Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
ISLA
W atching Noen become aware again, seeing how his face pinches and the tears that fall down his cheeks, I want to help him, to do something to ease his pain, yet that’s likely exactly how we ended up in this situation. I spent our childhood always attempting to heal the emotional and physical wounds his father had inflicted.
I can’t do that again. I won’t. Not when he could be responsible for taking the last five hundred years from me. No, not could be. He is. Why else would he be speaking with Declan, arguing about a dark object and me?
“Isobella,” he mutters, his mouth barely moving.
“It’s Isla,” I correct with a sneer. “You killed Isobella, stole her life—all because you couldn’t have her.”
He manages to lift his head up and look me in the eyes. “The only thing I’m guilty of is loving you more than I should have. I never could have hurt you, not then and not now. I mourned you just like Asher did. ”
Damn it, he’s good. There isn’t an ounce of insincerity in his tone. Even my wolf remains at the surface, curious about what the truth actually is.
“Then where’s Declan?” I ask, crossing my arms and taking another step closer.
“I don’t know,” he says devastatingly. “Like I told Mali, he misunderstood the argument we were having. I’m not working with Declan. Hell, I didn’t even know he had that damn orb until he tried to use it on me.”
“He’s talking about an orb that Declan had,” I tell Asher. “Should I ask him more about that?”
“Mali didn’t find it,” he replies. “We need to know how they got it and what it was used for.”
Giving Noen my attention again, I struggle to see him as a murderer when he looks so weak lumped over in the chair, barely able to move and openly sharing his anguish like a beacon within the room.
“Where did the orb come from?” I ask, keeping my tone even.
“I don’t know,” he says pleadingly. “Declan was waiting for me in my room when I returned before heading out to the pack run. I knew something was off with him and at first, I was trying to help him, but then he started rolling the orb between his hands. It was pulsing with dark magic and I could feel the energy trying to latch on to me. I smacked the sphere from his hands and that’s when he became uncontrollable.”
“How so?” I press, hating that I’m finding his words so easy to believe. Still, I have to admit that’s likely only because believing I could have been friends with someone who would do this to me isn’t the best feeling.
Noen starts to answer but then coughs until he begins to choke, fresh blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.
I step forward again, the instinct to help something I can’t fight, regardless of what may or may not be true.
My hand lifts, but I stop myself. Touching him would put me at risk. I know this and I won’t disrespect Asher’s wishes or break my promise.
Thankfully, his coughing ceases, but he’s wheezing heavily now. “You know, I used to think the magic within this room was a great tool. I never suspected I would be a victim of it.” He struggles to lift his head again, then gives up, continuing to speak without looking at me. “I’m running out of time, Is. My wolf can’t heal me in here and even if he could, I know Asher’s just waiting for his chance to end me. I don’t blame him, but I need you to know the truth.”
Gods, I don’t know if I can handle that right now.
“I was in love with you,” he admits. “You were the only light in my life, the only thing that kept me from running away. I knew it was wrong. I knew you belonged with Asher, but I couldn’t let you go, even when I should have.”
Briefly, his head comes up and he stares right into my soul. “I never could have hurt you. If I were capable of that, I would have tried to steal you from Asher before I would have ever thought to kill you.”
“What’s happening?” Asher’s voice sounds in my mind.
“I’m fine. Give me a minute.”
His growl moves through me. “Then why do you feel so sad?”
I can’t answer him. Hearing Noen out has to come first. I need to feel the truth, to understand what I never did before .
“You need to find Declan before it’s too late,” he pleads. “I don’t expect you to believe me, but if you find him and can figure out what that orb is for, then I know you’ll find the answers you need. If I could help you any more, I would.” His shoulders tremble as he adds, “I’m not ready to die, Is.”
This is so much worse than I could have imagined.
My wolf’s spirit settles over me and I’ve never wished to be able to speak with her more than I do now. Noen being guilty makes sense. He had reason to kill me before and he could have given Declan that orb, using it to send him after me.
So many scenarios and I don’t know how to find the facts. Yet the thought of believing Noen, of keeping him alive long enough to find Declan, that brings me peace, makes me feel better about this whole situation.
“We can’t let you out of this room,” I tell him, just so he doesn’t misunderstand what I’m about to say.
“I don’t want you to,” he replies. “I want there to be no doubt that when something else happens, you know I had nothing to do with this.”
“ When something else happens? What do you mean?” And just like that, I’m back to being uncertain of what is right and wrong.
“Declan tried to kill you last night,” he reminds me. “Don’t tell me you think he won’t try again or that someone else won’t? Someone doesn’t want you here, someone who has probably hated you this whole time without you ever knowing. Find that person, and soon, because I don’t even think Declan did this. At least not on his own.”
Please let him be wrong about that. If there is more than one person out there who wants me dead, I just might try to convince Asher to run away with me. Okay, that’s a lie. I’d never walk away from our home and our people, but the idea does have an appeal to it, I can’t deny that.
“There’s something we’re missing,” Noen continues, regardless of my continued silence. “Asher knew I was in love with you and that made me an easy suspect. But I’m not the boy you once knew. There’s a reason I’ve stayed away from you since you returned and it’s not because I’m guilty. I know better now and as much as I missed my best friend, I found a new one in Asher, and I never wanted to hurt him by getting close to you again. Even if that meant I lost both of you.”
