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it and it's just my perception that's changed.
I just feel like I can't read him the way I usually do, and that makes me. ..sad.
He must see the hesitation in my eyes because he's quick to add, “You know what, let's go out for breakfast. We haven't done that in ages.”
Grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door, he doesn't exactly give me much choice, and before long we're seated in a booth at the local cafe we used to frequent.
The combined aroma of bacon grease, bread, and honey assaults my nose, and I love that at least the smell of the place hasn’t changed, even if our circumstances have.
“Hey Brad, hey Shari! Haven't seen you in here for ages!” Rosie beams. She's worked here for years and knows every regular by name and their usual order. “And little Lizzie! You're getting so big and beautiful!” she gushes, and Lizzie agrees.
“Ya! Big! Booful!” Her chubby little finger points to her chest and her brow is furrowed in her most serious expression, causing all three of us to laugh at her cuteness.
“Bless her, I could eat her up! Are you all having your usual? Or does Miss Lizzie want to revisit the menu now she's bigger?”
“Shari and I will have our usual,” Brad checks for a nod from me, “but Lizzie will have the kid's waffle with berries and cream, please, Rosie.”
Once Rosie drops off our coffees, I can't help but ask, “So, how are things going with Larissa? You guys had another date last night, right?” I watch his face for any hints of satisfaction as he replies because I'm apparently a total masochist.
“Yeah, we did,” he clears his throat and some unnameable emotion flickers over his features, “it's going well, actually. Really well. In fact I wanted to talk to you about it.”
“Me?!” I screech, turning several heads in our direction at the outburst. “Sorry! Sorry. I just don't know it's a great idea to talk about your new girlfriend with your...um...baby mama?”
Brad's face drains of all colour, “No! Oh god, no.
I didn't mean it like that. No, no, no. I meant I wanted to ask you how you'd feel about meeting her in an official capacity as my girlfriend?” It's his turn to watch my expression now and I try hard not to flinch.
“Because I'd like for her to meet Lizzie at some point, but I'd really like your stamp of approval first, Blaze.”
Oh this is so much worse than just imagining them fucking on my sofa spot. This is...
“Wow. Things are really getting that serious between you? It's big step, meeting the kid.”
“I really like her, Shari. And if I want to give this a real try, I have to go all in. Introducing her to you and, eventually, Lizzie is a big part of that.”
“Yeah, no, I totally get it. I'm, I'm happy for you, if you're happy. So, yeah, I'd love to meet her.”
He releases his breath on a whoosh and a slow smile creeps over his face.
“Maybe we could come back here next weekend for brunch? Neutral ground. And drop Lizzie with Trey or one of the girls for a couple hours, so you can meet Larissa unencumbered, per se.”
I try for a smile, “Yeah. Yes. That sounds,” gut wrenching, “lovely.”
Brad watches me for a moment. “Are you ok, Shari? Truly?”
“Of course, I'm fine,” not even close, “why do you ask?”
“You seem a bit down. Not your usual bubbly self, that's all. Is everything ok?”
“Yes, absolutely! I'm just tired, that's all.” He doesn't seem convinced so I tack on, “I promise. I'll have a nap when I get home and I'm sure that'll sort me right out!” Too perky, Shari, tone it down.
Our food arrives, and our conversation moves on, but I'm already dreading next weekend. Because from everything he’s told me about her over the last few weeks, I’m sure I'm going to love Larissa too.