Chapter 34 #2
“Maybe we can leave tonight instead.” The idea of having their own Christmas together before her dad and Irina’s family arrived tomorrow appealed.
“I’m ready to go home.” He caressed her face.
They lingered in bed, savoring the quiet before heading down for a hearty breakfast.
In the dining room, Christmas music played. With fewer people crowding the room, the lights draping the window and the small tree drew her attention. Bella bubbled, strapped into her high chair, clanking a spoon against the tray littered with pieces of blueberry muffin Wade broke for her to eat.
“I have to admit.” Julia sipped her tea with a raised brow. “Wade has surprised me. He’s flaky like me, but if he’s married, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us.”
It seemed his siblings hadn’t clued Julia in on how their marriage had started. He’d mentioned that not all his siblings knew the truth.
“Once married, I’m in it for the long haul.” He winked.
“We all have doubts when choosing a life partner.” Rohan swirled his fork through the fruit on his plate. “But once the choice is made, it’s about making it work.”
Julia clinked her cup down. “Wade was never the settle-down type, just sayin’.”
“Lucky for me.” His gaze softened on Claire. “I found someone worth settling—”
A gurgling noise cut off his words, and all eyes, including Claire’s, snapped to Bella wide-eyed in her chair.
“Oh no!” Wade shot up from his seat, Claire and the rest of the table following in a frantic rush. “She’s choking!”
Bella’s face was blotchy, her mouth open in a silent scream.
Everything unraveled in slow motion. Wade yanked Bella from the chair, skipping the buckle. Claire’s hands fluttered as she tried to help, but she had no idea what she remembered from her high school first aid class.
He set Bella on his lap, her back to his chest. Claire clasped her hands together, praying as people surrounded them, murmuring around the table. His hands moved in firm thrust after thrust to Bella’s abdomen.
A garbled sound erupted from Bella, followed by a wail.
Relief crashed through Claire, and she sank to her knees. “Thank You, God!”
Wade sat, pale and trembling, bouncing Bella on his shoulder as she continued to cry, her little body squirming against him.
After seeing Bella was okay, the family returned to their seats. His mom gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Claire moved to his side and slid an arm around his waist. He looked more terrified than Bella.
“I can’t believe this happened.” He ground his teeth, his jaw set in unforgiving lines.
Bella, now calmer, reached for Claire’s earring with her smudged hand. She pried Bella’s fingers away and tapped her nose.
“Poor kid.” Julia winced. “First the black eye, now choking. If her caseworker showed up now, you wouldn’t be winning custody points.”
“Turns out we won custody, in case you missed the text.” His eyes darkened. “Not sure why the attorney saw me fit.”
Claire’s heart ached at the stiffness of his back. She ran her hand along it, hoping to comfort. Bella, now distracted, giggled when Claire’s hand rubbed at her socked feet. It wasn’t the time to take Bella from him. He needed help to steady himself.
“Accidents happen all the time.” Theo chuckled. “Remember when I used to ‘choke’ you during wrestling matches?”
“Accidents shouldn’t happen to kids when adults are watching.” Wade’s response was a terse growl.
“I agree. Kids shouldn’t be injured on—”
“Not now, Julia!” Rohan shot his sister a warning glare.
She shrugged, her lips pursed as if she had more to say.
The unease lingered throughout the morning.
Wade remained unusually quiet during his father’s reading of the Christmas Story as they gathered around the tree.
During the gift exchange—everyone had drawn names to keep it simple—Wade’s focus drifted to the window and the snow falling outside.
By the time the carols began, the tension radiating from him was unmistakable.
Claire squeezed his hand during 'O Holy Night,' but the withdrawal she sensed only heightened her concern.
When they returned home that evening, she hoped the intimacy of their little family would help him unwind. Bella had fallen asleep during the drive, and they put her in her crib before sitting down to exchange their gifts.
Wade handed Claire a box, the glittering Christmas tree flashing light over his features.
She removed the wrapping and opened the lid. Her eyes widened. “A micro welder?” She assessed the specialized jewelry tool she’d long deemed too extravagant for her business budget. How did he know?
She squeezed his hand beside her on the sofa. “Do you know how much easier this will make welding jump rings and small components? I won’t even need to solder!”
“I’m glad you like it.” His chest puffed beneath the green button-down.
