33. Chapter 33
Irun straight into a steel wall that belongs to a chest carved by the most ancient of gods.
A man who haunts my every dream, along with my every waking thought.
I stumble backward at the sight of him. Instinctively, he reaches out to catch me, sweeping me right into his steady arms. “Like a pigeon caught in a windstorm, Raven,” he chuckles into my ear.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, peering up at him.
“Rescuing you, apparently,” he says softly.
My lips part open, but they’re overtaken by fingers.
My fingers, which are itching to smack him across the cheek for leaving me so abruptly back in the Observatory.
But instead, I run those fingers through his hair in recollection of my most recent dream.
A dream that I’ll take to my grave if I can help it.
A sinful dream full of desire and need, one that I will never share with anybody.
If only he knew how much my heart aches for him.
If only things were different.
“I don’t need rescuing,” I whisper, glancing over at the statue and thinking of my friends, who are currently hiding behind a tree, waiting for my return.
“I’m fine, really…" I continue, my voice full of determination. “Peachy, in fact. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like a moment alone to collect my thoughts.
” I peel myself out of his arms and stand up straighter, giving him a stern look that indicates I’d like him to leave me alone.
“My sister has increased the bounty on your head,” he grumbles darkly from where he stands, his deep voice reverberating all the way to my core.
“She won’t let you get away this time, especially not after she’s realized who you are.
I have no choice but to stay here and protect you from her.
I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” He plants his feet and folds his arms, not looking sorry in the slightest.
I scoff. “If you really wanted to protect me, then you wouldn’t have put me in this situation in the first place.”
His arms fall to his sides. “It’s complicated…”
“It seems relatively straightforward to me.” I force out a laugh. “You dragged me into your castle and put a target on my back. I’ve finally managed to escape, and now you’re here claiming that you’re trying to rescue me. Feels a bit counterintuitive, doesn’t it?”
“How do I earn your trust back?” he asks, looking less confident than before.
I tip my head and consider his offer. “I suppose you could march your merry ass straight outside and assist the Dragon King with fending off your sister. Last I checked, they were tussling it out in the river. There were a lot of flying icicles and golden sparks.”
“There’s no time for that.” He shakes his head. “We need to get you out of here… now.”
I stumble around him as I think of my friends, my heart jolting in my chest. “As much as I’d love to return to your castle and become a prisoner once again, I think I’d rather slit my own wrists. In fact…” I drop to my knees at the foot of the dais and unsheathe my blade before the statue.
“Shadow…” Augustine warns, his tone clipped.
“I told you to leave, Augustine,” I mutter, holding out my arm and pulling back my sleeve.
If bleeding myself dry is what it takes to coax this secret from the depths of my heart, then so be it.
I’ll slice my skin wide open until my secrets spill all over the floor.
I’ll do anything to save my friends and find my sister.
Desperation wallops me, and desolation frays my heart.
I hear someone call my name from someplace very far away as I move to cut open my arm.
My silver blood is mentioned in the prophecy for a reason…
That reason must be this.
Right?
There’s a flash of quicksilver eyes followed by a barrage of footfalls.
It’s coupled by a sensation of zero gravity as he enwraps me in his bulky arms and tears the blade out of my hands, tossing it across the room with a clatter as his gaze burns into mine.
His eyes sear with the force of the entire universe, as if to say, “How dare you try and harm yourself?”
“Stop it!” I squirm against his rock-hard chest. “I have to do this! I have no other choice!”
“There is always a choice,” he booms, his gaze desperately dancing with mine as he tightens his grip on my wrists. “Isn’t that what you told me once? That there’s always a choice?”
A beat of silence passes. I stop squirming and gawk up at him.
His expression intensifies.
A frustrated growl escapes my throat, and I relent against him.
I know it was only a dream, but I can still taste him somehow.
I can still feel his hands wrapped around my body, his fingers finding their way inside me, pressing against the exact spot that makes my entire body unwind.
Which is making it very hard to breathe at the moment, or say anything remotely intelligible in response.
“You came here to stop me from freeing the Mother of Chaos,” I realize breathlessly.
