Hayden
She has no idea what’s she saying or who she’s saying it to.
The words “let’s do everything” are to me what a red flag would be to a bull.
During both encounters with her, I’ve kept in mind who she is to me and who she isn’t.
She’s not my submissive, as much as I might wish otherwise.
My dominant side has no place in her bed.
But when she says those three little words, my inner Dom roars to life, and all bets are off.
“Put your hands over your head. Hold on to the headboard.”
Her expressive eyes widen ever so slightly, her lips part and her nipples tighten.
Holy fuck, does she like being told what to do in bed?
No, no, no. Just no. It doesn’t matter if she likes it.
It doesn’t matter if she’s the world’s most willing submissive.
She can never be my submissive. I can’t go there with her.
Anyone but precious, beautiful Addie. The thought of marking her soft skin or torturing her with my kink is beyond my ability to comprehend.
I can do those things with other women because I don’t love them. This woman… She has my heart and my soul and my love and, if I were capable, everything I have to give, except my dominance. But she asked for more. I can give her that without giving her everything.
Eyeing me with trepidation that makes me harder than I already was, she does what I’ve asked, slowly raising her hands up and over her head to grasp the wrought iron rails of her headboard.
The movement puts her spectacular breasts on prominent display.
I wish I had my clamps with me. I wish I had my floggers, ropes and plugs.
I’m out of my mind with lust at the thought of doing those things with her, even though I never will. But I can give her more without taking everything she has to give.
“Do you have lube?”
Her face flushes with the sweetest blush I’ve ever seen. “In the drawer.”
Fuck, I hoped she’d say no, so I wouldn’t be tempted. But she didn’t say no, and I’m sorely tempted. She liked when I licked and fingered her there. I’m experienced enough to know when anal play turns off a partner, and Addie was incredibly turned on by it. Wait until she sees what “more” entails.
You just told her you can’t do this anymore, and you’re going to do that?
I actively hate the inner voice inside my mind that calls me out on my mixed messages.
This is the last time I’m ever going to touch her, and yes, I’m going to do that because she’ll love it and so will I.
It’s one of my favorite things to do in bed, and why shouldn’t I do it with her when she’s already shown how much she likes to be touched there?
Stop rationalizing and just do it, will you? The devil in me always wins out over the angel. Always. Propped up on one hand, I reach for her bedside drawer and find the lube along with a box of condoms and a rabbit vibrator. I grab all three and drop them on the bed.
Her breathing becomes more rapid when she starts to figure out what I have in mind.
“You still want more?” I ask her as I roll on a condom and take the lid off the lube.
She eyes the lube and the vibe, and then she looks up at me with those big, bottomless eyes and nods.
“Words, Addie. Give me words.”
“Yes, Hayden, I still want more.”
“And you know this is it, right? No more after this.”
“You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
I can deal with my conscience tomorrow. Tonight, I’m going to give her an experience—and an orgasm—she’ll never forget.
And then I’ll let her go because it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s what I want.
No, if I could have anything in this world that I want, it would be her.
However, I’m a realist, and I know how things work in the world I live in.
I can’t have her and still be me, too. I can’t drag her into the dreck that is my life, my family or my kink.
She’s so clean and lovely and sweet. I can’t be responsible for causing the inner light that shines so brightly within her to dim with disappointment and regret.
Her body is on high alert for immediate attack, so I surprise her with softness and sensuality.
I start with her lovely pink nipples, which I lave with my tongue until she’s squirming beneath me, her hips rising, seeking my cock.
I add suction and the gentle pinch of my teeth, and she cries out.
Moving down, I keep my fingers wrapped around her left nipple, keeping up the tension as I focus on her core.
I tongue her clit in soft, persuasive strokes until the first orgasm rolls through her, making her gasp and pant, among other noises that I commit to memory for all the nights I’ll have to spend without her.
I drive two fingers of my free hand into her pussy, which pulses with the aftershocks of her orgasm. Then I feel her hands in my hair, tugging and pulling. I withdraw from her to deliver a short, sharp spank to her right ass cheek that startles her.
“Hands over your head.”
I notice her hands are now trembling when she returns them to the iron rods. Rubbing the spot where my hand marked her tender flesh, I turn the pain to pleasure.
“Hayden…”
“Shhh. No talking. Just feel. If you want to stop, say the word ‘red,’ and everything comes to a halt, okay?”
She nods rapidly.
“Words, Addie. Give me the words.”
“Yes, okay.”
“Unless I ask you a question, the only word you’re allowed to say is red. Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Now relax, and enjoy.”
Her small laugh tells me she’s a long way from relaxed, but I’m determined to make sure she enjoys this.
In my perfect world, I would’ve prepared her with plugs and repeated sessions that work up to what I’m about to do.
But my world with Addie is not perfect, and if this is all we’re ever going to have, I want her ass.
I’ve obsessed about her ass to the point of madness.
And when she offers me everything, goddamn it, I’m going to take it.
See what I mean about being a selfish bastard?
But because I love her so damned much, I’m going to make sure it’s amazing for her. “Has anyone ever touched you here before?” I press two lubed fingers against her anus and push.
“N-no. Never.”
“But you like when I do, right?”
“Y-yes. I like it.”
“Mmm, you get so wet when I fuck your ass with my fingers.” I lean in to run my tongue through her copious dampness.
The more I stroke her with my fingers, the wetter she gets.
I push the vibe into her pussy and turn it on, her low moan making me even harder than I already was.
