Chapter Nine #2
Yeah, I wanted to be free from this thing.
I wanted it more than anything. But if my freedom meant that someone else had to live this way …
then I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t wish this hell on my worst enemy.
So, I kept the Beast fed enough to stay inside me, no matter that doing so meant that I remained monstrous, too.
But, oh, some days I thought about what might have been, if we’d never gone on that camping trip. Would I have achieved my teen dream of becoming a rock ’n’ roll violinist? Would I have fallen in love? Gotten married? Would I have been … happy?
Remy said nothing as a treacherous tear slipped down my cheek. He only caught it and brought it to his lips.
I should’ve been upset by the gesture. I wasn’t.
He’d been bare and bloody in front of me after what the Beast had done to him.
Now I was bare and bloody, too, except my bleeding was emotional and my nakedness was my deepest fear on display.
His tasting my tear was just one more intimacy between us.
“You’re right,” I whispered. “But you can’t help me.” He’d already tried, and it hadn’t worked. “Only I can keep the Beast from hurting other people, at least most of the time.”
He leaned down until his forehead nearly touched mine.
“I can help you. You saw how quickly I heal. You also know how old I am. I can share my powers of rejuvenation with you. Then, as long as I live, you won’t ever become old, infirm, or sick.
That means the Beast can’t use your human frailty to transfer into another host. You’d also become stronger, so you can make sure the Beast stays caged instead of it slipping out whenever it breaches your control.
You’ll trap it for good, Raine. It won’t hurt or kill anyone else. ”
Horror and elation filled me. Was that even possible?
Could I really keep the Beast from hurting anyone else?
It seemed too good to be true, except … could I also bear to live with the Beast for what might be centuries, considering how long Remy could live?
The last thing I wanted was potentially endless time with the murderous creature infecting me!
And yet … how could I say no? I’d longed to make the Beast finally pay.
If Remy was right, this way, I could. I’d be caging it for what might be a very, very long life.
Didn’t I owe Mom and Gran that? Didn’t I owe all of the Beast’s victims that?
This was the ultimate “fuck you” to that monster, all for the low price of the rest of my life.
I opened my eyes.
Remy was still only inches away. For a second, glittering scarlet haloed him in an impossible mixture of diamonds and rubies as the Beast stared at him, too.
“What’s the real cost?” I asked in a whisper. “Being ‘kept’ must mean more than being stuck with the Beast, or you would have offered it to me from the beginning.”
Remy moved away a few inches.
I exhaled. Even that slight distance felt like I was no longer drowning in the dizzying display of his aura, let alone the tempting dangerousness of the man himself. After a moment, Remy’s aura vanished as I pushed the Beast back down.
“By comparison, your other cost is negligible.” Remy’s voice wound around me like silken bonds, daring me to pull away while enticing me to stay. “Mostly, you’d have to spend a significant amount of time with me for the first year or so.”
“Why?” I asked. “And doing what?”
Now his smile was rakish. “Pretending to be in love with me, of course.”
He had to be joking. “Be serious.”
His brow arched. “I am. I’d have to feign being in love with you, too. Otherwise, everyone in my world would know I had an ulterior motive for bestowing such a gift upon you.”
“Why tell them you shared your power with me at all?”
“My power is very potent. And distinctive. It leaves what you’d call a residue, as far as other supernatural creatures are concerned. Once I share that power with you, you’d give off some of that same residue whether you intended to or not.”
I’d metaphorically ooze turbo-sorcerer if I did this? “At least your magic has a nice scent,” I muttered.
He straightened. “What scent?”
Right, I hadn’t mentioned that before. “I can, um, smell magic, I think. I smelled agave when the snake monster tried to kill me. I never saw who knocked me down from behind, but I now think that the weird cayenne scent belonged to that attacker. And when you use your magic, it smells like”—chocolate and darkness merged with forbidden fantasies—“spices.”
“You’re only now telling me that you can discern different magical species by their scents?” he asked with an edge.
I gave him a look. “I’ve had a lot going on, remember?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw, but he didn’t argue. “Would you recognize that cayenne scent if you smelled it again?”
I shuddered at the memory. “Oh, yeah.”
“Even more reason to pretend you’re my beloved, then.
The storm washed away all scents from Brendan’s kidnappers by the time I arrived with my trackers, so I don’t know what race aside from the Basilisks were involved.
You would, though. Since I’m Warden, no one would dare tell me I couldn’t bring my girlfriend along on any excursion I take into another clan’s stronghold. ”
“Or you could just tell people the truth about why you shared your power with me, and I can sniff out the other attacker’s race as your ally instead of your fake girlfriend.”
That iciness was back in his gaze. “I can’t tell people the truth, and neither can you. You wouldn’t last a day before others would kidnap you to use the Beast’s power for themselves. Tell no one about the creature inhabiting you, Raine. Ever.”
