Chapter 18
Chapter
Eighteen
I reached for Kaelith, my mind barely grasping onto hers through the haze of exhaustion. I’m okay. He’s gone.
Her presence was immediate, wrapping around me like smoke and steel. You are not okay.
No, I feel fine, I— The words cut off as agony lanced through me, scorching through my veins like liquid fire. My knees buckled, and I crashed to the ground.
I thought you said you anchored me! I gasped, clutching my stomach as the glow beneath my skin flickered, too bright, too wild.
Kaelith’s voice was sharp in my mind. I did—as best I could. But I do not trust you with my full power. You are reckless. You have not earned it.
What for fuck’s sake am I wielding now? My breath came in ragged pants as the fire inside me raged, devouring everything in its path.
Yours, Kaelith murmured. Only it is more powerful due to your connection to me.
I clawed at the dirt beneath me, sweat dripping from my forehead as the pain turned unbearable. My hands trembled, my body shaking apart from the inside out.
How do I stop it?
Backlash cannot be stopped, Kaelith said grimly. But your healing will kick in. There is nothing anyone can do for you.
I barely heard her. The burn was searing through every limb, and I couldn’t contain the scream that tore from my throat. My jacket felt suffocating, the leather sticking to my fevered skin, trapping the heat. I ripped it off, gasping as the rain hit my bare arms.
Cold relief.
I collapsed onto my hands, letting the water drench me, letting it fight the inferno raging in my blood.
The sizzling sound of rain against my burning skin was real—or maybe just in my head.
I didn’t know. I just stayed there, kneeling, forehead pressed to the damp ground as the storm cooled what felt like a dying sun inside me.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the fire in my veins began to dim. The world blurred, exhaustion hitting me like a blow. My limbs felt useless, like I had run for an entire day without food or water. My muscles trembled, every inch of me hollowed out.
I heard Tae’s voice calling for me, urgent and worried. I forced myself upright, staggered toward the sound, my entire body aching.
But as horrible as I felt, my mind was racing.
The Blood Fae. The way he had looked at me. The things he had said.
“I thought you were a myth.”
“Soon, you will learn you are on the wrong side.”
A chill ran deeper than the exhaustion, settling into my bones.
Because as much as I hated him, as much as I wanted to dismiss his words?—
I couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew something I didn’t.
My legs kept moving as I pulled my jacket on, uncaring that I was soaking wet.
“Ashe!” Riven called out through the storm.
“I’m here,” I croaked as I made my way back to the burned port.
Zander’s lavender eyes darkened as he stepped toward me, his presence looming, but I didn’t back down. I was too exhausted to care. Too raw to give a damn.
“What happened to you?” His voice was sharp, demanding, and I could feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on us.
I wiped at the sweat on my brow, barely keeping my knees from buckling. “A Blood Fae attacked me,” I said, my voice rough from the storm of pain still lingering in my body. “And... well, he’s gone now.”
Zander’s gaze flickered, something unreadable crossing his face. “Was that lightning display you?”
I nodded, suppressing a shudder.
“Kaelith anchored you?”
I swayed, my breath hitching as the world tilted slightly. “She didn’t fully,” I admitted, my frustration leaking into my voice.
Zander jaw flexed. “She said she did what she could,” I continued, but I struggled to hold myself up.
He muttered something under his breath before leveling me with a look that felt like a goddamn hammer to the chest. “You can’t use your powers. They’re too volatile until you’re properly anchored.”
I felt something inside me snap.
“Sorry, but that fae asshole didn’t get the memo. He was trying to kill me, I was trying to stay alive.”
Zander’s eyes flared, his lips pressing into a hard line. “And you almost died, Rebec. If your dragon had truly anchored you, you wouldn’t be standing there about to collapse.”
I gritted my teeth. “You think I don’t know that?” My voice rose, raw and filled with exhaustion-fueled anger. “You think I wanted this? That I called on a storm because I was in the mood to put on a fucking light show?”
Zander took a step closer, his presence crowding into mine. “I think,” he said, voice controlled but simmering, “that you are reckless. And if you keep acting like this, you’re going to get yourself killed.”
My fists clenched. “Oh, I’m reckless? You set an entire battlefield on fire, but I’m the problem?”
His jaw ticked. “I know my limits. You don’t even know what you are yet.”
That hit harder than it should have. My chest tightened, my hands shaking.
“Yeah? And whose fault is that?” I shot back. “No one will tell me what I am. I’m just supposed to sit back, shut up, and hope my dragon decides I’m worthy before my own power kills me.”
Zander’s nostrils flared. “Then learn control. Until Kaelith fully anchors you, you do not use your magic. Understood?”
I wanted to slap that authoritative tone right out of his mouth. “Understood, Lieutenant ,” I snapped. “Next time I’ll ask the Blood Fae to schedule my murder at a more convenient time.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. For a second, I thought he might say something else, but instead, he turned away.
“The dragons are returning. We will rest while we fly. The storm is subsiding.”
I stared at his retreating back, my pulse still hammering. My squadmates stood in silence, watching the exchange like they weren’t sure whether to intervene or let us kill each other.
Ferrula grunted as Jax finished tying off her bandage. “You sure know how to make friends, Ashe.”
Jax let out a low whistle. “I thought he was going to strangle you.”
Riven nudged me lightly. “You okay?”
No. Not even close.
But I forced a smirk anyway. “Never better.”
The wind cut against my face as Kaelith landed, her powerful wings beating in steady, controlled movements. I gritted my teeth, hoisting myself up with what little strength I had left. My arms ached, my body a sluggish mess of exhaustion.
