Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
The clearing is impossibly idealistic. With the sunset transforming the entire area into a photo-worthy scene and the river in the background providing a soundtrack of calmness, it’s a soothing, almost holy space.
People continue to arrive, forming smaller groups.
Phil and I are the strange nexus point in the center.
“You doing okay, Mr. Sunshine? You got quiet on me.”
“Yeah, just taking it all in. I’ve never seen anything like it.
” It’s a soothing, almost holy space. Even if the dress skimming her body lovingly and hugging it in all the right places makes me want to sin.
Do not stare. Shifting my focus to the area, I try and fail not to look at the scoop neck, showing off her delicate collarbone and the swell of her cleavage.
I want to taste her flesh with my tongue.
Would she taste spicy like cardamom? Don’t.
Ripping my attention from her, I watch the mayor.
I need to shut down this train of thought because it won’t go anywhere.
“I want to welcome everyone to the annual Lantern Lighting Festival. Let’s give all our volunteers a huge round of applause.
Without them, none of this would be possible.
” Mayor Branch projects her voice in the clearing, a few feet away.
A ring of people surrounds her, filling the mid-sized area.
From what she said, the group of nearly one hundred is bigger than the previous years.
Desperate, I watch Mayor Branch as I search for a lifeline.
The energy shifts as the celebration dies down. I swear the trees lean in to listen and absorb it all. I wonder if this area is on one of those ley lines. It’s almost disorienting. Mayor Branch hands us the first lantern. Our fingers brush as we settle it between us.
“For those joining us for the first time, the lantern festival is a way to connect to that which we want most. It’s a quiet plea to the universe to bring us what we're most aligned with. I want you to clear your minds. Breathe in with me for four beats.”
Closing my eyes, I suck in air, immersing myself in the potent vibrations of my environment.
“And out. Release all negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. This is a safe place. Dream big. Trust your intuition. Breathe in and release. Let a thought, an image, or a feeling form.” Mayor Branch’s voice softens, going from authoritative to encouraging.
She pauses, looking out over the crowd. “Can you feel it?”
Belonging, acceptance, and love spring to mind. Instead of blocking things, I let the thoughts flow freely. Goosebumps rise on my arms.
“Do you have it?” the mayor whispers to us. “Imagine it flowing into the lantern in your hands.”
The lantern between us practically vibrates. “Remember. Let the lantern guide you. Take note of the colors and sounds it might give off.”
Phil and I hold up the lantern, and she ignited the wick with a long black lighter. It catches. The flame tip turns bright red, then magenta.
“How?” I whisper.
Phil grins. I catch a hint of a small dimple in her left cheek.
“When it feels right. Let the winds take it,” Mayor Branch says.
After a few heartbeats, Phil nods. We adjust our hold, fingers brushing. Her nostrils flare. I want to trace her features with my fingers and memorize every inch. Leaning in, I breathe her sweet, floral, spiced vanilla scent into my lungs.
“Ready?” she asks breathlessly.
Unable to speak around the mysterious lump in my throat, I nod. We raise our arms, and the wind catches the lantern, taking it. It burns with a bright pink hue.
“Come on. We have to track it.” Phil’s voice is full of excitement.
Grabbing my hand, she pulls me behind her. Carefree and full of joy, she’s completely different right now. I can’t resist her. Traveling along the bank, we watch as the lantern floats forward rather than up, as if it wants us to follow it.
“Is this normal?”
She laughs. “Depends on your definition. They tend to be unpredictable.” Her lips pucker into what I’ve come to think of as her thinking pout. “I still haven’t figured out how they work.”
The rectangle spins as if it’s alive and demanding our attention.
“Maybe it doesn’t matter,” I say.
When it continues forward, we follow. Away from the marked-off area, the quiet grows. The full moon gives enough light to avoid fallen limbs and dips. A gust of wind pushes the lantern back to us.
“Oh.” Phil hops back, bumping into me.
I wrap my arms around her waist. “Got you.”
Blood rushes in my ears. She tilts her head back. With the lantern flickering happily and her body warm and pliant, I break. I have to know. All the back and forth, and near misses have me tied in knots. Licking my lips, I take the leap.
“I’m going to kiss you now, Pepper.” The husky tone is nearly unrecognizable. What is this woman doing to me?
