Chapter 10
I t was interesting that it took a walk with Ada for Cash to bring everything he knew back into his mind. To realize that he was going down the wrong road and that he had been upset and angry at people, and at God, too, for allowing it. And yet he hadn’t spent much time at all trying to figure out why God had allowed it and trying to submit to God’s will.
“I really appreciate you walking with me today. Even if you decide to turn down my offer, I feel like there’s been a shift in my thinking.”
“You reminded me of some important things too. You’ve also challenged me. I would have said that God is the most important thing in my life, and yet the idea of leaving my family makes me want to dig in my heels and say, ‘absolutely not.’ But is my family more important than what God wants me to do?” She shook her head. “I appreciate you showing me that maybe I was doing the wrong thing.”
They had made it the whole way out to the road, which was completely deserted this time of the evening, and they stopped for a moment, turning to face each other.
“You spoke about my proposal, and that made me realize that I actually hadn’t proposed anything to you. I talked to your brother, and I’ve gotten his permission, and I needed it, but maybe I need to tell you myself?”
“If you’d like.”
“I have a letter. It offered me one billion dollars if I get married in the next three days. The idea of marrying someone I barely know is...very foreign and almost repulsive, except... I don’t know that you necessarily need to be in love in order to form a lifetime union. I think you come to love each other, and you choose to love each other, because God commands it. I also think that we should work toward that, if we go through with it. I don’t know about falling in love and all of those emotions. I didn’t really feel that much with the person I was engaged to. I just knew it was time for me to get married, and she seemed like a good match. I guess.”
Looking back, he saw less and less to love in Abby, but he didn’t need to go into that now.
“Are you still heartbroken over your breakup?” Ada asked softly.
“No. Not even a little bit. I was more upset that I was going to have to pay for things to do with our wedding when there was going to be no wedding.”
“Deposits and such that you couldn’t get back?” she asked, seeming to understand.
“Yeah,” he said.
They stood at the end of the driveway, still looking at each other, enough light from the moon and stars for him to see her face and features and see that she looked perfectly calm. Not like she was contemplating a major life decision that could upend everything that she had ever known.
He found himself drawn to her, and he wondered if it was because he was hoping that she would say yes to his proposal, or was it because he really was naturally drawn to her?
“I guess I just wanted you to know that everything is in your hands now. I could have done what I did with Kendra, which was come in, not feel right, and not say what I had come to say. I felt like you were the absolute right person, and while I’m not entirely sure that it’s exactly what God wants for me, it’s definitely an open door that I would not have had if everything hadn’t happened in Virginia and I hadn’t moved to North Dakota and moved in with my aunt, and taken over managing her used-car business. It just seems like all signs are pointing to this. And my gut feels right about it.”
“You’re telling me that if I say yes, it’s a yes.”
“Right. And if you say no, obviously, it’s a no. I am content about this path, that it’s the correct one for me, and the next move is yours.”
“All right. I can guarantee you that I’ll be praying about it. I want to do what God wants me to, even if that means stepping out of my comfort zone, which is another way of saying leaving my family.”
“I wouldn’t want to do that. I told you I can’t promise that God will never call me away from North Dakota, or Sweet Water, or anything like that. But as long as I have the choice, and as long as I can, I’m going to stay here.”
“That’s fair enough. And I certainly wouldn’t even have asked for that much from you. Because if I’m sure that this is what God wants me to do, I shouldn’t have any guarantees about what my future holds. Not with where we live, or how healthy we’re going to be, or what kind of job you’re going to have, or our financial security, or anything. There are no guarantees.”
“The only guarantee is that God will take care of this. And that He’ll go before us, guiding us, as long as we’re willing to listen to Him and follow Him, and surrender to His will and way.”
“My head says I’m willing, but obviously I just found a few areas of my life where I resist.” She smiled gently, as though the idea were foreign to her, and she was a little bit amused at herself.
A small breeze drifted across the flat landscape and ruffled her hair. She raised graceful fingers to push it back.
The idea that in a matter of days this woman could decide that she would be willing to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him hit him hard in that moment. He was asking her to do something that was...unheard of and crazy. Was he being unfair?
“Do you think we’re putting too much emphasis on the money?” he asked, truly wanting her opinion. She obviously seemed like a person who tried to follow the Lord.
“I wonder that too. That’s honestly one of the questions in my mind. Is money more important to me than family? Am I doing this because of the money? When I’m trying to tell myself that I’m doing it because that’s what God wants me to do?”
