Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ISLA
I ’ve never had a blue vagina, but I certainly have one now and it sucks. It wasn’t my intention to end up sprawled out on Asher’s desk when I followed him back to his office, but I’m also not upset that I ended up there.
Well, besides the fact that we didn’t get to finish what we’d started.
I’ve spent weeks pretending I didn’t want to find out what having sex with an actual wolf god would be. Not because I think it would be a bad idea, but there’s been this little voice in my head that’s made me think that until I understand more about who I am that I shouldn’t throw pleasure into the mix.
That little voice is now going to be shoved into a steel box, never to be opened again because she’s an idiot.
I haven’t felt this alive since arriving in Lunara and I need more of Asher. No, I need all of him.
Except that’s going to have to wait until tonight.
Something must be wrong because Asher is rigid and not really talking to me. Thanks to the little crease between his brows, I think he’s doing that mind speak thing and I’m trying not to interrupt, but I also would love to be kept in the loop.
I tap on his shoulder and when he blinks several times before addressing me, I have my confirmation that he’s been speaking with someone else.
“What’s going on?” I ask as we start to descend the stairs.
“Elyn insists we meet her by the river,” he explains, his voice carrying an undertone of urgency that he doesn’t elaborate on.
“Okay, but there’s something more or”—I reach up, poking at his forehead—“you wouldn’t still be talking to someone in here.”
His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it still makes my stomach flutter, adding fuel to the still-smoldering inferno within me.
“You’re just as perceptive as you always were,” he replies, taking my hand in his as we keep walking at a swift speed. “I’m trying to figure out what the urgency is, but Mali doesn’t know, either. Elyn arrived by boat and the moment she stepped onto our land, she demanded to see you. I don’t like that she’s being so insistent, but I’ve also learned that our elders aren’t to be ignored.”
Right. Elder wolves. My dad is the oldest wolf I’ve met here so far at seven hundred eighteen years old. Something that is still hard to accept when he doesn’t look a day over fifty, but as my memories return, I’ve begun to just know things like how wolf shifters age quickest in their first twenty-five years of life, then that slows to a rapid crawl, and how they never appear older than their fifties until about eight or nine hundred years have passed or until they begin to stop shifting.
The energy used when transforming to one’s wolf is what makes the aging process of the human form slow to a snail’s pace, except for the ruling leader. Whoever is coined the Alpha King or Queen stops aging completely.
Until I remembered that, I realize I should have questioned why Asher still appears to be in his twenties, but I can’t really complain. I also try not to think too much about how technically, he’s centuries older than me.
Without really getting an answer, we continue to exit the castle. Outside, the crisp air brushes against my heated skin, and we find Noen waiting for us, his gaze seeming to be actively avoiding mine.
“Elyn insisted on the northern part of the river,” he says with a grimace, talking to Asher, then nodding in my direction. “It will take you all day to get there if she has to walk.”
Asher frowns, then looks down at me. “He’s right. I have an idea, but I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”
“And that would be?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“How would you feel riding on my wolf?” He smirks, a playful glint in his eyes. “The two of you already connected before and it’s the quickest way to get across the island.”
The image of me clinging to Asher’s ebony wolf immediately pops into my mind and I start to laugh because I look terrified, but still, I shrug because what other choice do I have?
“Let’s do it,” I tell him, still chuckling. “Just don’t judge me if I scream and don’t be worried, either. ”
That gives Asher pause and he tilts his head as if he’s going to question my response, but then he seems to decide otherwise.
“I’ll let Malimorte know we’re on our way, then,” he says, then he addresses Noen again. “Finish the preparations for tonight. We should be back before dusk.”
“I’ll let you know when the pack is ready.”
Noen turns to leave, and my chest is hit with a pang of remorse. I’m not sure what for. Maybe I’m grieving the friendship I only just remembered, or I feel sorry for him, but I can’t stop my next words.
“I hope I see you later, Noen.”
His shoulders tense and he opens his mouth, but then he keeps walking away from us without replying to me. Well, that didn’t go well.
Asher stares at me, his expression blank, as if he’s trying to hide how uncomfortable that just made him.
I pat his chest and do my best to explain. “I remembered our friendship. He was so sad before and he doesn’t seem much better. Regardless of what he may or may not have felt for me, he was still my friend, Asher. I can’t just ignore how he’s hurting.”
He grabs my waist, pulling on me until we’re pressed flush together. “And I can’t ignore how jealous that makes me.”
I tap his chin and grin. “You’re kind of cute when you pout.”
“‘Cute’?” He frowns. “ Cute isn’t what I’d imagine any respectable alpha wants to be called.”
