Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ISLA
A s my sister and I enter my room, the weight of anticipation settles heavily between us. I guide Elodee to the table, where she sits, her expression taut with confusion and curiosity. Silence stretches uncomfortably, amplifying my anxiety about explaining our surreal reality. The truth about Lunara and our existence as wolf shifters feels daunting, almost suffocating.
“We’re in Lunara,” Elodee states, her voice brimming with an inexplicable certainty.
I fidget with my fingers under the table, bewildered. Though also thankful for her confidence. “How do you know that?”
She gives a half-shrug, her gaze darting around the room, not quite settling. “I’ve been here before. I don’t know how, and maybe it sounds insane, but this place feels like… home.” When her eyes finally meet mine, they shimmer with an unspoken recognition.
Emotions swirl within me—relief mingled with a sting of envy. Relief that she’s accepting our reality with ease, yet envy because how does she remember and I don’t?
This might be more than I can handle on my own, yet I’m not ready to share her with anyone, so I decide to wing things on my own.
“From what I’ve learned,” I begin, “we were born here and died way too many years ago, being reborn on Earth—like reincarnation—and we, um, we’re…”
“Wolf shifters,” she finishes for me, but she frowns. “I’m remembering bits and pieces, but I don’t remember you. If we’re both from here, why don’t I remember you before these last twenty-something years?”
Her voice cracks, sending ripples of distress through me. “I don’t know,” I admit, my heart sinking with inadequacy.
Suddenly restless, Elodee stands, pacing near my bed as memories seem to flicker behind her eyes. “I’ve lived multiple lives, most on Earth and a few here,” she says, stopping to face me, tears brimming. “I had parents before. Different ones, with each life. And the last ones, the ones we shared… Gods, Is. They were everything we always dreamed of.”
“Our dad is still here,” I blurt out, seizing the chance to bridge her fragmented memories with our present. Maybe Asher was wrong. I’m not sure I’m the right person to be having this conversation with my sister, considering she seems to know much more than I do.
She comes back to me, fingers wrapping around my arms and lifting me from the chair. “Where is he?”
I wince. “Easy, El. You’re stronger here.”
“Elodee,” she muses. “That’s not actually my name. It’s Estee. ”
“Oh, yeah. Mine was Isobella, but they’ve been okay with calling me ‘Isla,’” I tell her, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason.
She smiles softly and shakes her head. “I think ‘Estee’ will be just fine.”
“Right.” Why is none of this going like I imagined?
She tugs at my hair and chuckles. “I like what you’ve done with the new color. Would have been nice to know before I filed a missing person’s report and blasted your picture all over social media, going as far as harassing the FBI until they sent someone to speak with me, but I guess they never would have found you, anyway.”
I nearly choke and my eyes widen. “You called the FBI? Why?”
“My best friend was missing,” she says, as if that explains everything. “What did you think I was going to do? Moving to Seattle was the stupidest thing I’d ever done. I was already trying to transfer back before you stopped answering your phone and when I didn’t hear from you for a full day, I quit the next day and went back to the apartment to raise hell until I found you.”
I throw my arms around her and hug her tightly. “I missed you so much, El. I mean Estee.” Pulling back, I frown. “That’s going to take some getting used to.”
She taps my nose and grins. “As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter. I was losing my mind before some man showed up. I thought he was a detective and then he jabbed a needle into my arm.” She rubs near her right shoulder. “I don’t remember anything from that point until waking up in the other room, but the longer I’m standing here, the more I’m remembering other things.”
Fascinated, I pull her back to the table, deciding maybe I can handle this on my own for a little longer. We take our seats again as I ask, “Like what?”
Her growing smirk has me already shaking my head as she replies, “Well, I was a badass, for one. Like a warrior who couldn’t be touched and I had this wolf. She was incredible.” A shadow falls over her face and she rubs her chest. “But she’s not with me now.”
