Chapter 39
Chapter
Thirty-Nine
Sleep had abandoned Kai hours ago.
She wandered the tunnels, blue fluorescence pulsing faintly in the stone, her thoughts leaping problem to problem like sparks refusing to die.
“Perean came to our doorstep, Kai Silver Wolf. Your destiny is already here.”
Drakaa. Gods. Destiny. A crumbling prison.
Kai had barely grasped that problem when her mother arrived with another.
She’d set Atsadi free.
“My instincts are rarely wrong,” Shadi had said, “and I could say the same for yours, daughter. You know Usti is behind this. With Atsadi free, Usti will react. And when he does, we must be ready.”
Kai couldn’t fault her mother’s logic. Especially not an hour later, when Shadi addressed the full council. She’d revealed everything: Perean’s dead councilmen, the Black Spear informant, the true rot behind the mountain’s unrest.
She never spoke Atsadi’s name, however, an omission sure to provoke Usti.
Now, all they could do was wait.
If only she could trust Atsadi’s innocence as easily as Fala did.
It was the overwhelming buzz of these thoughts that drove Kai to the healing pools, now dim and empty. The torchlight had long since been doused, leaving the cavern glowing a soft blue-green. Water echoed in slow, steady pings.
She stepped into the same alcove where Atsadi had once reclined, a stranger then. Mist curled through the air like a veil, creating a natural, opaque curtain. Water lapped against the stone.
Kai stripped and slipped into the warmth, knotting her hair atop her crown.
Her thoughts raced without a clear beginning or end. Atsadi. Usti. Drakaa. Xavlin. Shadi. Destiny and duty.
Fala.
What if Kai’s fight with the commander had gone fatally wrong? What if they were all wrong about Atsadi? What if destiny led Kai to the feet of a god?
When the gods came calling, would she be enough?
Did she even want to be?
She bled like everyone else. Who would care for Fala after she was gone?
The gentle rhythm of bare footsteps approached.
Fala appeared in the entrance wearing a sheer robe over a short nightgown that was the color of a burning sunset. Her dark hair hung in a long, thick braid over one shoulder.
Without a word, Fala rounded the pool’s edge and sat, nudging Kai’s clothes aside. She dipped her feet and calves into the water and stroked the back of Kai’s head. “Is there something you could only get here that I couldn’t provide you at home?”
How could she explain what she didn’t even understand herself? She’d been lying in their bed, suffocating beneath the weight of the world—she wouldn’t pull Fala under all that.
“I don’t want to burden you,” Kai said.
“Am I useless when it comes to your troubles?”
Kai looked up, startled. “No. Never.”
“You’re angry that I believe our husband is innocent, then?”
Fala hadn’t flinched upon his release. Despite her initial reaction, she’d spent the last few days asking questions and listening, and doing what Fala did best: understanding.
“No,” Kai said. “Your instincts might be sharper than mine these days. Maybe my mother should consider you for Grand Matriarch instead.”
Kai tried to laugh, but couldn’t summon more than a wobbly smile.
Fala slid into the pool, robe and all, and straddled Kai’s lap. Her braid soaked up the water as she took Kai’s chin in her hands. “You don’t get to break, beloved. Not without me.”
“Is that what I’m doing?” Tears burned the backs of Kai’s eyes.
“The world doesn’t have to be fixed all at once, and not by you alone. And I don’t need you to shelter me from everything.” Fala’s gentle healer’s fingers traced the outline of Kai’s cheek. “I can be a source of strength if you let me.”
Kai fell into her wife’s dark amber gaze. Inhaled the faint scents of woodsmoke and tea tree.
Fala gathered Kai’s hands. “I’m here. Let me hold you together.”
Kai nodded, and a sob broke through her control. Tears spilled over her eyes. “It’s all too much.”
A line deepened between Fala’s eyes, but then it was gone, and she nodded. “Tell me everything.”
