Chapter 16
C ash leaned back, his stomach feeling like it was going to burst. It was a happy feeling. He enjoyed his first meal with his new wife, and...it was really hard to believe he was married.
He’d almost put Abby’s phone call out of his head. Abby was... Different than Ada. More cultured, less apt to laugh. More self-aware. Ada had a natural disregard for pretense that he found charming. But, in his old church, with the huge amount of congregants that they had, someone like Abby would probably have been a better choice, since she was able to rub shoulders with the highbrow folks who put their check in the offering plate every Sunday and kept the church going.
He didn’t like the idea that he catered to those people, and he definitely did not do that in his sermons. But, the fact of the matter was, in order for the church to continue its ministry, it needed people to donate to fund the cause. He wondered sometimes if maybe he had gotten too deep in debt. The Bible warned about that, and he had never liked borrowing money, but they had been growing so fast, they needed a place for everyone to meet. He felt like he didn’t have a choice, and the board had agreed. But maybe they should have tried to think of other options. Perhaps two or three services on Sunday morning, or a service on Saturday evening, or perhaps they could have rented a place until they had the room they needed. Or, they could have built something that wasn’t quite so expensive, or extravagant, since they built a community center along with their new auditorium.
Regardless, it was done, but having a woman like Ada beside him, who was so conscious of frugality, would have been a wise move on his part. Still, he felt like he had been doing what God had been leading, and second-guessing himself never led to any good.
Ada had just said something funny, and he was laughing as his phone rang.
He wished he would have turned it off when he hung up with Abby, and was tempted to just ignore it.
“Go ahead. You can get it,” Ada said, waving her hand.
It was another number from the Virginia area code. It was not Abby though. He did know that. This time, he was not going to answer on speakerphone. That had been beyond awkward.
He swiped, giving his wife a smile, as she looked at the small amount of cheesecake left on her plate, but shook her head, and pushed her plate back.
“Hello?” he said. Wishing that he had his old phone and wasn’t answering blind. He really didn’t know who in the world this could be.
“Cash.” It was John.
“John,” he said, surprised. And then, the idea that Abby just called him and now John... Something must be up.
He still hadn’t figured out how he felt about Abby’s phone call. He was married, and she was too late, he definitely wasn’t doing anything to get her back. He wasn’t giving up Ada. But, if she had called them yesterday? What would he have done? He wasn’t sure. He really wasn’t. He thought he dodged a bullet with Abby, but the idea of having her beside him and trying to take his church back was very tempting.
“I suppose you’ve heard by now that Zoe has recanted her story. She admitted that she lied, and has publicly apologized. She actually asked if she could go to the front of the church on Sunday, and apologize to the entire congregation.”
It sounded like Zoe got saved. Cash’s first response was to be happy about that. And then, he felt anger creeping up his chest and around his neck and tensing his jaw and making his eyes narrow.
“So she lied. You know it now.”
“I knew it then. Cash, you know I had to do what I did.”
“I know.” But he didn’t have to be happy about it; it definitely wasn’t fair to him, no matter how anyone sliced it. And, he felt that the right thing to do was to not worry about the money the church was making, or who would be upset, and decide on the side of right. But, the doors of the office had been closed, and no one knew for sure exactly what happened other than just Zoe and him.
Now Zoe was telling the truth. He tried to shove his anger away.
He could hear John blow out a long breath on the other end of the line. “Cash. I’m sorry. That’s part of what this phone call is. I needed to apologize. I knew it as soon as I heard her. I knew you were innocent, but didn’t know how long it was going to take until the rest of the world knew it too. Now they do.”
“Good. I’m happy about that. It doesn’t really make any difference to me now, but it’s nice that my name was cleared.”
“Yeah. Well, there’s one other thing.”
“What’s that?” Cash asked, wondering if he was even interested. He’d like to just close the door on this chapter of his life, and move forward through the door that he and Ada had opened that morning. He had a new marriage, a new life. He didn’t know where God was going to lead him, but he was excited to move forward.
