11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
W e enter the car and, as John starts driving, I check the package.
“So, we have the Dying Breath and Witch Flesh.” I look at the tiny vials, shaking them in my hand before placing them back in the small suitcase.
“We need to gather the Witch Skull, Witch’s Soul, Moonlight, and Anise.” John casts a glance at the suitcase before returning his gaze to the road.
“I think I know where we can find the rest.”
“Good, because my other contact said he won’t have it in time, and we don’t have time to waste.”
I have time to waste , I want to say, but that would be a lie because my grandma’s life is at risk. Curiosity pecks at me. What is his reason for doing this? His reason for not having time?
“I’m pretty sure we can find some of those ingredients back at my grandma’s.”
I turn my head and look at his profile. Deep lines adorn his face, and he exhibits such control. He doesn't like to show that he's not in control. There's something insanely sexy about it, but at the same time, it’s daunting.
“Why are you doing this?”
“What do you mean?” he asks, sparing me a single glance before tearing it away. I notice him tightening his grip on the wheel as his jaw stiffens.
Turning away, I look out of the window, trying to concentrate on anything else but this feeling that I'm missing something. That he’s keeping an important part of the ‘mission’ a secret. Dread settles inside me that something will backfire.
Maybe wanting to finally free my magic has already blinded me. This was a mistake. I shouldn't play this kind of game, not when I have everything to lose. But what does he have to lose?
“Many years ago, those witches took something really important to me, and now… now, I want revenge.”
His words break me from my thoughts, and I find myself looking closely at his expression. I put my hand on his arm, trying to comfort him, feeling the stiffness of his muscles. I want to push for more, but I don’t.
“I'm sorry,” I say breathlessly.
The rest of the trip passes in silence until John cuts the engine near my grandmother's house. At that moment, the realization dawns on me that I didn't give him her address.
"How did you know she lives here?"
"I make it my business to know everything about you."
"I'm flattered," I lie. I’m totally freaked out.
He turns, facing me, confusing me even more. His eyes are full of hope. They are saying one thing when his lips utter the opposite.
Until his face turns sincere. "You shouldn't be. In fact, you shouldn't have agreed to my deal in the first place." When his voice is severe, his eyes are empty of emotion. He really means it.
What have I gotten myself into?
"So, what now?" Swallowing hard, I whisper as a million questions bubble in my head.
"Now, it's too late," he finally says.
"I don't get you. One minute, you’re nice, and the next you’re this…"
"Monster? Yeah, get used to it, sweetheart."
I was going to say depressing and unkind, but monster is also an option.
Ignoring the sweetheart , I say, "We should get inside. The faster we get all the ingredients, the faster we move forward and get this over with."
Without waiting for his answer, I get out of the car and slam the door behind me.My rage is overflowing, and my stomach clenches as regret gnaws at me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I know I shouldn't have made a deal with a vampire, but here I am.
What is he going to do now? He can’t just kill me. He needs me.
“Monster or not, I don’t give a damn. For now, our purpose is aligned. I guess we’re kind of stuck," I taunt him, knowing he needs me as much as I need him, if not more.
I think I understand now why he searched for me in the first place. My best guess is because that witch following him around isn't strong enough. Flashing my best smile, I turn to face him, just as he pulls at my grandma’s back gate.
They say silence is an answer, so I take his silence as one.
Before I comprehend what’s happening, fear and excitement hit me. I feel his warm breath on my face .
"Don't think your role here is more than it is. You are replaceable. Everyone is replaceable," he whispers, emphasizing the word replaceable .
Disappointment settles in my stomach, and I take a deep breath before answering. "That means you are also replaceable. If there really is a solution to being able to get my magic back, then I don't need you." I can't hide my anger as I speak, trying to break free from his hold.
"You're right. But you can't hurt me like you think. Now get your cute ass in there, sweetie, before I really regret putting you through all of this.”
"As soon as this is over, you and I are done."
"Good."
He releases his grip and, all too quickly, I pull away from him. He's too close for my sanity. Take a breather, Hailey.
