Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
ISLA
H ow is this my life right now? Sitting in a horse-drawn carriage with my actual sister and a former queen, having just left a castle straight out of a fairy tale, and headed to an academy for wolf shifters. My mind is reeling, but I’m also grinning like a fool as I gaze out the window.
The sun is bright, warming my skin even from inside the luxury cart. People stroll through streets, most in groups of two to four. They stare, but everyone smiles and waves as we pass, making me do the same.
“After we’re done at the school, can we stop at the shops?” I ask, passing by some of the same places that I saw my first night here. Wolfish Wears now holds a completely different meaning.
“I won’t be able to take you,” Sosheena says with a kind smile, “but I’m sure the two of you can manage. You have nothing to fear here.”
I turn to look out the window again so she can’t see my face. Asher said he wasn’t telling anyone anything that they didn’t need to know until we understood more about what may or may not have happened to me and Estee.
A smart choice, but moments like this with his mother aren’t the most comfortable when I know she isn’t aware of the truth.
Still, maybe she’s right. Maybe I have nothing to fear because I left on my own accord and when I remember…all of this will fall apart.
Knowing that I had this incredible family, a mate who loved me more than his own life, and anything I could have dreamed of, I can’t think of a single reason as to why I would have, but the possibility is still there.
As jealous as I am that Estee got her memories back from most of her lives so easily, I wish she would have remembered the most important one.
I reach to scratch my head and then cringe when I remember there’s a crown sitting up there. Something Sosheena insisted on. Even if I’m not ready to be mates with Asher, or the queen, I’m still a princess by birth, as is Estee. Apparently, that means it’s only proper for the two of us to honor that title when out in public.
Hence, the tiara of diamonds placed atop my head and the pearls around my neck, along with the heels and navy-blue dress I’m now wearing.
Estee’s foot nudges me from across the carriage. She’s grinning and in her element with all this princess stuff, not seeming the least bit concerned. Our eyes meet and there’s a glint in her gaze that has never boded well for me.
“So, Sosheena,” she says. “Should we start with the kinder classes?”
I glance at the previous queen and hardly breathe as her face lights up. “You know, I was going to say the library, but you may be right, Estee.” She pauses then nods animatedly. “Actually, a few days with each class level could be just what Isla needs to trigger her memories. I’ll speak with the headmaster and see if the teachers wouldn’t mind doing a recap day for us to speed up the process.” Sosheena looks at me and smiles so widely that I can’t help but return the gesture. “Oh, Isla. You have no idea how much I hope this works.”
“You and me both,” I say sincerely. For more reasons than she can imagine.
We start to slow and I look out the window again. The carriage glides smoothly over a stone path, then starts to turn. There’s a large, five-tier fountain at the center of the circular entrance with a howling wolf sitting at the top of it.
To my right, there’s a beautiful building with lots of windows, at least four levels, and two grand doors at least twenty feet tall with intricate carvings on them.
I move to exit the carriage, but Sosheena lightly touches my wrist and shakes her head. Another second later, my door opens, and a gentleman greets us.
“Welcome back to Lunara Academy, Queen Mother Sosheena.” He then nods politely to me and my sister. “Princess Isla, Princess Estee.”
This is so unreal.
We step out of the cart and onto a stone pathway leading up to the massive doors that are already opening.
A man who appears to be in his thirties but could be hundreds of years old around here waltzes toward us, grinning from ear to ear and holding his arms out as he bows. “Your Highnesses. Your Majesty. We’re so glad you’ve come to visit our humble school once again.”
“Thank you for accommodating us, Headmaster Keenan.” Sosheena glides toward him and the two of them begin walking toward the entrance, but I’m still staring up at the stone siding, stained-glass windows, and the roses that are growing up the sides of the building.
Estee nudges me. “Come on. You can drool over all this later.”
“What did you mean by ‘kinder’ class before?” I finally ask her as we trail behind Sosheena and the headmaster, who are a safe distance ahead, having a private conversation.
“Oh, you’ll see.” She grins widely and I just shake my head. There’s no sense in arguing with her, especially when she adds, “Just keep an open mind and remember that anything is possible. Even in this world, there are no limits to what you can have, Isla. Your mind and your heart are at war even right now. Once you get them in sync, you’ll find the answers you’re looking for.”
There’s my optimistic best friend. She’s been so hellbent on leaning into her sassy side since last night that I almost forgot she usually does have the best advice.
“It just sucks not remembering,” I say, but before she can respond, a bell rings.
Considering this is an academy in an opulent kingdom, I expect to see children on their best behavior, wearing pressed uniforms, but that’s not at all what comes rushing out from the hallways around us.
Kids of all ages and sizes yell and laugh and come rushing by us, nearly knocking me over. They all wear matching clothing, but half of their shirts are either unevenly buttoned or left untucked as they run toward, I assume, their next classes.
