Chapter 21 #5
“Fine,” I snapped, heat flaring recklessly. Nobody was here to see me breaking the Ludaryn rules. I would show him. I would play his game. If all he wanted was lust, then I would take something from him and leave him wanting when I fled tonight.
I grabbed his shoulder, expecting resistance, expecting movement, but he remained utterly still, solid as stone, daring me without a single word. The challenge in it made my pulse stutter.
It was one thing for him to pursue me, to take what he wanted while I yielded and burned beneath it, like at the market or during Carnis Noctyra.
This was different. I was stepping forward.
Choosing to take. A flicker of shyness stirred, but I crushed it just as quickly. I wasn’t that woman anymore.
I rose onto my toes, slid my hand up to his neck, and dragged his face down to mine, pressing my mouth to his in a clumsy, defiant kiss. He didn’t respond. Didn’t move. I didn’t care. His facade wouldn’t last.
I traced his lips with my tongue, slow and testing, demanding entry, wanting him to open so we could clash properly. When he still refused, frustration surged. I bit down on his lower lip, hard enough to sting, tugging it between my teeth.
That did it.
His pupils blew wide. A low growl tore from his chest as he snapped, hands suddenly everywhere as he hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, a silent prayer flickering through me that we wouldn’t be interrupted again.
He took my mouth with brutal intent, his tongue plunging deep as he claimed the kiss fully, leaving no doubt who held control now. I moaned into him, meeting his force, refusing to yield even as he demanded it. I rocked against him, shameless, feeling him harden beneath me.
This wasn’t merely desire. It was a challenge.
Heat coiled low anyway, slick and insistent, my breath breaking into uneven pants as the kiss turned rougher, deeper, consuming.
His hand caught the leather at my throat and dragged it down, baring my breasts to the cool forest air. His gaze followed at once, slow and hungry, a low groan slipping from him as he took me in. My nipples hardened underneath his stare and I lifted my chin, challenging him.
“You offer your throat like you already know who it belongs to,” he murmured. The words brushed against my skin before his mouth followed—slow bites along my neck, soothed by the drag of his tongue as he worked lower.
“Fuck you,” I snarled.
He slammed me against a tree, the impact knocking the breath from my lungs as his hands locked hard at my hips, pulling me against him.
“Shut your mouth before I give it something better to do.”
My fingers tightened in his hair, dragging his head back as I bit his throat in answer. A feral groan tore from him, carrying more anger than pleasure.
My back pressed hard into the bark, the canopy was thick overhead, hiding us from the world.
One large hand cupped my breast, rough and possessive, and something inside me slipped—just slightly. I tried to hold onto the edge I had, but it faltered.
He bent forward, his mouth closing over me as he alternated between bites and slow, wet strokes of his tongue, his other hand kneading me with relentless pressure.
I panted, fingers digging into his shoulders, still pushing back—but losing ground.
He lifted his head, his eyes dark, blown wide with want.
“I can smell you,” he said, voice rough. “You’re soaked. Desperate.”
His hand left my breast.
“Take what you want from me,” he growled.
I grabbed his face and dragged his mouth back to mine, kissing him hard, hungry, as I rocked against him, refusing to let him order me uncontested.
He turned us with ease and sank down against the tree, pulling me into his lap.
I straddled him, my chest bare, his erection large and thick beneath me through the leather. He ground me against it—slow at first, then harder, the friction relentless. My head tipped back as I gasped, the pleasure rising, tightening, impossible to ignore.
“That’s it, little Bondward. Your body already belongs to me. ”
One hand pressed against my sternum, forcing me to arch my back as his other drove me harder against him, taking control of every movement.
I tried to resist it—to reclaim some shred of composure—but every thrust of his hips dragged another helpless sound from me.
The last of my resistance broke. I groaned and moved with him, grinding against him, my breath breaking, his body guiding mine. I met his eyes. His expression was unreadable, intent, and it pulled at something deep in me, tightening the invisible tether between us.
“I control your pleasure,” he murmured, thrusting upward as he drove me down.
My eyes closed in rapture. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stop. Even through the layers between us, he drove me higher than I thought possible.
I was losing this.
“Eyes on me.”
I obeyed.
“I control your pain.”
