Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
ISLA
W ashing blood off my sister has to be one of the worst things I’ve ever had to do in all my lives. She cried the entire time, mumbling apology after apology until I finally yelled at her.
Then we laughed.
Laughed so hard that we both cried and then naked-hugged and giggled like schoolgirls as we joked about the two of us together just then being every man’s fantasy.
It was cathartic. The whole thing and now, it’s time to be fucking furious.
“Someone killed us, Estee,” I tell her as I braid her hair.
She’s sitting cross-legged in front of me on the bed as her chest rumbles. “I know. It’s been a long time since murder was all I could think about, but now, nothing would make me happier than to tear my teeth into someone’s neck or to rip their guts from their stomach or to make a million tiny cuts on their body, letting them slowly bleed out or even?— ”
I grab her shoulder and give it a shake. “I think I’ve got the picture.”
She looks back up at me and raises a brow. “Are you not in the mood to plot the gruesome death of our murderer?”
“I might be if we knew who they were,” I say with an aggravated sigh. “But we’re skipping a step. This whole time, I’ve assumed that I would get answers when my memories came back, but they’re here now, or well, mostly so, and I know in my heart that there’s nothing else to find in my head. We need to get creative and hope that son of a bitch is still alive so we can end his life.”
Her fingers drum over her knees. “Do you think it’s a man because that’s what your gut is telling you or because women aren’t capable of murder? You were enemy number one to a lot of our friends once it became public knowledge that you were to be queen one day.”
She’s not wrong, but it wasn’t just our female friends who changed then.
“Noen also wasn’t thrilled that day,” I say, hating the words more than ever before, but I also know that I can’t keep any thoughts to myself. Talking this out is going to be the only way that we find answers.
Well, and possibly using myself as bait.
Before I can tie the braid off, Estee gets up and off the bed. “You think Noen could have killed us? But he was like our brother.”
I shrug. “A brother whom I think was in love with me and that’s why he never did enjoy when I tried to hook the two of you up.”
Estee gags. “Gods, those were some awkward months.”
She isn’t wrong .
“I’m just saying, he’s been weird since I’ve returned,” I admit. “That could be because Asher’s jealousy came back with a vengeance or because there’s something there that we never wanted to see before. Either way, I’ve only had one very brief encounter with him where we were alone and I think it’s time that changed.”
The grin on her face is everything I was hoping for, especially when she says, “You want to make yourself a target.”
“I do.”
“Asher’s not going to like this,” she says, but I already know, which is why I’m going to need her help.
“Yes, but my sister is going to need me more than ever for the next few days and we won’t want to be interrupted.”
She shakes a finger at me. “You’re an evil genius. I don’t know where this is coming from, but I love it. Just remember that you and Asher are somehow mated now, and while that might ease some of his overprotectiveness because he’s now more connected to you, that also means he can track you easier.”
Shit. I hadn’t thought of that. Our mind link and the bond will make this a little harder, but I think I can get away with a few days of doing things he may or may not approve of.
“I’m not asking for permission with this, Estee,” I tell her confidently as I get off the bed. “I’ll ask for forgiveness later, but we need to do this. It’s our lives that were ruined by this.”
She walks toward me and places a hand on my shoulder. “And Asher was the one left behind, trying to pick up the pieces and keep living. Something not everyone we once knew was able to do.”
Damn her being so aware.
“Are you trying to talk me out of using myself as bait?” I ask because if even my sister believes this is a horrible idea, then maybe I’m thinking too emotionally.
She shakes her head and offers me a sweet smile. “Not at all. I think we need to try this at least once and see what happens, but I also want you to consider that we’re not the only ones allowed to be pissed or even terrified. Asher lost the love of his life. Our parents lost their children. For too long, I was without my sister, my best friend. I still don’t remember how I ended up with the same fate as you, but even I want to be careful. I won’t risk losing all of this again. Not you, or our home. This is bigger than us and while I think we need to be doing something about finding out who’s responsible, we need to keep the people we love in mind as well.”
My sister is the most perfect being in all the world and I can’t stop myself from throwing my arms around her neck. “Thank you.”
Emotions choke me and those two words are all I can manage. The depth of my love for this woman only continues to grow with every passing day. Knowing that I have someone like her who isn’t afraid of being honest and vulnerable, who sees the world through rose-colored glasses, and who has a lack of filter at all the best and worst times…
She’s everything to me.
“I love you, too.” Estee chuckles, wiping at her cheeks. “Now, can you quit drowning me with love so that we can make a plan for tonight? ”
I pull back but still keep a hold on her. “You want to try something tonight?”
Suddenly, I feel completely unprepared and a little shaky.
“Dad said there was a pack run scheduled for this evening,” she explains. “Every single wolf shifter within Polaris will be required to be in attendance, even if they don’t run. Asher will make a speech to the five hundred and something pack members before starting the run. Most of us will break off into groups, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the fact that I still can’t shift is going to throw me into a tailspin of grief and leaving me alone won’t be a good idea. I’m going to need my sister and Asher is going to need to lead his pack.”
While I have a feeling I know where she’s going with this, I still ask about her wolf first. “You had claw marks on your chest when we found you. How did…?”
