Chapter Fourteen
Pamela had heard about the famously shaved ham at Vauxhall, but now here she was, eating it in a private box in the Gardens.
She could scarcely believe that Damian had gone to so much trouble on her behalf. The moment she realised where they were, what he had done, she had entirely lost her heart.
She knew she had fallen for him, but now she knew he was the only man she would ever love. Not that she could ever tell him so.
His reaction to her words earlier had made it perfectly clear he did not feel the same.
It hurt. Terribly. But she wasn’t going to let her sadness spoil the evening. It was not his fault she was the only one in love.
He was her friend and her lover. And neither of them had wanted more. She was going to treasure the memory of this evening for the rest of her life.
She glanced around the box. It was delightfully decorated with paintings of scenes from the tempest.
A waiter brought them champagne.
‘To my beautiful partner,’ Damian said, raising his glass.
For a moment her heart seemed to stop beating. Business partner, he meant. She blinked back the hot moisture that had welled in her eyes and sipped at the wine while the waiters delivered a salad and roast chicken among other dishes.
‘Thank you so much for doing this. How on earth did you manage to get them to open for just two people?’
He looked a little guilty. ‘The owner is indebted to me.’
‘Oh. Don’t tell me. You forgave his debt.’
‘I did. Not very businesslike of me, but worth every penny. Besides, who knew when he would be able to pay me back, if at all. I am pleased you like my surprise.’
‘It is wonderful.’
While they ate, a soprano joined the orchestra and sang a selection of songs from various operas.
‘Will you dance with me again?’ he asked when she finished her dessert, a delicious cheesecake.
‘I would love to.’ She would dance with him as many times as he wished, because after tonight she would likely never dance with him again. After the ball, she would find and leave for her seaside cottage and he would be travelling to the other side of the world.
This evening was like a fond farewell.
Her heart ached.
But how could she be sad when he had gone to so much trouble to give her such a wonderfully special gift? She gave him her brightest smile as he led her on to the dance floor.
They did not talk as they danced. The music and the movement of their bodies seemed to be the perfect conversation. A harmony of spirits.
She closed her eyes and sank into the pleasure of being held in his arms as if the world no longer existed.
Reality would return tomorrow, but tonight she would enjoy the dream.
A bell rang in the distance and it seemed to be some sort of signal because the orchestra ceased playing.
‘There are some sights you should see while you are here,’ he said, tucking her arm under his and matching her steps perfectly. He led her away from the pavilion and down one of the lantern-lit walks.
They strolled along the Grand Walk and when they turned into a narrower walk they discovered a beautiful waterfall in a bucolic country setting and lit by strategically placed lights. This was the famous cascade.
‘It really does look like water,’ she said in amazement, knowing full well it was a mechanical display. ‘And sounds like it, too. Oh, and the water wheel actually turns. How wonderful. How very clever.’
For a full ten minutes they watched as the water cascaded down into a pool and mechanical people, carriages and wagons crossed over a bridge.
She was so wrapped up in the spectacle that it was a while before she glanced up at Damian to see his reaction. He was looking at her with an odd expression on his face.
‘It is quite marvellous, isn’t it?’ she said.
He smiled. ‘Yes. Marvellous.’
Why did she have the feeling he wasn’t talking about the mechanical wonder before them?
The performance came to an end and curtains painted with a country scene closed over the tableau.
‘That was lovely,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’
‘There is more.’
They crossed to the South Walk to admire the triumphal arches. As they walked, the sound of music once more floated across the gardens.
They wandered in the opposite direction admiring the statues, groves and piazzas as they went.
At the end of the South Walk the lanterns ended, though the walk continued to the right and left.
‘The infamous dark walk,’ Damian said.
‘Infamous?’
He chuckled, led her a short way along the walk where the trees seemed to close over them and she could barely see a hand in front of her face. He pulled her close and kissed her.
Deeply, sweetly and somehow full of longing.
Carried away on his passion, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
Finally, he drew back, his breathing heavy, his voice husky. ‘You see? Infamous.’
She laughed at his nonsense. ‘I think it is you who is infamous. The walk is quite innocent.’
