Chapter 18 #2
coffee right away. “I’m so glad I caught you alone,” his mom said and reached
across the table to pat his hand.
“Is that why you’re in town?”
“No,” she said, laughing. “I need to pick up a few things at
Abe’s Variety. Although I wouldn’t mind spotting a movie star or two.”
Clint smiled. “I don’t think any of them are in town
today.”
“Is Lila working?”
He nodded, hoping the conversation wasn’t about to get awkward.
“What is it you wanted to talk about?”
“You taking over the ranch.”
Clint nodded at the waitress as she set down their coffees, and
then he looked at his mom. “Didn’t Dad tell you I gave him my answer?”
“He did.” She stirred sugar into her cup. “And I’m so proud of
him for telling you to wait.”
Clint sighed. He knew she meant well, but damn... “It’ll be the
same answer after Christmas.”
“Have you said anything to Lila?”
“She has nothing to do with it, Mom.”
“Don’t you think she should?”
He turned to stare out the window for a minute. “Look, do I
like her? Very much. Can I see the two of us together in a year? No. She’s an
actress. She plays it down, but in a few months she’ll have a part in a movie
that will be a major game changer for her—”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, I know all about that,” she said,
waving a hand. “And about that Caribbean cruise your dad booked, too. So don’t
let that influence your decision.”
“How?”
Laughing, she shook her head. “Your dad, bless his heart,
forgets I pay the bills. I saw the charge on last month’s statement. In fact,
I’ve got to pick up some Scotch tape to leave around before he drives me crazy
looking for it. I’m assuming he wants to wrap the tickets.”
“And Lila?”
“We had a few private minutes in the kitchen.”
“What did she say?” Clint put down his cup.
“First, the woman clearly has feelings for you, Clint, and
don’t act like I don’t know what I’m talking about. Because you have feelings
for her, too—pretty strong feelings that might be making your thinking
fuzzy.”
“Mom,” he said calmly, “what did Lila say?”
“It’s more what she didn’t say.”
His heart sunk. He should’ve known...
“That girl isn’t cut out for show business. You say she plays
it down, the big part that’s coming up? Lila isn’t playing it down, Clinton. She
doesn’t have the heart for it.”
He swallowed. This was torture. He wanted to believe that, even
while he told himself his mom was wrong.
“You listen when she talks about being in the movies. It used to be her dream. It isn’t anymore.”
He stared at his cup. Sure, he’d thought the same thing. For a
minute. Before he’d realized he was being a fool. “And what if you’re
wrong?”
“Well, if I am, it doesn’t change the fact that Lila isn’t
Anne.”
He met his mom’s concerned gaze.
“I know it crossed your mind, and then some,” she said. “I’d be
worried if it hadn’t. Lila is different. She’s had a taste of what it’s like to
be in all the Hollywood hoopla, and it’s not for her. She’s more of a homebody.
Glamour and fame will never take the place of having family around her. And yes,
I know you’re gonna say I met her for just one night, what do I know, but here’s
something else to consider. Her looks can be deceiving. Might be hard to imagine
her chasing after snotty-nosed kids and muddy dogs.”
Clint smiled a little at that. The thing was, he could see it.
Her. Him. The two of them chasing after kids in the damn house he wanted to
build. That was the problem. Lila was loyal to Erin, and she didn’t want to
disappoint her parents. He admired that, but it was another stumbling block. It
also lent credence to what his mom said about her losing interest in the
dream.
But he’d seen the regret in her face. He’d heard it in her
voice. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was talking to Jason right now.
Apologizing. Trying to get the role back. And if she didn’t, she’d always wonder
how her life and career could’ve turned out differently.
That would kill him the most. Watching her spend the rest of
her life regretting that she hadn’t made it to the finish line. And always
wondering what might’ve happened if she’d just gotten that big break she’d
worked so hard to get.
He thought about Nathan and the hell his brother had gone
through after Anne died. Not knowing about the yearning his wife had kept secret
had almost destroyed him. Clint agreed. Lila wasn’t anything like Anne, but to
wonder was human nature.
“Clint, do your old mom a favor.” She waited until he looked at
her. “Before you give up, talk to Lila. Ask her what she wants.”
LILA HAD BATTLED against nervous energy all day. That, and guilt. She had to talk to
Erin, who was crazy busy. Everyone was, including Jason, so just maybe he hadn’t
said anything to Erin.
At 5:00 o’clock she texted Erin their SOS signal. It meant drop
everything, screw everyone, come now.
As she waited, Lila bit her nails. She’d quit the nasty habit
eight years ago. Another reason to hate Jason the Weasel. “What?” Erin came
running up behind her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Maybe.” Lila swallowed hard. “I love you. You’re not like
a sister to me, you are my sister. You know that, right?”
“Lila, you’re scaring the shit out of me. So just say it.”
They were standing between two trailers. People could see them,
but not hear the conversation. It was the best location Lila could manage.
“First, promise you won’t hate me.” Lila wouldn’t cry. She’d
promised herself.
“You could never do anything to make me hate you,” Erin said.
“Oh, unless you don’t start talking.”
Lila gave her a shaky smile. “I quit. This morning.”
“You did not.”
Lila nodded. “I know I should’ve talked to you first, but Jason
made me so angry I just—”
“Don’t worry, kiddo.” Erin rubbed Lila’s arm. “He hasn’t given
the role away. I’ll talk to him.”
“Erin, no. What I’m trying to say is—” She needed to breathe.