Dark eyes dilating, she stares up at me. Her lips tremble. “Yes.” Voice hoarse, she leans into me with complete acceptance.
Heart thudding in my chest, I drown in her soft brown eyes. The venom she usually wields is missing. I spin her in my arms to face me, and she pushes up on the balls of her feet, meeting me halfway.
Our lips meet, and a powerful pulse of energy tears through me. Her plush lips yield in response. I moan, and she opens for me. Flicking my tongue out, I explore the soft petals of her perfect pout before I slip inside.
Warm and minty, she’s addictive. Her tongue slides against mine.
My entire body clenches. A sense of rightness washes over me.
I trail my hands over her back, cupping her round bottom.
Whimpering, she tilts her head, deepening the kiss.
Phil fits against me like she’s made to be there.
Drinking her down, I tease her with gentle sucks of her tongue.
She buries her fingers in my hair, tugging gently.
I rock against her. Brush rustles. A stick snaps in the nearby tree line. We freeze, pulling away, breathing hard.
“We shouldn’t have done that.” Hand shaking, she touches her swollen mouth.
Her response hits me right in the gut.
“It’ll complicate everything, right? I mean, we don’t even like each other,” she rambles.
“I like you just fine.” My lips twitch up.
“Oh.” Her mouth forms an “o”. “You do?” Eyes unfocused, she directs a silly smile up at me.
“Yes.” The lantern appears to hover above us, watching the scene play out. I narrow my gaze. “Did this lead us to each other?”
“No. It couldn’t have—” her voice trails off. We peer up, watching the object give us a show. Flickering wildly, the flame dances, casting shadows onto the off-white walls that encase it. Side by side, arms brushing, we’re both at peace.
“Does that look like people?” I ask, amazed.
“Yes.” The shadowy figures circle each other on the lantern. They dance, the physical embodiment of our non-courtship. The male figure moves forward and bows. She waits, hesitant and unsure.
A moment later, she steps forward. He offers his hand. She takes it. The two merge to become a heart, and the clever little lantern drifts away. Was this a sign? A look at what we could have?
“That can’t happen every time.” I marvel at the show clearly made for us.
Phil shakes her head. “I’ve never seen one do anything like that.”
Peeking up at me, Phil is more relaxed than I’ve ever seen her. I want to see this contented version of the spicy woman I admire more. It’s like the burdens she normally carries have been lifted.
“What do you think it meant?” I say to gauge her thoughts.
“Just a coincidence. Maybe there was some kind of shadow box effect rigged up for when it reached a certain heat?” Brow’s dipping, I sense her brain trying to dream up practical effects that make sense.
“Or someone up there is trying to tell us to stop fighting what we feel.”
“Do you really believe that?” Her brown eyes pin me to the spot.
Apprehension hits hard. I ignore it and take a risk. “I have fun with you. Do you?”
“Yes, but that’s not enough to know if we should date. These things never work out for me. And my life’s a mess.” Her shoulders fall.
“Mine too. But what we have feels like a good enough reason to explore, doesn’t it?”
“How about we try the friend’s thing first?”
I hate the seven-letter word. “Sounds like a plan.” I toe the ground.
Regret flickers across her face. Did she want me to fight her on that? Thinking of my ex, I hesitate. I’m not ready to pursue someone without knowing they want the same things I do.
“It’s the right thing.” Funny how she doesn’t sound convinced.
“Should we join the others?” If I want to keep my promise, I need to get us around people. She’s too tempting like this.
“Probably.” She glances out over the river. “I forgot how peaceful it is out here. In the city, everyone was on the go. It was all about deadlines, progress, and money.”
Staying quiet, I let her continue.
“You get swept up into the culture, and it becomes the norm. I never had much love for it, truly. But it was the toll you paid to work in that industry. I like that the projects I oversaw are still standing. There was a school park that utilized solar energy and recycled materials I’ll never forget.
Another was a living wall inside an office building.
They’re a physical legacy I get to leave behind long after I’m gone.
It’s something for others to use and enjoy. ”
“I get it. My old position was a supportive role that kept others’ jobs going smoothly, too. Being an essential part of a process for so long was incredible. I managed arrivals and departures of planes while keeping an eye on the weather and other delays.”
“Why did you stop?
