Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
PAXTON
The cold air outside helps clear my head, but doesn’t seem to do anything for my dick. What the fuck was I thinking going at her like that? I’ve fucked up everything. This is all my fault, and I’ve lost any chance I had with Tilly.
By the time I trudge through the snow to get to the barn, I know that I have to go back inside and apologize. It probably won’t do any good, but I have to explain that I got caught up and took it too far. That I’ve wanted her for so long that the moment I got her under me, I lost control.
I’m so busy going through everything I need to say that I’m not paying attention to what I’m doing or where I’m going.
It’s why I forget to close the barn door behind me, and I don’t see the wheelbarrow or the shovel lying across it.
And I’m not looking for Dominick, who always loves to jump up and play when I come into the barn.
I’m so distracted that I’m in a daze until it all comes crashing down. Literally.
When Dominick darts out, I’m so startled by his presence that my foot catches on the wheelbarrow, and I fall on top of it. It sends the shovel flying, and I shout as I fall to the ground. The shovel sails through the air, and I watch it come back down before it smacks me on the head.
That’s all I remember before everything goes dark and then there’s nothing. I have no idea how long I’m knocked out, but I blink awake when something shakes me, and I see Tilly crouching over me with a panicked look in her eyes.
“Paxton.” She says my name like she’s already said it more than a few times. “Oh thank god you’re not dead.”
“I’m not?” The words come out groggy as a cold shiver runs through me. Why am I so damn cold?
“You’re bleeding.” Tilly is holding a towel in her hand, and it’s bloody. It looks like one of the ones I keep in the barn for medical emergencies. Am I in the barn? “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
There’s no way she can lift me up, but I’m able to lean on her as we half walk, half stumble back to the house.
I’m so dizzy that I feel like I’m going to throw up, which means I probably have a concussion.
We manage to make it to the porch without incident, and when we walk inside, I go straight for the couch.
The power flickers when I sit down, and I curse.
“What do I do?” Tilly looks panicked as she bends over me, looking at my head.
I can feel it throbbing where the shovel hit me, but I have no idea how bad it is. “I’m sorry.”
“What?” She looks confused as she holds the towel to my head.
“About before.” I close my eyes as the dizziness takes over again. “It was too fast, and I messed up.”
“Oh,” she says, her voice soft.
“I was trying to think of what to say when I tripped.” When I open my eyes to look at her, she won’t meet my gaze. “I’ve wanted you for so long, and I lost control. I should have stopped it from getting out of hand so quickly.”
“It’s fine. It wasn’t a big deal.” She still won’t look at me, but I can see she’s trying to hide her feelings.
“It was a big deal for me,” I say, and finally she looks at me. Reaching out, I take hold of her free hand and squeeze it gently. “You’re important to me, Tilly. I’ve been trying not to fuck this up, and then I practically mauled you and you’re—”
“A virgin, so what.” She’s suddenly angry as she jerks her hand from mine. “I’m not ashamed of it. I was waiting until I found someone I could spend the rest of my life with. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I agree,” I say, but she’s already cutting me off.
“You know I thought you’d be different, Paxton, but I should have known better. Everyone told me to give you a chance, and that you were a nice guy, but clearly you’re a player.”
“A player?” Did I get hit in the head again?
“You were outside so long I thought something happened to you. I wanted to leave you in the cold, but I didn’t because I’m a good person.”
“You are,” I say, but she doesn’t seem to hear me.
“Is this even real blood?” She narrows her eyes on the towel. “This was all part of your plan too, wasn’t it? How does this usually work on the dating app? Do you lure women here and then get injured so they take care of you? Well, I won’t be fooled.”
She tosses the towel at me and backs up.
“Tilly, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fairly sure I have a concussion, so could you explain a little slower?”
“Molly told me,” she says, raising an eyebrow like she’s made her point.
“She told you what, exactly?”
“Don’t play dumb with me.”
“I swear I’m not playing.” I feel something running down the side of my face and assume it’s blood, so I press the towel to it.
“Oh shit, you’re really bleeding?” She comes back over and holds the towel to my head. She bites her bottom lip like she’s uncertain before letting out a long sigh. “Molly told me she found your dating profile.”
“I don’t have a dating profile.” I blink at her, but she seems skeptical.
“You don’t have to lie—”
“I’m not. I swear I genuinely don’t. Here, you can go through my phone.” I take it out of my pocket and hand it to her. “I’ve never had a dating profile and don’t want to have one.”
“Then someone is impersonating you online. Molly said there’s even a picture of your tattoo.”
“That’s impossible,” I say, the fog of confusion combined with the head injury making my thoughts go slowly. “The only person that’s taken a picture of it was the guy in town. What’s his name at the tattoo shop?”
“Brian?” He owns the shop, but he wasn’t the one who did the tattoo. I nod, but that was a mistake because it makes my head swim. “Oh god, that sounds like something Brian would do,” Tilly muses.
“Pretend to be someone else?”
“Yeah, we used to call him Creepy Brian. He’s kind of known for being, well, a creep.”
“He didn’t advertise that on his shop window.” This time when I reach for her, she doesn’t back away. I pull her onto my lap, and the feel of her in my arms makes me forget about my head. “Tilly, I’m not trying to find someone else. There’s no one else I want.”
“There’s no one else I want either.” Her voice is soft, and it feels like she’s confessing a secret to me.
Maybe it’s time I confess something too.
“I don’t care that you’re a virgin.” When she starts to speak, I put my finger against her lips.
“I’m a virgin too.” I take my finger away, and her lips stay apart as her eyes widen like she’s in shock.
“I wanted to wait for the right person. My forever person. It was important to me to wait. Not because of religion or anything, but because I wanted to experience all my firsts with the woman I would be spending the rest of life with.” You can call me a sap, but love and intimacy are hooked together for me.
“Paxton,” she whispers, and my chest tightens.
“This is a lot to put on you at once, but I know you’re not the kind of woman to give second chances, so even if this is the wrong thing to say, I want to tell you now so you know where I stand.”
She searches my eyes for a long moment. “Well, I think in that case—”
The power flickers again and then snaps off, and she stops talking. “Hold that thought,” I say as she slips off my lap. “Let me go outside and turn on the generator. We should be good, and Dominick is…”
“Dominick is what?” she asks as I turn to look out the window.
“Tilly,” I say slowly as I step closer to the window. “When you came out to check on me, was the barn door open?” It’s swinging in the wind right now, and my heart begins to hammer in my chest.
“Yeah, I watched you go in, but when you didn’t come out, I pulled on my boots and went out there.”
“Did you see Dominick?”
“No, but didn’t you say he hides from new people?”
“Oh no,” I say as I rush to the door. “He’s on the run.”