15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
“ Y ou didn’t have the right to do that.” Pushing him away, I walk to the driver’s seat.
“You really think punching her would have helped?”
I think about it for a moment. Maybe it wouldn’t, but it might have helped us get what we need. Either way, it would have done me a lot of good to see her smug smile disappear, even if only for a moment.
Grunting, I get inside the car.
“Just so you know, when this is all over, I would like nothing more than to see you get back at her,” he states, leaning back in the chair.
“I can’t give her my grandmother’s book. It’s part of my heritage. I won’t just give it to her.” Turning the engine key, I start the car.
“We don’t have a choice. We have to move forward with the plan. Your grandmother’s life is also at risk. You know that.”
My hands start to sweat, and my breathing comes out harshly. My grip on the steering wheel tightens so hard that my knuckles turn white.
“We need you to figure it out fast.” I need him to stop.
This is pointless. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of saying that my family is doomed. It hurts to think; I can almost feel the fragments of my magic protest.
I open my mouth to speak, to say that I give up and that his being here awakens the pain I stashed away years ago. But then the wheel inside my head starts turning, giving me a way to try.
I can’t go there again. Last time, I almost lost myself to depression. Last time, I promised to never go through that again. Blowing out a strangled breath, I shake my head. How can I give up when there is even a single chance of getting my magic back? Frustrated, I look over at John just as his phone rings.
John takes his cell out of his pocket and answers the call."Yes?" Trying to hear the other line, I tune my thoughts out as I navigate the car. The voice on the other side is distorted and all I can hear is I found her. Curiosity rises in me.Who is he looking for?Is it related to what we’re doing?Or is this another one of the many secrets this man holds?A monster, not a man.I must not forget it.They say that the devil hides in the sweetest form there is. If John is the devil, then his guise is a god.Pushing the unwanted thoughts aside, I focus back on the conversation."Are you sure?" Turning to look at the window, he blocks my small chance to overhear. More curious than before, I wait for him to finish, needing to know what this is all about. Almost missing the turn, I quickly recover, focusing on the road. As I get near my grandma’s house, sadness washes over me. She would be so disappointed in me for just thinking about giving up her grimoire, never mind actually doing it.
How can I make such a difficult decision?
On the one hand, my grandmother's life can change for the better if all this is successful. On the other hand, for this to happen, I need to give up the most precious book of all. And I know how precious her books are to her. Especially her grimoire. Frustrated with myself, I let out a heavy sigh.
Making a mental note to talk to Rosie about her, I kill the engine.
“Okay, I’m on my way,” he says before ending the call .
“Is everything okay?”
“I’ve got to go. I’ll be in touch. You can’t wait too long to give Kim that book. We don’t have time.” My grandma doesn’t have time.
Opening the door, he moves to get up when I stop him. “When will you be back?”
“Soon.” That’s all he says before flashing out of there with lightning speed.
***
Frustrated with the thoughts banging in my head, I change the route and just drive. I can't bring myself to be close to the book. Not when despair consumes my thoughts. I can't do that to Grandma, but on the other hand, the whole process might save her.
Might. I can't be sure, but isn't any chance worth trying?
If she had been awake, she would have been disappointed to find the family book was gone. We may not be in control of our magic, but the history that has been passed down is the core of our meaning. Sometimes history is stronger and more important than power itself.
Gathering up the necessary courage, I stop the car at the hospital entrance.
With shaky hands, I make my way to her room. Noticing a nurse walking out of the room, I quickly catch up with her, asking about my granny. Once she informs me that her condition is the same, the dread I feel intensifies. "Her last scan came today"
"Okay,and?"
"It's al lup to her now. We did everything we could" As she says those words I feel as if the floor was shaking. Not finding any words I just nod.
With heavy footsteps, I enter the quiet room where the only sound is of the machines, notifying me of her life.
“Hello, Granny,” I say in a small voice, sitting on the vacant chair. “The house isn’t the same without you. In fact, nothing is the same without you. I miss you so much. Please open your eyes for me. Please.” Trying to hold back the tears, I fail as a miserable cry pushes out of me. “I don’t know what to do.”
Taking her cold hand in mine, I close my eyes as fat tears travel down my cheeks.
She is the only mother I have ever known after my own abandoned me over and over. All for the pleasure of her addiction. Granny was always there, taking care of me, making me feel better, loving me.
Taking a deep breath, I wipe away the tears with the palm of my free hand before pushing the chair closer to the bed. Laying my head down near her, I continue, “I have done something that you might find stupid, but I did it to restore our magic. I knew you wouldn’t like it, and you won’t agree, but it’s the only chance I have to save you.”
I can only imagine her face knowing what I’ve done. A rebellious smile spreads across my lips. “I made a deal with a vampire. I know what you would say. It’s a mistake and you taught me better, but I had no choice. I still don’t.” She would be livid, maybe even disown me from our family legacy. “I did it for you. I would do anything for you, Granny.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I open my eyes to look at her, only to find her eyes wide open.
Frightened, I get up quickly and step back, only to get stuck in the chair. Blinking a few times, I look deeper into her face as relief washes over me.
"Grandma, you woke up." Closing the distance between us, I crash into her, hugging her tightly.
"Not exactly," she replies in a detached voice.
Confused, I release her and take a step back to examine her. "I don’t understand."
"We are in your thoughts. Deep inside. "
"How does that make sense? We don't have magic."
"Our magic will always be a part of us, no matter what. The real curse is the belief in it. The belief that we have no magic when magic is all we are. It is us."
"How do you do this?"
"It's a little trick I picked up over the years."
"I miss you so much," I say, feeling the tears again starting to burst out.
"I know, honey. Me too," Her eyes soften.
"Please tell me you have a way to get back. Tell me what needs to be done. I'll do anything. Anything you want."
"My time is limited. I don't have much left." Shaking my head, I refuse to accept her words. No. No. It can’t be.
"I refuse to accept it."
"I know, honey."
"I made a deal. I have a way. It will work."
"Promise me you won't do it. Promise me now," she says firmly.
"I can't," I whisper in a broken voice. “I can't. I won’t."
"It's too dangerous. You know we've tried everything—anything—possible. It's not worth it for you to stain yourself like that."
"It is. For you, it is."
"You're acting like a brat. I raised you to be more than that," she says harshly.
Desperate, I let out a choked breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't lose you."
Her voice softens once again. "You will never lose me, honey. I will always be with you. I will always be here."
I shake my head. I’m not ready to accept a reality where she isn’t here. She’s too young to die.
I've always been a rebel. My mother was rebellious to my grandmother, and my grandmother to her mother as each tried to find her own way in life. And I realize that no matter the consequences, I won’t ever give up on trying to save her, just as she saved me when I was young and confused.
“I promise you.”
Relief floods her face and her lips curve into the smile I've missed so much. “Thank you.” Taking her into a deep hug, I inhale her smell as I hear her whisper, “Wake up.”
Startled, I open my eyes to discover her in the same position as before, lying with her eyes closed tight.
Standing up, I say, "I promise, Grandma, that I will never give up on you."