“Neither is mine, but I don’t remember her,” I say, wondering if that’s better or worse for me. Though this isn’t about me and I want to give her some hope. “Asher thinks that we still have our wolves, even if we can’t sense them yet. Well, he said I might, and I assume that’s the same for you. Then again, I’ve only had two flashes of memories, so I don’t know. Maybe it’s not the same.” Why is this so awkward and why am I rambling uncomfortably, unable to stop? “Oh, and he did confirm one thing. We are actually soul sisters. I’m not sure if that’s just because?—”
The squeal that leaves her makes my ears ring and finally shuts me up. She launches herself out of the chair and hugs me until my ribs ache, nearly bringing us both to the ground. “I might not remember the life here with you, but I’ve known since the moment I met you that you were important to me. Gods, Isla. If I’d lost you…”
Tears burn in my eyes as I hug her again. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t call you. I should have fought sooner to get to you, but me coming here was completely different than your experience so far. I thought you’d never believe me.”
She pulls back and takes a seat again, eyes bright with interest. “Tell me everything.”
I start with the hike up Multnomah Falls, followed by getting lost and going over the bridge that was actually an ancient portal, and then coming here and meeting the asshole version of Asher.
“He didn’t actually send you to your room,” she says with an air of shock.
I nod but quickly defend him. “While that wasn’t even the worst part of my first day here, I understand why he did it now and you shouldn’t be mad at him.”
Suddenly, telling Estee about Asher using our father’s life to keep me here doesn’t seem like the best idea.
“And why not?” She sneers. “He tried to keep you from me.”
“He’s… We’re…” I have no clue how I’m supposed to describe what Asher is to me. Mostly because I barely understand it.
She covers her mouth and sucks in a heavy breath. “Holy shit. You’re mates, aren’t you? While that makes a little more sense, he still better watch his back. Nobody messes with my sister and gets away with it.”
There really is no one else in the world like my best friend. I’ve always known I was lucky to have her in my life, but even more so now.
Elodee, I mean, Estee regards me with a mix of wonder and apprehension, her voice a whisper of trepidation. “You mentioned Dad earlier. He’s really here? And what about Mom?” Her eyes search mine for truths she might not be ready to hear.
The weight of the conversation presses down, heavier than I anticipated. “Yes, Dad’s here,” I reassure her with a gentle smile, my voice softening to cushion the blow. “He can’t wait to see you.” I pause, the name ‘Mom’ catching in my throat, heavy with a grief that constricts my heart. “Mom, however…” My words trail off, heavy with so rrow. “It was too much for her after we vanished. She?—”
Estee cuts me off. “She died and chose to stay at rest.” Her words are resolute, accepting a fate she seems to understand more than I do.
A rueful chuckle escapes me. “It’s a little overwhelming how easy this is for you. Asher’s mom said I arrived through some ancient portal that hasn’t been used in years. Maybe that’s why this is easier for you and I’m still struggling.”
I know it’s not her fault I had to learn these things by being told, but that doesn’t mean I don’t suddenly feel like the one on the outside.
She reaches for my hands again and holds them tightly. “It’s me and you against the world, just like it’s been for the last two decades. I may remember more than you do, but there’s still a lot of holes. Most importantly, I don’t remember you being my sister in any lifetime before this one, which is an issue if we both died then.”
“Asher thinks with time, I might remember my last day here and it could help us figure out what happened,” I say, trying to push away any self-pity. “Though that was before we realized the same thing might have happened to you. You disappeared years after I did, leaving a note that said you couldn’t handle the grief any longer. Everyone thought you chose to die until Grayson, I mean Dad”—another thing that will take time to remember—“started to piece things together. Asher was already going to try to bring you here, but when Dad guessed who you might really be, I think that expedited things.”
“Maybe we’ll remember together,” she says and I hope like hell that she’s right, especially since we might still be in danger. If we don’t know who made us disappear or why, then what’s to say they won’t try again?
It took over five hundred years to bring us back here and I won’t lose that much time again. Even if I don’t remember my life before, my heart yearns for what it’s lost and I’ll fight with everything I have to keep what I’ve found.
Several hours later, Estee has finally passed out from exhaustion in my room and I need some air. I consider sitting out on the balcony so that I’m still in the room when she wakes up, but it’s not enough.
I suddenly crave movement, the desire to feel the air on my skin as I run, the light of the moons strengthening my soul, and the earth’s energy recharging my body.
