Chapter 10 #2
Suzumi examined the marking, gliding her left thumb over it. “There,” she said, her gaze still firmly locked on the new adornment to her skin. “You are free to share as you please.”
Draven drew in a slow, measured breath. He chewed on his bottom lip, and he glanced up at the night sky, deciding he wanted to stare at something bigger than himself, his secrets, and this material world while sharing something so monumental to his mortal life.
“My mother isn’t my real mother. Well, not biologically, that is. ”
Through his peripheral, he glimpsed the way Suzumi’s face twisted with shock.
Though he did have to give her credit for how well she kept the pangs of it hidden from her voice.
“How is that possible? If I’m not mistaken, it’s common knowledge that your father and mother were married years before your birth. ”
Draven dipped his chin. “That is true. They were married for three years before I was finally born. According to my mother, my father had wanted a strong, male heir the moment they married, and he grew impatient with her as the years passed and she was unable to give him one.”
Suzumi remained silent, allowing Draven space to continue at his pace.
“In Erandor, wives are bred to support their husbands and understand their needs. Well, at least that’s the way my mother explained it to me.
So, when my father took a liking to a specific courtesan, all she could do was stand by him and hold her tongue.
He was a powerful man, and powerful men have needs far beyond what one woman can sate.
Especially when that woman can’t even produce a single heir. ”
“That’s what he said to her, isn’t it?” Suzumi’s soft voice attempted to hide her disgust, but remnants of it still leaked through.
“It is.”
She clicked her tongue, and Draven felt tempted to echo the gesture. Yet he continued with his story instead.
“Through Raffir’s fortune, my mother’s lady’s maid caught wind of a rumor that this specific courtesan was seeking a cure to a problem imposed on her by a high-ranking lord.
Once she told my mother of the rumor, my mother sought out the courtesan and confirmed its validity.
As she suspected, it was in fact my father who impregnated the woman.
So, my mother proposed a solution: give the child to her, and she would buy out the courtesan’s contract as repayment. ”
“And your father was okay with this?” There was no judgement in Suzumi’s voice. Just sheer curiosity.
“Not exactly. For one, he didn’t allow my mother to buy out the courtesan’s contract.
” Draven rubbed his thumb against his index finger.
“He also rebuked the idea of something common being born of his seed. But…” He trailed off, the full weight of his gaze now on his thumb as it continued gliding mindlessly along the skin of his finger.
“My father was running out of options. It was discovered that my mother is barren, cursed to never be able to conceive children. They tried to find a remedy using Gardners, apothecaries, healers, but nothing worked. Nothing could change the nature of her body.”
Suzumi’s somber voice was barely a rasp. “That is grounds for divorce in Erandor,” she murmured.
Draven’s brows kicked up, and he nodded. “It is. And from what my mother told me of the story, my father was already searching for an adequate replacement for her. Until she had a vision, clearer than any she had before.”
“Vision?” Suzumi repeated, confusion laced in the word.
He released a sigh, gliding his hand along his jaw.
“Most don’t know this because my father has taken great care to keep the information hidden, but…
My mother was a Seer. Besides her considerable wits, it is in large part why he married her.
He had hoped to use her ability to aid him in decision making and militant strategies. ”
“Was.” The word rolled slowly from her tongue.
“Pardon?” Draven turned his gaze onto her.
“You said your mother was a Seer.”
“Oh,” he replied, his voice dropping into a low whisper. “Right. She, uh…she lost her ability a little over a year ago.”
Her brows furrowed as she visibly attempted to wrap her mind around that. “Compared to the Dalmar Heir, I know I am grossly undereducated, but I don’t recall ever learning about magic users simply losing their abilities.”
Draven shrugged, the loose gesture carefully mastered.
“I suppose you’re right. The doctors all say it’s more like there’s something blocking her from using her ability.
They say magic works differently for Seers than the average wielder.
One woman said to think of it like an artist staring at a blank canvas with a paint brush in hand while suffering from a creative block.
They have all the tools to paint a picture, yet when they move to paint, nothing comes of the lines.
” He paused, debating if he wanted to say the next part or not.
