Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
Selene entered a cloud of seasoned smoke and grilled fish just as several fishermen laughed, conversing with the man grilling seafood over an open flame, exchanging their coins for a hearty meal.
Her stomach rumbled, but the ache went deeper than hunger.
She needed more than a warm meal—she needed answers.
Not ten steps later, she ducked and spun around a man who was part of a row of dock workers tossing lightweight crates between each other. The crates originated in a skiff and ended up on a growing stack on the far side of the pier.
Safe on the other side, she sought the Entia across the water.
The sun was beginning to set, turning the bay cerulean as the sky itself caught fire in layers of red, orange, and yellow.
Cassia’s ship anchored in that middle ground of the white horizon, almost daring the sea and sky to see her as anything other than the threat she was.
Augustus had been aboard the Entia most of the day with no sign of returning anytime soon. Given what she’d just learned, Selene couldn’t wait. She had to talk to him.
A jostle to the shoulder brought Selene back to the bustling docks and the young Perean woman she’d brushed too closely.
“Apologies, miss,” the young woman said, giving Selene a warm smile as she proceeded around the dock workers.
“My fault,” Selene murmured, struck by a sudden surge of emotion and utterly fixated on the woman’s slightly rounded belly. In the depths of her chest—in her very soul—a profound connection intertwined with the burgeoning life.
Noi.
All the breath left Selene’s chest. She’d felt it for weeks now—a strange pull toward Perean’s expectant mothers. All of them at the same stage, as if something beneath the surface had whispered it into their wombs at once.
This particular young woman was no different.
So why did it feel like her friend was right here?
Impossible. Noi was dead. Selene had knelt beside her as she lay dying. Her blood pooling on those gold-veined temple floors.
“Don’t worry about me. Panos is waiting. He’s already here. See?”
Hot tears pricked Selene’s eyes. Was it possible—?
No. She refused to believe Noi wasn’t with Panos in the Valley.
Selene and Augustus were the only two souls reincarnating in Perean. No one else. Nothing had changed.
“Are you all right?” Felix asked. The pirate’s sheer size cast her in a complete shadow. His tunic sleeves were rolled to damned near his shoulders, accentuating the size of his substantial biceps.
Selene shook free of her thoughts. “Just thinking about Noi. I miss her.”
Pavle, who had only been steps behind Felix, frowned and nodded understanding. He didn’t talk much—if at all— thanks to losing his tongue during the torture inflicted while a slave in the Tineian Empire.
Felix followed Selene’s stare to the pregnant woman who was now passing the grilled fish. “That woman made you think of Noi?”
She understood his confusion. Noi hadn’t been pregnant, nor had she been Perean. She’d been a tiny, fierce pirate with black hair and dark eyes. “Yes and no. I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”
Felix smiled and cupped her shoulder. “No need to. Sometimes grief walks in wearing a different face.”
Pavle pointed at the water and said something to Felix about the tide. Selene was beginning to understand him better, but not very well.
Felix didn’t have any problems translating. “Tide will be turning soon.”
If they had to row against it, it would take them twice as long to reach the ship.
Selene stared across the water again, heavier than before. She needed to talk to Augustus, but now…
She looked down the docks—the woman was gone now. Selene could probably catch up…
And say what? I think your baby is a reincarnation of my friend. That was ridiculous, even considering how true it was for her and Augustus.
No, she had to focus on the path ahead. Augustus and the mysterious people on the Trayterre Isles. That, at least, was a mystery they could solve together.
Lili greeted Selene at the top of the ladder and helped her over the side. Climbing that ladder was the first time Selene regretted her lack of pause in getting here—she should have changed out of the dress.
“What brings you here?” Lili asked.
Selene glanced around the empty deck as Felix and Pavle boarded behind her. “I needed a change in scenery. Where is he?”
“Captain’s quarters.” Lili bit her lip. “He’s been in there a while. I kind of pushed him into it since—you know—he can only avoid them for so long. Now I’m wondering if I did the right thing.”
“Why—?” Selene clapped her mouth shut as the full truth hit her.
The quarters had belonged to Cassia.
Had Augustus not entered them until now? Why? And why hadn’t he talked to her about any of this? On that matter, why hadn’t he talked to her about anything to do with his mother?
“Is Augustus all right?” she asked.
