Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ISLA
W ell, this isn’t awkward at all. A lie I tell myself as I get dressed in jeans and the nearest sweater I can reach from the rack inside my closet. Without shoes, I go back into the room and Estee is standing there with a shit-eating grin on her face.
“He’s hot,” she says, nodding toward the door. “Have you, uh, jumped his bones yet?”
My glare could cut through glass. “ He can probably hear you and no, we’ve only kissed.”
“Bedrooms are soundproof,” she says confidently. “That I do remember from being here before.”
“What?” How did I not know this already? “When did you live here? With me?”
She shrugs. “I might have stayed here with you, but I don’t remember. And I only visited before, I didn’t live here. I don’t think.”
These multiple lifetimes are going to screw with my head possibly even more than my feelings for Asher already do .
“Right.” I glance at the door. “We should probably let them in.”
Estee licks her lips. “He’s got a cute friend with him. Supposedly, I knew him before and I’m not surprised.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Okay, you were wild back on Earth, but this is a whole new side of you, my friend.”
She flicks her long, brunette hair back over her shoulder as she sashays toward the door. “Remembering who I am…you’ll understand soon. I’ll make sure of it.” She turns back to me, her face more serious. “But all of this is right, Isla. I know you’re confused and maybe even scared, but don’t be. We’re right where we should have always been. I feel it in my soul.”
Little does she know, so do I, which is what scares me.
I can’t remember who I was, and I have no clue who I’m supposed to be, but the longer I’m here, the more I connect to this place and these people and now, having Estee here… I can’t imagine being anywhere else. There’s a peacefulness that overcomes me at the thought of staying forever, yet not understanding why is what still has me hesitating.
Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe I just need to embrace all that’s around me, including Asher, and let the rest work itself out, but with the way I disappeared—or was murdered—before, I can’t seem to allow myself to do so.
Estee opens the door and three men enter. Asher and two I don’t recognize. They’re dressed more casually than their king in black jeans and blue, collared shirts, but the way they keep their heads held high and shoulders straight, it’s as if they’re used to being two of the most important people in the room .
The one nearest to Asher with blond hair and hazel eyes stares at me like I mean something to him. His gaze is wide and shimmering with unspoken emotions. When the stranger steps forward, Asher’s chest lets out a quiet rumble and the two share a tense look.
Only a second later does the third man speak up. “I’m Declan, a royal ambassador for King Asher here and his best friend.” His smile twists with a hint of mischief and the way his blue eyes spark beneath his dark brows makes me believe he’s the one Estee hooked up with before. Just her type. “Next to Asher is Noen. We share the same roles, but not the same women.”
His smirk and open gaze for my sister has me chuckling, especially as she says, “Well, isn’t that great to know. I don’t think I would have survived much longer without knowing that.”
Openly appraising her, he replies, “I had a feeling.”
I leave them to their battle of wits and stares as I look at Asher. He’s no longer glaring at his friend, but looking at me. “How are you feeling? If you need rest, we won’t stay long.”
He’s likely asking because of my run last night, but he doesn’t need to be worried. As jealous as I was that Estee could remember, I’m happy for her. Maybe her confidence within this world will be what helps me figure things out as well.
“I’ll be fine,” I tell him with a smile. “Thank you for last night.”
“Anytime.” He hesitates, then gestures toward his other friend. “Like Declan said, this is Noen. The two of you used to be friends before.”
Noen steps around Asher this time and reaches a hand toward me. “Neighbors first, then best friends. I was a few years older than you, but we hung out near daily for most of our childhoods.”
When I go to accept his shake, I catch Asher watching us closely, making me slightly nervous. Am I not supposed to be friends with this guy? I don’t know, but I quickly decide that it’s going to be my choice, not Asher’s, especially after what Noen just said.
“Well, Noen. It’s lovely to meet you. Again,” I tell him sincerely. “You’ll have to be patient with me, as I have no clue who you are, but I’ll figure things out eventually.”
His smile is friendly and calming. “I’m sure you will.”
Asher clears his throat loudly, making me jump a little and release Noen’s hand. “Well, we didn’t mean to interrupt your morning,” he says. “We’ll let you get back to your breakfast. My mother should be by in a couple of hours to take you to the Academy.”