He tipped her chin with a fingertip. ‘I wish you were wrong.’
She frowned and peered at his expression, but already he was leading her back to the lit path.
When they returned to the grove, a waiter handed them glasses of champagne and the singer performed for them once more.
‘One last dance, my darling girl, and then we must go.’
‘One more,’ she agreed.
One turned into two and then three. And then it really was time to leave.
They strolled hand in hand back to their waiting carriage.
‘I think that is the best evening of my life,’ Pamela said, when they climbed aboard and she was wrapped in his arms.
‘I am glad,’ Damian murmured against her hair. ‘You deserve it. I—’
She waited for him to finish.
‘I wish I could do more,’ he said finally.
‘You have done a great deal for me,’ she said. ‘I cannot believe I made enough money to actually buy a house so close to the shore. It is a dream come true. And it is all thanks to you. I shall never forget your kindness.’
‘You may not think that way, once we part,’ he said. ‘But I hope, in time, you will remember this evening with some sort of pleasure.’
His voice was full of regret.
‘I don’t understand.’
‘You will.’
Back at the town house, he escorted her upstairs and they made love, slowly and with great tenderness.
She realised as he got up and left her room that this had been his way of saying goodbye.
She tried not to cry.
But eventually, she had to turn her pillow over, it was so damp.
As the next few days passed, and the ball drew ever closer, Damian found himself in his study, supposedly working on his wine inventory, but pondering how Pamela was going to react to the upcoming unmasking.
He had seen her expression of anxiety when her mother had approached them in Hyde Park. And he could not help but admire the way she had straightened her shoulders and met the other woman’s gaze head on.
Pamela had backbone. And the thought of what he was about to do to her was niggling at his conscience day and night.
Especially at night, when she lay sweetly in his arms. She trusted him. And he was about to destroy that and more.
He kept telling himself that his plan would not affect her as badly as how her father’s actions had affected his family. She had no interest in remaining in society. It was her mother and stepfather who stood to lose the most.
Her mother would feel the sting of the ton’s wagging tongues and would certainly not be welcome in society for a very long time, if at all.
And nor would Damian, of course.
It wasn’t that society would care that he had a mistress—what they cared about was that they had been duped by him and by her and her family.
Pamela would, of course never speak to him again. And nor did he deserve that she should.
Next Thursday would be the end of the Earl of Dart’s rule of London. The end of Rake Hell.
And he would walk away whistling.
The only fly in the ointment was Camargue’s sudden appearance in the park.
Camargue had apparently been surprised to discover someone using a title that had been thought to have gone into abeyance and had hotfooted it to London to meet the new Earl—something Damian had not been expecting, since the old fellow hadn’t left his castle for ten years or more.
Camargue been strangely pleased to think the title had found a successor and had begun talking in earnest of plans for the future for their adjacent lands.
Damian hadn’t had the heart to inform the old man he had no intention of actually going to Parliament to substantiate his claim to his father’s title and that instead he and Pip would be off to the Americas.
The butler knocked on the door and announced, ‘The Right Honourable Mr Long.’
Surprised, Damian leaned back in his chair. ‘Long,’ he said, ignoring the young man’s outstretched hand, except to notice it was trembling. ‘I was not expecting you, was I?’
‘Perhaps you should have been,’ Long said with more force than Damian would have expected.
‘How can I be of assistance?’ Damian drawled, gesturing to the seat in front of the desk.
Long sat. ‘It is about the vowels of mine you hold.’
Damian frowned. ‘Yes.’
‘I heard from one of my friends that you let him pay his debts off at a heavy discount.’ He smiled shyly. ‘I would like to do the same. I admit I got in way over my head, but I have stopped gaming now that...’ he blushed ‘...now that I am about to be married. I would like to pay off my debts at the same discount you offered my friend. I believe I can do it over the next three months, if you will allow me the time.’
This was exactly what Damian had been planning. He leaned back and shook his head slowly. ‘You clearly do not recall the terms of our agreement. The club manager refused to accept any more vowels from you and I personally loaned you the money with which to play. Are you now saying you will go back on your word to pay me back in full?’
