Chapter Eighteen
LILY
I woke to a heavy weight pressing on my sternum and the sound of deep purring that vibrated right through to my bones.
I cracked open an eye and smiled when I found myself nose-to-nose with Purrgatory.
My ginger fluffball was sprawled across my chest, his tail thwacking my stomach and his chartreuse eyes peering straight into my soul.
“Really?” I asked, my voice rough with sleep. “You couldn’t nap literally anywhere else?” Not that my room had much space. Or creature comforts, for that matter. I’d barely spared it a glance last night, but I’d seen enough to know it had a stone bed and not much else.
Purrgy blinked once. Slow and regal, like the pretentious beast he was.
Then he shoved his head beneath my chin and rubbed his cheek against mine.
That close, oh, I could smell exactly what he’d been eating recently.
And it didn’t smell good at all. Of course, that was an occupational hazard when one lived in Hell.
You ate what you caught. And for Purrgy, that consisted of smaller pests.
A sudden shift of movement drew my attention to the left, where Rathiel lay next to me, one arm cushioned under his head. Seeing as we didn’t have any pillows, there wasn’t much else of a choice.
Asleep, he didn’t look like the merciless commander who barked orders at everyone.
He didn’t even look like a dangerous vampire.
Or a demonically possessed fallen angel.
No, here, like this, he looked almost…soft.
For once, he was relaxed. It wasn’t a state I often saw him in.
For half a second, he looked almost human, an illusion that immediately shattered when his hand twitched and he reached for a blade.
I smoothed a hand over Purrgy’s side, then reached up and scritched behind his ear, quietly chuckling when he flopped over sideways, his dead weight draped over my ribs.
I had to admit, this was nice. Things had been so wild lately that I hadn’t found the time to spend with him or Vol.
I also hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it.
There was something soothing about a cat purring on your chest. Almost like it forced you to take a moment and just be.
“You’d still love me if I went full villain, right?” I murmured as I rubbed under his chin.
His response was to purr louder, which I interpreted as a yes. Or maybe “feed me.” With him, it could go either way.
My eyes drifted back to Rathiel, while my thoughts strayed to our conversation last night.
I’d finally revealed everything to him, and the relief had exhausted me—even more than destroying the pestilence.
It felt so good to get it out in the open.
It felt even better that he hadn’t abandoned me after hearing everything.
Not that I ever thought he would, but there was this niggling fear, one that wouldn’t shut up.
Now that he knew about it, maybe he could help me learn to control the darkness. With war looming on the horizon, it seemed like that might be an important thing to learn. The last thing I needed was to lose control while up against my father.
As though annoyed by my lack of attention, Purrgy pawed at my throat—claws retracted. Chuckling, I obliged and gave him another delightful scratch until he turned into a puddle of feline smugness. To him, I was just another body. A source of heat and affection.
“How’d you even get in here?” I asked the little tyrant.
“Eliza delivered him last night,” Rathiel mumbled, his voice all rumbly from sleep. “After she, Calyx, and Levi returned. I thought having him with you might help you sleep.”
Well, it’d worked, considering I hadn’t suffered a single nightmare last night. And it warmed my heart that Rathiel had thought of that.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said.
I tilted my head toward Rath, careful not to disturb the smug lump still purring away on my chest. Rathiel’s eyes were half-open, his celestial blues catching mine.
He didn’t move much, though. Just watched me with that soldier’s stillness that made me wonder if he’d even really been sleeping in the first place.
“Who said I was asleep?” he asked before reaching over to stroke Purrgy’s back. The cat responded by, of course, purring even louder.
“You certainly looked asleep,” I told him.
His focus locked on me. “Any nightmares?”
“None whatsoever,” I assured him, smiling. “Kitty magic.”
“Hey, it was my idea,” Rathiel muttered.
A laugh slipped past my lips before I could stop it. “Fair point. Thank you.” I leaned over for a kiss but winced when Purrgy’s claws snagged my arm. I sucked in a sharp breath and straightened out. Thankfully, the jerk dislodged his claws and settled back down.
“Ginger tyrant,” I mumbled.
I turned my attention back to Rathiel and snickered when I found him full-on watching me.
“You’re staring,” I told him.
“Enjoying the view,” he countered. “It isn’t often we’re alone.”