“Thank you!”
When she wrapped her arms around him, he hugged her back. But his racing heartbeat betrayed his unease, and his usual chatter was absent. “I have something else for you.”
From beneath Bella’s wrapped gifts, he retrieved a small box and handed it to her.
Inside was a delicate chain necklace carrying three tiny letter-shaped charms—B, C, and W. Clearly, Bella, Claire, and Wade. Her heart swelled at the personal touch.
“Wade, it’s beautiful.” Her throat felt as if she’d choked on glass. She leaned over to kiss him, hoping to draw him out of his quiet state. “I love it.”
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I thought it would make a good family gift.”
“It surely does.” Her hand brushed his. She held his gaze, hoping to remind him that their family, however imperfect, was still whole.
Perhaps giving him the gift she’d gotten for him would cheer him up. She retrieved the box from beneath the tree.
“I wasn’t sure what to get you,” she admitted. “After all, you have—or can get—everything.”
“I’d value anything from you.” He untied the ribbon, curiosity twisting his expression. His lips curved into a smile as he lifted the book from the box.
“To Kill a Mockingbird.” He laughed and opened the cover. His eyes widened. “First edition and signed by Harper Lee herself? Wait. Is this the original dust jacket, too?”
“A retired professor was having an estate sale.” She’d have to thank the librarian again for his recommendation.
Wade’s fingers brushed over the worn cover, lingering as if the book were a rare treasure. “This is incredibly thoughtful. Thank you.”
She still had the necklace she’d made for him tucked away, but if this didn’t soften him, what chance did a simple piece of jewelry stand?
Later, in bed, the silence stretched. He stayed quiet, even as the night-light’s faint glow bathed the room. He’d bought it for her—he knew she hated the dark. His arm rested around her, warm but unmoving. She didn’t need to look at him to know he was still awake.
It wasn’t the book. It wasn’t her. Whatever it was, it had him locked away in his shadows.
She rested her head against his chest, her hand moving soothingly over his arm. “We’re doing our best.”
His body stiffened. “Not under my care. I shouldn’t have given her the muffin. How many times am I going to let her get hurt?”
“She’s fine.” How was she supposed to convince him Bella would have bumps here and there? Claire propped herself up on her elbow. “You need to stop blaming yourself.”
He shook his head. His jaw flexed, and he pulled further away. “You and Bella are better off without me.”
What? No! “You’re not backing out now.” Her throat tightened making her next words choke out. “We’re in this together.”
“I’ll support you.” His smile wobbled. “We can stay married in name only, but I can’t keep failing you. Failing her.”
Tears stung her eyes. “You’re not failing us, Wade.” She shot up, folding her arms around herself. What had she done to deserve this? All she ever did was love Wade Stone, but Julia was right. He was flaky. “Don’t you see how much you mean to us?”
He sat up and tossed the blanket to his feet. His chest rose and fell beneath the white shirt, his silence deafening.
“Families aren’t perfect.” He would know that, having Julia for a sister. “But we’re stronger together.”
His shoulders slumped, and his eyes softened. He inched closer and embraced her. “I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice faltered, pained. “I love you, Claire. But you and Bella will do fine without me.”
“Stay for us.” She shifted closer and pressed her forehead against his, her tears falling now. “That’s all I’m asking.”
His thumb traced along her jaw, slow and deliberate, as if he were saying goodbye. “I’ll leave as soon as Bella opens her presents. Tell your dad and Irina I’ll miss their company.”
There was nothing more to say. He’d done so much for her—getting her father settled in good hands and hiring a nanny Eric and Joy highly recommended so Claire could work on her jewelry when needed.
Neither of them had been ready to be parents, but he had tried.
She hated letting him go, but above all, she wanted him happy.
“Thank you for standing by me these past months.” The words slipped from her lips unbidden. She rested her hand over his chest, his erratic heartbeat pulsing beneath her fingers. “I love you. You have my blessing—go.”
“You’ll always be my wife.” His grave voice carried unspoken sorrow. “I’ll call you every day. If you get tired of this empty marriage and decide to move on, God will understand.”
If things didn’t work out with Wade, she wasn’t sure she could endure another try.
They held each other for a final goodbye. No promises, no certainty. Her vision blurred, like the shadow that now loomed over their future—unknown, undefined.