“We have one man lined up who is willing to take the church. It’s...not easy to find someone to lead after a scandal like this.”
“It might be easier now that everyone knows I was innocent,” he said casually.
“Actually. It’s going to be harder. Candidates questioned us about whether or not you were innocent, and I had to be honest. I had to say that I believed you were. It made them very leery about coming. After all, what happened to you and the board sided with the accuser, even though we were sure that you were innocent, and there was no hard evidence against you, it makes a candidate cautious about coming.”
“Yeah. I can see how that would work.” He wanted to laugh, because he found it ironic that they had been all righteous and thinking that they were going to do the right thing by siding with the woman who is always right even though she was lying through her teeth, and now it was coming back to bite them. But, he didn’t want to gloat, because that was wrong. God didn’t appreciate pride or gloating in a person. No matter how much they might feel like they were justified in doing it.
“Anyway. We have a Pastor Stone from Sweet Water, North Dakota who is interested in taking the position. He’s the only one who’s indicated that if we offered it to him, he would take it. But, the board has talked amongst ourselves, and we would prefer to have you back.”
“I actually know Pastor Stone." The man had just married him. “He’s a good man. I think he’d make a great pastor for your church.” There was a part of him, a deep, hard part of him, that wanted so badly to go back, to go back in a blaze of glory, with everyone apologizing and admitting that they were wrong. Of course, he would forgive them. That was the right thing to do, and he wanted to. But, there would be definite satisfaction in having everyone admit that they were wrong, and he was right. He thought it was probably a basic human desire to be justified, especially when one knew one deserved it.
“I agree with you. I interviewed him myself, and I found him to be well versed in biblical themes, and solid in the Bible and Bible doctrines. His stance on everything is driven by what the Bible says. I love that. And, it was easy to see his love for Jesus.”
“I agree with that,” Cash said.
“But, the church he pastors is small. Fifty members? One hundred members? Something like that. He’s...maybe not prepared for a church of this magnitude. At the very least it would be a steep learning curve for him.”
“I think he could handle it,” Cash said casually.
“I’m sure with the Lord’s help he can.” John spoke with sincerity. “But we would rather have you. Would you come back and at least allow the church to apologize? Maybe look around, and see if this might be where God’s leading you next?”
Cash realized the conversation was taking longer than he wanted to. This was his wedding day. His new bride was sitting across the table from him. He didn’t want to have this conversation go on and on, and once it was done, he was going to turn his phone off.
He mouthed, “I’m sorry,” to Ada, who smiled and shook her head. She truly seemed unbothered despite the fact that it was rude for him to have a conversation on his phone at the table. Still, she had told him to answer his phone.
“I’ll need to speak with my wife. I’ll see what she says, and I’ll have to get back to you.”
There was silence on the phone. He almost was tempted to count the seconds, because it seemed to stretch on and on and on.
Finally, John said, “You and Abby got married after all?”
“No. I met a girl here in North Dakota where my aunt is, and we just got married today. She’s sitting here across the table from me, and we’re having our wedding meal. So if you don’t mind, I need to go.”
“No. I don’t mind at all. I’m sorry I didn’t know. Congratulations.” He paused, and then he said, “Please, think about what I said. We, I, would really like to have you back.”
“I’ll pray about it. I’ll get back to you about whether we’ll visit or not.”
“Thank you.”
They hung up, and Cash took a moment to turn his phone off. Then, he shoved it back in his pocket and looked at Ada.
“I’m sorry. I am not going to answer any more phone calls.”
“That one seemed like good news,” she said. And then she smiled a little apologetically and lifted a hand up. “I hope you don’t mind that I was listening.”
“No. Not at all. You’re my wife. There should not be any business that I conduct that you can’t hear too. I just feel bad that it happened while we were eating. I wish I wouldn’t have answered.”