I could avoid her question. But my gut tells me she’d clam back up.
“Remember what I said about soaring to great heights meaning falls from high distances.”
“Uh, huh.”
“I fell. My partner and I. It broke everything around us.” I swallow, moistening my dry throat. “It was ugly. People turned on each other. I worked at the airport back in Atlanta. A bad call in the tower led to an accident.”
“Oh, crap.”
I give a curt nod, unwilling to go any further.
“I’m sorry that happened. I won’t pretend to know what it must’ve felt like.”
“Me too.” Clearing my throat, I study the bright moon. Here, so far from the light pollution, it’s massive. I feel lighter for having shared.
“When I got laid off, it felt personal. Like my work wasn’t good enough for the new owners.” She shares more of herself.
“A lot of times it’s about putting their own people in those positions.”
She turns to face me. “Spoken like a man who worked in the corporate world.”
“Well, adjacent. It was Federal.”
“True. You’re right, though. The new project manager was a nepotism hire. Son of some C.E.O. Still wet behind the ears.” She scowls.
“Bet he couldn’t fill the shoes you left behind.” Most time people who don’t have to work for their position don’t treat it with the intensity of those who work hard to be there.
A wicked smirk curved her lips. “Not at all. They’ve lost accounts since.”
I laugh at her display of pettiness.
“It’s awful of me to take pleasure in it, I know.” She winces.
“Nah.” I shake my head. “It seems justified to me.”
She giggles. The airy sound does funny things to my equilibrium.
“I don’t really wish them ill. The way it happened just sucked,” she whispers.
“When I hit my lowest, I would go on hikes. Find a quiet spot and yell.” I admit.
“You?” she points to me.
“I had a lot of pent-up anger back then. And it needed some way to escape. Working out only did so much.”
“And that helped?” She sounds skeptical.
“Immensely.” I glance behind us. “I hear the falls not too far off. If we get closer, it’ll cover the sound.” I pause. “Assuming you want to try. It’s okay if you don’t.”
“I do,” she answers quickly.
“Alright then.” I hide my smile. “Lead the way.”
I glance down at the heels on her boots and offer her my hand. “I’ll keep you from falling.”
She puts her hand in mine. The act is huge.
“It’s just a bit further up that way.” She explains.
“You know the area better than me, so you take point.” I step back, allowing her to guide me.
“Takes a confident man to ride in the passenger seat,” she throws over her shoulder.
This feels like a test.
“A smart one knows it’s about knowledge and experience, not gender,” I reply.
“Huh. I like that.”
Sounds like I passed.
I help her step over a fallen log as we round a bend and stop.
“Whoa,” I whisper. The stars are scattered across an indigo sky. The moon is large, bright, and framed by wispy clouds. Tall pines form a semicircle framing the choppy white waters tumbling over a cliff.
“Stunning, aren’t they?” She sounds proud.
“Oh yeah.” We walk over to the edge of the bank.
“Ready?” I ask.
“You start,” she insists shyly. She hesitates.
I walk over to a large rock and climb out, looking out over the tranquil scene. Turning to her, I hold out my hand. “Come on, we’ll do it together.”
Shuffling over, reluctantly, she takes my hand and climbs up.
Side by side we stand silently.
“Think of everything you can’t control. All those emotions it invokes traveling up through your body to your throat.” My breathing increases as my core temp rises. The anger and fear that filled my waking hours during the trial are always there on the outskirts of my memory.
Shaking beside me, her hand reaches down and grabs my own, holding tight.
“We’re going to let all that out on three. One. Two. Three.”
Guttural yells fly free, ripped from the darkest part of our souls. The potent release bends us, and we crouch. Pain, frustration, and rage blend before they’re snatched away by the rushing water. There’s a powerful release that reverberates across the river. Her shoulders lower, and she pants.
“Did it help?” I yell to be heard.
“Yeah, it did.” Hair around her face acts like a curtain; she struggles to catch her breath. Tilting her head to the side, she gives me a shaky smile. Her misty brown eyes carve me open. “Thank you.”
The sincere response feels like a hard-earned prize. There’s a change occurring between us. I can’t wait to further explore what this means. Her trust is a precious commodity; I plan to handle it with care.
What about her heart? A treacherous voice questions. That’s none of my concern—for now.