Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
R achel would miss the days when she stayed at Sweet Mountain Ranch, but with each day her health improved. It was time for her to return to her apartment. When she received a call from the school’s district office asking if she could substitute for another teacher at the elementary school, she felt God’s gentle voice urging her to move on.
Madeline cried and hugged her when Rachel told Levi she’d been asked to teach and was ready to return to her apartment. Levi stood behind the child. Concern in his eyes, he rested a gentle hand on her shoulder, though he looked at Rachel. The shuttered look in his eyes filled her with disappointment and embarrassment. While she stayed at the ranch, she’d let the walls around her heart fall away. She thought he returned her feelings. She’d felt closer to him. She’d been mistaken. She could see the walls were in place. She’d misread everything about Levi.
She pushed those thoughts from her mind. Her concern was Madeline’s broken heart, not her own feelings.
Somewhat consoled by Levi’s touch, Madeline sniffed.
“I’ll teach at your school for a few days.” Rachel forced excitement into her voice. Kneeling in front of Madeline, she placed a hand on Madeline’s other shoulder and looked into her eyes. “I’ll see you then, just like I do now.”
“You will?” That made Madeline’s face brighten.
Rachel would see Levi, too.
Changes were happening everywhere. Felix could move more easily around the house. He was anxious to be outside, though Naomi was cautious and made sure someone was with him when he sat in the conversation set on the deck or that someone drove him in the old golf cart down to the barn.
Rachel’s throat filled with emotion as Felix climbed out of the cart and walked to each stall. He greeted the horses by name. He had missed being with the horses. His speech was clearer than before, and though hesitant, he enunciated each word.
Levi was busier than ever with his company. He didn’t talk about his work but he spent more time on his phone. Exhaustion filled his voice when he said he’d return to San Francisco for the launch of a new product. Rachel felt sad, too. She liked spending every day with him, but the still soft voice inside her heart made it clear it was time to move on.
The day after Rachel returned to her apartment, she was scheduled to teach a second-grade class. She rose early that morning to seek God’s guidance and bless her students. The excitement building in her chest made her anxious to be in the classroom. She would take over a class while the regular teacher spent a few days visiting her mother, who had experienced a medical emergency.
She took playground duty during the morning recess and was delighted when Madeline called out to her before she ran off with her friends. At the end of the day, she felt invigorated to be working in the classroom again.
After she dismissed the class for the day, she straightened her classroom. The light tap on the door brought her head around to Mrs. Whitaker standing in the doorway.
“Mrs. Whitaker, come in.” Rachel smiled and straightened.
“I won’t keep you.” Mrs. Whitaker stepped into the classroom and looked around .
So did Rachel. She had added a few items to the bulletin board. She wanted to make sure everything was in order.
“How did the teaching go today?” Mrs. Whitaker’s tone was casual, but her gaze was direct.
“I think it went well,” Rachel said. “I followed Mrs. Holland’s lesson plans. The students were excited about the science project she planned. They can’t wait to start their paper cup gardens.”
“I’ve heard good things about your teaching,” Mrs. Whitaker continued as if she hadn’t heard what Rachel said.
“Thank you,” Rachel murmured and wondered what Mrs. Whitaker would say next.
“I know you want a permanent position, which I hope to offer you, but I understand if you receive another offer, you’ll want to accept it,” Mrs. Whitaker said. “I can’t say never, because people’s lives change all the time, but should something become available, you would be contacted immediately, and we can discuss if it’s the right position for you and for the students.”
“I understand.” Rachel tried to ignore the disappointment welling in her chest. “I haven’t received any other offers, but if I do, I’ll let you know.”
“I’m sorry to leave you hanging, but someone with your teaching skills and your concern for the community is who we want on our faculty. Well.” Mrs. Whitaker seemed relieved to have had the conversation. “I know you're anxious to begin your evening, so I won’t keep you. Have a good evening, Miss Bonneville.”
“You as well,” Rachel said as Mrs. Whitaker strode from the room.
She didn’t know if she should be relieved or disappointed. If the school had an opening, she’d be considered—the operating word being “if.” She glanced at the clock. She had a gymnastics class to teach and needed to rush home and grab dinner while she changed into her yoga pants and top. Because of the warm weather, she decided to walk to the gymnastics center rather than drive.
An hour later, she rushed across the gymnastics center’s parking lot as Levi drove his truck into a parking space near the front entrance .
“Miss Bonneville,” Madeline called out.
Rachel turned to see the little girl waving to her from the truck’s rear passenger window.
“Hello.” Rachel waved to her.
Levi climbed from the truck. His smile slight, he nodded to her, then opened the rear door and helped Madeline out of the back seat.