Some wear little tiaras, others have jeweled pins on their lapels, but all of them radiate joy and nearly as quickly as the tiny tornados of chaos arrive, they disappear.
“That is a sneak peak of what you can expect in class,” Estee whispers as we catch up with the others. “Except there are also little ankle biters. Like, literal ones unless the rules have changed. I have vivid memories of idiot boys shifting and chasing us girls around the class anytime the teacher would step out.”
“Great,” I drawl, my shoulders drooping with the weight of how awkward all this feels.
Sosheena turns toward us, still smiling and emanating pure grace. “All right, ladies. I’ve been given instructions and while Estee had a great idea starting with the kinder class, we’re going to need to stick with the library today. How does that sound?”
“Absolutely perfect,” I tell her as I notice the headmaster walking away. “How do we get there?”
Inside the school, there are too many hallways to count, three different stairways, wide and swooping, and doors everywhere with silver plaques on them that I can’t read without getting closer.
“Right this way,” Sosheena says, gesturing toward the center set of stairs.
Estee walks with ease and I try to soak up her confidence. She has this incredible ability to believe that everything is always working out for her. Even more fascinating, things almost always do.
I had a hard time understanding that concept when she took the job in Seattle, moving away from me, but I’m sure if I said as much to her now, she’d find a way to see the bright side of that as well.
One of the classroom doors has been left open on the second floor. I slow as we walk by and notice teenagers sitting calmly at their desks. Except they’re not all wearing the same uniforms like the younger ones running past us were. I see clothing ranging from blues to maroons to charcoal grey to even purple.
“What’s with the different colors?” I ask once we’re past the door.
Sosheena answers first, eyes bright with pride. “Last century, I convinced the other leaders that it would be good for our children to co-mingle. We might choose to remain as four kingdoms after all these years, but we are still one people, and the children should understand that from an early age.”
My heart warms and I nod, unexpectedly wanting to cry for reasons unknown. “That is incredible. Do they live here while in school?”
“We have a limited number of dorms they stay in and we only keep them for eight weeks at a time so that we can bring as many children in as possible,” Sosheena answers. “We’re the only island with an academy of this magnitude, so the list to get in is quite extensive.”
No wonder she seems so proud.
The library is on the third floor and the only thing on this level, it seems. There are multiple doors to get in, each one leading to a different section. Sosheena doesn’t stop until we reach one titled “Our Beginnings.”
“You may have only been on your first life when you left here before,” she explains, “but I think understanding how your home came to be is important. So, we’ll find a couple of books here first and then go from there if that works for you.”
I nod because there is no way I’m going to disagree with her, but I do mention something Asher said before. “I was told there was a library at the castle as well. How come we didn’t start there if I’m not allowed to go in the classes today?”
“You’ll do both,” Sosheena says. “While we have an extensive library at home, there is nothing quite like the one here and today wasn’t about going to classes, anyway. You were supposed to just have a few meetings, but it seems there was a hiccup with communication and they’ve been moved out a couple weeks.”
She frowns and her chest rumbles a bit. I’m beginning to think that it’s not often this regal woman doesn’t get her way, but I’m more than okay with skipping the meetings for now. Books will hopefully be enough to trigger more memories for me.
“Well, this looks like a wonderful place to start,” I tell her with a genuine smile. “Thank you so much for bringing us here today.”
Looking around, I notice Estee has slipped away, but before I can go find her, Sosheena grabs my arm and leads me to the right.
“You’re going to love this place,” she says with glee. “There’s so much to absorb in here.”
Glancing around, I hope she’s right.
The bookshelves are at least fifteen feet tall, each with its own sliding ladder to reach the taller shelves. Every space is filled and there isn’t a single book that appears out of place .
Taking a deep breath, I expect a musty scent with how old everything looks, but there’s only a fresh, woodsy smell within the building. The ceiling is made up of carved, white flower tiles and there are thin windows placed on the front and back walls, letting natural light in.
Per Sosheena’s directions, I take a seat at a wooden desk with a padded bench seat. I barely get comfortable before she’s making a stack of books in front of me.
“Look these over,” she says as she moves between the shelf next to me and the table. “If the pages of a book don’t call to you, set it to the left. When something stands out, place it on the right and those will be what we take home.”
“Got it.” I peek around again for Estee, but she’s still nowhere to be found. Traitor.
Opening the first book, I flip through the pages, one at a time, until Sosheena places a warm hand on my shoulder. “Oh, no, dear. Not like that.” She takes the book from me and flips through so quickly that I can’t even see the words on the pages. “Trust the energy of the book. It will tell you when to stop.”
And here I thought things couldn’t get much weirder than learning wolf shifters were real and I’m one of them. Technically.
She chuckles, adding, “We’ll be here until dawn otherwise.”
Yeah, I’d rather not let that happen.
