10. Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Scott
M orrie dressed in his reindeer onesie was probably the cutest thing I’d seen. He was standing in front of the tree in the living room, hands on his hips as he eyed the ornaments I’d bought for us. I had considered taking him to the store and letting him have a choice, but I was treading carefully with this boy and needed him to relax in my space more than I needed to drag him to a busy shopping mall. Morrie liked quiet, I knew. He liked peaceful, calm things and I was determined to give him that.
“It has lights built in, but I bought garland to make the tree shine even more when we plug it in. Do you want me to string it on?”
His eyes snapped to mine and he nodded slowly, moving to pick up the golden garland I’d bought from where it rested on the couch. He held it out to me, though I noticed he was running it through his fingers carefully.
“Feels neat, huh?”
“Yeah,” he responded, with a small smile.
For someone who didn’t like physical touch, he seemed to crave sensation. I’d watched his hands trail upwards to his antlers numerous times since he’d gotten changed and he’d taken time to grab his shark stuffy and rub it all over his face before moving to the tree. Self soothing, I knew, because comfort from another was what he didn’t want yet he seemed to need something in its place.
With a bit of grumbling, I wrapped the garland around the tree and took a step back, eyeing my work. There were a lot of holes left but the amount of ornaments I’d bought would fill in those gaps, I was sure.
“Alright, little reindeer. Now comes the fun part. Where do we start with these ornaments?”
“At the front and all around,” Morrie said, after thinking on it for a moment.
At the front and all around sounded like a great plan to me, even if it wasn’t really much of a plan at all. I delved into one of the bags of ornaments and pulled out a box of Christmas balls in red and green, leaving the more fun ornaments behind for Morrie, along with the little surprise I’d put at the very bottom. If Morrie loved his reindeer onesie, then he was sure to love what I’d hidden beneath the ornaments. “There’s a bunch in there for you to hang, okay? Wherever you want them to go.”
He nodded and reached in, eyes lighting up as he pulled a small plastic seal wearing a Santa hat out. “Oh wow, are they all from the ocean?”
“Some of them are, but they don’t exactly make a lot of ocean themed ornaments.”
Morrie nodded, then reached out, hanging the seal on one of the branches. There was another seal and a couple of brightly colored fish hidden in the mix, but the best ornament was hidden beneath my socks in my dresser. I was planning on wrapping it and putting it beneath the tree for him to open on Christmas morning. I’d found a flat ceramic circle ornament that had an image of a shark eating a candy cane on the front and had decided that it would make a great present for the boy who loved the ocean. It reminded me of Mr. Starkey, in a way.
“You’re not hanging things? I’m already on my fifth ornament over here.”
I glanced over at the side of the tree Morrie was working away on, then back at my bare branches. “I better catch up then.”
As I hung things, I kept checking in on Morrie, watching his eyes light up with every new treasure he pulled from the bag. The toy train got a huge grin, but not as much as the little technicolor fish he’d found had. I stuck to the glass Christmas balls, adding them around the things he was hanging until we’d completely switched sides of the tree.
“Oh,” Morrie whispered, when he got down to the bottom of the bag. “What’s this?” He pulled out a small stuffed reindeer with a bright red nose and held it up so I could see it.
“Huh, where did he come from?” I asked, playing dumb as I reached out for it. I pretended to check it over as Morrie stood nearby, bouncing a bit on his feet like he was excited.
“Where did it come from?” he whispered, reaching out to run his fingers down the reindeer’s fuzzy flank.
“I think it says To Morrie, from Daddy?” I looked back at him and held the reindeer out for him to take. He gently plucked it from my fingers and held it against his chest rightly.
“From Daddy?" He looked a bit uncertain, but his excitement was shining through. I wasn't sure if it was because of the reindeer or the fact that he was allowed to call me Daddy today, but I was fine either way.
“That's my name today, remember? We're just giving it a try. Is that tortoise?”
“Tortoise. I remember. It’s really for me?” His eyes were full of wonder as he looked at the soft plush toy in his hands.
“It’s really for you,” I promised. “I thought he matched your onesie very well. Was I right?”
Morrie nodded, then tucked his head against his chest, bringing the stuffed animal up to touch his cheek. He gave it a few nuzzles, then lowered it again. “It's so soft, Daddy. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, brave little reindeer. Are we all done with ornaments now?”
Morrie nodded, then seemed to consider something before shaking his head. “The star.”
“Right. I forgot that part. You're so smart. Do you want to put it on or should I?”
Reasonably, we were both tall enough to reach the top of the tree, but Morrie sank back a little bit at the mention of it. “You should. I might break it.”
I almost protested that, but the moment I opened my mouth I turned to see Morrie rubbing the reindeer on his cheeks, his eyes closed in a moment that appeared serene and peaceful. "Are you too little for that, Morrie?"
"Yeah," he whispered back. "I probably can't reach."
Nailed it. With a smile, I reached into the bag and pulled out the star, placing it at the top of the tree and plugging it in to the rest of the lights that were embedded into the whole tree.
