Chapter Thirty-Eight
We went to Remy’s private elevator. Brendan, Setreg, and Mandal stayed in the lobby even though they’d need this elevator to reach the private floors of this hotel, too.
My teeth ground again. Did they think I was going to start screaming and throwing a fit?
Oh, no. That was the fastest way to get someone to stop listening to you. Not to start.
I said nothing as the elevator doors closed, shutting them and the lobby off from my view.
Remy entered his thumbprint onto the screen and we started zooming up.
After dozens of floors, the doors opened to that wall of fog that Remy had to part before I could touch it without getting zapped.
I remained silent as we walked through the three-story library with its stunning, stained-glass furniture and magic moths, and then I sat on one of the couches to take off my heels.
“Thank you,” Remy said.
I glanced up. “For what? The silent treatment? Someone your age should know that men are supposed to pretend they don’t like that, not thank a woman for doing it.”
The barest smile touched his mouth. “For healing Brendan. I didn’t think it could be done. Even if I’d known that it might cost me my lands, I would never have let him stay imprisoned by his own mind, forced to watch as life passed him by.”
Some of the rage leaked out of me. I couldn’t help but rejoice over Brendan’s healing, too, no matter the complications. I’d seen too many lives ravaged by cognitive decline, and I’d never been able to reverse its effects before.
“I’m glad it worked, too. I’ve tried before with dementia patients, to no avail.
But I never used my own blood first, of course.
Brendan’s illness was also magic-based, not medical, and I was all juiced up on dragon essence, so I thought I should make the most of that extra power with another try.
” I let out a short laugh. “If only I’d waited until after the ball, right? ”
Remy’s smile didn’t slip. “Then you wouldn’t be you.”
Harsh laughter left me. “You know me so well already?”
He took a step closer. “How many times would I need to see you help someone in need before I realized it’s who you are?”
I wouldn’t let him flatter me out of my fury over his hardheadedness. It was the only thing holding me together. “It could just be my ‘addiction’ to the Beast’s power, remember?”
He took another step closer. “You became addicted because you refused to stop helping people. Not the other way around.”
“Anyone with this power would’ve done the same.”
Another step. “I know for a fact that isn’t true.”
“Then you haven’t been around many nurses,” I said sharply. Dammit, without my rage to block it, my fear kept rising, as vicious and relentless as the Beast at its worst.
I’ll see you in the First Realm in twenty-four hours, Remington. And then I’ll kill you.
Remy looked so strong, so confident, so alive, but what was strong could be broken, despair could replace confidence, and life could be snuffed out by death. I’d seen it too many times before. Now the clock was ticking on Remy, too.
“Don’t do it.”
It flew out of me despite my resolve to make a reasoned, logic-based argument.
Still, I couldn’t help myself. Right then, I wished I’d never met Remy.
Then I wouldn’t hurt this much at the thought of his death.
The Beast had infected me with a need to feed from violence, but Remy had infected me with something almost as dangerous: the knowledge that I could be with him as myself.
No secrets, no lies. Just me and Remy and all the things I’d never allowed myself to feel before.
Because of Remy, I’d actually begun to look forward to the future instead of dread it. Now, he could die tomorrow, and I was the one who’d set his death in motion. Pain pricked my eyes in a precursor to tears. I squeezed them shut to hold them back.
When I opened them, Remy was crouched in front of me, his large hand touching my face. “I know you’re afraid, Raine, but I wouldn’t take on this fight if I didn’t know I could win.”
Could. Not would. He couldn’t guarantee that, because it was impossible. Daegal sure as hell wouldn’t have agreed to this duel if he thought that he might be the one to lose.
“Yes, you know what I’m afraid of,” I rasped as I fought for control. “You’ve always been able to tell that, but you’ve never told me if there’s anything you’re afraid of.”
That jeweled gaze didn’t waver. “Right now I’m afraid that you’ll walk out of this room and not come back.”
I let out a soft scoff. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I.” His fingers glided to my hair. “Because if you leave, I’ll feel that inner emptiness again, and I didn’t realize how deeply it had spread until suddenly, it was no longer there.”
A tear squeezed free. I knew exactly what he meant.
That kind of emptiness gnawed away at you no matter how many people you might be around.