“It just seems crazy to give up the opportunity for that kind of money. But maybe it’s crazy to consider getting married to someone you’ve only known for three days at the most.”
“Maybe none of it is crazy. Maybe God has a plan all along, and we’re just so steeped in our culture and the things that our culture expects from us that we can’t get ourselves detached enough from that to actually look around and see that this is exactly what God wants.”
They turned and started back toward the house, without saying anything. And he marveled again that she seemed to be so much what he wanted. And seemed to fit him without trying at all.
“Thank you for taking the time to talk to me this evening. Thank you for not dismissing this whole crazy thing out of hand.” He paused. “I don’t want to try to talk you into anything, but even if you say no to the three days and the billion dollars, I was wondering if I might be able to continue to see you?”
He tried not to hold his breath. He hadn’t come here tonight to do any kind of long-term arrangement outside of the billion dollars and marriage. But Ada, with her devotion to her family and her obvious love for Jesus, had struck him as the kind of person that he’d always wanted to be married to anyway. Why not admit that and admit that he wanted to have a relationship with her, regardless?
“So, I have to say that there’s something about you that is different. Different than the other guys I’ve been around, different than the vibes I get anywhere else from anyone else. It’s not...a crazy, falling head over heels in love with anyone feeling. But it’s a realization that there’s character and integrity and a seriousness about living life on purpose for God that draws me to you.” She swallowed and lifted her head to the breeze, as though soaking it in and loving the atmosphere and the wildness of the land around them. “I love living here. I love being with my family, but this feels right to me. That’s not an answer. I still need to pray about it and really seek God about it, but yes. I definitely would be interested in spending more time with you, even if we decide that a marriage in three days is too crazy even for us to do. Although, nothing should be too crazy for us if we know it’s God’s will, right?”
That’s the kind of woman he needed. Someone who wasn’t afraid to allow him to go after God with all his heart, no matter how askance the rest of the world was looking at him.
“Yes,” he said, firmly and with conviction.
They talked some more about the weather and about his business, and he talked a little about his parents and life in Virginia, and she spoke about life on the ranch. The time passed quickly, and he was surprised when they made it back to the porch.
He found himself not wanting to leave her.
“I imagine you work tomorrow?” she asked as they stood at the foot of the steps to the porch.
“I do. I can’t really get out of it. I did promise my aunt that I would do my best to turn things around at the dealership, and for the last two months, it’s been in the black, but I can’t let up. It needs to be better.”
“All right. I was hoping maybe you could come and I could show you around the ranch some...” She paused, a little smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. “Not that I’m trying to talk you into anything or to make you fall in love with it, I just...want to share it with you.”
He loved that. That she truly did seem to be interested in him beyond the billion dollars and the marriage. And she wanted to share something she loved with him.
“It doesn’t open until ten tomorrow. I could come out in the morning?”
“That’s fine. I usually help make a big dinner, but maybe I can talk Alaska into doing a crockpot meal where the prep would all be done well before you get here.”
“If you have me working in the kitchen, that’s fine.” He could cook well enough that he wouldn’t starve but not with any depth of skill. Still, he had a feeling that cooking in the kitchen with Ada would be more fun than doing anything amazing with someone else.
“I’ll try not to do that,” she said with a soft smile. One that he was coming to recognize and love. It was calming and sweet, almost serene. There was a gentleness about her spirit that gave him the feeling that she truly did trust the Lord for her walk in life.
“All right then, thank you for meeting with me this evening. I’ll be praying about this too, as I know you will be.”
“I’m sure that God has an answer for us, and I think I know what it is. But I definitely want to pray about it.”
“I don’t know that you would have been the right woman if you hadn’t said that you needed to pray about it.”
He didn’t mean that as a cushy, feel-good compliment. He truly meant it. From the bottom of his heart. If she hadn’t wanted to pray, he wasn’t sure he would have wanted to marry her. Or that he should.
He wanted to lean in and kiss her cheek, but instead he held his hand out, and she gripped it while they shook.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
“See you in the morning,” she echoed, nodding at him, standing for just a second or two longer than strictly necessary before her hand slid out of his, and she walked up the stairs, disappearing into the house.
Did he just spend the first of many nights with his future wife? Or was he falling for someone who wasn’t called to go with him but was rather called to stay with her family?
He supposed time would tell.
Lord, did You show me Ada so that I would know what I couldn’t have?