‘Oh, but, surely the club and you are the same thing?’ His voice had risen a notch. A note of panic.
‘Not at all. You borrowed from me personally, not the Rake Hell. It is a debt of honour. I have your vowels.’
‘I have to pay the full amount?’ He sounded completely shocked.
‘Of course.’
‘I—oh. I see.’ His voice shook, but he straightened his shoulders. ‘I assume you will give me time?’
‘One is expected to redeem one’s vowels in short order,’ Damian said. ‘But I can wait a day or two. After all, we are friends, are we not?’ He smiled benignly. ‘Naturally, since it is a debt between gentleman, I won’t be charging you any interest on the delay.’
The young man’s face blanched. ‘Thank you. A day or two?’ He sounded breathless. ‘Yes. Yes of course.’
‘The day of my ball will do. You are coming, of course.’
He looked frozen, but managed to speak. ‘Yes. Miss Frome is looking forward to it immensely.
‘Wonderful. I shall look forward to meeting her again.’
Long hurried off.
No doubt he would be scurrying around town, trying to find someone to loan him the money to pay Damian off.
A gentleman’s debts of honour must be paid before any others. If they were not, a man could not hold up his head. He would become persona non grata.
The way his father had.
But there wasn’t a money lender in London who would give Long the amount of money he needed. Damian had seen to it personally.
Damian, frowned. Why didn’t seeing the culmination of all his plans gradually unfold make him feel good?
Nonsense. He was delighted. This was exactly what he wanted.
On her way downstairs, Pamela was surprised to see Mr Long in the hall by the front door putting on his coat.
‘Good day,’ she said. ‘What brings you here so early?’
‘Mrs Clark.’ He bowed. ‘I am here about some business with His Lordship,’ he choked out. His expression was distraught, almost tearful.
‘Is something wrong?’
‘I owe His Lordship a great deal of money and I do not know how I am going to pay.’
Puzzled, she frowned. She had thought Damian had resolved all of those issues at the club. ‘Oh, I see.’
He squeezed his eyes shut for a second. ‘I was a fool to allow myself to fall into debt. I have very little time to come up with the money. Excuse me.’ He grabbed his hat, bowed and left.
Determined to get to the bottom of his obvious upset, Pamela made her way to Dart’s study and entered without knocking.
The dog lying beside the hearth wagged its tail in greeting.
Damian withdrew his gaze from the view from the window into the street and it settled on her face. ‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning. I just met Mr Long on his way out. Apparently he owes a great deal of money.’
‘Indeed he does.’ He seemed completely unperturbed. ‘He was absolutely sure his luck would change, despite my assurance it would not.’
‘He is little more than a boy.’
Damian’s face hardened. ‘I doubt he would thank you for that descriptor.’
‘Can you not come to some sort of arrangement? As the club did with some of the others?’
‘My dealings with Mr Long are really none of your business.’
She recoiled, shocked at his harsh tone of voice.
‘As a part-owner in the club—’
‘You have no say in the matter. The club refused to accept any more of his vowels. As you yourself requested, I might add. He borrowed my money. Begged me to lend it to him. It is a debt of honour.’
The words struck like blows. She had never heard him speak so harshly.
‘Do not look at me like that, Pamela. I cannot afford to let it go. Am I to be ruined to save him?’
How had she been looking at him? ‘How can him not paying his debt land you in ruin?’
‘How do you think I came up with such a large sum of money?’
‘From the club?’
‘Please. Do you think I would go behind my partners’ backs and lend money that had already been refused?’
She frowned. ‘You borrowed it?’
‘Exactly.’
She sat down. ‘Oh, my good Lord. Is it a really large sum of money?’
‘Some might call it a king’s ransom. Forgiving would leave me horrendously in debt.’
Her stomach fell away. ‘Why would you do such a thing?’
‘He asked me.’
She frowned. ‘There is no possible way he asked you for such an enormous amount of money.’
‘He was in debt already. He owed money all over town. He thought it would be better to consolidate his debt. He begged me to help him. The young fool needs to learn a lesson.’
The vengeful note in his voice sent a spike of fear down her spine. ‘I think he has learned his lesson. And surely you knew when he borrowed the money that it was far more than he could ever repay.’
