Chapter 4 #2
The Eternal One swept a hand outward and stared into the space. “You see this room as it is. The mountain stone and the carvings. You don’t see beyond it to the winding corridors and great rooms and personal lodgings and bathing pools. And so much more.
“This temple and everything else have existed for centuries, and many have stood here before us and lived very different lives. Soyala forgets how someone like you only sees this room while someone like me sees the whole mountain. And she, sometimes to her detriment, sees the entire continent.”
“What is it I’m not seeing in Soyala’s message?”
She smiled. “The gods expect much from you. However, there is concern over a particular situation that could lead to distraction.”
“I don’t let distractions take root.”
“You are tortured by the idea of a male in your home.”
Kai’s breath froze, and her eyelids fluttered. “For good reason.”
“Trust comes very easily to you, except in this one area of your life. You trust your father, Tse. Your mothers, Shadi and Doli. You have faith in the warriors at your side. And Fala, of course.”
“My wife, I trust more than anyone,” Kai said. “Fala holds me in the palm of her hand every day. She will not let me fall. She will not let me be crushed.”
“But she does not have to do that alone, and you would refuse a husband to offer her that opportunity. Why?”
“You listed all those I trust, but did you notice there was only one male?”
“I did.”
“My father would never have been taken in by—” Heat scorched through every nerve, burning away her oxygen. She struggled to find her next breath. “Those males would have killed every youngling until we had only the essential number required to continue breeding.”
“They failed in the end.”
“They underestimated our warriors. Our females.”
The Eternal One nodded. “There will always be those few who don’t understand or appreciate how our society is structured—male and female. They fail to see the truth—our women continue to birth more females. It is not as if they have the power to choose.”
“You choose for us,” Kai pointed out. “You pair us with this very intention, do you not?”
“Not always. Some have chosen on their own the way you and Fala have. The rest are paired to ensure our people don’t vanish, and as we continue, we maintain a level of strength that goes unquestioned by the world at large. I only wish to ensure our survival. Even you must agree that’s important.”
The Eternal One wasn’t saying anything Kai didn’t already know. She understood the logic behind it. Just not the absence of free will when someone was so adamantly against it. “Why me? Why now?”
“Why not you? Why not Fala?” She squeezed Kai’s knee. “You are ready for a husband, whether you choose to believe it or not. And I encourage you to take your time. The fiercest bonds are forged slowly, tempered by patience, made unbreakable by heat.”
“I still don’t quite follow what taking a husband means in Soyala’s grand plan for me.”
“Those we allow into our lives are integral to our choices. We learn from them, for better or worse. When you arrived today, it was with dread in your heart. It’s consumed you for days. Weeks, even.”
“Yes, that’s true. I’m…hesitant.” She swallowed the lump building in her throat. “I’m not ready to accept a strange man into my home, let alone my bed.”
“We—Soyala and I—needed you to hear otherwise. She does not exaggerate the importance of your path. A choice will need to be made, and who you have at your side—who you trust—will be imperative.”
“And how I handle this one man in my life matters? He’s one person. What difference does it make?”
A small smile lifted the Eternal One’s lips. “At present, you see yourself and Fala and the peace of your home. You know its corners and smells and can probably walk through it blind.”
“Yes.”
“Look beyond what your home is now to what’s possible beyond.
He will be a stranger to you at first, yes, but if you’re open, he can be so much more.
The full effect of his presence might surprise you.
” She swept her arm into the temple again.
“He could be corridors and great rooms and personal lodgings and bathing pools you never imagined existing.” She leaned close and whispered as if they were conspiring against someone.
“Dare to imagine he might make all the difference in your choices going forward.”
The point wrapped Kai in a tight fist. One person’s experience and viewpoint could make a world of difference. Wasn’t choosing Fala as her wife one such example? Kai waited patiently for her mother to finally see that marrying outside the clan didn’t harm their lifestyle at all, but enriched it.
Kai tried again to imagine letting a male into her home, offering him comfort and a meal. A smile and conversation.
The very thought curdled, rot in sweet water. Not fear. Revulsion. She was not a hearth to warm a male’s cold hands.
“I think I understand your point,” Kai said. “But I—” She stood and prepared to leave, her jaw aching with renewed clenching. “I can’t.”
The Eternal One’s voice came almost like a hand desperate to keep her still. “Let him help you.”
Kai paused at the staircase entrance and gripped the cold stone wall. “If you choose to name a male for us this week, I will refuse him. I will not let him into my home or my world. There will be no one to influence me and my decisions.”
“Kai—”
“No.” Kai stared into the darkness ahead. “Tell your seer to ready her gods. I’ll ready my warriors.” She began her descent. “If it’s my focus she wants, she’ll have it.”