Straightening my gaze, I ignore his piercing look and turn to Grandma's house.
Inside, the first thing that strikes me is the quiet. With Grandma at the hospital, this place feels darker and lifeless. She brings a fresh brightness to this place, and with her absence, it’s gone.
I cross the living room to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water from the tap before taking a long sip. I didn't know how thirsty I was until I felt the water moisten the dryness in my throat. I swallow the water and fill another glass.
Turning back, I expect to see John in the doorway, but he's not there.
Placing the empty cup in the sink, I walk back to the living room to find John with his back to me. “You were quite a small little thing, weren’t you?” he remarks. He breaks his stare from the old pictures above the fireplace and looks at me, making me blush with annoyance.
“I was a kid,” I say, turning down the corridor and walking to the last door. Without waiting for a response or to see if he is following me, I turn the knob and descend downstairs.
It’s been a while since I came down here, but I know my grandma loves this place and keeps it clean with a fresh herb smell. I love it here too. The basement is like the heart of the house. It’s where all the knowledge is, where the memories and the fragments of our family line up together.
Contentment laced with inner peace sinks inside me as I drink in the old beauty of the place, and I relish the smell of home.
My ancestors owned the house, and this basement was the place for illegal rituals and herbs. After my bloodline was cursed, my great-grandma a few generations back was able to obtain enough magic to keep the herbs growing without seeing a touch of sun or air. This is the single use of magic that was passed along.
Blowing out a breath, I push myself to the center of the room, inhaling the anise planted on the ground. Smiling to myself, a memory of my grandma and me breaks free.
“Granny. Granny, I don’t feel well.” I push my little finger at her sleeping form. “Granny, Mommy is gone,” I say through tears. It’s the fourth time this month that Mom just disappeared, leaving me alone. I promised I would be a good girl so she would stay. I guess I failed again.
I continue poking her until her snoring stops and she opens her eyes.
“My stomach hurts,” I whisper.
“Oh, honey. Come on.” She puffs loudly before standing up and moving downstairs. Skipping the kitchen, she goes down to the basement, and I follow, the pain blurring my thoughts.
“It hurts,” I say, trying to stop the tears.
Granny doesn’t like it when I cry. She says I’m too big to cry and that adults don’t cry at all because life is difficult as it is. She even once made me promise her that I would try to be strong. And I tried, I really did, until now. I miss my mommy; I don’t like it when she disappears.
“Where is Mommy?” she asks softly.
“I don’t know. I woke up and she was gone.” Sniffing to hold back the tears, I follow her to the center of the basement.
“Come on. I will make you some tea.”
Taking a seat on the chair I feel the pain intensify. I wipe the tears with my pajama sleeves to get a better look at what Grandma is doing.
She bends down to the small greenhouse, pushing her hand through the magical almost invisible ward before plucking a few leaves of anise. Gasping, my eyes lock on the way the magic flows through the dome, kissing her fingers.
That’s so cool. Wait until I tell Mommy. She will regret missing that.
My lips spread into a silly smile as I get up, and before I know it, I thrust my finger right into the ward. Power spreads all around me, making me shiver as excitement and cold wash over me. I swear I can feel butterflies in my stomach.
“Hailey, don’t!” my grandma scolds me.
I quickly move my hand away, my startled gaze landing on her nervous face.
“Listen to me. Don’t ever do that. Ever. You hear me?”
Nodding frantically, I move to the chair, fighting against the tears as they try to break free. “I’m sorry.”
Worry is written all over her face. “I know you are, but you can’t ever touch that.”
“Never?”
“Not until you’re old enough. This magic can corrupt you if your spirit isn’t strong enough”.
“Like with Mommy?” I ask, remembering her hooded eyes and nervous look right before she disappeared like she does every few days.
“Yes.”
“Okay, I can wait,” I lie. The power I experienced wasn’t like anything I had ever felt before.
After that night, I promised myself that I would be a good girl and learn my true self, just so I could once again feel the magic of the ward.
