Chapter 41
Choices.
Iparted my lips and couldn’t will myself to speak, wondering if telling him my heart would impact us moving forward.
I would have to tell him about his daughter, and I had no idea if he would be glad that we would be connected forever or hate me for keeping his child away from him.
Would he sue Carter and me for custody? Could Elle adapt to Grey as her father when all she sees are stars regarding Carter?
Would she hate me forever for taking the only father away from her that she has known?
Carter was her hero, and he loved her dearly.
He would fight me on wanting to tell Grey and probably leave me when I insisted on telling Grey, but I had no choice.
Grey deserved to know, regardless of how my family may be destroyed.
Why didn’t my sister tell me Grey had come back?
I balled my hands into fists, thinking how much simpler life would’ve been had I known that bit of information.
By now, Elle would’ve only known Grey as her father, whether Carter and I were together.
“The truth, Darren. Whatever you say, I’ll accept it.
Doesn’t change my feelings for you. I’ll still want the best for you.
” His eyes glistened, and I could see his pulse through the vein in his neck.
He needed to hear my answer. Maybe it would put any doubt about us choosing different people to marry to rest. Maybe we can return to our respective partners and hold on to this moment as a special memory.
Except today wouldn’t be the last time we see each other.
Elle Star St. Patrick belonged to him as much as she belonged to Carter and me.
I stepped out of his embrace and finally answered, “Grey, what difference does it matter now? I have a family, and you’re with Tatianna. For all I know, you’re already married.”
He clenched and unclenched his jaw as his arms fell by his side. “I’m still single.”
I scoffed as I moved further away from him. “You’re not single. You probably live with her. You’ve loved her for years.”
Grey said with irritation, “And you have a man who’s loved you. That has nothing to do with you and me. We came before them.”
Shaking my head vehemently, I reminded him, “No, Carter forced you to deal with your feelings for me.”
He ran a frustrated hand over his curls and quietly asked, “So, you didn’t feel for me at all? If I never kissed you that day in my bedroom, you’re telling me you would’ve never considered me the man for you? Please don’t tell me my love for you was one-sided.”
“Grey.” I walked back to him and pressed his hand against my heart.
“You’ve lived in here for most of my life.
I don’t know if we would have ever been together if you hadn’t kissed me.
You’ve always made it clear that we wanted different things, and I accepted it.
Why would I fuck up our friendship if I knew we wouldn’t make it as a couple?
Because you kissed me, we haven’t seen each other in years, proving why I wouldn’t have done anything to ruin our friendship. ”
Grey lifted his head to the ceiling and then looked back at me.
“Now you know we want the same things. Now you know I wanted to marry you eight years ago. I stopped seeing Tatianna after you and me. Being with her no longer felt right. You ruined other women for me. I didn’t date anyone for two years after I left Houston.
I focused on training and hoped I would hear from you.
After talking to my mother, I found out you got married and had children four years ago.
I didn’t want to search for pictures of you with him and your children.
Didn’t want to see what I could’ve had, and I started to truly let go of you.
Tatianna and I started training again for the Olympics, and she initiated us again two years ago.
We haven’t been together since I left you, if that’s what you think. ”
Gripping his hand still resting on my chest, I confessed, “I couldn’t watch the Olympics because I was supposed to be there, cheering louder than anyone. I couldn’t watch what could’ve been either.”
He tapped my heart. “Then tell me, would you have married me?”
Unable to look at him, to see the pain in his eyes because of a choice he made to leave me, I dropped my gaze. “Carter has been good to me. We have a good life. He’s been an amazing father. I love him, and I don’t have regrets about marrying him.”
“Why won’t you tell me the truth?” He searched my face, and then his chest rose and fell disappointedly.
“Because no matter what, you would’ve married him.
” Tears rimmed his eyes as he walked back to the table and took out two numbered candles representing my age.
“Umm...let me at least light the candles for your cake. I’m sorry I said anything on your birthday.