But since I’d been with Remy, I’d also felt the shocking wonder of its absence.
He filled a void in me I’d never allowed myself to acknowledge.
Now we could lose everything we did have plus everything we might have.
“If you mean that, how can you risk throwing it all away?”
Both his hands framed my face. “Because Daegal will still try to kill me. Even if I withdraw my challenge and walk away, he’ll still see me as a threat, and he’ll be right.
I won’t let him have what Brendan destroyed his own mind to protect.
Even without that, if dragons are allowed to rule in this world again, other species will follow.
Eventually, all humanity will once again be subject to creatures they now think are myth. ”
“But if you die tomorrow, all that will happen anyway,” I whispered. “Why not live to stop it another way?”
A muscle ticked in Remy’s jaw. “Because I can stop it now. All I have to do is kill Daegal. Even if he kills me, too, once Daegal is gone, my lands will pass to my successor. Wardens will still hold the line, and our treaties will still stand. That’s worth more than my life, Raine. It always has been.”
I wanted to believe he was wrong. That if Remy walked away, everything would be fine.
But history repeatedly showed that the stronger usually conquered the weaker, especially if the weaker had something the stronger wanted.
How much more would that scenario play out if it was dragons versus humans?
Or sirens versus humans? Or any of the other creatures?
Hell, I’d seen car-sized snails that could flatten humans if they wanted to.
Remy was hardly the only Warden acting as a barrier to hold this supernatural flood back, but he was right.
When one levee broke, the others around it were weakened, too.
I’d come into this argument convinced that he shouldn’t do this.
Now I wasn’t so sure. I might have been a Beast’s host for nearly a dozen years, but I’d only been exposed to the intricacies of Warden treaties for two weeks.
Wasn’t I the reckless, arrogant one if I thought I knew better than someone who’d spent more than two centuries dealing with this?
Remy stroked my face. “This duel is actually safer for me because it forces Daegal to come at me himself instead of sending more of his people to ambush me. I also won’t have to hold back to avoid innocent casualties in the First Realm. Daegal doesn’t know it, but this clause is a trap.”
“Yeah, a trap pitting you against a thousand-year-old, lightning-spitting dragon,” I said with a grimace. “Your magic is truly deadly, but you can’t hit Daegal with that Flay spell if you’re blown to bits by one of his lightning bolts.”
Remy moved closer until his body pressed against my knees. “I have other abilities aside from that spell.”
I was sure he did, just like I was also sure Daegal had more ways to kill Remy than just frying him with a lightning bolt. No matter Remy’s assurances, this could be the last time I saw him.
I grabbed his shoulders as tightly as the panic over that thought grabbed me. I hadn’t expected much beyond the year or so required to sell our fake relationship to his world, but I couldn’t lose him now. It was too soon!
“Remy.” I tried to let go and couldn’t. My hands wouldn’t unclench. So, I tried to let go with words instead. “You didn’t sleep much last night, and you obviously have a big day tomorrow. You should try to get some sleep—”
“No,” he muttered, his mouth cutting off whatever else I might have said.
Heat shot through me. I opened my mouth, letting him devour it while I pulled at his coat.
He yanked it off one-handed, the other one hiking up my dress as he pulled me onto his lap until I straddled him.
He lost buttons when I tore at the front of his shirt, but I didn’t care.
I needed to feel his skin, and when I did, I broke our kiss to taste his neck.
He lifted me higher on his lap. Now I was pressed right against that luscious hardness.
I groaned as I rocked, the friction increasing when he braced my back on the couch.
He yanked my panties off with a swipe that probably ripped them.
I only rocked against him harder, pulling at his belt while keeping a death grip on his head. I needed him closer, naked, right now.
He pushed his hand between us, his fingers dominating my flesh.
Heat seemed to pour from his touch, until I felt so feverish that I failed to get his belt off because my hands kept convulsing in rapture.
I finally gave up and rubbed him through his pants while rocking against him like my life depended on it.
The sound he made hit me like a thousand swirling licks. Pleasure burst through me, making my whole body clench. Then languorous tingles replaced that scalding tension, spreading until even my fingers vibrated. My head fell back as every part of me suddenly felt heavier from satiation.