Chapter 20
Ryan stared out his office window as the sun came up. He’d decided to come in early and get some paperwork done, but he couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with Brick.
Or what he knew his friends were planning.
He was being pulled in too many different directions, and he didn’t like it.
Helping Jace and Taryn seemed like a no-brainer, and yet his position as the police chief put a halt to that.
Then there was Brick. While his friends knew an undercover agent had infiltrated Boyd’s organization, they didn’t know it was Brick.
And they didn’t realize that Ryan knew about Brick, or that Boyd was the man who had Taryn’s sister.
“Fuck,” Ryan said and slammed his hand on the desk as his frustrations continued to mount.
There was a rap on his door. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. If he came in early, he was usually left alone. Didn’t seem like he would get that this time.
“Enter.”
The door swung open, and Clayton filled the doorway. “Mornin’.”
“What can I do for you?” Ryan said as he forced a smile and looked into pale green eyes that regarded him solemnly.
Clayton walked into the office and softly closed the door behind him.
He settled himself in a chair before Ryan’s desk and crossed an ankle over his opposite knee.
There might be gray at his temples, partially hidden by his Stetson, and a few more wrinkles around his eyes, but those were the only things that showed Clayton’s age.
He kept his body and mind in top shape as only an ex-special ops would.
When he didn’t speak, Ryan leaned back in his chair and folded his hands over his stomach as he returned Clayton’s stare. Clayton was a man of few words. He was observant, and just because he didn’t mention something, didn’t mean he hadn’t noticed it.
“You’ve been here several hours already today,” Clayton remarked.
Ryan shrugged nonchalantly. “I work a lot. You know that.”
“That you do.”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind. I don’t mean to offend, but if you have something to say, please say it.”
Without missing a beat, Clayton said, “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen you today.”
Ryan looked at the clock and saw that it was just after six. His gaze slid back to Clayton. “I didn’t see you.”
“I know. I saw you at four at the corner of Magnolia and Main as we pulled up next to each other. I waved. You had a peculiar look on your face. After I picked up some medicine for Hope’s allergies, I saw your truck at Velma’s Café.”
Ryan glanced at the mug of coffee with Velma’s logo on it. He had bought it, but he hadn’t drunk any of it. Nor had he touched the ham and cheese croissant he had ordered that still sat in the bag on the corner of his desk.
“Since the kids love Velma’s pastries, I pulled in to get some as a surprise for breakfast. I walked right up beside you and called your name. You didn’t even look my way. I went home and helped Abby get Hope settled then drove back into town. To see you.”
Ryan ran a hand down his face. “Shit.”
“I’m not here to pry. I’m here to make sure you’re all right.”
“Yeah. No.” Ryan scrunched up his face. “Hell. I don’t know anymore. I’m so fucking twisted in knots that I’m not sure if I’m coming or going.”
Clayton pursed his lips. “That’s what I figured. You usually handle stressful situations like a pro, which is why you’ve got me concerned.”
“I’m stuck.” The moment the words were out, Ryan sighed in relief.
That caused Clayton’s blond brows to shoot up on his forehead. “Women problems?”
“Oh, hell no.” Ryan had been down that road once before. He wasn’t going to travel that path again. Ever.
Clayton chuckled and held up his hands. “All right.” His smile died. “I take it this is about Jace and the others?”
Ryan squeezed his eyes closed for a heartbeat. “Have you ever known what you should do but were unable to do it because of obligations?”
“A few times.”
“What did you do?”
“I followed my gut.”
Ryan looked out his office window. “It isn’t that easy. If it was, I’d resign and join my friends.”
“I see.”
Silence stretched. It would be easier if Clayton asked questions, but he wasn’t that type of man. When he’d said he wouldn’t pry, he’d meant it. But his appearance in Ryan’s office spoke to his willingness to listen and offer any advice that was requested.
Ryan slid his gaze back to Clayton. “There’s another factor.”
“The undercover agent.”
It never failed to amaze him how intelligent Clayton was. The man never missed anything. Ryan nodded in reply.
Clayton removed his hat and set it on his knee before running his hands through his thick, blond locks.