You wanted your best friend, and I had to push the issue.
You wanted to recreate Sixteen Candles, so let’s do it, and I’ll go.
” He reached for my hand and pulled me to him to lift me back on the table.
Grey grabbed a lighter from the plastic bag and hopped back on my opposite side.
I chuckled through my tears. “You really thought of everything.”
Grey nodded as he lit the candles on top of the beautiful cake. “Happy Birthday, Darren. Make a wish.”
He met my gaze, smiling in anticipation of my blowing out the candles. His effort to hide his feelings, like he’d done for most of our relationship, at this moment was heartbreaking. At the very least, I owed him the truth.
“I wished I’d married you.”
His eyes widened, and his breathing increased as the flickering candles from the cake danced in between us. As we leaned forward to kiss each other, my cell finally rang next to him.
Carter.
Grey frowned as he passed me the phone, stepped back off the table, and walked out the door. I searched frantically for his keys, hoping he didn’t just leave. His keys rested on the counter. Then I could breathe before I answered my phone.
“Hey,” I answered, thankful the cell kept Grey and me from kissing. I might love Grey, but I still loved the man on the other end of this call. My husband.
“Hey...listen, I’m stuck here at practice. I don’t know if I’ll make it to the airport on time.” Carter sounded apologetic. Surely, he wasn't trying to cancel on me. This was the first birthday since we married that he'd made plans for me. Football was his priority during this time of the year.
I checked my cell, and it was almost noon. “You still have a couple of hours.”
Carter blew out his breath. “You know how this works... I’m not going to make it.”
“So, what do you want me to do?”
He offered, “You can still go. Everything is already paid for.”
I turned away from the door and strode toward the back of the store. “Why would I go by myself on my birthday, Carter?”
“People do solo trips all the time.”
“Really? Have you ever met me?”
I could tell he was trying to temper his reaction to my irritation.
“Okay, then get us a penthouse suite, and I’ll come there after practice since your mother will be here to watch the children.
I’m sorry. This is why I don’t like making big plans on your birthday, especially when I have to travel with the team. Shit happens.”
“This feels like my twenty-first birthday all over again.”
He grumbled, “Don’t make me feel worse than I do.”
“Do you really feel bad? You planned this because I hung up on your ass. Maybe you’re glad you have an excuse not to go with me.”
“Come on, why wouldn’t I feel bad? No matter what you think, I still wanted to make your birthday special.”
I gritted my teeth. “Then start off by apologizing and figuring out how to make it up to me instead of calling me with a lame-ass answer of traveling to Napa Valley, a place I’ve never been, without you on my birthday.”
He replied tersely, “I have to go. Are you getting us a suite or not?”
I tapped my foot. “Are you going to have me waiting? You’ve done it before, and I’m not up for it tonight when I could be with my children and mother.”
He sighed loudly. “Get a suite, and I’ll be there in time for dinner.”
“How about I get a suite, and you find somewhere else to stay? I also know how these things work.”
“Darren,” he growled. “I’m not sleeping without you.”
“You were ready to send me alone to another city a few seconds ago? Maybe I don’t want to wait for you...wondering if I should eat or wait because whenever you can’t give me a definite time, I end up doing that. Today is my day. So, either be at the suite by seven or don’t bother at all.”
“Just text me the address of the damn hotel when you find one. I have to go.”
“Go then.” I huffed and then clicked off the cell.
I stalked to the door and opened it. Grey leaned against the building, hands thrust in his pockets. “Can you spend the day with me as a friend?”
Grey pushed off the building, wearing a frown. “Everything okay?”
“Can you spend the day with me or not?” I placed my hands on my hips.
He grinned and held his hands up. “Chill. I would love to. As long as you leave that nasty attitude right here.”
I wryly smiled, exhaling my anger. “Done. Now, let’s go have fun.”
As I finally blew out my candles with Grey watching, my only wish was that my children would survive and continue to thrive after the tsunami that was about to hit the family.