Chapter 22 #2
His voice raised sharply, “Oh...so if he decided he wants to be with you, then it’s over for you and me?”
“No. I meant that if we were going to be together, it would’ve happened. We’ve been friends since we were fourteen. We’ve always had different paths. You and I are on the same one.”
Carter had one hand on the wheel, and his other hand rested on his thigh, his face tight with anger. I picked up his hand and placed it inside my shirt. He cupped my breast immediately, and I tried to ignore the kneading of my rigid nipple.
“I was trying to make a point that you have my heart. Now I can’t focus,” I moaned.
“Like it better when you don’t talk.”
I pressed his hand against my chest, stopping him. “Seriously?”
“Yep. You have feelings for Grey, and I try to ignore that, but sometimes it’s hard as a muthafucka.” I’d never told him we’d slept together. Yet, his jealousy towards Grey makes me wonder if he knows.
“I won’t cheat on you.”
He looked at me. “I believe you. I also believe you’d break up with me to be with him if you had the chance.”
I bit my tongue, wanting to scream that I had the chance, and I still chose him. “If you think that, why are you with me?”
Carter retorted, “I ask myself that every time you mention his name or you’re with him in your apartment.”
“Is that why you insist I stay over all the time or why you want to give me rides to campus? Is that why I’m up at crazy times of the morning to join you at the gym?”
Carter removed his hand from my shirt and placed both hands on the wheel.
“Baby, you can’t keep me from him. He’s my friend, and you’re my love.
My man. Hopefully, my future.” I averted my gaze out the window so he wouldn’t see my emotions.
I didn’t want him to feel manipulated, and the thought of no longer having Carter hurt with a depth I didn’t want to comprehend.
Loving Carter had been so easy. The night of my birthday, I stripped away my fantasy of him and saw him as a man with flaws and insecurities, and I didn’t regret choosing him.
So, knowing that he was this insecure about Grey bothered me because, as much as I loved Carter, I wasn’t capable of letting go of Grey.
Eventually, Carter would demand I choose again, and I didn’t know if I could.
Grey will always own a piece of me.
I sucked in my tears and looked back at him. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then move in with me.”
I reasoned, “I do pay part of the rent, and you live next door. We see each other all the time.”
He insisted stubbornly, “Keep paying your part, or I’ll pay it. I want you with me.”
“It’s too soon. We’ve only been together for six weeks. I don’t want to ruin us.”
Carter argued, “Your parents knew from the first moment they met they would be together forever, and they were younger than us.”
“Yeah, but they didn’t move in together until they married six months later.”
“Fine. Then let’s get married. Neither one of us cares about a wedding.”
My heart soared with joy and trepidation. “Carter...all this because you’re scared of my friendship with Grey? You have nothing to worry about.”
“You’re a fucking lie,” he suddenly snarled, and I cowered in the passenger seat. “Who was your first?”
Tears ran down my face, and I wiped them impatiently, praying he wouldn't ask me when. “How did you know?”
He replied, “You just told me. Figured you slept with him. He’s possessive toward you, like he knows you intimately. Instinct told me he was your first.”
His quiet response was worse than his bark.
We rode in tense silence. I had no idea what to say or do.
Carter turned off the ignition when we pulled into the parking lot in front of the gym.
“I love you. Never felt like this about anyone, and I’m almost certain I won’t ever feel like this about another woman.
Six weeks of being with you, of loving you, of waking up together.
It feels like a lifetime and no time. I don’t want us to ever end.
I hate that I’m so caught up...that I physically ache if I can’t see or talk to you.
” Carter’s eyes sparkled in the dawn’s light.
“Tell me how to get rid of this jealousy...this feeling that you were never mine, that I’m just on borrowed time until he’s ready to be what you want. ”
His passion, earnestness, and love for me overwhelmed the space between us.
He had to know that I couldn’t get enough of him.
I ached, too, at the thought of not being with him.
“How can I make you believe you’re everything I want?
I’m not waiting for him. These tears are for you.
” I removed my seatbelt and knelt over the console to grab his face.
“I love you. I’m in love with you and only you.
You’re my dream, and I never want to wake up. ”
He fisted my hair before punishing me with his lips, and I couldn’t get enough of his rough kiss and touch.
I pulled up my shirt and sports bra so he could suck on my nipples while I slipped my hand into his joggers to stroke him.
His pleased moans spurred me on, and I shifted my body to suck on him.
I pulled him deeper in my mouth and tongued his dick until he grew rigid and began panting.
Soon he yelled, and his cum exploded in my mouth, and he pressed my head to him as I swallowed as much as I could.
Carter chuckled when I lifted my head and grabbed some fast-food napkins he stashed in his glove compartment.
He wiped my mouth before kissing me, then wiped himself and adjusted his pants.
“I’m not asking you to stop being friends with him but at least respect why I don’t like it or him. Just move in with me, okay?”
Conceding, I quirked a brow. “Marriage off the table already?”
“No. You’re just not ready.”
“And you are?”
“I am.” His gaze didn’t falter from mine, and I believed him.
When he opened the door for me and held my hand to help me step down, I entwined our fingers instead of releasing his hand. Together, we walked into the gym, and I marveled that I held the hand of my future husband.