Luca #3
“I do… I’m trying to create better memories while it’s early.” I pointed at Novae.
“She doesn’t have to accept the other kids, not even for me…
but I know she will. The interior of Nova baby is love…
I felt it, saw it flicker then dim behind her eyes.
Nothing about us and the way we came about is normal…
I just want to create better memories for her and of her for me. ” I relaxed my hands against the seat.
La’Nova… La’Nova… I said out loud in my head. God really sent her to me despite knowing the hard truths and secrets about her. I couldn’t do nothing but embrace it because I wanted her in my life no matter what. Fuck what others thought. She was my cause and cure.
The garage hummed around us; I glanced over at Novae then became content with watching her sleep peacefully in the presence of Roy and I. This was downtime for us. Nothing chaotic going on for now while we worked out the kinks of our personal lives.
I leaned back deeper into the chair, rubbing my thumb slowly against the scar on my throat just as Roy lifted his hands again.
“You a real man, Luca.” He tapped his chest firmly.
Compliments always made me feel a way receiving them, especially from people whose opinions actually mattered. Roy kept signing before I could brush it off.
“I’m serious, not playing,” he continued.
“Since we were kids… I always admired you. Even while you admired Kentrell blindly, I still admired the kind of heart and persona you had.”
My chest tightened from his admission. Thoughts of how much I admired Kentrell came crashing into the forefront of my mind vividly. I loved my big brother a lot growing up.
“You always understood things deeper than everybody else.” The overhead lights reflected across his gold watch while his fingers moved steadily through the silence.
“You always patient, even when you got every reason not to be… that’s why you the perfect Don.
Ain’t nobody like you, Luca. I hope you take the time to sometimes be proud of yourself and the man you continue to grow into, even when the most important people no longer here to cheer you on.
” Roy spoke lowly now. I heard the emotions in his voice as it cracked after every couple of words.
I wanted to shake my head because perfect wasn’t a word that belonged near me. Not after all the blood attached to my decisions. Roy kept going before I could argue.
“Dontrell taught us a lot… but you taught me to lead with understanding instead of fear… Look at our table and the less work we have to do as Don and Capo. Shit so organized, we have time on our hands to have these kind of talks… to start families of our own… this is what Di Lucas and Dontrell grinded so hard for… Every man sitting around our table works in unity… I swear I love this shit… but I love you more.” Roy’s eyes misted over just as my shoulders relaxed in acceptance.
“It takes a hell of a man to make people feel safe around power. Niggas not walking round on eggshells or plotting to go against you cause they know it ain’t a thoroughbred like you… as a brother…” His voice cracked.
“I didn’t need no man or woman on earth to reveal that we were blood because I’ve always felt that shit,” he continued.
“You getting sentimental,” I rasped, before I detected my own emotions in my tone of voice.
“Hell yeah, I am… I just be really sitting back seeing the bigger picture, man. We had to take people out, shed tears… feel pain… just to get to this moment right here.”
I looked away briefly toward Novae again, then I looked back at Roy. I let myself fully receive what he was saying to me instead of rejecting it.
“You a real man too, Royal,” I croaked out, feeling my chest tighten.
His smirk faded followed by him dropping his head.
“You loyal without needing the recognition for it. You been carrying pain quietly without mentioning it at all. I trust you with everything, including my well-being and my kids… the same kids that adore you. I don’t know how I’d be able to even manage without you,” I confessed.
“Okay.” Roy threw his hands up dramatically.
“This brotherhood shit getting a little too emotional for me.” He quickly wiped away a fallen tear.
“Want a hug?” I rasped out half-jokingly.
If Roy needed a hug, I’d give him one with no hesitation.
“Nah, save that hug for a later date… Never know when one of us might need it the most. Right now, a nigga need a blunt along with a hefty rack to lay my head on… I gotta drive all the way to Spike’s bar to get my Breasturant.” he complained.
“Accept my words, Roy…” I pressed because I knew he was putting up a wall, finding it hard to accept and hear good things about himself.
“I accepted yours and believe them… accept what I said and believe it. I love you, my true and thoroughbred brother,” I said heavily, meaning every word.
He nodded his head, sniffled back the rest of his emotions and locked eyes with me. I saw the battle in his eyes until they softened, and only then could I see him accepting everything that I said to him.
“I accept… I love you too.”