Madeline rushed to Rachel and took her hand. “We got a new horse.” She spoke breathlessly. “He’s so pretty. You have to come back to the ranch so you can see him.”
Already Rachel missed her days at the ranch. “I’d like that very much.” She lifted her gaze to Levi’s and tried to ignore the tightness in her chest at seeing his changed expression. Maintaining her smile, she looked back at Madeline. “We’ll talk about it.”
The hope in Madeline’s eyes made her heart lift. The girl nodded.
“Let’s go inside and get ready for your class.” Levi rested a hand on Madeline’s shoulder before looking at Rachel. “I’m sure Miss Bonneville has things to do before she starts teaching you.”
“Yes, I do,” Rachel said too brightly. “I’ll walk you inside.”
During the class, she focused on her students and her performance, while feeling Levi’s presence. He watched Madeline. Occasionally he glanced at his phone, but his attention remained on Madeline.
When the class finished, Madeline rushed to Levi, who held her coat while she slipped into it. Rachel chatted with her students’ parents and discussed their children’s progress. When the parents left, she noticed Levi and Madeline waiting for her. She moved to them, ready to answer any questions they might have.
“We’re going for ice cream,” Madeline said excitedly. “Will you come with us?”
“Oh.” She looked at Levi to make sure Madeline wasn’t speaking out of turn. The look in his eyes was soft and gentle. He wanted her to come. “I’d love to.”
“Do you mind if we walk?” Levi lifted a brow.
“Not at all.” She laughed softly. “It will be nice to enjoy this lovely weather. ”
Because of the unusually warm fall day, the ice cream parlor was crowded, the ebb and flow of the conversations around them revealing the excitement of the customers as they gathered at the surrounding tables with family and friends. Rachel noticed some couples sitting alone and staring into each other’s eyes. Since she could remember, she had thought one of those couples would be her and Levi. He wouldn’t have time to think of a romantic relationship with her or anyone else. Still, she hoped.
Rachel, Levi and Madeline sat at the table near the window where they could watch the locals stroll down the sidewalk. Madeline talked excitedly about what she did in gymnastics class. Levi listened patiently while she explained the maneuvers Rachel had taught her, though he would know—he had watched her practice. The entire evening, his focus remained on Madeline.
He said little as they enjoyed their sundaes drenched in rich chocolate. He was more interested in what Madeline had to say. That she enjoyed gymnastics thrilled Rachel. She loved sharing her knowledge of the sport.
They finished their dessert and stepped out of the parlor, which was still surprisingly crowded. Another group rushed in to take their table.
“Can we give you a ride home?” Levi looked at her over Madeline’s head.
Rachel had thought to decline, but when she saw Madeline’s hopeful look, she agreed. She wasn’t teaching Madeline’s elementary school class. She needn’t be concerned should Mrs. Whitaker pop up and arch her brow. Rachel wasn’t turning backflips down the sidewalk.
At Levi’s truck, he helped Madeline into the back seat. Rachel reached for the door.
“I’ll get it for you.” Levi’s voice was low, but his eyes held a warmth that made her heart rise. He closed Madeline’s door but didn’t open hers. “Madeline invited you to the ranch to see our new horse. I didn’t mean for her to put you on the spot.”
“She didn’t.” Rachel blinked in surprise .
“If you’d like to come, can you come Saturday? I know you’ll teach her gymnastics class in the morning. Can you come after that and have lunch with us?”
“Saturday would be perfect.” Her shift at the diner didn’t start until five o’clock.
“Good,” he said quietly. “If you want to come at eleven-thirty, we’ll eat lunch at noon.”
“I look forward to it.”
He opened the door for her and helped her inside. At her apartment building, he walked her to her apartment door.
“I’m sorry I’ve been distracted,” he said, the roughness in his voice surprising her. He rarely showed emotion—he was head of the company. He knew how to be in control.
“It’s fine,” she said quickly. She should learn from him how to manage her feelings.
She thought he’d say more. Instead, silence rose between them.
“Good night, Rachel.” He didn’t move making her realize he waited for her to step into her apartment.
“Good night.” She turned away. Unlocking her door, she stepped inside. She didn’t move away from the door until she heard the truck engine start and fade into the distance.
Lord, I’m so confused. You know there’s nothing I’ve wanted more than to be married to Levi McSweeney.
There, she’d thought what had been in the back of her mind since she could remember. Why did this longing have to hurt so much? The moments when he seemed to feel as she did faded quickly making her wonder if she’d imagined a look or read too much into his words. Maybe he wasn’t aware of how she felt. He had said he’d been distracted.
Please take away this desire, Lord. Let me feel nothing for this man.
Was she asking the impossible? She’d always felt something for Levi.
With strength that wasn’t her own, she gave her dream to God. Now she would trust Him.