Chapter Nine
“Lia!” Quynh rushed over to hug me. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m just so happy that you’re safe and that you’re here. And that you’re willing to see me.” I was hiccuping and sobbing at the same time, trying to calm down.
“Of course I want to see you. Why would you think I wouldn’t? You are my sister.”
I cried harder at that and let her lead me over to a chair to sit. She poured me a drink of water and put it on the small table next to me. Then she got a chair of her own and sat close so that our knees were touching.
When I finally got a hold of myself, I said, “Because I’ve been awful to Thrax and you love him. I’m sorry.”
She gave me the kindest smile and it made me want to start crying again. “Lia, you have nothing to apologize for.”
That wasn’t true. I understood that it might make things worse between us, but I had to be completely honest with her. “Did he tell you how I tried to attack him when I saw him wearing your bracelet?”
She took me by the hand. “He did. And I understand why you did it.”
“You do? Everybody else thought I was overreacting. Including me.”
“You dealt with a lot of suffering and trauma from what you went through in the tribute race, and you thought I was dead for weeks. The bracelet was the last piece of me that you had, and it means something special to you that it doesn’t to anyone else.”
“Yes,” I said, relief soothing my soul that she understood.
“Of course you’d have big emotions where the bracelet was concerned.”
I had to hug her again. “I thought that was why you didn’t want to come and see me.”
She pulled back so that she could look me in the eyes. “Because you wanted to attack Thrax? That would make me a hypocrite. Need I remind you that I’m the one who used to bite him?”
That made me laugh, which had been her intent.
“One of the kitchen maids seemed a little suspicious and asked me a lot of strange questions, some of them about you,” she said.
“I was trying to lay low and stay clear of you so that she wouldn’t make the connection.
She made me uneasy. I told Thrax about it and he kept an eye on her, but nothing happened.
He wrote her off as a nosy gossip. After the attacks on the palace, she disappeared.
I think she was one of the spies that were hiding in the city. ”
It sounded like the attackers had the same plan that Quynh did—infiltrate the palace kitchens to find out information. “Did you ever notice a reddish-brown tattoo of a hammer on her chest?”
“I never saw her with her tunic off. Why?”
I explained to her everything that we had learned so far, including Artemisia’s role in it and who Lysimache was. I could tell that she already knew about the massacres in Lycia and the temple; Thrax must have told her.
“I’m so, so sorry for your loss. All those women that you knew and lived with and cared about.” The sympathy in Quynh’s voice was almost enough to get me to start crying again.
“Honestly, I can’t let myself think about it too much,” I confessed. “I have to push it out of my mind.”
“You’ve always been good at that. Ignoring and suppressing things you don’t want to confront.”
She hadn’t meant it as a rebuke, but it felt like one. Changing the subject, I told her about the magic my adelphia and I could do and she asked so many questions about how it worked and how it felt.
“I am concerned that mine seems to be anger-based, when I’ve been trying to not let that emotion rule me.
” The constant anger was eating away at my soul, destroying me bit by bit.
It was exhausting. And I had witnessed what it had done to Lysimache.
It had consumed her, and I refused to become like her.
“You’ll have to show me your magic sometime,” my sister said.
“When I get stronger. Right now I pass out not long after I use it.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, and given her expression, I knew what she was going to say next.
“You should tell Xander about the eye.”
My guess had been correct. “I can’t. I think he would take it so that he could use it to protect Ilion, and I couldn’t blame him for that. I would do the same. I am doing the same. I need it for Locris.” I waited a moment and then asked, “You haven’t told Thrax, have you?”
“No,” she answered immediately. “I told you that I wouldn’t, and I won’t until you say it’s all right.”
“Thank you,” I said. I wondered if it was hard for her to keep things from him. I knew I had a difficult time of it with Xander.
“At least you don’t flinch every time I say Thrax’s name,” she said cautiously, as if she knew that we were about to enter dangerous waters.
“I’m trying to be careful and manage my reactions. I’m also afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting you.”
“Lia, you could never say the wrong thing to me.”
“Oh, I think I could,” I said.
“No, you couldn’t, because we are sisters and that will never change, no matter what either one of us does.
There is nothing but love and forgiveness between us and there always will be.
I want your honesty. I would never want you to pretend just because you’re afraid of how I might react.
Even if you hated Thrax, it would never change how much I love you. ”
“Stop that. I am trying not to cry!” I told her with a half laugh, half sob, tamping down the emotions swelling up inside me. “I have been making an effort where he’s concerned.”
Her whole face lit up. “I know. He told me. It makes him so happy.”
“Why?”
“Because he knows how important you are to me.”
That made me feel ashamed, that Thrax had wanted us to be friends for Quynh’s sake and I’d been awful to him.
Then she carefully added on, “And he knows how important you are to his brother.”