Lili’s dark brows drew together. “That’s not a good sign if you are asking me.”
No, it wasn’t. “He’s been having nightmares, but he won’t talk to me about them. I don’t know why. I keep hoping he’ll finally open up to me.”
“He’s not taking Cassia’s death very well. You should make him talk, though. This isn’t good for him.”
Selene nodded. “Thank you, Lili.”
The captain’s quarters were always in the same general area on every ship, so she had no trouble locating them. She paused outside the door, suddenly unsure who she’d find inside. She’d been learning all the facets of Augustus for months, knowing just by a mere look what sort of mood he was in.
All but one.
The one who startled out of nightmares he wouldn’t explain, that she was only now realizing had to do with Cassia. And now this…? There was an entire side of the man she loved who was a stranger to her.
She hovered near the door, palm flat against the wood. What if this pushed him further away? What if the one part of him he refused to share stayed locked away forever?
Did it matter? She would always be there for him, and there would never be a time she didn’t remind him of that.
Straightening and taking a steadying breath, she quietly pushed inside.
Augustus sat in the open terrace doorway, his back to the jamb and arms braced across upturned knees. He stared across the water as the breeze fluttered through his loose brown waves.
Selene rooted to the spot as a fissure cracked through her heart. A few weeks ago, she’d entered the kitchens for the first time and sat inside the pantry for hours just staring at the small table where she and her mother used to talk for hours.
The scene she faced now wasn’t unlike that.
Only she’d gone there to remember. He’d stayed away to forget. And still, neither of them had found peace.
Selene immediately shelved all her reasons for coming. “Oh, Augustus.”
Augustus flinched and started to look at her, but stopped partway and stared at the ground instead. His voice cracked as he spoke. “What are you doing here?”
Her steps whispered across a square of thick carpet, then clicked across the boards on the other side of the massive desk.
Augustus turned red-rimmed eyes up to her. “I was getting ready to head back.”
“There’s no rush.”
Selene lowered and mirrored his position on the opposite jamb. The breeze shaped her silk skirt to her thigh and made loose strands of hair tickle her cheeks. She intertwined his booted legs with her sandaled feet, to which he immediately closed ranks around them, twisting their ankles together.
After a deep inhale of the salty air, she released a sigh. Out on the water was a whole other world, quiet and vast. All these months on land had made her forget. “It’s peaceful out here.”
He nodded but frowned toward the bay.
She didn’t want to push him, but she sensed how tightly he was already closing those doors. “Augustus.”
A smirk flashed. “Selene.” Belatedly, his blue and brown eyes found hers. “I’m not ready to talk about it.”
“I know. I wish you would, though. It doesn’t have to be everything all at once. Just…something.”
He scrubbed at his jaw, then let his head fall back to bang against the wood jamb.
“I can’t keep the ship. I’ve been going back and forth about it for hours, guilty, then resolute.
It’s only a ship; if I keep it, I don’t have to waste time and coin on a new build for us.
But…” He glanced deep into the room. “She’s everywhere I look, and I can’t live with her ghost.”
“I understand.”
He gave her a weak smile. “I know you do.”
“What’s the plan, then? I know you have one.”
Augustus spent the next few minutes telling her how he intended to return the Entia to the fleet currently docked in Warian Bay. In the meantime, he’d already sent a special request to a man named Taran Phya for a new build.
“Komera?” Selene asked once he’d revealed their future ship’s name. “For the Goddess of Battle? Are we going to war?”
“No.” His eyes twinkled. “Well, I don’t anticipate any.”
She laughed. “Sure you don’t.”
Augustus stretched over their legs and took her hands. He pulled her across the space to straddle his lap, holding tight to her hips. His nose circled hers. “I want our life to be what you imagine it to be. Nothing more, nothing less.”
She cupped his bristly chin. “What about what you want?”
He pulled her closer. “I only want you. I only need you.”
“I only need you, too, but lately… It feels like you’re somewhere I can’t reach. What has you so afraid? What dark things are seeping into your dreams every night?”
His fingers dug deep into her hips, almost to the point of pain, and his eyelids squeezed shut. “Selene, please.”
Selene’s heart broke all over again. She understood the loss of a mother to a violent end, but, unlike her, he’d witnessed Cassia’s death. That was a level of understanding beyond hers.