A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love (The Bonetti Family #2)

Royal

I fell in love with a hoe…

I kept thinking that shit over and over.

There was no way of soothing the truth. The hoe I fell for was Serenity Dalanie.

Even the word ‘hoe’ tasted bitter when I thought of her.

Over time, she wasn’t just a hoe to me, no matter how much I thought about the reality of what and who she truly was.

That was the problem. I’d seen too much in her…

more than I should’ve ever allowed myself to see.

I dragged my hand down my face, feeling the rough stubble scrape from my beard hair against the palm of my hand.

It was three in the morning and here I was sitting in her parking lot outside of her nice ass apartment like a creeped-out nigga.

My engine was still running, heater blowing low.

My fingers tapped at the steering wheel willing myself to pull away.

I leaned my head back against the head rest then shut my burning eyes.

The first time Serenity stayed on the phone all night with me on one of my sleepless nights came to the forefront of my mind.

Anger consumed me as I thought about how bad I started to feel like I needed her without ever realizing the shit.

She was always there; didn’t matter if I had to pay for her time or just simply call.

What clouded my mind now was maybe her always being there because of the price I was always willing to pay for just the proximity of her.

Especially during nights like this… When my chest felt too tight and my nightmares damn near felt like my current reality.

Serenity never asked questions, and when she listened to me talk, I never sensed judgement from her.

Most of the time after we fucked, it felt good to just lay there beside her.

She’d listen to my silence like she understood the language of a broken man.

That’s what got me. She saw the broken me… The side of myself that I hid from others…especially the Bonetti family… because showing emotions was a sign of weakness.

Serenity wasn’t just a hoe. She was a woman who’d been chewed up by life and still found a way to look perfect, feel soft and appear well put together when she didn’t have to be.

I hated that I thought so far deep into her.

Hated that I noticed how her laugh sounded different when shit had been fucking with her.

I noticed everything about her each time we spent time together.

Down to how she got quiet when she thought too much.

I saw intelligence behind her gentle innocent eyes.

Our pain came from different shit of the past but I still felt hers, and it felt raw and anxious, radiating off of her and waves.

I wanted to be the one to numb that shit just to see her at ease and really living like she deserved.

We both were broken but… that’s why there was never any judgement on both ends from us…

There was potential that Serenity didn’t see in herself. At least through my own brokenness I saw my potential. I had confidence regardless of what haunted me… She didn’t.

I rubbed my chest as if I was rubbing all the feelings that welled up inside of me away.

There was so much shit I hated when it came to her that I could write a damn book about it.

She moved like she already accepted what the world labeled her as.

Worse thing of all, behind all that mouth that constantly spewed out bullshit, Serenity was just as broken as me.

She used sex as a drug and a means to get by.

I told myself that I would stop dipping my dick in her sweet loose pussy but still kept going back just off the connection alone.

I had to stop this shit, be a man and deal with my own shit first. I wasn’t raised to have certain vices to serve as a scapegoat.

I was taught to face shit cold cut with no easy way out.

I felt lost because, for years now, it was easy to hide and cover what was on the inside even when I felt like exploding.

I laid shit all the way out for Serenity months ago and she acted like she was on the same accord with me.

The moment I thought she and I would be good, I had never in my life experienced the kind of peace it brought me to know that I had someone who was only for me, someone to hold me down outside of the Bonetti name.

As much as I tried to deny the shit, I wanted love.

A companion. It didn’t matter that it was one of the requirements as Capo to Luca.

I actually wanted somebody real and not perfect cause I was far from that shit. When Drake said “Who’s out there for me?” I felt like that person was Serenity.

She lied to my face and told me that she was ready for something new with me, and I believed that shit.

I ain’t never been the type of nigga to want to settle for a woman.

I had plenty at my disposal. I never had a girlfriend, and never in a million years did I imagine wanting to make a former highly paid escort my first. After seeing Luca fall for the same woman that killed his father, it inspired my bullshit with Serenity even more.