So Kai did. All of it. Her doubts about Atsadi. Her fear for the clans. The terror of destiny.
Once she finished, Fala kissed the tattoo between Kai’s brows. “You’ve forgotten something very important.”
“I have?”
Another kiss fell to the side of her left eye. “You don’t have to do any of this alone.” Fala pulled away just enough to meet Kai’s eyes. “Let me back in, beloved.”
It wasn’t a demand, nor meant as some groundbreaking revelation.
And yet, the words parted a veil Kai hadn’t realized was there.
They hammered against a new wall she’d been building stone by stone.
For weeks, Kai had been battling everything the world threw at her, believing Fala to be at her back. Safe.
Except, Fala had been on the other side of this fabricated war the entire time, begging Kai to stop fighting ghosts. The past, the old nightmares, might never leave, but they couldn’t hurt her anymore.
And Atsadi wasn’t the enemy—he never was. His smile crinkled his eyes, and he laughed from his belly, and he marked his vow on his skin despite the fear he’d admitted prior to their union.
He loved them.
“I’m sorry,” Kai choked out, fresh tears spilling. “I didn’t see. I couldn’t see.”
Fala’s eyes filled with tears, too, and she nodded. “It’s all right.” Her hands roamed from Kai’s face to her neck. “It’s all right.”
Kai sank into her wife, into her kiss, into her familiar body.
Fala dug grooves into Kai’s back as she arched against her. She took Kai’s tongue deep into her mouth and drank every sound Kai couldn’t take back.
Kai shoved the sheer robe from Fala’s shoulders, then tugged off her nightdress.
Fingers threaded into Kai’s hair, loosening the knot, spilling the thick length down her neck and shoulders and into the water.
And for a moment, they just stared at one another. Tracing wet swirls on each other’s chests and arms.
“Someone could walk in,” Kai warned.
“They’ll leave.”
Kai’s heart stuttered. When had her wife become so brave?
Fala’s hips ground across Kai’s lap. Her nipples peeked above the water, taut, enticing. Kai took that dusty mound into her mouth, sucking gently.
A sharp breath escaped Fala. She yanked Kai’s mouth back to hers and kissed her hungrily.
Kai couldn’t keep track of Fala’s hands—groping, sweeping her collarbones, palming her breasts with delicious carelessness. The way she traced Kai’s ribs all the way to her spine, and pulled her close, their bodies aligning.
Kai followed the strength of Fala’s thighs to her rear end and squeezed.
Fala rolled her hips.
Water sloshed.
Kai started to flip them around, desperate to explore her wife’s body, to get lost in Fala’s pleasure. Only then would the thoughts vanish. Only then would she be free.
For only a little while.
But Fala stilled her, catching Kai’s wrists and holding their hands to her breast. She brushed damp hair from Kai’s face.
“No,” Fala said, voice low and steady.
Kai blinked. “What?”
Fala rested her forehead to hers, her breath warm and sweet. “You want to disappear into me. I won’t let you.”
“I thought you wanted—”
“I want you.” Fala kissed the corner of Kai’s mouth. “Not the commander. Not the protector. Not the woman who has to control everything.”
Kai froze.
“You don’t have to lead tonight, beloved,” Fala whispered.
Kai rested a cheek on Fala’s shoulder, and her body trembled. “I don’t know how to stop.”
The confession barely broke the surface of her breath, but the truth was undeniable. She was the one others followed into the fire. If she stopped, would the whole world fall? What if surrendering didn’t bring peace, but ruin?
“Let me show you.” Fala guided Kai from the pool and laid her on the warm, wet stone. She bent over Kai’s body, lips brushing her ears. “Close your eyes. Tell me what you hear.”
The soft lapping of water against stone walls. Drops falling from the cave ceiling, plinking below. The distant gurgle of water threading the natural channels.
“Water,” Kai murmured.
Fala’s lips moved from Kai’s temple to her jaw. “What do you feel?”