Jax’s hand pressed against my upper thigh, shoving me upward with ease. “Need a boost, Snowtop?”
I shot him a glare, but he only winked before jogging over to Koddos, already adjusting his saddle.
I gripped the rope I had secured to the pommel of my saddle. My fingers fumbled with the leather strap, as I wrapped it around my hand. The moment we left the ground, my limbs grew heavier, my exhaustion clawing at me like a lead weight.
Stay awake. I ordered myself, blinking against the haze creeping into my mind.
Kaelith’s wings sliced through the air, the rhythm of her flight almost lulling me into unconsciousness. I swayed slightly, my vision flickering. My fingers tightened around the rope, but my grip was weak.
Snap.
Kaelith jerked her neck sideways, a growl vibrating through her throat.
If you fall from my back, I will not catch you . Her voice was sharp, laced with irritation, but beneath it, something else stirred.
Was that concern?
I swallowed, straightening with difficulty. I’m trying to stay upright, but I’m so damn tired. My head pulsed, my body aching. I barely had the energy to sit in the saddle, let alone fly a six-hour journey.
Why do you hate me? The question slipped through my mind before I could stop it.
Kaelith didn’t answer immediately, her mind a wall of silent resistance.
It is not you, personally, she finally said. It is what you represent. That white hair is offensive.
Oh, I muttered, struggling to form a coherent thought. So, it’s the way I look? Well, if that isn’t the bane of my entire existence.
I sighed, leaning forward, resting my forehead against the warmth of her scaled neck. I let my hand slip beneath the rope tied around her, grounding myself in the solid feel of her body.
There was a story behind her hatred, a wound left unhealed, but she didn’t trust me enough to share it.
Not yet.
My eyes drifted closed, but my mind remained entrenched in hers. Memories bled into my thoughts, unbidden, weaving themselves into the fragile thread that bound us.
I was about four, helping Stella with the mending.
My tiny fingers pricked against the needle, staining the fabric with blood.
“If we don’t mend the clothes, we go hungry.
” She wasn’t a bad person, just desperate.
We had struggled until that last year together—when Cyran must have taken an interest in me.
Then came Octavia, who taught me how to steal. It started small—simple pickpocketing. But as I got older, the jobs grew more dangerous. “You steal to live, but if you are caught, you die.”
And then I lived with Cyran, and my training changed again. It was no longer just about survival, but about skill. Assassination. I told him I would never kill, and I meant it.
Kaelith’s mind brushed against mine, her presence pressing closer. Did you ever have a choice? she asked, and for the first time, her voice wasn’t laced with bitterness.
My mind replayed memories I hadn’t meant to share.
Remy.
Our first kiss.
The first night I made love—to him.
The moment he proposed.
The night Cyran told me he hadn’t survived his last mission.
Just once, I whispered.
Kaelith exhaled deeply, something unreadable in her silence. Then, softer than I’d ever heard her speak before, she murmured, Sleep, Rider. You will not fall tonight.
Darkness clung to me like a second skin as we rode through the skies, my body swaying with the rhythm of Kaelith’s wings. I slipped in and out of sleep, unaware of the world around me. Each time I drifted too far, a sharp jolt snapped me back—Kaelith’s silent way of keeping me in the saddle.
How are you doing this? I asked her groggily, my mind barely forming the thought.
You will dismount shortly , she responded, ignoring my question entirely. Her voice wasn’t irritated this time, just matter-of-fact.
My eyes fluttered open just as she descended gracefully onto the Ascension Grounds. The moment her claws touched the ground, I tried to slide from the saddle, but my legs were sluggish, my entire body numb from exhaustion. My fingers fumbled with the knots, stiff and uncooperative from the cold.
The saddle slipped free and hit the ground with a thud. I worked at the last of the fastenings, untying the rope from around her neck, but before I could say a word, Kaelith launched back into the sky without another glance.
My shoulders slumped. I guess the bonding will have to wait.
Zander watched me from where he stood, arms crossed like he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t have the energy. Instead, I turned and trudged toward our barracks. The others followed, none of us speaking. It was late, and we’d get little rest before sunrise.
Once inside, exhaustion hit full force. We stripped off our gear in silence, too tired to care about modesty. Cordelle slipped into the washroom to change, but the rest of us collapsed into our beds within minutes.
Sleep came fast—but it didn’t last.
Whispers stirred me from the edge of unconsciousness.
“Are you sure?” Naia’s voice was low, careful.
“Yes,” Cordelle answered. “I checked several volumes. Both a Storm Reaper and a Tendon Reaver are powers from a lost bloodline. They shouldn’t exist.”
A pause. Then Naia scoffed. “Well, they do. Are you saying Perin and Ashe could be brother and sister?”
Cordelle was silent for a long moment. “It’s possible. But they’re more likely half-siblings. Or cousins.”
I stiffened, but forced my breathing to remain slow.
Naia’s voice was skeptical. “I find that hard to believe. Those two are polar opposites. Even with my issues with her family, Ashe isn’t a murderer. Perin gets off on other people’s pain.”
Cordelle sighed. “I’ll do more research. Maybe the bloodline was lost in the early years of the Unification. But if a noble—well, you know.”
“Knocked boots with a commoner? Yeah.” Naia let out a humorless laugh. “It’s the reason most of us are here.”
Cordelle hesitated. “There’s something else.”
“What?” Naia asked.
“The full-blooded fae struggled to control this power. I think there is more to it than just controlling the weather,” Cordelle murmured. “It was rare, even among them.”
Naia’s voice was a rough whisper. “Like that isn’t powerful enough. What happened to them?”
Cordelle’s answer sent ice through my veins.
“They died… or turned dark.”