Chapter Fourteen #3
Fuck the rules. Fuck professionalism. So maybe not that.
But maybe she could put some of the strict standards she always held herself to aside for once.
If she didn’t talk to someone about what had just happened, about what would surely happen again, she would combust. And then, frankly, Norah would be no good to anybody.
“Jamie? Can we talk?”
It was late, but Norah was still certain Jamie would be awake and, more than that, would be thrilled to hear whatever gossip Norah was about to feed her.
Her eager face emerged, just poking out through the tent’s opening.
“Ma’am? Everything okay?”
“Yes. Everything’s okay. I just need someone to…” Norah could hardly even say the words out loud. She wasn’t someone who needed to talk to her girlfriends about feelings or sex or anything even close. “I need someone to talk to. If that’s okay.”
Jamie’s eyes lit up like she was just gifted a Christmas present she’d been waiting all year for.
“Of course. Absolutely. Whatever you need.”
Norah gestured to her, and Jamie unzipped the tent the rest of the way.
“Is there somewhere we can be alone?”
Jamie smiled proudly.
“I know just the place.”
A five-minute walk later, they arrived at a clearing in the trees that overlooked an inlet of water.
It didn’t look like the usual swamp water they were surrounded by.
Instead, it was a faint blue-green, and even in the moonlight, small ripples brushed the shorelines.
Grateful again for the disguise of night, Norah sighed and sat down on the soft grass and stared out into the dark. Jamie followed suit.
Neither spoke for a while, Jamie seemingly waiting for Norah to take the reins.
“Chase and I had sex.” The words just tumbled out, landing in the quiet with a thud. Jamie remained silent.
“Ma’am, if I may…”
“Please. We’re Norah and Jamie tonight. Not Captain and Lieutenant. And for the love of god, remember this is—”
“Off the record. Yes, of course.”
Jamie appeared to collect herself for several seconds, and when she finally turned to Norah she was nearly bubbling to the brim with excitement.
“Tell me everything. How did it happen? Was it great? Was it weird? I need to know every last detail.”
A spurt of laughter left Norah’s mouth, and she felt immediately at ease.
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“The basics, obviously. God. Have you ever participated in girl talk before?”
Norah must have looked severe enough because Jamie immediately chimed back in with another “ma’am.”
She laughed again.
“I will admit, it’s been a while. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve had a friend.”
Jamie looked utterly thrilled at the labeling.
“I am honored to be your friend, then.”
“Likewise. And on that note, it had been almost as long since I’d had sex. I mean, until this afternoon.”
She recounted the day’s events all the way up to John’s fatherly scolding, Jamie hanging on her every word. When she was finally done, Norah stared at her expectantly.
“So? What do you think? I mean, this is crazy, right? A kiss is one thing, but I can’t be actively sleeping with the woman again.”
“Why not?”
It was such a simple question. One Norah felt like she had a million answers to and no answers to all at once.
“For one, we’re working together. It’s incredibly unprofessional. John already knows and thinks I’m the world’s worst, I don’t know, everything. And if the others find out, they’ll lose all respect for me.”
“Then don’t let them find out. It’s no one’s business.” Again, Jamie with the oversimplifications.
“Okay. Then what about the emotional repercussions? Do I need to remind you that Chase completely wrecked me all those years back, to the point where I hardly survived it? Why would I ever give her the chance to do that to me again?”
Jamie shrugged casually
“Who says she’s going to?”
Norah felt herself growing frustrated with Jamie’s nonchalance.
“History usually repeats itself.”
“Usually. But not always. It’s been a long time, Norah. A long time. And I do believe people can change. Isn’t it possible that what Chase did back then messed her up badly enough that it motivated her to do just that?”
The frustration ebbed, and Norah let her head drop heavy into her hands.
“Yes. I suppose it’s possible. But how can I know?”
“You can’t. You never can. All you can do is trust.” Jamie put a tentative hand on Norah’s shoulder, the warmth providing a calming effect Norah hadn’t expected.
Trust. How am I ever supposed to trust Chase?
“I don’t know what could happen if you go down this road.
You could get hurt again. Chase could get hurt.
All I know is most people would give their right arm to have someone look at them the way that girl looks at you.
And besides, you’ve spent so much time thinking about all the ways it can’t work out.
How about thinking about the ways it could? ”
Norah felt like a truck had hit her square in the chest. When had she stopped allowing herself to think about a good outcome?
It was probably sometime around when Davey died, and Chase left, and Norah realized good things never stick around, so you might as well mentally dig down and prepare for the worst.