Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
Augustus wanted to set sail on the Entia the moment they reached Okos, but exhaustion anchored them to shore. No one fought it. Not after what they’d been through. They needed sleep and proper baths.
Rooms were acquired in the city—not the best, but better than what the ship could accommodate.
The stone walls had only a single, narrow window to allow sunlight through, and the dark wooden beams added a faint perfume of cedar and smoke that mingled with the tang of salty air drifting up from the docks.
Straw mattresses topped the beds; the linen sheets were thin, and the woolen blankets were coarse. Augustus wanted more for his first night back with Selene, but comfort was the last thing on her mind. She curled up to one side and fell instantly to sleep.
As tired as he was, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She was like smoke—any moment, she could vanish. And he’d clawed through mud, blood, and bone-deep fear to hold her again.
He didn’t intend to let go.
She was also changed in a way that had nothing to do with how dried sweat plastered her hair or mud spotted her skin.
A scar marred her freckled cheek.
Did Thorne do this to her? Did the man have no shame? His war was with the Triarius family—Selene had nothing to do with this.
Maybe Lili was right. Selene was better off without him.
The moon was high when he finally allowed exhaustion to take over. He doused the room’s single oil lamp, curled into Selene, and let sleep take him.
In the dream, his mother sat beside him on a crate, tying knots into a rope while he watched. As much as he tried to mimic her fingers with his own rope, he couldn’t quite get it.
Finally, he dropped his rope and spit out a particular curse he’d heard Loto say recently. It had sounded quite bad, and the look on Cassia’s face confirmed it.
“All this over a knot?” she asked, retrieving his discarded rope. “I should hang you by your boots for an hour.”
“I can’t get it. My knots keep slipping.”
She raised one black, perfectly arched brow. “So?”
So, she expected him to be like her and Papa, and he couldn’t tie a stupid knot.
Cassia slanted a smirk and showed him how to hold the rope steady. Her fingers moved with ease, though she moved slowly so he could follow. “You know, Augustus, everyone aboard this ship was once terrible at tying knots.”
“Not you.”
“Even me.”
Augustus tilted his head up. His mother was great at everything. Plus, she was probably the scariest person in the world. “You’re lying.”
A laugh jumped from her chest. “Everyone makes mistakes when they’re learning. Sometimes, they continue to make them after they’ve learned. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” She brushed his hair away from his eyes. “It’s only when we give up that we truly fail.”
Cassia pulled him close to her side and dipped her head to speak near his ear as if sharing a big secret. “Mistakes mean you’re trying.” She kissed his head, then guided his hands back to the rope. “Now, let’s try again.”
In the dream, Augustus learned to tie the knot, and his mother’s eyes shone with pride. And when he opened his eyes in the morning, the sun highlighted Selene’s soft expression.
She swept hair from his brow and smiled. “You were dreaming of your mother.”
“I was.”
“It wasn’t a nightmare.”
Tears pricked the backs of his eyes. For the first time in months, a great weight seemed to have lifted from his chest. “I have much to tell you.”
Selene nodded. “Good. Because I’ve waited long enough.”
They spent hours tangled in that room, and Selene wished it had been the reunion she once imagined—full of promises and soft touches. But too much had happened.
Far too much to forget.
Augustus had been lying to her for months. Dimitrios, too, had kept the prophecy from her.
The worst part was that Augustus knew how she felt about being protected in that way. Had she known the truth, she could have prepared better. Worked harder in the training arena. Or…maybe nothing she’d done would have made a difference. But now she’d never know.
By midday, she learned what happened to the Akias, and a part of her soul crushed in on itself.
She pictured Mettius’s hands bound, his face bruised, his voice refusing to scream.
Her escape led Thorne’s ship to stop in Okos.
He would have sailed on by if not for her. And now Mettius was there in her place.
She would blame herself for the rest of her life.
“It’s more likely,” Augustus said, stroking the gooseflesh along her arms, “that the ships would have passed each other regardless. This still would have happened, only you would have been stuck in the middle.” His gaze lowered. “I’m glad you didn’t have to witness that.”
“We have to find Mettius.”