Fucking hell, I can’t get any bigger or I’ll cripple her.
She holds on tight to the iron rods, but her body twitches and writhes on the bed.
Her hips come off the mattress as she tries to find relief from the ache of her desire.
I slide my fingers back into her ass, suck hard on her clit and make her come again, her ass muscles clamping down tight against my fingers. I can’t wait to feel that on my dick.
Pushing the vibe in and out of her, I say, “You still want more, Addison?”
“Yes,” she says through gritted teeth. “Give me more.”
Fucking hell, she’s amazing. Maybe she could be everything I need and want—
No. Don’t go there. One more time, and then it’s over forever.
My hands tremble ever so slightly when I apply a generous amount of lube to my cock. She’s tight, I’m big, and this is going to be a battle royal. I can’t wait. “It’ll hurt—a lot—at first, but the more you relax and push back against me, the easier it’ll be. You got me?”
“Yeah,” she says, panting, “I got you.”
“It’s going to be so good, so hot, so amazing, but not at first.” With the vibe making the squeeze even tighter than it would be without it, I press the tip of my cock against her tiny opening and push into her.
She screams so loudly I worry her neighbors will call the cops.
I withdraw, grab my T-shirt off the bed and give it to her. “Bite down on this.”
Her body is one big quiver as she puts the T-shirt in her mouth to bite down on it.
I start over, giving her the first two inches in one thrust.
The shirt muffles her scream, and her hips come up off the mattress again, seeking something more.
She’s not ready yet for more, so I remain still while her body stretches to accommodate me.
I press my thumb to her clit, stroke the vibe into her and then back out, and another inch of my cock sinks into her ass.
Watching her tiny hole stretch and open to allow me in is one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen—and I’ve seen a lot of hot things in my life.
But because it’s her, because I love her, this is off-the-charts hot.
Still teasing her clit with my thumb, I pulse into her in small increments that make her mewl into my shirt. Those noises, those incredibly sexy noises, send a new burst of blood and heat to my cock, making her moan when she feels me expand within her.
“Addison.”
She opens her eyes to meet my gaze, and the fierce determination I see in her eyes does crazy things to my heart.
I love her so fucking much. What would it be like to be with her this way every day?
To have her in my bed and in my life, to make love to her my way, her way and every other way we can think of?
It’s just a fantasy, though. Real life doesn’t work that way.
Real life is a mess, and I can’t make a mess of something so perfect.
“Are you okay?”
She removes the T-shirt from her mouth. “Mmm. Yeah.” Her words are choppy and breathy.
“More or stop?”
“M-more.”
I give a little push of my hips to remind her of where I am, in case she’s forgotten. That thought nearly makes me laugh. “You’re sure?”
“Y-yes.”
“You’re so fucking sexy, Addison. You have no idea how hot you are taking my cock in your ass.” I frame her face with my hands and use my thumbs to wipe away tears that flow freely down her cheeks. “Why’re you crying?”
“Overwhelming.”
“Not painful?”
“Some.”
I keep one hand on her face and use the other to apply more lube. The last thing I want is to cause her real or lasting pain. All I want is her ultimate pleasure, and I’m determined to get it.
Bending over her, I take a nipple into my mouth, tugging and sucking until it’s standing up tall and proud.
Then I bite down on it, just hard enough to take her mind off the pressure down below.
As she gasps, her back bows, and I push deeper into her while turning on the vibrator at the same time.
I switch to the other side, repeating the process until she’s taken all of me.
“You did it,” I whisper, my lips brushing against her ear.
“I need…”
“What, honey? What do you need?”
“Touch you.”
“Go ahead.”
Her arms come around my neck, her muscles tightening into a noose as she holds me close, maybe so I can’t move or do anything to disrupt the fragile accord we’ve reached. “You’ve got to let me move, baby.”
She moans, and the sound goes straight to my dick, which expands inside the tight confines of her ass. She grunts and mutters something unintelligible, but it might’ve been about breaking her in half.
I love this so much. I love giving her a new experience.
I love the noises she makes, the intensity, the earthiness, the dirtiness.
I love the way her muscles milk me and her body trembles uncontrollably.
I love the feverish heat coming off her skin and the flush that tints her complexion.
And yes, I love the touch of fear in her eyes as she looks up at me, wondering what’s next, wondering if this is it or if there’s more.
Oh, baby, there’s so much more.
“You’ve got to let me move,” I say, kissing her face and then her lips as I work myself free of her tight hold. Propped up on my hands, I look down at her. “Spread your legs as far apart as they’ll go.”
Moving tenuously, she does what I ask her to, her legs trembling madly.
“Now keep them there. Hold on to my shoulders and bite down on the T-shirt if you need to scream. We don’t want to freak out the neighbors.”
Her lips move in silent inquiry. She’s probably about to ask what I’m going to do. Why tell her when showing her is so much more effective? As I withdraw from her slowly, her fingernails bite into my shoulders. And then I slam back in while pressing my thumb against her clit. She explodes.
I fuck her harder, giving her deep thrusts while continuing to massage her clit and move the vibe, keeping her coming almost the entire time.
She’s screaming and crying and scratching me, but she never says the word that would stop everything.
I fucking love her. I love the way her body takes me when she shouldn't be able to.
I love that she seems to love this as much as I do.
I love the way she comes and comes and then comes some more.
I love the way she tests my control with the tight fist of her ass muscles squeezing my cock so hard that I cry out from the supreme pleasure of having her this way.
And then she breaks me with three little words.
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