He decided he did, because he hated feeling like Suzumi was basing any opinion of him on being from House Dalmar.
“And please don’t call me the Dalmar Heir,” he added gently. “I am just…Draven.”
“Alright, Just Draven,” she said through an attempt at a light-hearted smile. “Have any of the doctors been able to identify what’s causing her block?”
He heaved a sigh and raked a hand through his hair, suddenly realizing he was giving Suzumi far more information than he originally intended.
It was just that it felt so good finally being able to discuss all of this aloud with another person.
“She suffers from these…attacks. I don’t know what they are or why they happen; only that when they manifest, she is unable to function for a day or two.
She lost her ability to See the day the first attack appeared. ”
Suzumi was silent for a moment. “So before your mother lost her ability, she had a vision that convinced your father not to divorce her?”
Draven scoffed a hollow laugh. “Not only that, but it convinced him to go along with my mother’s idea of taking the courtesan’s unborn child as her own.”
“What was the vision?”
He tilted his chin up to stare at the stars once more.
“She saw me wielding darkness as if it were a part of the fabrics of my very being. She saw men cowering before me, bowing at my feet. She saw me as a feared leader, formidable and unbeatable. She saw me commanding an army. Saw my name dripping from fearful lips as I raged havoc on the battlefield. She saw me surrounded by fallen bodies of Abdites. She…” He paused, debating if he wanted to say the final part of his mother’s vision.
Ultimately, he decided he did, because why should he stop sharing everything with Suzumi now?
“She saw me amongst the gods, magic raging between us all.”
She studied him for an aching handful of passing seconds. “I’m sure your father loved that,” she eventually grumbled under her breath.
“Oh,” Draven confirmed through a small laugh, grateful for her reply.
“He did. So much so, he added his own touches to my mother’s plan, putting safety measures in place at every turn to assure no one would be able to trace the truth.
” A sneer curled his upper lip. “He didn’t want anyone to know that his pure-bred son—bearer of the famed dark magic and next in line to lead House Dalmar—was actually nothing more than a bastard, born of a courtesan. ”
A heaviness piled in Draven’s chest, and he felt a wave of disgust roll through him.
“My mother was never supposed to tell me the truth,” Draven continued. “My father still doesn’t even know that I’m aware my mother is not my birth mother.”
“Do you know who your birth mother is?”
The heaviness expanded, sinking down into his stomach where a pit opened to eat the weight of his feelings. “I do.”
Suzumi stilled, appearing hesitant to ask her next question. “Have you…reached out to her?”
Draven pictured a lavish room filled with books and pastel drapery.
He saw honey-quartz skin and sea-green eyes that were at once bright and dead.
Within a second, he was seeing himself sitting across a table, asking questions and dissecting every answer, attempting to understand parts of himself that were cut from fabrics he was never able to truly hold.
He hung his head, guilt swelling inside of him. “I have.”
Suzumi dropped her head to catch his eyes. “Why do you answer that question as if you just confessed to a murder?”
“Because my mother doesn’t know I discovered who my birth mother is, and she certainly doesn’t know that I’ve spoken with her.
Because my mother has been nothing but perfect and kind to me, and every time I speak with the woman who birthed me, I feel like I’m stabbing my mother in the back.
Every single day since my birth, my mother has loved me despite being forced to stare into the eyes of the product of my father’s betrayal.
Every day, she treats me as if I were actually her flesh and blood.
Every day, she chooses to accept me and show me unending love, despite having every reason not to. ”
Suzumi remained silent for a long moment, and Draven felt as though he could drown in the weight of his guilt at the confession.
Finally, after a pain-staking series of too-long seconds, she reached over for Draven’s hand and laced her fingers through his.
“It is perfectly natural to want to know where parts of yourself come from. Sometimes, decisions hurt, but that doesn’t always mean they’re wrong, either.
From what I’ve gathered, I think your mother understands that more than most people. ”
Draven looked over to her, then down at their interlaced fingers. His breath caught in his chest, and he was nearly debilitated by an overwhelming squeezing sensation that clutched at the empty space beneath his breastbone.