Laughter bubbles up from deep within me. “Were you hoping for sexy or irresistible or tantalizing … ”
“Or all of the above,” he replies, leaning in to nip at my lower lip. “Now, are you sure about riding my wolf?”
I shake my head as I step back. “But I’m going to give it a try, anyway. Just know if I fall off, I expect a hot bubble bath, a full body massage, and all the chocolate-covered strawberries on this island.”
His eyes darken and his chest rumbles. “You can have all of that even if nothing goes wrong.”
Hm, yeah, probably not the best direction to take this conversation so soon after nearly ravaging each other in his office.
“You might want to shift now,” I tell him, creating more space between us.
“Right.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as I do my best to take in every second of the transformation, but once again, the change happens within the blink of an eye.
One second, I see a shimmer of energy around his human form and then in the next, his six-foot-tall wolf stands there, staring at me with an intensity just as strong as his human half.
Stepping forward, I reach out and his head nudges against my palm. “It’s good to see you again,” I say to the wolf with a sweet smile.
The beast growls softly as I scratch his head, sending vibrations through my body that release any bit of nerves I had about jumping on his back.
It doesn’t matter that he’s an animal. I know without a doubt he would never let me get hurt.
With that at the forefront of my mind, I move toward his side, never taking my hand away from his fur. “You’re going to need to lie down if I’m expected to get up there. ”
His back is as tall as my shoulders and without anything to use as a step up, I need him to get lower. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to mind and lowers himself for me.
Here goes nothing , I think as I throw my leg over the wolf. I hold on to his thick coat and when he starts to stand, my ankles dig into his sides, but he doesn’t make a noise, allowing me to hope that’s not uncomfortable for him.
Glancing down, I shudder. Yep. I’m not going to do that again. The ground looks much too far away, but that doesn’t matter. This wolf isn’t going to let anything happen to me. That’s all I need to focus on, or so I tell myself as he starts to trot.
His movements are slow at first until we get closer to the forest. As his speed picks up, I expect to feel every step he takes, but the quicker his pace, the less jostled I am. It’s almost as if his paws are barely touching the earth and if the wind weren’t whipping past us, I could almost believe we were barely moving.
My eyes close and I leave my cheek pressed against his back, keeping my trust in this powerful animal as I choose to enjoy the ride instead of the scenery. That’s something I can check out on the way back, hopefully when I’m running on my own.
I quiet my mind and breathe deeply as a tightening in my chest begins to take root. Not as if I’m scared, but something else I can’t seem to identify.
My emotions seem to be at war, feeling safe and content yet also wanting to burst free. Though I can’t tell what they want to be free from.
The harder I try to understand, the more my head begins to pound until I have to stop. Tension riddles my body and I groan, grinding my teeth together.
Asher’s wolf starts to slow and I try to tell him I’m fine, but when I open my eyes, I realize we’re no longer alone.
Malimorte stands under a weeping willow tree next to a river bend and beside him is a woman I can only assume is Elyn.
Her hair is all silver and fine wrinkles appear around her eyes and mouth as she smiles at me. I try to return the gesture, but with her lavender eyes locked on me, it’s almost as if I can’t even breathe.
She takes a step forward, her forest-green skirt swishing around her ankles. “It’s okay, Isobella. You’re safe now.”
Hearing the name that I was originally born with sends shivers down my spine that seem to force life back into my body as I start to sit up. My legs feel wobbly, but as Elyn comes closer, I know I have to stand on my own.
She pushes the sleeves of her black blouse up and reaches for me. “You have the strength of the gods within you, child.”
I blink, unsure how I’m supposed to respond. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to need me to as she continues. “Come.”
For an elder, she’s still quite strong, dragging me away from Asher and toward the water. I glance back and Asher is already back on two feet, watching us with concern.
“What are you doing, Elyn?” he demands, following us.
“What you’ve asked me here to do,” she quips without looking at him or stopping .
Asher’s chest rumbles and not in the sexy way it did earlier. “You have my respect as an elder, but I won’t play games. Tell me what your plans are for my mate.”
This has the older woman pausing. She stops and slowly turns her head, one greying eyebrow arched. “I don’t care who you are, Asher Josiah Cromwell. At my age, I no longer live by other people’s desires. I think that’s something I’ve earned after a thousand years of life. Now, do yourself a favor and go away.”
I cover my mouth, trying to hide my laughter because I shouldn’t love that she just put Asher in his place, but also knowing that this woman is incredible, and I want to be her when I grow up.
Malimorte joins Asher’s side and whispers something to him that I can’t hear. When Asher looks at me, there is only defeat on his face. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
“She won’t,” Elyn replies for me before dragging me toward the river again.
I at least wave to Asher and blow him a kiss before following the elder shifter.