Oh. Right. The royal school. Not something I’m really looking forward to, but at the same time, if learning is the key to remembering, then I’m not going to argue.
Declan takes Estee’s hand and kisses her knuckles. “I hope I’ll see you again soon.”
“Maybe,” she flirts back, but she keeps a couple of feet of space between them.
He grabs onto Noen’s shoulder and drags him from the room as I wave goodbye.
“Nice to meet the both of you,” I call after them.
“You too, Isla,” Noen manages to say before being shoved into the hallway.
Asher still stands close by and he takes another step toward me.
Estee makes an odd noise, then spins toward the bathroom. “Don’t mind me. I’m just going to shower and pretend the two of you aren’t sucking face while I’m naked in the next room.”
“ Estee .” Asher and I both snarl her name at the same time.
Our situation has gone from pushing each other’s buttons to wanting to strangle each other to being restrained and almost too formal, then to making out on the stairs. Now, it seems we’re going to go through our awkward phase until we decide if there’s going to be more than kissing happening.
Of course there will be , I think and surprise even myself.
Well, I didn’t think I’d thought that far ahead, but apparently, my subconscious has and if I’m being honest, I’m not mad about it.
It’s not like I’ve never had sex. I’ve just never had sex with a king who’s also born from the gods and supposed to be my…mate.
Until thinking of him that way doesn’t make me uncomfortable, I should probably restrain my libido.
“I’m sorry if we overwhelmed you,” Asher says once we’re alone. “Noen was upset with me for not telling him you were here sooner. He’s been gone on business and I should have told him, but I wasn’t ready to share you. I’m still not, but I also know I can’t control you, nor do I want to.”
His candor is a bit of a shock, but a welcome one, especially when I was thinking some of the same things after his reaction earlier.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say earnestly. “And don’t worry about overwhelming me. That might be just what I need. ”
He steps closer. “Does that only apply to meeting new-to-you people or with all things?”
His question makes my skin spark with energy and my breathing heavier. I know the answer I want to say and I almost don’t because I also know I’m still confused, but that doesn’t mean I stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth.
“ All things.”
“Those two words have never sounded more perfect.” His chest rumbles and he grabs my face with both hands, holding me as if I might break, but when his lips crash against mine, there’s no holding back.
I hold on to his shirt, pressing against him, as our tongues meet with a renewed vigor. His fingers grip on to my long strands and the pinch of pain has a soft moan rising from within me.
He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine, attempting to catch his breath. “Gods, Isla. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
I really don’t, but I’ve certainly tried to guess.
“I’m sorry I don’t remember,” I tell him, but he’s already shaking his head.
“Don’t ever apologize for that,” he demands, his voice rough. “We might not know for sure what happened yet, but I know it wasn’t your fault. No matter what we find out, nothing will change how I feel.”
And I think that’s what scares me most. Asher can’t truly promise that to me because while his theory makes sense that someone may have murdered me, I have to consider the alternative.
What if I did choose to leave? What if Estee knew and followed me? What if finding out what really happened changes everything ?
With how quickly I’m becoming attached, I’m terrified of that scenario and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get over that with only brief snippets of memories.
“As much as I’d love to stay right here with you in my arms, Estee is likely listening to every word we speak,” he says softly. “Plus, Declan and Noen are waiting for me.”
I smooth out the wrinkles I created on his shirt and smile up at him, trying to hide the fears that threaten to strangle me. “Then I guess you better go.”
He kisses me again, but not near long enough before he adds, “I’m going to apologize now for however I might act when Noen is around you. He’s one of my closest friends and the two of you were best friends before—he wasn’t lying about that—but you’re still my mate. Being wolf shifters, logic doesn’t always make sense to our inner beasts and having another male be so close to you, well, it makes me a little crazy.”
While I don’t know enough to truly understand what he’s saying, I can sense the sincerity of his words and will take them into consideration.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say, then I give him a little push toward the door. “I’ll come find you after we’re done at the school.”
He winks as he reaches for the door. “Not if I find you first.”
Oh, how I hope he does.