“But, you got good news, right?” Ada said, and he realized that she was making assumptions and guesses from what he had been saying, because she couldn’t hear John. And that he was being more rude by not explaining it to her.
“Yes. Very good news. The girl who accused me of sexually molesting her has come clean, and admitted that everything she said was a lie. All of it. And that my behavior has been above reproach. John, he was my best friend and my head Deacon, called to apologize and then, he said that the church would like to have me back.”
“That’s great news!” Ada said, and he honestly believed she meant that. Even though if he took the church up on it, she would be moved two thousand miles away from her family, and possibly never see some of them again.
“I guess it is. I suppose I’ve considered that God had shut the door, and I had said to myself that I was never going back. But I promised John I would pray about it.”
“That must be why Abby called you,” Ada said softly.
His eyes widened. He hadn’t put those two things together yet, but Ada’s deduction made perfect sense. Of course that was why Abby called him.
“My goodness. You’re right. She must have heard.”
She must have heard, assumed he was coming back, and wanted her original position as the pastor’s wife of a big mega church. There would be plenty of opportunities for outreach and she would have a platform that she hadn’t worked for.
“I’m sure she loved you too. She was probably really happy to hear the news.” Ada again sounded sincere. He believed that she meant what she was saying, but there was something in her voice. Maybe a sadness that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but that made him wonder if maybe there was more that she had already figured out that he hadn’t.
The waitress came back asking if they wanted anything else, and then set the check on the edge of the table.
He picked it up, pulled his phone out and used the code to pay. His mind wasn’t on what he was doing, though. He couldn’t have said how much the meal cost, or even how much tip he gave. He couldn’t help himself. He was excited at the idea of going back to the church that he started. It would require a lot of forgiveness on his part, but he was even excited about being able to minister there again. He loved the people there. Had loved them for years, and could understand why they had done what they did.
“I would have thought they would have filled that position by now,” Ada said, as he set the check down, and tucked his phone away again.
“Interestingly, they said that Pastor Stone had applied for the position, and he was the only one who had committed to going to filling the pulpit if they called him.”
“Wow. I would think a church that size wouldn’t have a problem. And, what is the chance of that?” She laughed. He had thought the same. What were the odds that the man they were sitting under now was the man who was probably going to be the next pastor of the church he just left.
“It’s like John explained to me, once the candidates heard what the church had done to me, how there had been no evidence against me, just the word of one girl who had been closed in my office for thirty minutes if that, and had absolutely nothing substantial to back up her accusations...if they had fired me over that, they found that their candidates were very leery to want to have anything to do with a church like that.”
Ada’s eyes opened, and then, to his surprise, she nodded. “That’s right. That’s exactly the way it should be. I know that it’s possible that a man can get away with something very dark and very wrong, but, when he has a reputation like yours, and the first accusations made against him are only by one person, and they’re questionable at best... I’m sorry. A man should be innocent until he’s proven guilty. And, I suppose they are reaping what they sowed.”
She gave a little smile. It wasn’t smug, but it was satisfying, like seeing God’s laws play out made her happy.
He hadn’t thought about it that way, and again, he had the distinct feeling that perhaps his wife was slightly more spiritual than what he was, and it made him feel offkilter. He would be more comfortable with a woman like Abby, to whom he knew that while she loved Jesus and wanted to serve him, he was more grounded in the Bible and Scripture than she was, and he would never feel like she was... Not usurping his authority, because Ada was definitely not doing that, but he didn’t like feeling that Ada was a little ahead of him in a way. What was wrong with him? Was that a male thing? Or was it just a preacher thing, where he felt like he should be the wisest person at the table, since he was the pastor.
He wasn’t sure, but the feeling bothered him.
“I think you’re right. I think that is God’s law playing out.”
“I wonder also if maybe they’re having money trouble. If that’s why they were calling you wanting you back.”