What she’d said earlier was right—I did ignore and suppress things I didn’t want to deal with. And I fully intended to do so right now. “What is it you love so much about Thrax?”
She gave me a knowing look, telling me she understood exactly what I was doing, before a silly, lovesick smile settled on her face. “So many things. He is kind and loyal and strong and brave and smart and funny and . . . Sorry, I could go on like that for a while.”
I understood the feeling, so I nodded.
“I realized how I felt when he took me into the city. Troas is such a metropolitan center that there are people from all over the world here. There is an entire quarter of people from Goguryeo and neighboring nations. The first time Thrax brought me there . . . it was overwhelming. The smells of the food—it took me back to my parents and my village growing up. I hadn’t smelled those spices in so long!
And the language! I understood it when the people around me spoke it, and it was like getting a piece of myself back.
It was as if Thrax understood how much that would mean to me.
He had given me something I never thought I would have again, and that was when I knew that I loved him. ”
I realized with a twinge of sadness that Quynh was going to be happy in Ilion.
Not just because of Thrax, but because of the connection she would have here to people from the land of her birth.
That was not something she would ever have in Locris.
“Was that before or after you told me he was only your friend?”
Shame filled her eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I knew how you felt about him. I was trying to make things easier for you but I should have been honest. I knew that it would hurt you if you discovered that I was falling in love with someone from Ilion.”
I thought of how I had cried in Xander’s arms when he told me that Thrax and Quynh loved each other and had spoken the words.
“You did tell me to choose a life for myself,” she said. “This is the life I choose.”
It took me a moment to remember when I’d said that to her. “I was talking about Andronicus.” He was the captain of my former regiment and had been courting Quynh before we were chosen for the tribute race.
“Andronicus? I haven’t thought of him in so long.”
“I thought you were falling for him.”
She looked incredulous. “I never felt about Andronicus the way that I feel about Thrax. It’s like comparing a single drop of rain to the entire ocean.”
I nodded. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way because all Thrax has done is love you and take care of you, but there is a part of me that feels like he’s taking you away. Like I’m losing you.”
Now she took both of my hands in hers. “Lia, I promise you that you are never going to lose me. You’re just going to get more people to love.”
At that I let out a short bark of laughter. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to love Thrax.”
“Give him time,” she said with a knowing smile. “He will win you over like he did with me.”
“Maybe.” I wasn’t sure I believed it, but I would say it for her benefit. Even if she thought I couldn’t say or do anything that would make her turn away from me, I was fairly certain that I could.
“This was always going to be our fate,” she said softly. “I was not going to live with our family forever, and neither were you. We were meant to grow up and move away to start families of our own.”
I wouldn’t. That wasn’t my destiny. “You know the prophecy about me being the savior. I’m supposed to die.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care what some prophecy says. If there’s anyone who can circumvent a goddess, it’s you. I believe in you.”
“Even if I did, war is still coming. People are going to die.”
“I know. Thrax is so worried. He’s talked multiple times about putting me on a boat back to Locris or letting Basileia take me to Thrace.”
“On this topic he and I agree completely.” I would be much happier knowing that Quynh was far away from here and not in the path of danger.
My sister got that determined look in her eyes that I knew all too well. “I’m not leaving. I’m going to stay right here. Whatever your fate is, Thrax’s fate, mine will be the same.”
Perhaps Thrax would be able to find a way to convince her.
I just nodded and smiled as if I agreed, but I made a mental note to find him later to privately discuss a possible plan for getting Quynh to safety.
Maybe we could give her one of Io’s sleeping potions, and by the time she woke up, she’d already be in the middle of the ocean headed for Locris.
This was so strange, me wanting to scheme with Thrax. The world had certainly turned upside down.
“If you are planning on staying here,” I said, “then I’m glad you’re out of the palace. I will miss you being close by but I will sleep better knowing you’re safe and hidden.”
The grimace on her face made me think she didn’t share in my sentiment.
“Are you enjoying being here?” I asked, wanting to look for good things about her current arrangement in hopes that she wouldn’t get upset about it.
“I’m so used to working that it’s been strange to not be busy all day.
I have plenty of books and I’ve been cooking and cleaning, which has been strangely comforting.
I have a loom to weave on. Basileia is a fun companion and we’re enjoying each other’s company.
I’m not certain how long Thrax wants me to stay here.
I’m guessing until Xander is made king and everything’s settled. ”
Not if I had anything to do with it. I wanted her here where she was safe.
I did have to make one last attempt to get her to see reason before I possibly stooped to subterfuge.
“I actually agree with Thrax and Basileia and think you should go somewhere else. Because it’s not just Xander being made king now—it’s the battle that’s coming. ”
“I told you, my place is here. With you, my sister . . .” Her voice trailed off as she took her right hand away and placed it over her stomach. “And with Thrax, the father of my baby.”