“I don’t want it. I can’t do this anymore. I feel terrible. I do. We made
promises...we had plans...” Lila sniffed. “Oh, and I called him a stupid
fucker.”
Erin blinked. “You?”
Lila nodded.
“To his face?”
Lila sighed.
Erin let out a howl and hugged her. “I’m so proud! Pissed that
I wasn’t there to see it, but really proud.”
She freed herself from Erin’s strong grasp. “You understand
what I’m saying, don’t you? It’s not just Jason. I don’t want this anymore,
Erin. I hate being on location. I hate the—”
Erin’s and Lila’s phones buzzed within seconds of each other.
It was the second time for Erin, so she brought out her cell.
Lila read hers. Clint wanted to see her tonight. She felt so
giddy with relief, she texted him to come anytime.
“I have five minutes tops,” Erin said. “But I have a
confession, too.”
CLINT’S PALMS WERE SWEATING, so was the back of his neck. He used a
towel he had on the backseat, then got out of the truck. Lila’s text had said to
meet her at the hair-and-makeup trailer. He saw her coming from the back of the
lot, but Baxter intercepted her.
For once he didn’t want to strangle the guy. Clint slowed his
pace and used the extra time to steady his breathing. He was going to do just as
his mom suggested. Ask Lila. Straight out. She might give him a pitying look,
but she wouldn’t laugh at him.
Lila was giving Baxter the strangest look, so Clint sped
up.
His back was to Clint. “You know, if you’d just be a little
nicer to me, I can make things happen for you,” Baxter said, reaching a hand out
to Lila, who started laughing.
“You bastard,” Clint said, and yanked the guy around to face
him. His fist slammed into Baxter’s jaw, and the man stumbled back.
“Clint!” Lila grabbed his arm and stopped him from taking
another swing. “He’s not worth it.”
Baxter sputtered, red-faced, trying to breathe. Several
bystanders applauded.
“Please,” Lila said, trying to drag him away. “I already quit.
Who cares what the slimeball says?”
Clint looked at her. Something was different about her voice.
She didn’t sound upset like she had earlier. She led him to the trailer, but
they didn’t go inside. “Are you saying you can’t get the role back? Is Jason
being hard-nosed?”
“Why would I want it back?” She seemed genuinely puzzled.
“You’re not having second thoughts? Because you sure looked
like it this morning.”
“I was upset because I hadn’t told Erin first. I haven’t felt
this good in forever.” She laughed, and the happy sound clutched at his heart.
“I’m finished. With all of it.”
Clint took her hand. “You’ve worked a long time for this. I
hate to see you have any regrets or wonder what could’ve been...”
“You’re right. I’ve been at this for a very long time. That’s
how I can be so sure it’s not what I want. This didn’t happen overnight, Clint.
Being on location and away from my family, and seeing the double-dealing up
close... I’m not cut out for this.”
“What about Erin?”
Tears glistened in Lila’s eyes, and Clint felt his little bit
of hope disappear. “Erin’s quitting, too. She was staying on to make sure Jason
let me have the role.”
“She’s quitting the business?”
“Not completely. She’s got a fantastic idea for another
documentary. She won an award for her last one.”
The new information was making Clint’s head spin. He wasn’t
sure what to say.
“I thought you’d be happy for me,” Lila said softly.
He met her steady gaze. “I want you to be sure, sweetheart,
that’s all.”
“Look, you’re going to believe what you want, but I’m telling
you, I’m done. And I’m walking away for me.” She turned her hand over and
entwined their fingers. “Hollywood was a fun dream—the best,” she said. “For a
kid with stars in her eyes. I’m twenty-eight. I want to get married, have
children, and I want to be there for them, always, just like my mom was there
for me and my brother and sister. I know it’s not chic or popular to admit, but
that’s what I want.”
Clint could barely breathe let alone swallow. Neither of them
had looked away once. He thought he could read her. But was he wishing for too
much? “What do you plan on doing after you finish here?”
“Well, I miss my family like crazy,” she said, and his heart
sank. Lila wouldn’t leave California. “So I’ll go visit them for a couple weeks.
When Erin moves ahead with the documentary, I figure I’ll help with that.”
They had ranches in California, quite a few from what he’d
heard. Maybe it was time to have a talk with Seth. “What about after that?”
“I’m not sure.” Lila looked nervous. Damn, he’d started
sweating five minutes ago. “Have anything in mind?” She put a tentative hand on
his chest, her beautiful blue eyes brimming with hope.
Relief and joy flowed through him like a spring river. Clint
put his arms around her. “Actually I’m going to talk to a guy about building a
house. Wouldn’t mind some input if you’re willing.”
“Yes,” she said, smiling through tears and hugging his neck.
“Yes.”
Clint froze. He did a quick replay in his head. Marriage had
been on his mind for a few days. Had he just asked her to— No, he was pretty
sure he hadn’t done that.
He leaned back and looked at her. “Lila, I love you.”
She nodded and whispered, “I love you.”
“You know we’ve only known each other three weeks.”
“I keep reminding myself of that,” she said. “It seems like so
much longer.”
“And I think you know I have responsibilities here.”
“I do know that,” she whispered, snuggling up closer. “But I
hope you can take a few days off to come with me and meet my parents.”
Clint’s chest tightened. He managed to nod. “Lila, will you
marry me?”
“Yes,” she replied, laughing and kissing him hard.
He held her close, breathing in her familiar scent, long after
the applause around them stopped.