The smile slipped from my face the second he finished the sentence. The last time we’d been alone, Sable had died. At least here, things were different. Here we had our own room complete with privacy in an outpost brimming with my entire army. But Rathiel’s words still struck a nerve.
I cleared my throat. “Where’s Vol?”
If Rathiel noticed my mood change—which he always did—he didn’t say a word. Instead, he rolled onto his back and stretched. “He opted to spend some time away from the ‘furred demon’ as he put it. I think he spent the night in Eliza’s room.”
I extricated myself from the fluffy furball and set him on the floor.
He landed with a gentle thump, his tail flicking in complete disgust with me, then strutted toward the door.
When I didn’t get up to let him out, he shot me an expectant look over his shoulder and released a loud meow, a sound every cat owner in the universe understood.
I pushed upright with a groan, muscles aching from sleeping on a stone bed.
The room spun a little, likely left over from the exhaustive magic I’d used to destroy the bomb but quickly settled.
Every inch of me ached, but that was part and parcel of sleeping in Hell.
My bed back on Earth hadn’t been the best, but it’d been a heck of a lot more comfortable than this.
What I wouldn’t give for something with memory foam.
Something that cradled my bones instead of broke them.
Once on my feet, I hobbled to the door and cracked it open just wide enough for Purrgy to saunter out.
A part of me worried the hellspawn might make a meal out of him, but I had to trust them not to.
Also, I’d threatened their very souls if anyone touched a hair on my furball’s head, and I’d meant every word.
I opened the door wider, about to step out and give any nearby hellspawn a death glare, when a strong hand closed around my waist and pulled me back. I stumbled backward into a wall of Rathiel, which was not a metaphor.
“Don’t go yet,” he murmured against my hair.
“I need to get out there,” I said, even though my body decided to lean back against him, without my permission. “I have corpses to raise and an army to train and—”
“Stay,” he said, his arm tightening just enough to remind me how good it felt to be held. “Just for a bit. No one needs you right this second. Well, no one except me.”
He tugged me backward until my legs hit the stone bed.
“Rath…” I whined. “I don’t think—”
“Exactly. Don’t think,” he murmured in my ear.
He dropped onto the bed first and pulled me into his lap like I weighed nothing. Heat bled through the thin fabric of his shirt, and his bare arms cinched around my waist.
“Everyone thinks you’re resting,” he murmured, brushing his mouth along my temple. “No need to rush.”
“You mean everyone thinks I’m fragile,” I countered, though the protest came out weak when his lips skimmed my hairline. My smart remarks usually had more bite. This one sounded lazy, softened by his hand splayed against my stomach.
“Fragile isn’t the word I’d use,” he said, low and certain. “But they’ll leave you alone if they think you’re sleeping. Which means…” His hand flattened just above my hip, fingers stroking idly as if reminding me exactly where I was. “…I get you to myself.”
His voice did dangerous things to me. I’d planned to walk out the door, bark a few orders, glare at a few soldiers—be the general they needed. Instead, I ended up sinking back against his chest, all my plans forgotten.
“Lucky you,” I said, turning my head.
“Lucky me,” he repeated.
Then he kissed me.
It wasn’t a frantic kiss. This one was slower, steadier. Like he meant to savor, not consume.
I wrapped my arm behind his head and plunged my fingers into his hair.
He groaned into the kiss, more a growl than a sound of pleasure, but it convinced me to turn in his lap and straddle him, my chest now pressed against his.
I reclaimed his mouth even as stone dug into my knees, but I ignored the discomfort. This was more important.
When we finally parted, I was breathing heavier than I would have liked to admit, whereas he looked annoyingly composed.
“Hmm, totally unfair.”
“What is?” he mumbled, his eyes half-lidded.
Okay, maybe not as composed as I first thought. Admittedly, I enjoyed seeing him a little fuzzy in the eyes. There was something powerful about befuddling someone with something as simple as a kiss.
When I didn’t answer, he leaned in and kissed me again, his arm hooking around my waist to lock me against him. Our tongues tangled, and the scrape of his fangs dragged a sound out of me I refused to acknowledge. His answering chuckle, however, sent blistering heat to my cheeks.
He hadn’t fed since the night before Sable died. He could sometimes go a week without blood, but I had a feeling he would need to feed soon. As much as I wanted to donate a pint or two, it didn’t exactly fit with my schedule. When Rathiel bit me, I tended to want more. A lot more.
Oh, but the idea was tempting.