Chapter 17 #2
Carter rested his head on mine. “If I ever hear this outside of this room, we are forever enemies.”
I pretended to zip my mouth.
“When I was a baby, my shit was so foul that family and friends didn’t like keeping me. My mother breastfed, and something in her diet messed with me. I used to be called ‘Lil Stanka”, then I graduated to Stank in high school.”
“Okay, this weekend...make sure when you need to really use it, go to the lobby,” I teased.
“Un...huh. You take me as I am. The good and the funky.” He chuckled, and again, I was surprised by our ease with each other.
Much like he did on the beach, he started confiding in me, “Told my brother the other day that I didn’t want to play football anymore. He got worried and told my mother. They’re here to talk sense into me.”
“Why don’t you want to play? Thought NFL was the dream?”
“Been playing since I was six. Being talented so young, all anyone cared about was me playing football. I was in the community league and then school. Always the star player. All eyes were on me, and I hated it. Still hate that I’m the spokesperson for the team, even though I’m the captain.
Practice. Rest. School. More practice. My life since I was a kid.
I never brought a girl home because I never had time to develop a relationship.
I’m mad digging on you, and we haven’t seen each other in three weeks.
I can’t tell you the last time I spent time with anyone outside of my teammates, and my life will only get crazier if I stay in football.
I want normal. I want to attend class, finish my degree, get a job, and have a family one day.
Give my children and their mother something I never had.
A father and a husband. My mother probably blames you.
” He snickered, “Okay, she does blame you. Think I’m whipped or something. ”
“Great. I’m not even girlfriend status, and she hates me.”
He raised his head to look at me. “She doesn’t hate you.
She’s convinced you’re the reason I don’t want to play.
She doesn’t get that I’m tired as fuck, and that has nothing to do with you.
We had words, though it wasn’t as ugly as we’ve been in the past. She and I are alike, and we butt heads.
They’re probably talking about me now. I don’t blame them.
The three of us have talked about me going pro for so long, and for me to tell them I no longer want the dream we all shared is devastating. ”
“What do you plan to do?” I asked quietly, stunned that the star quarterback didn’t want to play a sport he seemed to love.
Carter leaned back into me. “Finish the season out. I owe my coach and teammates that much. After that, I’ll fade into the sunset and become that Veterinarian. Get a good job or start my own business.”
“Wow. Leave millions and stardom behind?”
Carter didn’t respond, and the weight of his decision lingered between us. Observing him with his family reminded me of mine. Close, loving, and loyal. Choosing to walk away from millions and risk hurting his family was a brave move. A move he didn’t and couldn’t take lightly.
“Whatever you decide, you have me in your corner.”
He closed his eyes and remained silent.
“I haven’t spoken or texted Grey since we drove away.
But I do need to talk to him and figure some stuff out.
To answer your question, he isn’t my person.
Not because I’m still pissed or trying to prove something to you.
Or think you’re my person. It took me a moment to answer because he has been a part of my life for so long.
But I wouldn’t have looked twice at you if he and I were meant.
I would’ve chosen him and not you earlier.
And I don’t expect that just because we like each other and I met your peeps means we’re together.
All I’m asking is for us to continue spending time together and take it day by day. ”
Carter gave me a lopsided smile. “Think I can manage that. We are compatible, right?”
Tonight, he’d guessed right that I wanted an Arnold Palmer.
“Yes, we are.” From what I could tell so far, we really were.
He threw his arm around me, and he picked up the remote. “Don’t feel like going to bed yet. Do you want to see what’s on TV?”
I snuggled underneath the cover at his side, and my cell quietly vibrated against my leg farthest from him.
I instinctively knew it was from Grey. My pulse quickened.
My need to see what he texted made it hard for me to relax fully.
And I wondered how I could move away from Carter without it being obvious what I was doing.
“Carter,” his mother called. “Tell Darren, good night.”
He groaned. “She acts like I’m a child instead of a grown man. It’s fucking stupid.”
“It’s fine. I have to get up early anyway.” I could kiss his mother for treating him like a child. I needed to read Grey’s text.
Carter swung his feet to the floor. “I’m taking you to campus. From here, it’s not too far. They’re not leaving until tomorrow, so I have plenty of time to get back here after I drop you off.”
“Carter!”
“Ma...give me a sec,” Carter yelled back.
I grabbed his chin and placed a loud smack on his lips. “I’ll see you in the morning. Just go before she holds one more thing against me.”
Carter bade me goodnight with a hug and left the room. I picked up my cell and took a deep breath before reading it.
You made your choice—no need to say anything else. I’m clearing out for a while but will still pay my part of the bills. Hope he’s worth it, and I do mean that. 11:55 pm
I held the phone tightly in my fist, wanting to call him.
I needed to make sure I didn’t lose him.
Needed to make sure that we would always be friends.
Needed him to know that my choosing Carter didn’t mean I no longer wanted him in my life.
I had room for both. Instead of calling Grey, too afraid he wouldn’t answer, I hugged my cell against my chest and went to sleep.