“We will.” He released a sigh and sat back on the bed, which was starting to feel like a rock beneath her. “But maybe you should stay here. Omar has family here and plans to leave the children with—”
“I’m never leaving your side again.”
“Selene.” He swept a thumb across her scar. “You didn’t see the crew. He’s capable of much more than you realize.”
“I don’t care.” She climbed into his lap and held his head steady. “We stick together. Forever.”
“You say that now, but apparently,”—one of his eyebrows kicked up—“you have another soul mate. You’ll be fine without me.”
She smacked his chest. “I didn’t tell you about Roman so you could throw him in my face. Besides, he’s wrong.”
She had to believe that. Because if he wasn’t, then everything she and Augustus were building was a lie.
Selene stroked his cheek, which was coarse with beard growth. “You’re it for me, Augustus. I love you.”
Augustus frowned and shut his eyes. “There’s one more thing you should know.” His chin dipped. “I kissed Blaze.”
Selene’s entire world bottomed out, and she rolled off him and the bed, putting every inch of distance between them that the room allowed.
She couldn’t catch her breath. For weeks, she’d thought of nothing but him, of returning to his side, worrying beyond measure.
He’d walked out on her after that fight, but she thought—
She didn’t know what she thought. Was she wrong about their connection? Was she not enough for a man with so much experience?
Augustus sat on the edge of the bed, his breath ragged. “I don’t want to keep anything from you. I swore I’d never do that again.”
“Did you have sex with him?” The idea made her sick. To think of him touching anyone else the way he touched her…
He winced. “No. Nothing else happened. We needed closure, and I’m not proud of it. He knows what you are to me, and he respects my choice.”
A laugh burst from her. “Don’t be naive. He loves you, and why wouldn’t he? Everyone else does.”
Augustus crossed the room and gripped her face.
“You can be mad at me. I deserve it. But never doubt that it’s you I want.
You’re it for me, too. Where you go, I go.
Where you stay, I’ll don the local dress and learn the language and make nice with every single one of your friends.
What I won’t do is walk out a single door without you, and I will never betray your faith in me ever again. ”
She wanted to believe him; a part of her did. If anything, he believed that he meant every word. It was enough to patch her heart enough to lower the wall she’d just forged. “Forget what I said before. I can barely tolerate you. In fact, I’m pretty certain I hate you right now.”
His mouth lifted to one side. “A temporary affliction. You’ll be back to loving me again before you know it.”
“Don’t be so sure. Apparently, I have options where soul-bonded lovers are concerned.”
His jaw dropped. “Take that back.”
“Don’t worry. He doesn’t have your level of charm. Or arrogance.” As much as she wanted to keep things light, she couldn’t shake the hurt of his admission. “Augustus, in all seriousness, I need some time to work through this. This hurts me.”
Augustus kissed between her brows, then held her close, rocking her gently. “I’m learning, i psychi mou, and I’m going to make mistakes along the way. But I’m going to get this right. I won’t fail you.”
The Okosian docks felt different today. Augustus hadn’t realized how low he’d been only two days ago when he stood there, wanting to burn the entire country to the ground.
Now that he had Selene in hand—no one could pay him enough to release it—he appreciated the freedom to walk about, pirate or merchant or overall bastard that he was.
Selene wove in and back to avoid bumping into people, her hand never leaving his.
She looked more like herself now: clean hair hanging to her waist, the breeze teasing the shorter strands around her face.
Gone were the stiff fabrics of her island tunic and pants.
She layered one of her favorite black corset vests over lace and an off-the-shoulder blouse in a blue that matched her left eye.
While she looked like her old self, in many ways, she wasn’t. The scar was the most obvious change, but it was worse than that. Her trust in the world had vanished. Tension lived in her shoulders, and she scanned twice the ground she used to. He hated that, even if it kept her alive.
The rest he could blame on all the truths he’d dumped at her feet.
She hadn’t yet forgiven him for the kiss, and he didn’t expect her to.
That didn’t mean the fresh walls didn’t sting.
Even when they’d made love, she couldn’t look him in the eye.
A part of her was gone, and all he could do was stay the course and hope she found her way back to trusting him.
“He really likes you,” Selene said.