I blame that hot and cold ass nigga… I shook my head hard instantly ready to randomly call Luca and curse his ass out for the unwanted inspiration of love.

For Serenity, I was willing to take a leap of faith.

Although I didn’t broadcast that shit to the world, I was happy she at least promised to slow down and be on some real shit with a nigga.

I held back from telling Luca because he just got out of a long dark depression from La’Nova leaving him and disappearing with no traces of which direction she left to.

On top of that, we had to bury a man that we looked up to as a second father.

Di Lucas… my God… my heart hadn’t thumped right since I helped throw dirt on top of his all-gold casket.

I found solace… happiness with Serenity months after Di Lucas’ funeral.

I was able to freeze my mourning while looking forward to being cooped up under her, and with open arms, she accepted a nigga.

My happiness was quickly twisted into rejected anger once I realized that Serenity was playing a nigga hard.

We broke up before we could even make the shit all the way official.

I blamed myself for always coming back. And here I was outside of her apartment tonight.

I desperately needed her to give me that feeling.

A feeling where my broken heart didn’t feel broken anymore.

Maybe it was all an illusion, but she made me feel something…

I needed it… If I didn’t get something tonight, I’d probably crash the fuck out and that wasn’t good for business.

My mask was slipping, sanity depleting. I carried the biggest burdens with ease but lately, those burdens started to feel like bricks. My jaw ticked when her third-floor window lit up. Then I saw that stupid ass ring light along with the silhouette of another nigga.

“This bitch gon’ stop playing with me,” I muttered to myself.

I couldn’t shake her loose no matter how much liquor I poured down my throat to slow down my own chaotic thoughts.

This bitch was under my skin, fucking with me physically, mentally, and emotionally.

She was someone I could no longer tolerate.

An extra stress that I no longer needed yet still wanted.

Fuck! I need to feel something…that something was Serenity Dalanie’s fine, yellow bone, freaked out ass!

Mutha fucka’s be quick to say the pussy would make a nigga act like this…

That was far from the truth for me when it came to Serenity.

Her weak ass pussy held no power over me.

Her head was dangerous, the kind that made a nigga close his eyes and forget about his current problems. But I had better.

Plenty of better. Women who moved their bodies to my tune, who knew every trick and every pressure point… None of that was Serenity.

As I said, it was the way she talked to me and listened, the way we vibed together.

I recognized the trauma bond, the scapegoat that we found in each other, which was unhealthy as fuck.

Still… it felt good. It felt safe. It felt like I needed it more than I wanted it.

For that reason alone, I was determined to offer her the position of being my woman. I wanted her as mine.

That result was her playing in my face like I was some lovesick ass nigga.

Saying fuck it, I stepped out of my car and took in my surroundings. Her building was one of those quiet mid-level complexes tucked between better neighborhoods so people could pretend they lived somewhere richer than they actually did.

Palm trees swayed from the wind as I inhaled the smell of cold asphalt and somebody frying chicken along with the smell of rain on the way.

By the time I reached her door, my chest felt tight like somebody wrapped wire around my ribs.

I knocked once then stepped back, immediately regretting stepping out of my car to even acknowledge her.

To keep it real, I had no real reason to be here. Especially after I had cursed her dog ass out and told her she’d never hear from me again. Soon as I thought about walking away, the door opened, and her peachy sweet scent took over my senses.

Who the fuck wears lip gloss and make up at three in the fuckin’ morning? I asked myself.

A hoe that’s fucking a strange nigga and recording that shit for her Only-fuckin’-fans…that’s who! I thought, scoffing at my own thoughts.

I frowned at the sexy, provacative sight of her.

She had on hot pink panties that fit snug against her fat pussy.

Her thighs and legs were greased down to perfection, creating a wet illusion.

I took my time gazing at her pretty light pink toenails.

My eyes traveled up her flat stomach to the matching lace hot pink bra holding up her perky breasts.

“Roy?” She snapped me out of my daze. “You good?”