I look for Estee again, growing annoyed that she’s ditched me and I’m supposed to figure out this energy stuff on my own. Yes, I realize Sosheena is here and I could ask her, but that’s not the same as having my best friend by my side .
Doing as I’ve been instructed, I begin flipping through books only about half as quickly as Sosheena is placing them on the table. Before I know it, I can’t even see around me, as the stacks are getting so tall, but I do at least hear the hum of a song coming from Sosheena.
Each tome is in pristine condition, the hardback covers sturdy and the binding tight. Even the pages are crisp, but the dates tell the truth of their ages. I’ve seen books as old as 903 BCE and none newer than the 1500s. After flipping through a few dozen of them, I’m starting to wonder if I can’t feel whatever energy I’m supposed to and say as much to Sosheena.
She peeks over the top of the stacks and smiles down at me. “You’ll need patience, Isla. There’s a reason I’m drowning you in books. Out of the hundreds you touch today, we’ll be lucky if three of them speak to you.”
Oh. Great.
Another glance around for Estee with no luck and I continue to flip through the books as quickly as I can. It feels like two hours later and my fingertips are red, my backend is numb, and my stomach is beginning to growl.
I also want to murder my sister. How could she have just left me like that?
A little more aggressively than I mean to, I grab the next book and nearly drop it. Feeling guilty, I try to shove down my own annoyances and continue the job I’ve been tasked with. Though I’m convinced at this point?—
My thoughts are cut off when an electric shock rolls through me, forcing my eyes closed as I grip tightly to the book within my hands. I take a deep breath and my shoulders relax for the first time in over an hour.
Except I’m no longer in the library .
I’m in a bedroom, my bedroom. The walls are a seafoam-green color, the bed a soft cream. Paintings of flowers, the ocean, wolves, and… Is that Estee? I also see Asher and Noen depicted in the art. Each one hangs proudly on my walls, all signed with the same initials: IB.
I look down to see my hands are covered in paint and another canvas sits in my lap. My fingers glide over the surface and I smile. The cave.
There are no people in this piece, but I recognize the cave’s entrance from having just been there. Wait. There’s a flicker of something in the shadows. I lift the painting and peer close, but the harder I stare, the more my head pounds.
Still, I don’t relent.
Something is there and I want to know what. What was I painting in the darkness? What answers might I find there?
The bed starts to feel as though I’m sinking into the mattress. I drop the painting, grasping on to the bedding, pillows, and even the bedframe, but my touch never finds purchase.
I’m falling, my speed too fast. There’s no light around me any longer and my heart is racing, but I’m not afraid. No matter where I land, I’m going to be okay.
As soon as I accept that, I find myself within the cave. I’m not alone. Asher is here, his hand outstretched, waiting for me.
“Mate,” he whispers with a sexy grin.
I take a step toward him, eager to close the distance, then another. With every inch forward, my chest blossoms, heat unfurling from within me.
Mate. Mate. Mate.
This man. He’s mine, all mine, for all eternity.
I’m consumed with a love I don’t understand, with a sense of security I’ve never known .
I’m safe and loved and nothing can ever hurt me.
But it did.
I was ripped from life like petals from a flower.
Someone stole this feeling from me. They took away my light, my love, my everything.
Rage replaces the blissfulness that Asher briefly provided and instead of finding myself within the shadows of the cave with him, I’m back in my room at the castle.
Except it’s not how I last saw it when I left this morning. No, this is my room from five hundred years ago. I’m on a corded porcelain phone, making dinner plans. I can sense my unease, but underneath that, I have faith. No matter what happens, if I’m to become queen sooner than expected, as long as I have Asher, everything will be fine.
I go to the door. Someone is there, but the image becomes fuzzy. I can’t see who’s on the other side, but I trust them. I know this without a shadow of a doubt.
At least until a dagger protrudes from my chest and I’m falling to the floor.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. No, this can’t be happening. We were supposed to have centuries together. I can’t leave Asher now. Not yet, not when he needs me most.
My heart slows and I suck in a sharp breath. “Asher.”
His name is barely a whisper on my lips. My body is sweating and if I weren’t seeing my chest with my own eyes, I’d swear that dagger was still there.
My fingers rub over where the wound once was and tears fall from my eyes.
What the hell just happened?
“Estee, hurry!” Sosheena calls out, but I can’t move. I can’t do anything. “Isla, dear. Can you hear me? You were trapped in a memory, a strong one. Focus on what you saw. Don’t let the thoughts fade away, okay?”
I shake my head. I want them to disappear. Not because I don’t want to remember, but because this feeling of dying, I don’t think it’s something I can ever forget, no matter how much I’d love to.
Estee comes into my path of sight, eyes wide and body trembling. She shakes her head, covering her mouth and muffling a sob as she steps farther away from me.
I don’t understand. I need her now more than ever. Where is she going?
“I’m sorry, Issie,” she mutters, practically tripping over her own feet in her haste. “I’m so, so sorry.”