“When you’re in a position of authority, things are always pushing and pulling at you.
Sometimes, we do what we have to do. Other times, we do what we want to do.
But there are rare times when those two are one and the same.
You have an obligation as chief and to the men and women who work for you. ”
“I also have an obligation to my friends,” Ryan added.
“Yes, and no. You and Danny offered aid, and Taryn refused it. You’ve done all you can as chief.”
Ryan leaned forward and rested his arms on the desk. “And if I have information?”
“If it was something that put them in danger, you would’ve already picked up the phone or gone to see them. Since you’re sitting here talking to me, that means it’s something else entirely. And I’m guessing it once more goes back to the undercover agent.”
Ryan didn’t respond, which was answer enough.
Clayton released a long breath. “Then you also have an obligation to this agent to keep him or her out of danger and continuing in their duties for the FBI. Seems pretty cut and dried to me.”
“If only it was.”
Clayton said nothing, though if the shrewd way his pale green eyes studied Ryan was any indication, his friend might have already pieced together the puzzle.
“And so your dilemma,” Clayton replied.
Ryan nodded once. “Yes.”
“Sounds like a tough one.”
“The toughest.”
Clayton lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I’m sure you thought that not too long ago when the rest of us went after the people who nearly killed Jace, kidnapped Brice, and attempted to kill Marlee. You and Danny warned us to stay out of the way.”
“If y’all had listened, Marlee would most likely be dead, and those responsible would still be on the loose.”
“I have the utmost respect for law enforcement of any kind. Numerous rules have to be followed, but it sometimes hinders you in getting the job done.”
Ryan quirked a brow. “There’s a but in there.”
Clayton grinned. “But . . . things are never black and white. Those who believe that are either na?ve or stupid. Of which, you are neither. You’re a smart man, Ryan. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be the chief of police, and the Texas Rangers wouldn’t still be trying to get you to join their ranks.”
“You know about that?” Ryan asked in shock.
Clayton chuckled and lowered his foot to the floor. “I could tell you that it’s a small town, but the truth is, I’ve got some friends who are Rangers. They speak very highly of you.”
“As a little kid growing up on the outskirts of Houston, all I wanted to be was a Ranger. My path took me on a different route.”
“You became a SEAL and then a cop. I’d say that’s a good road,” Clayton replied.
Ryan thought back to his difficult childhood. “There are a lot of other—hazardous—roads I could’ve taken.”
“What’s holding you back from joining the Rangers now? I think you’d fit in well there, but I’d sure hate to lose you. It’s been a long while since a Clearview police chief and our county sheriff got along.”
Ryan shared a smile with Clayton. “I like my job. A lot. I like the people I work with, I like Clearview, and I’ve made some incredible friends.
” He nodded to Clayton. “Like you. It’s not an easy thing to find people you trust with your life.
I had it with my SEAL teammates, and I’ve found it again. ”
“No matter where you live or what you do, we’ll still be your friends.”
“I know. But the dream I once had doesn’t mean as much anymore.”
“I think it means more than you think. It shifted without you realizing it.”
Ryan chuckled as he looked at the floor and realized that his friend was absolutely right. He met Clayton’s gaze. “If I joined the Rangers, who the hell would keep all of you in line? Danny can’t handle it by himself.”
Clayton let out a loud laugh. He had a smile on his face when he said, “I’ll tell you what I told Brice, Caleb, Cooper, and Jace—as well as my own kids. Follow your gut. It’ll never lead you wrong. In anything.”
“Thank you.”
Ryan stood when Clayton got to his feet.
They clasped hands and shook. Clayton flashed him a smile and walked out after putting the Stetson back on his head.
When Ryan took his seat once more, he didn’t feel as if he carried the weight of the world any longer.
He still hadn’t made a decision, but the path to it was clearing.
He hadn’t lied to Clayton. He loved his job, and if he joined Jace and the others on an unsanctioned raid on one of the businessmen in Fort Worth and things went badly, Ryan’s life as he knew it would be over.
He would no longer be a cop, much less the chief.
The Rangers would no longer want him. Everything he held dear would vanish.
But if he didn’t help his friends . . . he’d never forgive himself.