Chapter 27 Bloody Inset Days #2
Brad chuckles along with her, his eyes shining with mirth, and for that moment, I feel like an outsider. Like I'm intruding on their family and I don't belong. The feeling is almost suffocating, but thankfully the conversation moves on, giving me time to regroup.
After the meal, we retreat into the lounge with hot drinks and biccies. Brad drops onto the love seat and drags me to sit down next to him, whilst Shari plops down on the carpet with Lizzie, next to his legs. “Oh! Shari, do you want to sit here? You don't have to sit on the floor, I can move.”
She smiles up at me, “Thank you, Larissa, you're very sweet, but there's no point in me sitting on a chair. Lizzie will have me on the floor in minutes anyways.” And sure enough, Lizzie immediately commands her mother to lie on the carpet so she can play doctor with her new plastic medical kit.
“When does your school go back in the New Year, Larissa?” Grace asks, sipping her mulled wine.
“Officially, we teachers are back in on the fifth of Jan but it's an inset day, so the kids don't come back until the sixth.”
“Bloody inset days,” Grace grumbles, “they used to drive me mad when these two were at school and we were both working.”
I don't really know how to respond to that, so I just stare into my mug, trying not to choke on my chocolate Hobnob.
“Mum, don't be rude. Larissa doesn't make the rules,” Brad chastises as he wraps his arm around me, protectively.
“Sorry, Larissa. I didn't mean that to sound like I was aiming it at you.”
“Oh, that's ok. I understand it can be quite frustrating for parents.”
The conversation marches on again, and after a while I notice Shari lean her head back onto the seat cushion by Brad's knee with her eyes closed. She must be exhausted if she's been up with Lizzie since five o’clock this morning, as she told me earlier.
“I nearly forgot! I brought gifts. Let me go and grab them, two seconds!” I jump up and rush into the hallway, where I left my bag.
When I return, Brad's hand is stroking Shari's hair softly, and that pit in my stomach makes itself known again.
When his thumb starts rubbing back and forth along her forehead, the pit turns into a chasm.
I don't think he's even conscious that he's doing it, which makes it worse, somehow.
Does he have feelings for her? He told me he didn't when I asked before, but this doesn't seem like I only care about her as a friend behaviour.
I clear my throat and walk back into the room with as bright a smile as I can manage, and hand out a wrapped gift to each person in the room. What I'm not expecting is the pile of gifts Shari passes to Brad from under the tree that he settles on my lap.
“What...what are these?”
“It's Christmas, sweetie. These are your gifts. From all of us.”
I look around at everyone to see them smiling softly at me, stealing my next inhale.
My eyes well with tears. “I’m…wow. I'm so touched.
Thank you, all. You really didn't have to get me anything, this is too much.” I'm overwhelmed, and my emotions are confused because the heartache from watching Brad and Shari hasn't quite abated.
Blinking away my tears, I open each present carefully. A beautiful cashmere scarf and glove set from Brad's parents, a Body Shop bath bundle from Hettie, a lip balm and matching scented candle pack from Shari, and a gorgeous pair of silver and peridot earrings from Brad.
Everyone has opened their presents from me with a round of thanks, but I'm most anxious about Brad's gift. He opens the box and his face stills. I don't know what that means but it can't be good, “You hate them.”
I try to take the box back from him, “It's ok, I still have the receipt so we can exchange them for something else,” I'm trying so hard not to cry because I really thought this would be a great gift.
As soon as I saw the gold surfboard cufflinks, they practically sang to me.
It was like they were made for him. How did I get it so wrong?
“No! Larissa, no, I don't hate them at all. I love them. It's just…” his eyes flick to Shari, who has a remorseful look on her face as she peers over his knee to see into the box, “Shari already got me this exact pair.”
“Larissa, I'm so sorry! I should've, I don't know, consulted with you, maybe?
I didn't even think this might happen,” she grimaces, and that chasm inside me grows another inch.
“Brad, you should keep Larissa's pair, and I'll get you something else. In fact, I saw a fun set of printed boxers you’d love. I can get those!”
“No, no, no, please don't do that. He's already opened yours and you gave them to him first, so I'll...I'll think of something else. Please, I'll feel worse if you have to return yours.”
“I feel awful, though,” she says, brow furrowed.
“Brad, you can teach me to surf. Then I'll have Shari's cufflinks and you can have my golfing day at Celtic Manor Resort! Although, I really don't want to give that up. Oh, you can be my plus one?” Phil offers. I think he's trying to lighten the mood, but my stomach is already in my shoes.
“Oi, I thought I was going to be your plus one! This idiot wouldn't know a wedge from a putter!” Hettie scoffs, thumbing Brad over her shoulder.
The playful bickering continues around me as I feign amusement, but I'm fixated on the fact that Shari's head has returned to its reclined position on the cushion next to against Brad's knee, and once again he's stroking her hair absently.
Does she also have feelings for him?
After another hour, in which I decided it was safest to play with Lizzie and Pickles on the floor, I excuse myself to the bathroom. As I'm walking back into the hallway, I hear low voices, so I soften my steps not to interrupt.
Peeking around the corner, I see Brad and Shari talking in hushed tones when he suddenly pulls her to him.
Her forehead resting on his shoulder, arms draped around his waist, his arms band tightly across her upper back and one hand threads into her hair.
After an eternity that could also just be a minute, Shari pulls away and Brad kisses her forehead.
She yawns and rubs her face as he turns her towards the stairs, not moving until she completely disappears from view.
I think it's safe to say my suspicion about them having feelings for each other isn't unfounded. I feel sick to my stomach and am about to tiptoe back to the sanctity of the bathroom when Brad turns around.
“Hey Riss, Shari said to tell you goodnight and she'll see you at breakfast. She's exhausted, so I sent her to bed,” he slings his arm around my shoulder when I pull up alongside him, and kisses my temple.
I don't think he's cheating on me, maybe I'm naive but I don't believe he would do that. But that doesn't mean he isn't in love with the mother of his child. Will that ever go away? Can he ever give his heart to me? I'm too scared of the answer to ask.