Again, he hadn’t thought of that, and was a little annoyed that Ada was so astute. Maybe he married a woman he couldn’t keep up with. That thought was a little disconcerting. Of course, he loved her brain, he loved her intellect, and he loved her spirituality. He wasn’t wishing that she was any less. Maybe he just wished that he was more.
“You could be absolutely right. I did think it was kind of weird that John was practically begging me to consider coming back. Maybe they lost big donors because of what they did, and they think that having me back would fix things.”
“Maybe. You have a charisma about you. Something that draws people. I think they see Jesus in you and that attracts them. And, with you gone, maybe people started leaving. Maybe they’re afraid that a new preacher won’t bring those people back.”
“That’s reasonable. I hope they’re not though, but it’s quite possible. I wondered at times if maybe we didn’t bite off more than we can chew, and get more in debt than we should have. The Bible definitely warns against it. But, I really felt like God was leading us in that direction. So I’m torn about that.”
“Maybe he was leading you in that direction because he had some lessons he wanted to teach people.” Ada lifted a shoulder, but he found her words again to be very wise.
He wanted to marry someone who would make him better, and Ada was definitely that person, but he had to be careful, because there were times where she made him feel inferior. And it wasn’t because of anything she was doing, it was just because of him not meeting his high expectations of himself. It was a new feeling, and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. As much as he thought Ada was almost perfect.
“Are you considering it?” she asked, and from the expression on her face, it didn’t seem like it mattered to her one way or the other. That she had total confidence that he would decide what was best for both of them.
“Not really. I felt like God closed that door, and I have no intention of looking back. But John asked me to come back, to visit. Mostly so the church could apologize to me, make a formal apology. He felt he owed it to me, and... I guess I don’t disagree.”
“I definitely think they owe it to you!” Ada said, completely and totally on his side.
Maybe Abby would be on his side now as well, now that the truth was out, but it was a refreshing change to have someone who believed in him completely. He liked that. It felt good.
“I can’t argue with that. I do think you’re right. But, I don’t know if I want to travel the whole way to Virginia just so someone can apologize.”
“It’s the entire church that needs to apologize. Or at least the board members. And publicly. Because they made a public example of you, and they did that for their own personal gain, not because of any sense of justice or right.”
He loved how she pointed that out. And said it. Like they really hadn’t been biblical in how they had treated him.
“I don’t know. How do you feel about taking a trip to Virginia?” He realized he should have asked her that to begin with. After all, she was his wife. He supposed he could be given a little grace, since he only had a few hours to get used to the idea. And a day or two at most to even think that he was getting married to her.
“I’d love to. I’d love to see where you’re from, see your parents, see the church that God built and gave you. I think it will be a fun trip.”
“Maybe we could take a wedding trip. It would be a honeymoon.”
“A honeymoon to the church you used to pastor. That’s perfect.” She smiled, and he thought she might have meant it. Most women would have said they wanted to go to Hawaii or some kind of tropical, beautiful, exotic destination. But his wife... She was definitely one-of-a-kind, and far better than what he deserved.
He said a short prayer thanking God for giving her to him, and asking the Lord to help him appreciate all of her strengths, including ones that seem to outshine his. He didn’t want to be bitter and angry against his wife because she was good at things that he felt he should be better at. That was petty and wrong.
“All right then. I will check with Aunt Karen, because she’s going to need to handle the car dealership while I’m not there, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Shall we plan on it?”
“Definitely,” she said, smiling at him, as they nodded at each other, and then slid out of the booth, ready to go home and start married life together.
He realized there was something that he hadn’t talked to her about though, and he really needed to. After all, they didn’t know each other very well, and he knew he was a little nervous about that idea.
As he put a hand on her back and guided her out of the restaurant, he thought about how to phrase it.
Taking her hand as they walked down the street, he said, as casually as he could, “I asked Aunt Karen if it would be okay for you to sleep in the spare bedroom for a while. Just until we get used to each other.”