Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
B elle bit her lip. She dreaded the moment when she’d turn on her phone. Chad never called one time. She had to call him, but he could wait until after the children were in bed and sound asleep. If they knew he were calling, they’d want to talk to him.
She had called him after the cabin caught fire. He didn’t answer, so she left him a message. They had agreed all communications should go through their lawyers, but this was important. She thought he’d want to know. In her message, she reassured him the children were safe.
Apparently, knowing the cabin had burned to the ground wasn’t worth a return phone call. That made her heart ache. If only he cared about their children who loved him. He was their father.
In the message she left him, she told him about the cabin fire. If he learned the details from someone else, he’d accuse her of hiding information. She wanted to be open and upfront with him no matter the state of their marriage.
After dinner, her children were exhausted, so she tucked them into bed. When they fell right to sleep, her disappointment rose. She wanted to spend time with them. She didn’t want to talk to Chad.
Downstairs, she turned on her phone and stepped into the alcove near the front door. She didn’t listen to Chad’s messages. Instead, she dialed his number.
“Hello, Belle. Did you listen to my messages?” he asked.
“Hello, Chad.” She struggled to contain her emotions. “And no, I didn’t listen to your messages.”
Losing her temper could give him the ammunition he’d need to make the divorce difficult. She wouldn’t lose her children to a man who would use them as pawns.
The catch in his breath confirmed she’d chosen the right tactic. He had expected her to argue or cry. She thanked God for the peace that rested over her like a comforting hand.
“Have you contacted your parents?” The question was more of a demand.
She drew a breath. The next question would be about the will.
“Yes, why?” she asked tonelessly.
“I’m assuming they changed the will. Isn’t that why you said you wanted nothing from me?” he asked, dark anger in his tone.
She closed her eyes. He hadn’t asked about the children.
“If that’s the reason you called, then we have nothing to discuss. We agreed all conversations would go through our lawyers.” She kept her voice low.
“You broke that rule when you called me about the fire.” His laugh held no amusement.
“So you wouldn’t be worried about the children,” she said calmly, though she knew the comment itself had a bite. She felt him fight the temper that sizzled beneath his lawyer veneer. There was so much more she wanted to say, but she didn’t want the divorce to be complicated, which was why she hadn’t asked for anything. “I’m sorry,” she added quickly. She didn’t want to fight. She wanted to end the call. “Please ask your lawyer to call mine. It’s better if we approach the end of our marriage that way.”
“Wait a minute, Belle,” came his quick response.
She couldn’t wait. She couldn’t continue this conversation. She slid her thumb over the disconnect button. He’d try to bully her into asking her parents to set aside something for him.
Even if she did ask them, she knew the answer. What her parents did was for love for her. They would do nothing that benefited Chad. Her parents loved her and her children, and they made their own decisions, which was why when she married Chad they’d written her out of their will—not that she cared. Chad provided comfortably for the family, though it didn’t compare to the lifestyle her parents had given her. Too late, she realized Chad’s motive for wanting to marry her. She sometimes wondered if her pregnancy had been an accident.
The phone rang. Tears in her eyes, she pressed a finger to the power button.
Movement in the hallway brought her head up. She dashed away her tears, though she knew her eyes would be red.
In the archway stood Aaron, his jaw tight, his eyes soft.
“I’m sorry,” she rasped. “I didn’t think anyone else was up.”
“I was in the home office.” He tipped his head. “I heard your voice. I didn’t hear the conversation.”
“It’s okay.” She looked away. “I was talking to the children’s father.”
“If you need anything …” The wealth of feeling in his eyes made her throat close.
She fought against the tears that threatened to rise. Aaron had been that way fourteen years ago—there to help someone in need. She had admired his compassion but didn’t need any help. She knew where she was going. She knew how to get there.
How her life had changed.
“Everything’s fine.” She forced a smile, but his slow inhale meant he knew the truth. “I’m sorry if I interrupted anything.”
“You didn’t interrupt,” he said, his gaze direct.
“I better get to bed. And so should you. You’ve been up for twenty-four hours.” Her heart ached knowing he had to be exhausted.
She turned quickly. Her eyes blurring, she could barely see. One foot crossed in front of the other. Her stomach whooshed as she tipped sideways. Her yelp was soft, but filled with fear. She flung her arms out hoping to grab something and praying she didn’t knock anything over.
A powerful arm circled her waist and pulled her to warmth.
Humiliating heat radiated through her. How could she be so clumsy as to stumble in front of this man? He had to think her an oaf for her awkwardness.
“Are you all right?” His voice was tender and soft and stirred something within her that she tried to push away.
Looking into his eyes, she saw his concern segue into something that made her stomach flutter.
“I’m fine.” She wondered at the desire mounting inside her.
She’d always thought Aaron a nice guy. Looking into his eyes, she now saw him as so much more—a man with feelings. Shame filled her as she realized she’d never thought of him as more than a friend.
Slowly his arms slipped from her.
She looked down, disappointed in herself now and when they’d been kids. She prayed she hadn’t hurt him.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was rough. “I don’t know what happened. I’m usually not this clumsy.”
“I remember.” His tipped mouth made her wonder what he remembered. “Come on.” He straightened, though his gaze never wavered from hers. “I’ll walk you upstairs.”
She wanted to tell him he didn’t have to, but she’d said enough. Instead, she nodded. With him at her side, they climbed the stairs to her bedroom door.
“Do you think the kids would like to go fishing tomorrow?” He pushed her door open.
“Like? They’d be ecstatic.” The joy they’d feel filled her to overflowing.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Good night.” The way he looked at her now was the way he looked at her when they were teenagers—as a friend.
Had she read too much into what passed between them downstairs? What about the kisses they’d shared?
She was so confused, which was ridiculous. She was an adult. She was too old to be muddled about feelings. She helped her kids sort through their feelings every day.
“Good night.” She forced herself to look into his eyes, then offered a smile.
Stepping into her bedroom, she closed the door, then leaned her forehead against the wood panel.
Her behavior was ridiculous. She needed to straighten up—or leave. Her heart heavy with disappointment, she wondered if leaving was the right decision. Leaving would disappoint her children. They loved staying at the ranch.
So did she.
Trusting God would give her the strength to control her roiling emotions. She put on her night clothes and crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling. She was creating one problem after another. Naomi had concerns about her son’s feelings for her. Tonight, the way Aaron held her confirmed her feelings for him rumbled beneath the surface.
Releasing her emotions for this man would be a huge mistake.
A thought unbidden edged into her mind. What if Chad came to the ranch? Heat rose in her throat. She hadn’t told him where she was, but in this day of technology, it would be easy to figure out.
What would that do to her children? They would think he came to see them, and maybe he would have.
Would he come to the ranch, or would he send someone? It wasn’t like him to do something if he had someone to take care of a matter for him.
She took a breath. She refused to be afraid. She needed to sleep. She needed to be rested for her children. When they learned that Aaron would take them fishing, they’d be thrilled.
If Chad came to the ranch, she would face him. She would protect her children with her life. She wouldn’t face him alone, and she wouldn’t depend on Aaron to help her face him.
Her strength came from God.
Feeling more peace than she had in months, she relaxed.
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
She slipped into a restful slumber. Peace like a river blanketed her with warmth.