He twisted my nipple sharply. I gasped, the sensation searing as it fused with the heat building inside me.
“Oh goddess—” The words broke from me as I climbed. Higher. Faster.
Then his hand slid upward, curling around my throat, applying enough pressure to remind me of his claim while the other remained locked at my hip, driving me against him.
“Let go.”
I tried to hold it—just for a second longer—but I couldn’t.
I broke.
I cried out as my body locked tight around him, pleasure crashing through me hard enough to steal the air from my lungs.
I clung to him instinctively, grinding helplessly against the firm line of him while his hand remained at my throat, holding me exactly where he wanted me.
The contrast undid me completely—his restraint against my unraveling, the relentless pressure of his hand at my hip, the way he guided every movement even as my body lost rhythm beneath the force of it.
By the time it eased, I was barely holding myself upright. I sagged against him, breath ragged, skin flushed, my limbs trembling in the aftermath. Slowly, I lifted my head. He looked composed. Controlled. As though I hadn’t shaken him at all.
But his chest rose and fell heavily beneath me, and his erection remained hard against me—proof enough.
“I’ve never… felt anything like that,” I breathed.
He leaned in, his mouth brushing close. “You did good.”
I closed my eyes as the praise sent a shudder through me. I felt both spent and hollow, satisfaction tangled with an aching emptiness, my body still pulsing with the aftershocks, clenching rhythmically as though it hadn’t quite caught up with what had already passed.
He rose to his feet, then pulled me up with him, his hands firm. His gaze dropped briefly to my bare chest before he adjusted himself in his trousers, already reclaiming that infuriating composure, as if what had passed between us was nothing more than a moment he could pocket and dismiss at will.
“This will be all for now.” His tone remained calm.
I froze. “Excuse me?” I said as I crossed my arms over myself, covering my breasts, more insulted than exposed. “What do you mean this will be all? You don’t get to take what you want and then dismiss me like I’m—”
“Take what I want?” he cut in. “Look at you.” He took his time looking me over. “I allowed you to take what you wanted. Nothing more.”
He stepped closer again, close enough that I had to tilt my head, his presence pressing in without touching. “That,” he continued, “was a taste. Nothing more. It’s all you’ll get until you stop fighting what you already know you want.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he wasn’t finished.
“I don’t offer pieces. I don’t indulge in half-measures. You submit to me, fully, or you make do with wanting.” His mouth curved. “Consider this mercy.”
The forest seemed to hold its breath around us as he stepped back, leaving me standing there flushed, furious, and aching—more affected than I cared to admit.
I dragged my leathers back into place and turned my back on him.
I felt exposed for a moment before fury crowded everything else out.
I stomped off in the direction Kharos had gone, leaving him behind without a glance.
I was done with him. He didn’t get to treat me like this and expect me to come crawling back.
It had been mind-blowing. Eye-opening in a way I hadn’t anticipated. But that didn’t excuse anything. I shouldn’t have expected more. Shouldn’t have expected kindness in the aftermath. I knew nothing about him beyond what he chose to show, and what he showed now was a beast without manners.
A low, amused laugh rumbled behind me. Indignation surged through me, stinging as I wiped at the moisture gathering in my eyes. Tears—not from sadness, but from anger too fierce to keep contained.
I pressed my hand against my ear, trying to dull the raging fire within my piercing. It had started to dull around him, but now the inferno returned. I was starting to feel like it had something to do with my body trusting him, and he’d shattered that trust now. But I couldn’t be sure.
I’d experienced something with him that I’d been withholding myself from for twenty-one years, and this was how he answered it.
I’d wanted to show him what it would be like with me.
To give him a mere taste before I’d escape.
And to prove to myself I could remain in control with him and feel nothing more.
But now it felt like he’d been the one to prove a point. He’d won.
I spotted Kharos ahead, stretched against a tree trunk, grooming lazily, and headed for him without slowing.
As I drew closer, he rose to his feet, watching me with open amusement, as if he knew exactly what had passed between his warrior and me.
I would find no sympathy there. He resembled Thanor too closely for that.
I walked past him instead, nearly catching my foot on a knot of roots. I still needed the damn noctyra blossoms. Thanor had said they grew where the canopy thinned, deeper in the forest, but I didn’t know the way.