The unforgiving stone at her back. But also—
A kiss trailed down her neck, heat blooming in its wake. “Your breath is…hot. And your hands—”
Knuckles smoothed down her belly. The tip of Fala’s braid tickled across one nipple, then her hot mouth closed over the other.
Kai gasped.
Not one second passed without sensation. Every sound. Every touch. A quiet vow: You are safe. You are loved.
And the rest of the world…retreated.
Fala drew her out like dawn chasing the dark.
“Look at me,” Fala finally said, her nose brushing Kai’s. “Watch me honor every sacrifice you ever made for me.”
Kai’s eyelids fluttered open. The cave seemed brighter now, its glow echoing the warmth building inside her.
Fala’s mouth slanted across hers, tongues tangling, the salt of skin and clean water between them. Too soon, Fala pulled away, trailing kisses down Kai’s body.
Between Kai’s thighs, Fala rose to her knees, beautiful and flushed. She pulled the tie from her hair and fingered her braid loose. The dark, thick tendrils fell across her shoulders and hid her breasts.
Kai wanted to lose her hands in that hair.
Fala’s eyes brightened, and her beautiful, full lips quirked up to one side. “Keep your hands to yourself, beloved.”
“You can’t expect me to—”
“I expect you to do as I say.” Fala opened Kai’s thighs further and stared down. “Watch.”
Fala slipped a hand between Kai’s legs, fingers grazing her slick, aching center. “Open for me.” Kai knew she didn’t mean physically. “Surrender.”
A fingertip circled Kai’s ache.
Kai squirmed toward it. She needed pressure. Release.
Fala gripped her hip, holding her down. “Let go. Trust me.”
Kai stilled.
Fala lowered, staring up the length of Kai’s body for what felt like an eternity, with nothing but her breath to cool the heat.
Then her tongue was there, and Kai moaned. Her eyes closed—
“Watch,” Fala said.
Kai held her wife’s stare, their hands finding each other, their fingers entwining. Fala laved Kai’s center, slowly at first, then hungrily.
Hot tears sprang to Kai’s eyes—it was too intense.
All of it. The connection. The release of control.
The way her body came alive from all directions.
The warmth of stone. The wetness of water.
The tickle of Fala’s loose hair. The way Fala held her hands, a reminder that she was still there. That she wasn’t going anywhere.
The room’s blue-green glow flared as fire bloomed in her belly. She was a wick, set alight.
Pressure built, and Fala didn’t look away.
Kai shattered.
It wasn’t in silence. Her gasping moan soared into the room and broke against the stone.
Fala tasted her through every pulse of pleasure, anchoring her.
When Kai finally stilled, her breath came ragged. Her heartbeat throbbed under her skin, in her breath, in the spaces between those distant, distant thoughts.
Fala climbed Kai’s body and turned her onto her side. She cradled her from behind, smoothing her hair, kissing the back of her neck.
Kai let her eyelids close. “I love you,” she whispered.
“And I love you.” Fala kissed her shoulder. “Even when you’re breaking. Especially then.”
Kai swallowed the lump building in her throat. “I’m afraid I won’t be enough for all of this.”
For their growing family. For her people. For a world on the verge of breaking.
Fala pulled Kai’s chin toward her and looked into her eyes. “Then be afraid. But don’t walk through it alone.”
Kai twisted around and pulled Fala’s body flush against hers. She kissed her wife, slow and savoring. Fala tasted like release, like home. A new spark ignited under her skin.
“Show me again,” Kai said against her mouth.
Fala smiled and obliged. Time stretched toward morning under her explorations. Hands tracing every scar, every plane of muscle, every piece of Kai she once feared might be unreachable.
For the first time in weeks, Kai didn’t brace for impact. She braced for wonder. For softness. For a world where she could be loved without being useful.
She arched into every kiss as if it were a summons. Their rhythm wasn’t frantic or rushed.
It was water.
A tide retreating, returning, and retreating again.
And when it was done, there were no walls left.
Only sky.