Maybe this is one of those moments that Asher mentioned before when he said I should still hold my wolf spirit. Could this be one of those signs? I don’t deny its possibility, knowing this urge isn’t something I’ve ever possessed before.
Without taking too much time to reconsider, I exit my room, alone and quiet thanks to the late hour. It doesn’t matter that another wolf nearly attacked me earlier. As I bound down the stairs, using the back exit Asher showed me before, I’m no longer afraid. Only frustrated that I can’t remember more.
Hearing Estee talk about her lives, having our father confirm the memories available to her, the things they could reminisce over together…
I don’t want to be bitter. I just want to remember .
Getting outside, I kick off my shoes and tilt my head toward the starry night. The twin moons greet me, lighting the sky up with their glow. My chest expands as I take a deep breath, inhaling the crisp air. Bending down, I dig my fingers into the ground, feeling the vibrations within the earth that I’d never known existed before.
Hell, not even an hour ago did I think this was possible, but with Elodee— damn it —Estee here, I’m trying to stop resisting what I don’t understand and just accept what is.
I showed up in Lunara, believing I was dreaming and refusing to consider any of this world could be real. Maybe it’s a combination of my stubbornness and my unusual arrival that has messed with my memories.
I don’t know, but the bliss that radiated off Estee earlier is something I want. No, I need. I’ve experienced little snippets of that since arriving, but now, I’m craving more. More answers, more connections, more belonging.
Getting back to my feet, I take another inhale as I stretch, then take off at a sprint across the expansive back yard. Considering it’s night, I do at least avoid the forest. Not because I’m fearful of the wolves that might be there, but because I don’t want to get lost.
My speed picks up and just as I imagined before, energy feels as if it’s being charged within me, pushing me harder, lengthening my stride and driving me forward. I run with no destination in mind, just knowing I want to keep the castle within my sights.
Air rushes past me, blowing my hair around as my muscles stretch, the aches seeming more like relief than anything else.
The sounds of water grow louder and I start to slow, having no clue where it’s coming from. I know Asher said these were islands, but I haven’t ventured far enough before this to be curious about the ocean surrounding me.
There’s only darkness in front of me and behind, the flicker of lights from the castle smaller than I expected. Oops. I ran farther than I realized in such a short time.
Here, under the gaze of the moons and the caress of the wind, I feel closer to the pulse of Lunara. The ground beneath me hums with ancient power, seeping into my bones, promising restoration and revelations. The world fades away, leaving only the rhythmic crash of waves to soothe the tumult within. Here, I could remain forever, lost in the embrace of the land that is slowly claiming me as its own.
“Isla?” Asher’s voice, soft and tinged with concern, pulls me back from the edge of the vast, starlit solitude I had wandered into. “Are you okay?”
Sitting up, I try to mask the cascade of emotions with a smile. “Yeah, why?”
“I saw you running from my window,” he says, settling beside me on the grass, his presence grounding. “I thought something might have happened.”
“Estee fell asleep after dinner with Grayson, and I just needed to breathe, you know?” My voice trails off, apologetic. “Sorry, I should have left a note or something.”
He twists a strand of my hair around his finger, his smile gentle. “You’re okay—that’s all that matters. How were things with Estee and your dad?”
“Fine,” I reply, too hastily, the word barely covering the torrent beneath. In fact, with how electric my body feels, I have another thing on my mind .
“Can I see you shift?” I ask, causing his eyebrows to furrow slightly.
“Sure, but may I ask why?” His question is reasonable, but I don’t really have an answer for him. At least not one that doesn’t sound a little crazy in my mind.
“I’m just…curious.” My casual answer doesn’t seem to pacify him.
He inches closer, his eyes earnest. “You can tell me anything, Isla. I’m here to listen, not to judge. Especially if you’re seeking answers.”
I hug myself, feeling the unusual buzz under my skin. “Something feels different tonight. It’s like there’s this energy I can’t quite manage,” I confess, the night amplifying my restless spirit.
“Different like you sense your wolf?” he asks animatedly.
My eyes cast down because I know how happy that would make him. “No, but my skin itches and my body feels like it’s swarming with energy I don’t know what to do with, hence the running that I don’t normally partake in.”