Her face falls and she shakes her head. “I don’t really want to talk about that. Just know, I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I may have gone a little insane, thinking I could literally rip the pain from my heart, but it was nothing more than that.”
I hug her tighter than ever before. “I’m so sorry, Estee. I hate that you were hurting like that, all alone, and I didn’t come for you when I should have.”
“It’s okay,” she promises. “While my last life in Lunara is still fuzzy, I think being on my own was exactly what I needed, even if I lost my mind there at the end. But that’s only because I couldn’t see myself in the memories like you did. I didn’t consider the possibility that I wasn’t in control, but the moment you said my eyes weren’t normal, the relief was instant. ”
I pull back before I suffocate her. “Good. You have no reason to blame yourself for what happened to me.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still feel guilty.” She heads to my closet that’s half-empty now since I’ve been staying in Asher’s room. “I should have been smart enough to avoid whatever had control of me, but I at least no longer think that I killed you. So, that’s something.”
I guess that’s acceptable. For now.
I follow her into the closet and watch as she goes to the back wall, opening the drawers that hold my jewels.
When she turns around, a crown hangs from her fingers. “Our plan starts the moment you walk out of this room.”
Leaning against the doorway, I return her grin. “Tell me more.”
“You’re going to play the role of yourself,” she says, tossing the crown at me. “You need to be the Queen of Polaris, Is.”
I catch the silver-and-diamond adornment, carefully holding it between my hands. “How is that going to help us?”
“Because someone either didn’t want you to be mates with Asher or to be queen.” She puts her own tiara on. “We’re going to rub their failure in their faces tonight. Asher will be forced to announce the fact that you two bonded without the typical ceremony and that you’re officially part of the Polaris monarchy. More importantly, you’re going to own that role like the fucking queen you were always meant to be.”
Oh. Oh .
“You think if we enrage our attacker, they’ll try to take us out again. ”
She nods, stopping next at the fancier dresses I didn’t bother taking with me to Asher’s room. “Play your part and yes. I’ll be your weak sister who can’t cope with the shitstorm that’s been thrown at us and then, when we appear to be at our most vulnerable, we wait.”
I join her, grabbing a sleek, navy-blue silk gown from the rack. “They’re going to regret the day they messed with the Blackwood sisters.”
She nods, a spark of strength in her eyes. “I think that already happened when they were forced to kill me too.”
My head tilts. “What do you mean?”
“It was decades later that I died,” she says. “We weren’t both the original target. I might not remember exactly what happened those years after losing you yet, but I do know that there’s no way possible I would have rested until I learned why you were just gone. I still felt you in my heart, and yet you were nowhere to be found. Even if I don’t remember, I know I wouldn’t have let you go without a fight.”
“Wait.” I close my eyes, sorting through the knowledge I’ve begun to have access to. Estee just said that she still felt me in her heart. When we thought we were humans, we still shared a connection so strong that I was certain she was somehow my soul sister. That was before I even knew what that truly meant. I knew because it didn’t matter where we were, Estee and I were connected.
Elyn told me in that river that I had to die. That the old me was still alive. Could she have meant exactly what she said? Did I never truly die before?
“Holy shit,” I mutter, grabbing onto the shelf as a wave of dizziness overcomes me.
Estee reaches for my arm. “What is it? ”
I blink several times before being able to focus on my sister’s concerned gaze. “I don’t think we died.”
Her eyes pinch together. “Uh, yeah, we did. I stabbed you and then someone did something to me. How else would we have ended up on Earth?”
“We were never meant to be on Earth, not by normal standards, anyway,” I tell her. “I don’t think we were killed. I think we were cursed. Asher mentioned something about the dagger maybe being a dark object. If he’s right, this makes sense. Plus, the elder wolf Elyn told me I had to die earlier today. That’s when I was finally able to remember more and access my wolf. I couldn’t do those things before because I wasn’t actually dead, and I don’t think you were, either. Except you must have died differently than me because you’d gotten most of your memories back already.”
“But not my wolf,” she says, rubbing her chest. “She’s still not in here. No matter how much I begged for her company while I was gone, she never appeared. It took every ounce of strength I possessed to make my claws appear before I used them against myself.”
I grab her hand and head for the door. “Elyn needs to kill you.”
Her laughter is strangled. “I’m not sure I like this idea. Maybe we get through tonight first and see what happens.”
I nudge her with my shoulder. “Is my sister afraid of the elder wolf?”
“Maybe. Or maybe the risk of dying again and not coming back is more than I’m willing to gamble at the moment.”
Grabbing her hand, I squeeze tightly. “I didn’t even think about that. You’re right. We can stick with your plan and then circle back to this death theory after we figure out how desperate our murderer might actually be. Plus, if you have your wolf, you won’t need me to console you.”
“Exactly.” Her grin widens. “Now, you just need to make sure you keep Asher blocked from your thoughts before he gets suspicious. We’re only going to get one chance at this if we actually draw the attention we’re searching for. Let’s make sure we don’t fuck it up.”
She’s right and, while the thought of keeping Asher at a distance after I only just got him back makes my stomach churn, it’s a temporary discomfort that will hopefully lead to a lifetime of peace.
Asher will understand, or so I’ll keep telling myself until tonight is over.