“It’s pretty,” he commented.
“I almost picked a blue one,” I teased, watching as he frowned a bit. “But, then I remembered that blue isn’t a Christmas color.”
“It’s not. Red, green, silver and gold. Those are the Christmas colors.”
I nodded, then down to pick up the plug that would light this entire tree up once it was plugged in. “Are you ready to see how it looks with lights on?”
“Yeah,” Morrie grinned, giving me a tiny nod.
“First, I need you to be a little brave. Can you do that?”
He tilted his head sideways at me. “Maybe.”
“I need you to lay down on your back and stick your head right under the tree so you can see the branches when you look up.”
“Why?”
“I want to show you something special.”
Morrie hesitated like he was thinking it over, but soon he dropped to his knees and crawled under the tree, turning on his back to face up. “Just a lot of branches, Daddy.’
“Are you looking at them?”
“Yeah, it’s just a bunch of green branches.”
I reached over and plugged in the tree, watching as it burst to life with color. I’d chosen a tree with multicolored bulbs in hopes that they’d catch on the glass Christmas balls and push color through the whole tree and if the noise Morrie made was anything to go by, they were doing just that.
“Oh!”
“Do you see it?” I asked, settling down on the floor beside him and ducking my own head beneath the tree. His eyes met mine, wide and glimmering with the glow from above.
“It’s so pretty,” he breathed, turning his face back up, the lights casting shadows over his cheeks and highlighting the fine hairs of his beard. “Look, the seal is glowing.”
Above our faces was a glowing mess of colors and shapes, the lights poking through the green branches and illuminating the ornaments we’d hung. One of the little seal ornaments was beside a yellow bulb and Morrie had been right, it was giving off an otherworldly glow.
“Good surprise?” I asked, turning my head to look at Morrie.
“The best,” he whispered back, unable to tear his eyes off the view above us.
I could feel the heat of him against my side and a slight press of his arm against mine where they rested side by side between our bodies, fingers dangerously close to touching. Morrie’s arm gave a tiny twitch like he had just realized we were touching and I anticipated him moving away, but instead I felt something graze my pinkie finger. Spreading my fingers out on the floor, I glanced at the boy beside me, face scrunched in concentration and eyes closed. His pinkie finger brushed mine again, and then wrapped itself around mine. Morrie exhaled a small puff of air like the effort of that was almost too much for him. I gave his finger the tiniest squeeze with my own pinkie as my success rang in my ears and my heart leaped in my chest.
“Brave boy,” I murmured, turning my lips towards his ear so there could be no mistaking how proud I was of him.
This.
This was what I pictured when I had promised Morrie a Christmas. He was sitting on the couch with his feet tucked beneath him, snacking on a little bowl of popcorn and sipping at chocolate milk without marshmallows from a Santa printed cup I’d bought specifically for him, while The Grinch played on the TV above the fireplace. He had smashed Mr. Starkey and the reindeer stuffy into the couch between him and the armrest and on occasion, I’d glance over to see him pretending to feed them bits of his popcorn. Part of me wondered how much of it was ending up in my couch, but I couldn’t really care.
He’d shrugged off adult Morrie and that was what mattered the most.
I’d watched him, waiting for that slide into little mode and it had come, tentative and unsure, as we’d finished decorating the tree and crawled beneath it to see the lights from below. He hadn’t made a single protest to my suggestion of a snack and a movie and, though he wasn’t cuddling up to me at all, he wasn’t ignoring me either. He’d laughed a couple of times and looked at me like he was asking if I found things funny like he had.
I watched as he yawned and wiped at his eyes with his hands, then picked up a piece of popcorn and popped it into his mouth. His eyes started drooping as he chewed and I could see his whole body starting to sink a bit into the cushions.
“Do you want to take a nap?”
“No,” he replied, though he yawned again. “Wanna watch the movie.”
“Okay, but if you feel you’re getting sleepy we could stop the movie and watch the rest later.”
“I’m okay.”
I didn’t believe that for a second. His eyes were drooping shut as the movie went on, his bowl of popcorn resting on his lap untouched and his mouth open a little bit. A few moments later, a soft snore rose from his lips and his head had dropped to the armrest of the couch, eyes closed. Carefully, I got off the couch and took his popcorn bowl off his lap, placing it on the table in front of him. I headed to the spare room I’d shown him earlier and grabbed the yellow quilt off the bed. It was thick and soft, crocheted by my grandmother’s loving hands, and I knew that it would be comfortable for him to snuggle up in if he wanted to.
I returned to the living room to find Morrie still fast asleep in the same crunched position at the corner of the couch. While my neck ached for what his would feel when he woke up, I didn’t dare touch him to move him into a more comfortable position. That would be crossing a line and I’d already gotten more touches than I thought I’d get today. I didn’t want to spoil it entirely so I carefully slung the quilt over his sleeping form, making sure that he was warm and toasty.