Chapter 2 #2
Shadi turned, her skirt swaying with her hips. Her bared back muscles pulsed with movement, and the beads surrounding both wrists clicked in time with her arm swings.
Kai gave her wife a look she hoped conveyed everything she felt: the apology, the forgiveness, the understanding, the helplessness.
Fala nodded and released their hands. Go, she mouthed, and then she greeted Doli. To Shadi’s irritation, Doli was quite fond and accepting of Fala. Tse, too, had accepted Kai’s wife, though he was more mindful of Shadi’s feelings.
Tse put an arm over Kai’s shoulders and turned her toward the tunnels. “Come,” he said. “I will walk with you.”
They strode behind Shadi, who was already well into the walkway lined with torchlight.
“Do you know what this is about?” she asked her father.
“The Eternal One tells us nothing, not even your mother. She answers only to the gods.”
They passed one of many wolves carved into the stone, all half-eroded by time.
Kai trailed her fingers along the grooves of cold stone. “Mother must have an idea.”
“She is as anxious as you.” Tse’s hand swallowed hers, and he gave her a comforting squeeze. “Between you and I, I believe she fears the Eternal One wishes to prepare you to take on the role of Grand Matriarch. Shadi wonders if her death approaches, and she is not ready to leave this world.”
Kai let out a chuffing laugh. “She is too stubborn to leave us. Mother will live forever.”
Tse kissed two of his fingers and then sent the gesture up to the gods.
“What do you think?” she asked. Her father had a strong intuition. It wasn’t always clear, but he was rarely wrong.
“The winds stir. Change is on the horizon unlike any we’ve seen in our lifetime.”
“That’s quite a leap, even for you.”
“Is it?” he asked, his tan skin brightening with the approach of an anchored torch. “The recent interruption in trade has done more damage than anyone anticipated. Action will be required.”
Heat filled Kai’s cheeks. Months ago, Orestis Vidalatos, the king of Perean, made moves that involved one of their more important trade contracts.
Immediately after, an offer to restore the contract came with a caveat: a request by the king of Perean for one of Shadi’s daughters’ hands in marriage.
The answer had been a swift, scoffing no.
Now that the king was dead, Eslodel still had Perean’s naval support, and Yiria was without a major food supplier. Shadi would never let the slight stand, and something would be done. Kai just wasn’t sure what.
“Mother must live,” Kai said. “If for no other reason than to right the wrongs committed by that mediocre king. She is the only one who can.”
“You speak as if she were the only capable one. She is not.”
“You then. I am certainly not knowledgeable or strong enough to fix our problems.”
Tse stopped and faced her. He raised her chin. “Brightest Star, you are meant to dim all other lights, yet you dim only yours.”
Goosebumps rose along her skin despite the hot and humid temperature. “I appreciate your faith in me. Sometimes, when you speak, I almost believe you.”
He tapped his forehead against hers. “If I must, I will say it a million times a day until you do.”
Ahead, Shadi must have sensed their trailing pause because she turned and hooked her hands to her hips. “Must you two always talk so much?”
“Yes,” Tse said, lengthening to his full towering height. “Actions cannot do all the work of expression alone.” He winked at Kai, then led her to Shadi’s side. “You two go on. I will escort Doli home.”
The women watched Tse take the sloping tunnel back up.
Kai broke the silence. “He says you’re worried.”
Shadi avoided her stare and continued her previous pace down the tunnel. “I’m always worried. Come.”
Kai fell into step beside her. “He also mentioned our fallen trade agreement. Can I help?”
“The council and I are handling it.”
Frustration sparked in her chest. “I worry about our people as much as you. You can confide in me.”
“In the coming days, I will need your support. In the meantime, I will not give you another reason to excuse yourself from the mating ceremony.”
Kai stopped. “I am not ready.”
Shadi finally turned, her gaze unreadable. Finally, she said, “Few of us ever are.”
“I refuse to accept that the path of all Matriarchs is my only choice. That this—your version of a life—is who I must be.”
“And who would you abdicate your place to? Who would you relinquish power to?”
“Sitsi—”
Shadi was already shaking her head. “Sitsi is first of Doli and not of my bloodline.”
“And yet she is more like you than any of us. She would lead our people as you envision.”
Shadi sighed. “I should not have to keep explaining this to you.”
“I could say the same to you. I am a warrior. I am wife of Fala. I will happily give my blood in battle if you will it, but I cannot give my body to a male or the offspring that would come of such a union.”
“Kai—”
“You are the Grand Matriarch.” Quiet desperation leaked into Kai’s tone. “Say it is so, and it will be.”
Maybe this time her mother would see her. Not her legacy…her daughter. Maybe this time, Shadi would say the words Kai needed most: “You’re enough as you are.”
Shadi’s shoulders sank, and she cupped Kai’s face. For a breathless moment, softness lit her eyes. “Daughter,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. The Eternal One—”
Shadi lowered her hands. Took a step away. “The gods have already spoken.”
Kai bowed her head. Not in obedience. Not in faith.
Only to hide the splintering of her heart.