Chapter 9 – Shane
When we walk into the house, Luke is waiting at the door to greet us. “Hi, Mama,” he says as he reaches up to her.
Beth flashes me a look of desperation, and I know she’s asking me to run interference for her. “Hey, buddy,” I say, distracting him by picking him up. “Did you have fun with Mimi?”
Beth rushes past us.
“What’s wrong with Mama?” Luke asks, watching his mother disappear down the hallway.
Cooper steps up beside me, concern written all over his face as he stares after her.
“Let’s give her a few moments,” I say quietly, as Sam—thank God—takes Luke from me and carries him back toward the kitchen.
“She’s not handling this well,” Cooper says.
“I’ll go check on her.” When I step into our bedroom, I quickly scan the room, but I don’t see her. Then I notice the bathroom door is shut. I cross the room and try the knob. It’s locked.
She locked herself in the bathroom.
Not a good sign.
I knock quietly. “Beth? Sweetheart?”
No answer.
I walk away from the door and pace at the foot of our bed, wanting to give her a few minutes in case she’s indisposed.
After I’ve waited as long as I can stand, I return to the door and knock. “Beth?”
She doesn’t reply, but almost immediately I hear the water running in the sink.
I knock again, this time with more force. “Beth, open the door.” I raise my voice to be heard over the water.
Still no response.
My pulse picks up as this moment brings back a lot of painful memories around the time of her attack.
“What’s she doing in there?” Cooper asks.
I hadn’t even heard him come into the bedroom. “I don’t know. She won’t answer me.”
Cooper knocks hard on the door. “Honey, open up, please.”
I nudge Cooper with my elbow. “Can you get me something to pick the lock with?”
“I’ll be right back.”
While I’m waiting for Cooper to return, I talk to Beth through the door, hoping she can hear me over the sound of the water. “Sweetheart, I know you’re upset. I understand, and it’s all right, but you need to open this door and let me talk to you face to face. Please, Beth.”
She still doesn’t respond, and now I’m trying hard not to freak out and possibly overreact. Maybe she just wants to be alone right now. That’s understandable.
When Cooper returns, he pushes me out of the way and leans down to jimmy the lock. He actually retrieved a lock pick.
“A toothpick would have worked just as well,” I note.
He ignores me as he finishes the job, turns the handle, and pushes the door wide open.
I step into the room, and my heart slams against my ribs when I see Beth sitting on the floor, leaning against the vanity with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her arms are wrapped around her legs, and she’s pressing her face down on her arms. Her shoulders are shaking, so I assume she’s crying.
“Damn it,” Cooper mutters from somewhere behind me. “I’m going to kill that little shit.” Of course he means Andrew.
“Sorry,” I mutter, “but you’ll have to get in line.”
At the sound of our voices, Beth lifts her tear-stained face. Strands of her hair have fallen free and are hanging down, partially concealing her tear-filled eyes.
She turned on the faucet to mask the sounds of her cries.
“I’ll hold down the fort, while you handle this,” Cooper says, patting my shoulder before he backs out of the bathroom. “Please get her up off the floor.”
After turning off the water, I crouch down in front of Beth and lift her face. Seeing her like this hurts like a knife to the heart. She reminds me of that scared, anxious young woman I first met five years ago.
I brush Beth’s hair back from her hot face and grab a tissue off the vanity to wipe her tears. “Come with me.” I stand and scoop her up in my arms and carry her to our bedroom.
I head for the sofa across the room and sit, placing her on my lap. I slip off her shoes and tuck her feet up on the cushions.
She’s clearly not in the mood to talk at the moment, so I wrap my arms around her and hold her against my chest.
I run my hand slowly up and down Beth’s back, and I’m relieved when she relaxes in my arms, resting her weight against me. I press my lips to her temple. “I’m sure seeing Andrew again dredged up a lot of painful memories.”
She nods. “He kept looking at me, Shane. There was no expression on his face. None. It was like he was dead inside. You’d think he’d feel something.”
“I think what you’re experiencing is akin to PTSD, don’t you think?”
She wraps her arms around my waist. “Yes.”
“Maybe the panel will reject Andrew’s request.”
She pulls back to look me in the eye. “And if they don’t?”
“I won’t let him hurt you, Beth. You have my word.”
She wipes her eyes and cheeks and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay, enough of this. I need to get my act together.” She stands and straightens her clothing.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
She nods. “I don’t really have a choice, do I? The kids need me to be strong, at least for them.”
Together, we walk into the kitchen. Ava is seated in her highchair, and it looks like Ingrid is feeding her some yogurt and berries. Cooper’s handing a cup of coffee to Sam.
When Luke spots Beth, he comes running to her, crashing into her legs with the force of a pint-sized locomotive. “Mama! Are you okay?”
Beth picks him up and kisses the side of his head. “I’m fine, sweetie.”
“Are you sad?” he asks, his features etched in concern. “You look sad.”
Beth pastes on a smile. “I’m a bit tired, that’s all.”
“If you want to take a nap, I’ll read you a story. Do you like sharks?”
Her fake smile quickly morphs into a genuine one, and she hugs Luke tightly. “My sweet boy.”
After lunch, Ingrid kisses the kids—and her daughter—goodbye and heads across the street to her house. I took the day off so I could stay home with my family. Sam and Cooper join us.
We do our best to act as if nothing’s wrong because we don’t want to worry the kids. It’s going to be a bit of a wait until we hear the panel’s decision, which won’t come until sometime next week at the earliest. In the meantime, we have to carry on as normally as possible.
* * *
That night, as we’re lying in bed, Beth’s anxiety surfaces, and I hold her in my arms as she cries herself to sleep. I lie awake for a long time considering my options in the event Andrew is released.
Of course, I will increase security around the family compound, as well as for Beth when—if—she leaves the shelter of our private housing development. If Andrew is released, I hope Beth will agree to stay at home until we have a better idea of what we’re dealing with.
An alternative I haven’t ruled out is relocating my family far away from Chicago.
That would be a drastic step, as it would mean we’d be leaving our extended family.
I’d also have to turn over the day-to-day running of McIntyre Security to someone else, most likely my brother Jake.
I know Cooper’s not interested in a desk job.
Besides, I’d bet Cooper and Sam would want to come with us.
I haven’t decided where we’d move, but a few possibilities have crossed my mind—namely New York City, Boston, or Montreal. I have large offices in those cities. And there, we’d be beyond the reach of a small-minded prick like Andrew Morton.
My mind races as I sort through all our options. I know it’s a bit premature because we don’t know how the panel will rule. But what kind of husband and father would I be if I didn’t plan for every possible contingency?
It’s going to be a long, painful wait until we find out what the decision is.