Chapter 21 #2
I breathed out shakily, closing my eyes. The weight of my grief was still there, but somehow, Kaelith’s words cut through the worst of it.
Rest now, she whispered. I will not let you fall.
For once, I believed her.
The room was suffocatingly quiet when I walked in, every one of my squadmates rising from their bunks as if they’d been waiting for me. But instead of suspicion in their eyes, I saw something else—concern.
“What happened?” Riven asked, stepping closer.
I let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “It was my father.”
Jax’s brow furrowed. “Your father? How the hell did he even get inside the castle?”
“I have no idea who he bribed,” I admitted, shaking my head. “But he obviously has connections.”
“What did he want?” Jax pressed.
And there it was—the moment I’d been dreading. The moment I’d either have to trust them or risk losing the only home I had left. I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of their eyes on me.
“He wants me to spy for him,” I said finally, my voice almost a whisper. “On the guilds... and the castle.”
The silence that followed was suffocating. It stretched and twisted like a noose tightening around my throat. No one moved. No one even breathed.
“What did you say?” Naia’s voice broke the stillness.
“I said no.” My voice cracked, and I forced myself to push through it. “And he disowned me. Every member of the order will avoid me now. They won’t look at me, speak to me... I’m dead to them.”
“Pig,” Ferrula muttered, venom dripping from the single word.
Riven walked over and wrapped an arm around me, her grip solid. “We’re your family now,” she said fiercely. “Your father’s a fool.”
I shook my head. “That’s the thing... he isn’t. I’m surprised he let me go so easily. Usually, being released from the Order is a death sentence.”
Jax swore under his breath. “You’re a rider now. Killing you would be a direct assault on the kingdom’s defenses. He can’t touch you.”
“But what if he already has?” I shot back. “What if he’s the one who had the warder killed?” My chest tightened. “Solei was here last night.”
Naia hissed a curse. “If your father’s working against the crown, we’ll bring him to justice.”
“I wish it were that easy,” I muttered.
“We’ll figure it out,” Cordelle said, his voice softer than usual. He smiled—a genuine smile—and something inside me steadied.
“Together,” he added.
The knot in my chest loosened slightly, and for the first time in hours, I felt like I could breathe again.
There was another knock at the door.
“Fuck me. What now?” Jax hissed before he yanked it open.
Zander Rayne stood there, his sharp gaze locking immediately on me.
“A word, Prospect Rebec.”
I sighed and slid out the door, closing it behind me but staying close enough that the heat from inside still lingered against my back.
“What can I do for you, Lieutenant Rayne?”
“So formal tonight?” he said, his tone clipped. His hands twitched at his sides like he was barely keeping himself from pacing. Whatever this was, he was wound up about it.
“What do you want?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“Your father just left the castle.”
“I know. He summoned me,” I said tightly.
Zander’s gaze sharpened. “Who is his contact?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “And if you’re asking me to spy on him, you’re too late. He already asked the same thing of me.” I paused, jaw tightening. “When I refused, he disowned me.”
Zander’s expression softened, but only slightly. “I didn’t know that.”
“Well, now you do.” My voice hardened. “I won’t be anyone’s pawn. Not his, not yours.”
“This isn’t about you, Rebec.” His voice dropped low, almost a growl. “He’s playing with forces he doesn’t understand. If he keeps pushing, people are going to die.”
“Then you’d better stop him,” I said, stepping back toward the door. “But don’t expect me to betray him to do it.”
I turned the knob, but Zander’s hand shot out, catching my arm. His grip wasn’t painful, but it was firm.
“If he comes back with blood on his hands...” Zander’s voice was low, dangerous. “You’ll have to decide where your loyalties really lie.”
“I already have,” I snapped, jerking free.
Zander’s eyes held mine, his gaze sharp but not unkind. The tension between us was a tangled knot—tight and suffocating.
Zander’s gaze sharpened, like he was trying to read something behind my eyes—a skill I hated because he was far too good at it.
“You actually refused him?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but there was enough doubt in it to make my temper flare.
“Yes,” I bit out. “I already told you he disowned me. Said I was nothing to him now.” My voice cracked at the end, and I clenched my jaw to swallow down the ache rising in my chest.
Zander’s expression softened, but it still made me uneasy. “That’s not exactly a small thing,” he said carefully.
“I didn’t do it for you,” I snapped. “Or the castle, or the crown, or whatever noble cause you’re pretending to care about. I did it because I’m tired of being manipulated. My whole life, I’ve been someone’s pawn. My father. The Order. The king. I’m done.”
“Good.” His voice was quiet. “Because if you’d said yes, I’d have been forced to kill you.”
I snorted, half from disbelief, half from the sheer audacity. “Charming.”
“I’m serious.” His gaze darkened. “Your father’s playing a dangerous game. If you’d chosen his side...”
“You think I don’t know that?” I stepped closer, voice lowering.
“I told him no, Zander. He disowned me—tossed me aside like garbage. I have nothing. No family. No Order. No home.” I swallowed hard.
“I know what I am. A thrall. A rider without a bond. Just another commoner you can pretend to tolerate.”
Zander’s face shifted then—the cold detachment slipping just enough for something warmer to flicker in his eyes.
“You’re wrong,” he said quietly. “You’re not just a rider. You’re Kaelith’s rider. You’ve held your own when most would’ve broken. And you’re not alone.”
I laughed bitterly. “I’m as alone as it gets.”
“You have your squad,” Zander countered. “And whether you like it or not, you have me.”
I blinked. “I don’t want your pity.”
“You think this is pity?” His voice dipped low, something dangerous curling beneath it. “You think I’ve spent all this time pushing you, watching you, because I feel sorry for you?”
“Then why?” I demanded, stepping forward until there was barely a breath between us. “Why do you care?”
His eyes held mine, the tension snapping as tight as a bowstring. “Because you’re not nothing,” he said, his voice more like a growl. “And I sure as hell won’t let you believe that you are.”
I stood there, speechless, my heart hammering in my chest. He shifted back, just enough to put space between us.
“Get some sleep,” he muttered. “And stay out of trouble.”
I stared after him as he walked away, his words lingering long after his footsteps faded.
Why did he care?