“Well, I certainly don’t want you to free her like that,” he says in exasperation, releasing my wrists and running a hand through his dark hair.
Without thinking, I shove my balled-up fists against his chest, but he doesn’t flinch.
Instead, his breath loosens as he holds out his arms, like he’s waiting to enwrap me in a hug.
“Why are you so obsessed with protecting me?” I shout.
“At least Sylas has a fucking excuse!” I throw my hands on my head and pace around the dais.
“I’m his twinflame, which means his powers are reliant on my safety.
You, on the other hand, have no reason to protect me, other than some sick and twisted desire to keep me away from your sister.
This is a fucking game to you, isn’t it?
Tell me the truth for once in your life, goddamnit.
I asked for it back in the Observatory. Remember?
And you fucking left without a word. After I poured my heart all over the floor.
Do you know how it felt, to be ignored like that? ”
I hadn’t realized I was pacing back and forth so quickly, until he grabs me by the shoulders and steadies my shaky arms. My heart slows, and my breathing returns to a normal rate as I peer up at him, my eyes wet and tear-stained.
“You have no idea the effect you have over me,” I whisper. “None at all.”
“I think that I do,” he grumbles softly, pulling me against his chest and wrapping me into his arms. I sniffle against his armor, wetten it with my tears, then wait for him to explain himself further. “Because it’s the same effect you have over me too…” he finishes.
I crumple into him.
He takes my face in his hands and regards me with seriousness.
“You told me never to leave you,” he whispers.
“Which is a vow that I take very seriously. A vow that I assumed went both ways. So fuck it all, Raven. You can’t leave me either.
Not in this life, or the next. Stop playing games with swords. ”
I peer up at him in confusion.
The dream.
I told him never to leave me in the dream.
“You remember?” I whisper.
“Of course I remember,” he says, pausing to drink in my confused expression. “How could I ever forget?”
Wait. But if he remembers the dream… then that means… he also remembers that we had sex.
“You want answers,” he realizes, looping back to my original question.
“Answers that are not mine to share. This hasn’t been easy for me either, I hope you know.
This entire time, there’s been so much that I’ve wanted to tell you, but I can’t.
Not until you figure it out for yourself.
Your mind is…” He gingerly trails off, sweeping a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his brows knitting together like he’s conflicted over something far bigger than the both of us.
Something that defies the laws of the universe.
“I wish you’d stop keeping secrets,” I say, my gaze flitting to the statue behind him.
He regards me for a few seconds longer, then sighs exponentially, looking pained. “Your mind is too fragile, Shadow. If I tell you… it might break.”
“Of course!” I laugh hysterically. “That’s right.
My mind is too fragile.” I tip my head back and muster the most unladylike scoff I can possibly surmise, recalling how the Harvest Queens told me the exact same thing back in the forest clearing.
“You know what’s interesting? Out of all people, I thought you’d be the first one willing to break me. But I guess I was wrong.”
His mouth slips open, as though he’s not sure whether to take my comment as a compliment or an insult. Luckily for him, it was both.
“I hope that I’m not interrupting anything important.
” The queen clears her throat from across the room, diverting our attention toward her.
Her hands are on fire, her eyes are on fire, her entire gown is on fire.
Her cheeks are dripping with golden ichor, which is almost as shiny as the lopsided crown atop her head.
She looks like she fought a battle against a dragon and won.
Oh gods. Sylas.
My heart concaves in my chest. Although admittedly, I’m failing to understand why I’m so upset, considering how I should be relieved that the pretentious bastard is dead. Now he won’t try and force me into an arranged marriage agreement.
And yet…
“It’s time to hand over the raven,” the queen says with an outstretched hand, waggling her fingers at Augustine like he owes her something concrete, and not a living, breathing human being.
Me.
Augustine watches her with honed regard as he pulls me behind his back, every defined muscle in his body tensing to perfection. His words are a storm of gravel as they spill off his tongue, sounding something along the lines of, “Get fucked.”
“Such gravitas!” the queen chides, her lips curling back in a hollow laugh. “Your love for the raven is futile, Brother. The poor thing can hardly remember who you are.”
Of course I remember who he is.
What is she talking about?