“Maybe this is just your mind trying to prepare for another memory,” he says quizzically, not showing any signs of disappointment. “As long as it won’t frighten you, I’m happy to introduce you to my wolf. In fact, I know he’d appreciate some time with you.”
Well, that intrigues me. “Can you speak with him?”
Asher shakes his head as he stands up, offering me a hand. “No, but after so long sharing the same mind, it’s easy to read emotions from him.”
Of course it is.
I rise from the ground, brushing the grass from my pants as another question comes to mind. “What happens to your clothes or jewelry or anything like that when you shift?” My mind conjures an image of clothes being shredded, strips of fabric flying everywhere.
“Thanks to the magic of the gods, wolves that have sworn their allegiance to an alpha king or queen, they get to keep their clothes and any belongings they have on their person,” he answers, then grins. “I’m not sure how much would ever get done around here if everyone was always naked. Then again, if that was all we ever knew, maybe it wouldn’t make a difference.”
“Right.” Well, I guess that’s not so bad.
Asher backs up and says, “Don’t blink. This happens fast.”
My eyes focus on Asher, fixated on his tall, muscular form. Flashes of memories from a few nights ago when I saw his wolf from afar try to distract me, but I push them aside as Asher’s chest begins to rumble.
A flicker of white energy radiates from his body and it almost seems as if he’s starting to bend in half, but then he disappears for the briefest of seconds that I’m not even sure if he really did or not. Before I can try to understand what I’m seeing, a magnificent beast stands in his place.
His head tilts toward the sky and he howls, long and loud, the sound like chime bells to my ears. I step forward, drawn to his energy, unable to stop myself even if I wanted to.
When I’m only a few feet away, the wolf growls and looks down at me. His eyes are a brighter blue than Asher’s but familiar nonetheless. His grumbles don’t frighten me as I reach my hand out, desperately needing to touch this animal, feel the warmth of his body, hear the beat of his strong heart.
His head bends lower, making me realize that he’s not small by any means. The wolf head is nearly as tall as Asher’s with fur as dark as the shadows surrounding us.
My hand rubs between his eyes and the rumble he elicits sends shivers down my spine.
“Hi.” I laugh, the situation surreal yet profoundly grounding. He nudges me gently, leaning in as if to embrace me, his massive head resting against my shoulder.
I wrap my arms around his chest, weaving my hand around his back. I snuggle closer, my ear pressed against his soft coat, listening to the steady beat of the wolf’s heart.
My eyes close and another tether, just like the one I felt earlier with Grayson, starts to grow within me. I think it’s going to tie me to this wolf, but instead, my connection to the energy around me feels as if it explodes with a powerful force.
I release Asher and my back arches inward, pushing my chest out as heat swells within my chest. I wait for another memory to come, but nothing comes. Just the warmth of Polaris and a sense of pride for this land filled with magic I don’t yet understand but suddenly feels closer than ever before.
Home .
Just as Estee said earlier.
There was a connection before, but it was something I could have walked away from if it meant keeping my best friend in my life. Now? Now, I can’t imagine any other place I’d rather be .
Asher’s wolf whines and nudges me with his cold nose.
“I’m sorry,” I tell the beast. “I’m okay. My ties to this world seem to have finally snapped into place.”
His head turns away from me and I wonder if he expected me to feel that same tie to him. Deep down, I think there’s something there, which is why I don’t still want to hate Asher, but what he feels for me, I can’t say the same. Not yet.
My body starts to feel heavy and I let out a yawn. “Do you think we could lie under the stars for a bit?”
Without answering me, the wolf turns in a circle before lying down on his side, keeping his head up. I settle down in front of him, leaning my head against his stomach as I move to face him.
It’s hard to think of this animal as a separate being from Asher, especially when he makes me feel just as safe as his human half. But I don’t dwell on those thoughts for long.
In this moment, with the stars as my canopy and Asher’s wolf keeping watch, I feel a peace settle over me—a promise of home that’s both ancient and newly discovered. Here, with the ocean’s distant roar as my lullaby, I let the night embrace me, hoping for dreams that might finally bring my lost memories back into the light.