Eyes cold as ice, he shrugged. ‘He said he could. I took him at his word.’
For the first time in a long time, he was shutting her out. Hiding something. And she did not like this version of Damian one bit.
‘You want to hurt him.’ The words shot out of her mouth before she could think about them. They were instinctive. A sense that he was doing this on purpose.
She waited for his scathing outburst at her accusation.
And waited.
He merely looked bored. ‘What do you think gives you the right to take me to task about a matter of honour?’
The remark cut deep as she realised that he was implying she had no honour so therefore how could she judge.
She glared at him. ‘I know the difference between right and wrong.’
‘Do you? I wonder. I hope you will excuse me, I have a meeting at my club.’
He got up and walked out of the room with the dog trailing behind him.
She paced across the room and stared out of the window, down into the street. She heard the front door close. Watched him saunter down the street without a care in the world. Her head hurt. But worse than that, her heart hurt.
Damian, who she knew as kind and generous, was showing not a scrap of mercy to poor young Mr Long.
Why on earth would Damian have let himself get into debt for the sake of someone else? There must be some reason he had loaned such vast sums of money.
On the other hand, Damian had given him time to pay when he could have asked for it back immediately. But apparently now he would wait no longer. Men were strange creatures with regard to their honour and vowels and all that nonsense.
Perhaps Mr Long could borrow it elsewhere and pay Damian back.
She thought she’d been helping Mr Long when she told Pip to stop accepting his vowels. Instead he had gone to Damian for a personal loan.
What a disaster.
And it was partly her fault.
There had to be something she could do to help. She could give him her share of the money she had earned. Her stomach fell away. It would be the end of her dream of a cottage by the sea.
But would it be enough?
And would his honour allow him to accept her offer? She had to at least try.
The first thing she needed to do was find out where Mr Long lived. She couldn’t actually call on him, but she could send him a note asking him to meet her somewhere.
As long as she had her maid with her and it looked like a chance meeting, there shouldn’t be any problem.
It took longer than she expected to arrange a meeting with Mr Long. But finally he had replied that, yes, he would meet her at the British Museum in the room devoted to the Elgin Marbles. She had always wanted to see them, so she had decided she might as well accomplish two things at once.
And as she sat on a seat amid the statues and friezes, she was very glad she had. It was awe inspiring to know that these stones had been carved so long ago. How sad that they had suffered so much damage. Surrounded by them, she could almost imagine herself cast back to ancient times.
‘Mrs Clark.’
Mr Long looked as if he hadn’t slept or eaten since she saw him last. He seated himself beside her. There were a few other people walking around the room inspecting the statues, but no one within earshot.
‘Mr Long. Good day. Thank you for agreeing to meet me.’
‘I am sorry I did not get your note right away. I went out of Town. To Newmarket.’
Her stomach gave a little flip of dismay. ‘Newmarket?’
‘There was a horse. A sure thing, I was told.’
‘And?’
She waited for the worst.
‘It won.’
‘You mean you are solvent again? You can repay your debt?’
‘Some of it.’
‘Although I cannot entirely feel comfortable about you taking such a risk, I suppose it is good news.’
He shook his head. ‘His Lordship seemed determined I should pay the full amount. Perhaps with a partial payment I can convince him to wait. If not... Do you think you can put a good word in with him for me?’
Damian had told her to mind her own business. ‘I can try. I am not sure he will listen. Can you not ask your father for help?’
‘My father is experiencing some financial difficulties of his own.’ His shoulders slumped. ‘I will have to leave the country if it becomes known I reneged on a debt of honour.’
‘I don’t understand.’
He groaned. ‘I will be beyond the pale. Blackballed. Even my family will turn their backs on me. And no doubt they will also be affected by the scandal.’
‘Oh, dear. How much can you pay back?’
‘A little over half.’
‘Very well. I will speak to Lord Dart on your behalf.’
He took her hand and kissed it. ‘Will you indeed? I am in your debt for ever.’
‘I think it best that from now on you do not owe anything to anyone.’
He groaned. ‘I won’t. I still don’t understand how I could have been so foolish.’