He has another coughing fit, but this time, blood splatters everywhere from his mouth, barely missing my shoes. He’s bleeding internally. It wasn’t a lie when he said he was running out of time.
“You need to come in here and heal him,” I tell Asher. “He’s dying.”
“Good fucking riddance,” my mate replies harshly.
“We don’t have the whole truth,” I say, knowing this is hard for Asher to hear because Noen is right. It was so easy for us to believe he could have betrayed us, but I haven’t lived an easy life in five centuries. No sense in doing so now. “If you let him die before we find Declan, I don’t know if I’ll ever have the closure I need and I don’t think you will, either.”
Asher doesn’t reply right away and I can’t sit here, doing nothing. I go to Noen, lift his head to help clear his airway and rip a piece of his shirt to wipe his mouth with .
“Hang in there,” I whisper. “If you’re right—though I’m not saying I believe you—I will figure this out.”
He groans and starts to say something but then goes completely limp in the chair again.
“Don’t die on me yet, Noen,” I tell him sternly, then I turn for the door. There’s nothing left to learn in this room. Any other answers we need are out there somewhere.
I just hope Asher trusts me enough to help me find them.
There’s no handle on the interior side of the door. I raise my hand to knock, but it starts to open before I can.
Asher enters and I’m hit with a wave of fury.
I wince, hating that I’ve done this to him, but I don’t want either of us to have regrets when this is all over.
“If I’m wrong, if Noen is lying, I’ll kill him myself,” I say, placing my hand on Asher’s heaving chest. “Just help him stay alive long enough for us to find out the whole truth.”
Slowly, he turns his gaze until his fiery eyes land on mine. “I fucking hate this.”
“I know,” I say softly. “So do I, but we’ve already lost enough. Let’s make sure we have all of the information before we lose anymore. He meant something to you while I was gone. If he really did this, he isn’t going to get away with it, whether he dies now or in a few days. At least if we wait, there will be no questioning if we’re making the right choice.”
His sharp stare cuts over to where Noen still sits, unmoving. “My only hesitation in killing him right now is for your benefit, not mine.”
“Maybe that’s true right now, but if we learn Noen didn’t actually do anything, what then?” I press. “Will you still feel nothing toward his death?”
Asher’s teeth grind together and his chest rumbles so loudly, the vibrations move through my own body.
“Fucking hell.” He stomps toward Noen’s battered form and snarls. “You better fucking deserve this.”
I watch with pride as my mate makes the right choice. I understand his anger, but this is just one of the reasons why we were meant for each other. To support one another when our own emotions are too heavy for us to see reason.
When Asher comes storming toward me after giving Noen some of his blood, I expect him to blow past me and straight out the door, but instead, he grabs me by the waist and throws me over his shoulder. “You’re done in here. For good.”
That, I can be okay with. I shouldn’t ever have a reason to come in here again. Even though I offered to kill Noen myself if I’m wrong for trusting him, I know Asher would never let me do that. Not even if I begged him to allow me that moment.
Well, maybe then, but still. He’s too good to me, either way.
From my position, I see Mali slip back into the room, hopefully to continue keeping watch and nothing more.
Asher remains silent as he marches through the dark stairwell and I want to say something, but I have a feeling giving him some time to process what I’ve asked of him is necessary.
He exits into the main part of the castle again, and I assume he’s going to put me down, but instead, he growls at the nearest group of people and keeps walking once they scatter out of the way.
“Asher Josiah Cromwell, I taught you to behave better than that.”
Sosheena’s voice sounds from up ahead and oh, how I wish I could see the two of them glaring at each other right now. I try to wiggle out of Asher’s grasp, but his fingers dig further into my thighs. I guess I’ll stay right here.
“Your office,” she demands. “Now. And unless Isla’s legs have suddenly stopped working, put her down.”
Again, what I expect doesn’t happen. He actually listens to her and when I can see his face, it’s almost as if he’s turned to stone. The tension in his jaw is so tight, I’m surprised it hasn’t cracked.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, guilt nearly consuming me.
He looks down at me and while he’s still rigid everywhere else, the sorrow shining through his eyes speaks volumes as he says, “No, I’m sorry. I just need time and, more importantly, information. You were right and I’m only furious because I thought we were close to being done with all of this, but if Noen didn’t do this, and Declan wasn’t working alone, I feel ten steps farther behind.” He grabs both of my hands. “I can’t fail you again.”
With every ounce of love and confidence I possess, I say, “You won’t. No matter what happens, we can’t control our fates. This is going to work out exactly how it’s supposed to, and however that is, it will never be your fault.”
He shakes his head. “We can’t talk about this right now. ”
What he really means is that he doesn’t believe me, but that just tells me that I’m going to have to do my best to make sure we get the happy ending I know we deserve.
“Let’s go see what your mother wants, then.” I take a step to the side so he can lead the way.
Asher wraps an arm around me, holding me with the utmost care again, all while he still thrums with a vehemence so intense that I’m not surprised I don’t see any of the staff moving through the castle like normal.
Gods, I hope Sosheena isn’t about to tell us something to make this morning any worse.