Was this the real reason Remy was offering to help me? Not just because I said I’d try to heal his grandfather’s mind? But because he wanted the Beast’s power for himself?
“Why should I believe you’re not going to do that as well?”
“I’m powerful enough to hold the entire northern East Coast without it,” he said crisply.
“Any additional power it would give me isn’t worth the cost, which is why I am probably the only non-human you’ll meet who doesn’t want to use you for the Beast’s power.
I want to use you to stop its rampages instead. ”
I left the northern East Coast stuff alone. One shocking revelation at a time, thank you. “So, you’re doing this to make sure the Beast doesn’t cause more problems for you as Warden?”
His gaze drilled into mine. “Yes. If any other creature were infesting you, it wouldn’t be necessary. That’s why I didn’t offer this to you before. Only the Beast is powerful enough to escape the trap I made.”
“I warned you that it wouldn’t work,” I said under my breath.
“You don’t know all the other creatures that can infest humans, so you lacked any frame of reference for your warning.”
Fair, and I’d study up on all the other creatures that did exist as soon as I could. But first … “Is pretending to be your girlfriend and having a freaky long life my only cost? Don’t lie to me, or I’ll break our deal as soon as I find out the truth.”
His features hardened. “Accusing a Warden of lying during negotiations is the gravest of insults.”
“You don’t get that much crimson in your aura from always being honest and noble,” I said flatly.
His smile reminded me of that aura; a sudden splash of brightness against something inherently deadly.
“I hadn’t heard about scenting abilities, but I’d heard that Beasts’ hosts can see auras.
How interesting that it’s true. Well, Raine, you’ll remember that a Warden doesn’t just negotiate truces.
We also enforce them within our territory, which means punishing anyone who breaks them. ”
I snorted. “Must be some punishment. Your aura’s practically bleeding from all your inner violence.”
Remy became so still he could have been carved of stone. “Oh, I drench myself in violence to protect my territory, because I am the dam that holds back much, much worse.”
Another shiver went through me, as if the grave were whispering secrets I didn’t want to hear.
Remy stared at me. How many people had seen that same ruthlessness in his icily beautiful eyes right before he killed them? How could I make a deal with a man like this?
And yet … if his violence was well-earned, the bright lights in his aura had to be, too. I’d seen some of that light when Remy had nearly died keeping the Beast from harming the innocent people in his hotel. Besides, if I could see my own aura, it might be redder than Remy’s, so who was I to judge?
I could go back to the Beast killing people whenever it burst free, until it eventually leapt into someone else and started this cycle all over. Or I could stop it by only hurting myself. It might not be a fair choice, but it certainly was simple.
“Agreed, with conditions.”
A smile curled Remy’s lips. “I’m not at all surprised.”
“We do a trial period for this fake relationship. See if it’s feasible for both of us.
” And so I can see if you’re really telling me the truth, I silently added.
I wasn’t doing any supernatural power sharing until I got a much better idea of who Remy was as a person, Warden abilities aside.
Spending time with him would be the best way to do that.
And compared to keeping a murderous inner monstrosity on a leash, a little fake dating was hardly too challenging.
“But I’m not having sex with you to sell the charade,” I went on, my tone hardening. “That’s nonnegotiable.”
His gaze changed, turning from dangerous to sensual with such abruptness it seemed like I was looking at a different man. A smolderingly sexy one whose gaze swept over me with such heat that I actually quivered before giving myself a mental slap.
It’s just a look, Raine!
But I’d never had a look like this before. As if everything his gaze touched was already his, and this negotiation merely sealed the deal. Worse, part of me liked it.
“I’ve never coerced a woman into my bed,” Remy finally said. I’ve had no need, his throaty voice implied, and I believed that. “I won’t start now, but this will require some public displays of affection in order to be believable.”
“What kind of displays?” I asked.
His gaze swept me again. This time it was more assessing … and yet still so blatantly sexual I almost held my breath. Was he thinking strategic things? Erotic? Both?
“Occasional kissing and light touching should suffice.”
Those inner shivers increased. I blamed it on how long it had been since I’d had sex.
My actual body count was way higher than my sexual one.
How twisted was that? Plus, those prior encounters were usually low on foreplay and big on disappointment.
If my cat’s attempts to get more scratches from Remy were any indication, I’d love those “light touches” to the point of distraction, not to mention kissing that ruthlessly sensual mouth.
Remy didn’t need to know any of that, so I only nodded. “Just keep it to that, and we’re good.”
His smile turned into a maddening grin. “As you wish.”
Oh, I was starting to wish things that were way past that, but I wouldn’t let a little lust screw this up. I might finally have a chance to stop the Beast. I wouldn’t get the normal life I’d longed for, but at least I’d get revenge. That was something, right?
“When do we start this trial fake-dating period?”
Remy raked me with another look I could almost feel, and there was nothing cold or assessing about it this time. Instead, it was warm, amused, and anticipatory.
“Friday night.”