And when my mother disappeared again and again, I stopped waiting for her.
“This is beautiful,” John says, startling me. I turn around, finding him standing next to me with a look of wonder towards the plants.
“Yeah, it is,” I reply, looking back at the plants before taking a deep breath. I have to do this.
“How is it that the magic works here?” he asks curiously.
“It’s basically the only place that we can feel the magic on the outside. The ward is what’s left of our dynasty with the house. The house did go through renovations over the years, but this part of the house remains the same. Grandma says it's the only gift they left us."
I call it a curse because it gives us a glimpse of the power we could have but never will.
Through the years, I tried asking Grandma when I would be ready to take my own cuttings of plants. Time and time again, she said it was too early, that I was still too young. I guess there isn’t a better time to embrace a glimpse of my power without going nuts afterwards.
Pushing my hand inwards, I cross the dome as a wave of power kisses my skin, making my skin tingle. Sighing lightly, I close my eyes as another wave caresses me. Stronger. The feeling is more stimulating than I remember. More tempting than I want to remember.
“You okay?”
I open my eyes and remember I’m not alone. How can I explain to an outsider this nagging feeling that I have? This feeling that reminds me of the absence of my power. The emptiness in the pit of my stomach, so strong that just a drop of power makes me lose myself in it completely.
Embarrassment overwhelms me and, without answering, I hurry to pick some anise leaves. I move my hand away from the circle as the anise branch grows its leaves back.
Just as I remembered. My lips curve into a smile and, just as quickly, the smile is erased as my grandmother's face flashes before my eyes.
I'm doing it for you. It's worth the corruption. It’s worth anything.
Taking a deep breath, I stand up and turn to face John. “Now we have the anise.”
“That’s fascinating how this whole place work when you don’t have magic.”
“Yeah, it is” to pass him, but he blocks me.
“This place is your encore, your family’s encore” His fascination with this room makes me more bitter. I cast an annoyed look at him. He levels his stare as his eyes sparkle with curiosity; talking about our supposed magic never was an easy subject.
I’m about to ask him to shut it, when suddenly the ground starts shaking under me, making my legs give away.
It all happens too fast. Within a heartbeat, his strong, warm arm catches me, pinning me to his chest. All the while, the cold washes over me as he flashes us up the stairs.
I close my eyes as my breathing becomes shallow, making me cough, but I still don’t dare to open my eyes. Instead, I squeeze them tighter.
Oh, Granny, forgive me. I’m still weak.
Thinking of my grandma, fear spreads in my belly, making me tremble .
If only a touch of magic sends me running, what will restoring my own magic do? What if my body rejects it?
A sob escapes me; I was na?ve.
“Hailey? Are you okay?” John asks. His deep, rich voice brings me to the present. Opening my eyes, I come face to face with him. He’s so beautiful.
“I’m okay,” I say, wiping my eyes with the end of my sleeves.
“You are not. Tell me what’s wrong, or our contract will be broken.”
Taking a deep breath, I say, “I think that’s for the best.”
His voice turns sharp. “You don’t mean that. You want to save your grandmother. You won’t give up on her.”
“You don’t know me well enough to say that.”
“I know you don’t just stop. I followed you long enough to know that you care for her more than your mother.”
“You know nothing about my mother. You don’t know her.”
“I’ve heard about her. The blood junkie wannabe witch. Everyone knows about her.” he sneers in disgust.
Shooting up, I launch myself at him. Pushing one fist at his chest, I aim the other at his face, only to be stopped.
He blinks behind the couch, flashing me an amused grin. “As much as I love my women feisty, I think you’re doing it wrong. It’s cute but wrong. ”
I run around the couch feeling stronger as adrenaline pumps in me. I try to strike him once again, but he’s stronger than me. Placing his palm at the base of my neck, he holds me in place.
“Stop. I will leave for now, but I will be back.”
Blowing out a breath, I lean on the couch as my body grows weak. I want to stop this, to say I’ll do it, that I have to try for my grandma, but all I do is watch him leave.