I expect her to stop when we get to the bank, but fully clothed, Elyn ushers us into the water until we’re waist deep. When she looks at me again, her eyes are glowing, appearing to be a bright purple. “I felt you the moment I got off my ship,” she says quietly. “Your soul is screaming so loudly that I don’t know how you’ve been surviving, but we’re going to fix everything, Isobella. I can assure you that.”
“I actually go by?—”
Her head shakes just once. “I don’t care who you believe you are right now—your soul is Isobella. If you can’t honor her, then you don’t honor yourself. ”
Well, all right, then. I’m just going to keep my mouth shut.
“Good girl.”
She places a cold hand on my forehead and within seconds, the center of her palm begins to warm. “You’ve spent too many years locked away. Even now, there are restraints around your soul that need to be shattered. Do you feel them?”
“Uh, yes?”
She pinches my arm with her other hand. “Do not lie to me. We only have time for the truth. You either feel them or you don’t. It’s as simple as that.”
“I, uh, don’t feel them,” I say, reaching to rub where she pinched me, but she smacks my hand away.
“Stay still, then.” Elyn smirks. “This is going to hurt.”
The hand on my forehead lifts away, then slams against my chest so hard, the wind is knocked out of me. I try to breathe, but it’s like my lungs are filled with sand. Coughing feels more like choking and heat starts to unfurl within my chest, branding my bruised heart.
“What about now?” she asks, tilting her head. “Do you sense that which binds you?”
My eyes squeeze closed as I try to concentrate. “Something is burning my heart. Is that what you mean?”
“Ah, chains.” She clicks her tongue. “Not ideal, but I’ve dealt with worse. Though you’re not going to like me when we’re done.”
I start to ask what she means, but instead of words leaving my mouth, I choke on water. My arms flail, but again, her strength takes me by surprise as she pushes me further under the water.
Even beneath the surface, I can hear Asher’s roar of objection, but the seconds tick by and I’m still not allowed up.
My lungs start to fill with water and I expect pain, but instead, the grittiness from before is replaced with the soothing sensation provided by the river.
This is not how I imagined drowning to be.
I stop fighting, mostly because I’m running out of air and even if nothing hurts, I know what happens if I stop breathing for too long.
Dots start to appear in my vision and my arms relax, floating toward the surface.
Elyn’s fingers dig into my shoulders, and I swear, it’s like her voice is in my head as she whispers, “Try not to scream when you come back up.”
My head breaks the surface and whatever I thought pain was before is nothing now. My lungs feel as if they’re being ripped to shreds and I claw at my chest, desperate to rip my own heart out to stop the agony that grows within me.
“What is happening?” A firestorm is taking over my insides, destroying everything it touches.
“Someone cursed you, child,” she says calmly, as if me clawing at my chest were completely normal. “How did you die?”
“A dagger,” I screech into the abyss. “Someone stabbed me.”
“You’re really not going to like me after this.” She presses a finger into the center of my chest and it’s as if her nail cuts right through my skin. “Very powerful dark magic. No wonder you’ve been trapped.”
“Just fucking fix it,” I scream, my head thrown back and fists clenched .
“That’s not going to happen by my hand,” she says, “but I can do something for you.”
She shoves me back under the water and this time, I fight her. As the river washes over me, the relief is instant. The burning of my insides ceases, but after a few moments, I know what she means about the chains around my soul.
The weight of them presses in on my heart, tightening with every beat. It’s so subtle, but now that I know it’s there, I can’t deny their existence.
I reach for my chest again, pressing my palm against the heated flesh, but my touch is shoved away as Elyn does whatever it is she thinks will help me.
Once again, my body gets lighter until I start to float back to the surface. The elder wolf keeps one hand on my head and the other on my chest. I sense her energy, but I have no clue what she’s doing and I don’t care. So long as when I rise to the surface again, there’s no more pain.
“I need you to die, Isobella,” she whispers to me. “You must die to be reborn and even though you have this new body, your old one still lives. Kill yourself and you will live once again.”
What the hell is this crazy woman saying?
“I’m not crazy,” she replies, somehow hearing my thoughts. “I’m in your head, connected to your soul. Now, you must die.”
I still don’t understand, but when she forces my mouth open and I start to swallow water, I begin to realize that she truly means to end my life.
This time, I fight back, punching and kicking, but somehow, she evades every hit. I can hear Asher’s roars of wrath, but he never comes for me .
I try to breathe, but there’s no air down here and I’ve taken in too much water. Second by second, my body grows heavier and my heartbeat stops completely.
“You must die to be reborn again,” she repeats, and because I don’t have any other choice, that’s exactly what I do.