Little Gus vibrated from his perch on Augustus’s shoulder. His tongue flopped out as his mouth stretched into a grin.
Gross.
“And you like him,” she added, squeezing his hand.
Augustus laughed. “We tolerate each other.” He couldn’t help using her own words against her, and the amused slant on her lips warmed his chest.
“You named him.”
“I named him a lot of things, and not all of them were nice.” He scratched the dronsian’s chin. “Go on—you may as well tell her the entire list. We’re in this together.”
Selene scanned the blue sky. “I’m glad some of us are.”
“Turos?” he ventured to guess. They hadn’t seen the other dronsian since leaving the island.
She nodded, then sighed. “He’s free now, and that’s all that matters.”
Augustus fought yet another urge to sail back to the island and storm that village. The reaction had less to do with Aspasia’s chaining of her dronsian—she tried to kill Selene. All to prevent him from locating the village? An absurd overreaction.
But, since the island wasn’t going anywhere—and neither were its inhabitants—he’d deal with her after they found his father.
The Entia’s crew began to appear through the throng, loading crates onto the ship that was anchored at the end of a very long dock.
It looked as if the managing was falling on the shoulders of a man named Hector Escobar—Iron Will to the others—who had a long history of being a quartermaster himself.
Omar and his wife, Eliza, spoke inside a huddled group near the activity. The usual faces were there: Oskar, Lili, Blaze and his Rangers, and the three heads of the Bladesworn Triumvirate.
Selene stiffened slightly, and a pang of guilt twisted in his gut. This would be her first time facing Blaze since learning about the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” he said for the hundredth time.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He nodded, then stopped in the space that opened for him between Oskar and Rosyln. Oskar caressed the back of Selene’s head, and his eyes crinkled with the smile he gave her. She released Augustus to sidle under Oskar’s arm, and they stood there like a father with his cherished daughter.
As innocent as the move was, the tension radiating off Selene toward Augustus was like a noose pulled tight. The pointed way she avoided Blaze was as good as a knife.
Blaze caught Augustus’s eye, brows lifted in question.
He’d never regret telling Selene everything, though maybe he should have considered what this would be like for Blaze. The Ranger had said it himself: he respected and liked Selene. After this, she wasn’t likely to consider him a friend—not a trusted one, at least.
The quicker they ended this war, the sooner Blaze would be on his way, and he and Selene could return to their lives.
Augustus scanned the group. “Catch me up. Where do we stand?”
“We’ll be ready in two days,” Darian, the white-haired leader of the Bladesworn said. “Our ships are being supplied as we speak.”
“How many men do you have?” he asked.
“Twelve hundred.”
That was damn near as large as the Rutiliana-Triarius Fleet had once been and more than enough to pit against Thorne. Especially if they could locate and add their numbers to the surviving fleet ships.
“Many of my people have chosen to stay behind,” Omar said, frowning. “More than I anticipated.” His wife squeezed his hand. “I left them all with the choice—I had to. This—”
Augustus stopped him with a raised hand.
“You don’t have to explain. I’d understand if all of you stayed behind.
” He couldn’t stomach the idea of any of them entering this battle ahead.
“Omar, I offer you the same choice. I appreciate that you got us this far, but whatever debt you feel you owe my mother should be considered paid.”
“I’m going. No man should have to fight for his family alone.”
Selene reached out to take Augustus’s hand and met his eyes. “He’ll never be alone.”
Augustus kissed her knuckles, then turned his attention to Lili. “Do we have enough people to sail the Entia?”
“It’s a shortage we can sail with. Entering a battle might be a little different.”
A man’s voice came from Augustus’s back. “Will fifty additional men do?”
Selene stiffened.
The owner of the voice was a tan-skinned, broad-shouldered individual. His dark hair was short and tousled, and his beard shadow coated his strong jaw. He didn’t have fifty men with him, but there were four others who looked just as strong, and all five men were armed.
Gus’s low growl vibrated into Augustus’s shoulder.
The man’s blue and brown gaze locked on Selene. “Hello, Eva.”
Selene stepped into the open space between both groups. “What do you want, Roman?”
Augustus reached for his cutlass.