12. Kieran #3
Most of the time, I didn't think about it. Then something would happen that reminded me that everybody else's life came with people built into it.
I don't know what it was. The weather? The way Thane was looking at me? Either way, the words kept coming.
"This probably isn't going to make much sense," I said with a small laugh, "but my least favorite day in high school wasn't a test or a breakup or anything dramatic."
A faint smile tugged at my mouth.
"It was graduation."
Thane frowned. "Graduation?"
I nodded. "Everybody else had people."
For a moment, I was back there again. Caps. Gowns. Cameras flashing. Parents waving from the stands. Families carrying flowers and balloons.
"I spent four years working toward that day. Then I looked around and realized everybody had someone cheering for them." I swallowed. "I didn't."
The confession settled between us.
"That was the day I figured out loneliness doesn't always happen when you're by yourself. Sometimes it happens when you're standing in a crowd, and everybody else belongs to someone."
Thane didn't look away. If anything, his attention sharpened.
I laughed softly and shook my head. "Sorry. That got heavier than I intended."
"You don't have to apologize." The quiet acceptance in his voice settled over me.
Thane leaned back against the couch. "I'm an only child too."
The admission surprised me. But now that I thought about it, it shouldn’t have. Wikipedia didn’t mention anything about him having siblings.
"My parents had me later than most people have kids. By the time I made it to the NHL, they were already older than a lot of my teammates' grandparents."
A fond smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.
"They still came to games. Still acted like every goal was the first one I'd ever scored."
I found myself smiling.
"I thought about retiring a few years ago."
That surprised me even more. "You did?"
He nodded. "My dad was having some health issues. My mom was slowing down. I figured maybe it was time to be home."
His gaze drifted briefly toward the window. "They shut that idea down immediately."
I laughed.
"Mom told me they'd spent too many years driving me to practices and freezing in hockey arenas to become the reason I walked away from the game."
"And your dad?"
"He agreed with her."
"Smart man."
"The smartest." The affection in his voice was impossible to miss. "They moved into a senior living community instead. Somewhere with staff, activities, medical support, and people their own age to boss around."
That earned another laugh from me. "And now?"
"Now they pretend they're perfectly fine and remind me to focus on hockey every time I visit."
For a few moments, neither of us spoke. I became painfully conscious of how close we were sitting. Of the warmth of his leg brushing mine. In the way his gaze kept dropping briefly to my mouth before returning to my eyes. The realization sent a rush of heat through me.
"You're staring," I said softly.
A smile touched his mouth. "So are you."
The unfair thing was that he wasn't wrong. I should have looked away. Instead, I found myself leaning forward. Just enough to make the air between us feel smaller.
Thane's smile faded. Maybe because suddenly this wasn't a joke anymore. His hand settled lightly against my jaw. The touch was gentle enough that I could have moved away if I'd wanted to.
I didn't.
For a second, we simply looked at each other.
Then he lowered his head.
The first touch of his mouth against mine was slow, as though he was giving me every opportunity to change my mind. My eyes drifted closed. A quiet sound escaped my lips.
Something warm unfolded inside my chest.
The kiss deepened naturally, neither rushed nor hesitant. His thumb brushed lightly against my cheek while I slid one hand into the front of his sweater, needing the contact as much as the kiss itself.
When we finally pulled apart, neither of us moved very far. My heart was doing ridiculous things.
Thane rested his forehead briefly against mine and laughed softly. "There you are."
I blinked. "What does that mean?"
His smile was small but unmistakably fond. "It means you've spent the last hour pretending not to know I wanted to do that."
Heat flooded my face. "Maybe I was conducting research."
"Research?"
"I'm an education major."
His laugh filled the room. The sound settled somewhere deep inside me. For the first time all day, everything felt surprisingly simple.
Thane's gaze held mine for another moment before he leaned back slightly. "Good," he said.
I frowned. "Good?"
"Now I can ask you something without wondering whether I'm completely imagining this."
A nervous flutter woke inside my stomach. "That's ominous."
His smile widened. "No. Just honest." He hesitated briefly. Then he said, "I'd like to take you on a real date, Kieran."
For a second, I could only stare at him. Was Thane sitting on my couch and asking me to go with him on a date?
The whole thing felt absurd. Wonderful. Slightly terrifying. And completely unreal.
Still, the answer came easily. "Yeah," I said. My smile grew despite every effort to stop it. "I'd like that too."