Chapter 26 #2
Inez was clearly nervous too, which helped to allay Sive’s fears. This situation might be awkward as hell, but clearly none of them was interested in a confrontation. They were all invested in making this work, and it would be horribly uncomfortable at worst.
‘Well, isn’t this … nice?’ Bridget said in an obvious effort to break the tension.
Sive cast around for something to say, but her brain froze. ‘So you’re the woman my boyfriend left me for.’ She clapped a hand to her mouth, eyes wide with horror, wishing they could go back to awkward silence. She had not meant to say that.
Ben was blushing furiously, but to her relief, Inez laughed. ‘And you’re the woman who’s having my boyfriend’s baby. Congratulations!’
‘Thanks,’ Sive said, not sure if Inez was just a great actor and they should hire her on the spot for their next production, or she really was cool with the turn of events.
‘Oh, look, there’s Mimi,’ Bridget said rather shrilly to her husband. ‘We should go and say hello. I haven’t seen her and Aoife in ages.’
Cal looked all too happy to escape as they fled the scene arm-in-arm.
‘Ben tells me you’re an actor,’ Inez said to Sive, ‘and you own your own theatre. That’s so cool.’
‘Yes, you should come and see our show while you’re here. How long are you staying?’
‘I’d love that. We’re here for a week,’ Inez told her.
‘It’s Scrooge, right?’ Ben asked warily.
‘A Christmas Carol, yes.’
He looked relieved. ‘Well, that doesn’t sound too bad.’
‘Can we use that on the posters? “Not too bad – Ben Rafter”?’ Sive traced the words in the air with her hand.
Ben chuckled, ducking his head sheepishly.
‘Seriously, though, I think you’d really enjoy it. It’s good fun. And there are mince pies!’
‘We should definitely go,’ Inez said, smiling up at Ben.
‘If you like. Are you all in it?’ he asked Sive.
She shook her head. ‘Just me and Mimi. And Sam – you remember Sam?’ She nodded across the room at him.
He was in an animated conversation with Rocco, with lots of back-slapping and hand gestures and full-throated laughter.
She was once more struck by how very different Sam and Ben were.
She could hardly have picked two people more unalike.
But maybe they were the right boyfriends for different times in her life.
She no longer wanted to be with Ben, but she didn’t regret him.
‘Yeah, I remember him. I didn’t know he was an actor.’
‘It’s his debut.’
When Inez excused herself to go to the bathroom, Sive caught Sam’s eye and beckoned him over.
She’d told Ben that she was seeing Sam on their last call and she was nervous about them meeting.
But she needn’t have worried. Sam was so affable and Ben so taciturn, there was no chance of even a hint of hostility between them.
She marvelled as Sam even managed to get a couple of sentences out of Ben.
Maybe this could work, she thought, relaxing, and they could all be one big happy, if unconventional, family.
‘Seems like a good bloke,’ Ben commented when Sam had moved off.
‘He is,’ Sive said, as she watched Sam walking away. ‘He’s a very good bloke.’
Sive didn’t realise how wound up she’d been about this morning, but she was weak with relief now that she and Inez had broken the ice and it had all gone fine.
They’d undoubtedly have to have more in-depth and serious conversations in the future and iron out the details of their complex relationship, but the hardest part was over.
When Inez returned from the bathroom, Mimi and Aoife came over to be introduced, and Sive was pleased to see that even Mimi was intent on being friendly to both her and Ben. She left them chatting and went to the kitchen to plate more canapes as they were running out.
She was arranging filo parcels on a plate when Inez came into the kitchen. She looked around the room quickly, ascertaining there was no one else there, then joined Sive at the worktop.
‘Sive, I wanted to speak to you alone for a minute, if that’s okay?’
Sive’s heart sank, but what could she say? She got the feeling Inez had followed her in here deliberately. ‘Sure.’
‘There’s something I want to say to you – about me and Ben.’
Oh, here we go, Sive thought, her stomach curdling. She’d been wrong about no one wanting a confrontation. Inez was just waiting until Ben was safely out of the way before she came out, all guns blazing. She was an idiot to think this could have been so easy.
‘I don’t know how much Ben’s told you about us,’ Inez began, and Sive’s stomach plummeted deeper.
She wished someone would come in and interrupt Inez’s confession.
She really didn’t want to hear that Ben had lied when he’d said he hadn’t cheated on her, that he and Inez had been together in Nepal.
She was better off not knowing. That way she could pretend everything was fine, that Ben had acted as honourably as he’d claimed, and they could go on being friends and co-parenting their child.
She didn’t want to deal with whatever bombshell Inez was about to drop.
She wished she could stick her fingers in her ears and go ‘la-la-la’ like a child.
When Sive didn’t fill the gap Inez had left, not wanting to do anything to move this conversation along, she continued, ‘But nothing happened between us in Nepal.’
Sive felt almost sick with relief. ‘Really?’ She finally stopped what she was doing and turned to Inez.
‘He told me he had a girlfriend. And I don’t do that, even if Ben would have, which—’
‘He wouldn’t,’ Sive finished for her, glad to help Inez out now that she knew she wasn’t going to say something devastating that would blow the happy family she’d been imagining to smithereens.
‘Exactly.’ Inez smiled fondly. ‘I know this is really awkward, and I’m sorry if I’m ruining your day, but I just wanted you to know that.’
‘Thanks.’ Sive smiled at her. ‘I appreciate that. It’s what Ben told me, but it’s nice to hear it from you. I suppose it shouldn’t matter to me now. It’s not as if we’re together anyway. But…’
‘You don’t want to think of him as a cheater,’ Inez said, nodding understandingly. ‘I get it.’
‘Yeah. I always thought he was one of the good guys, and I’d hate to have been that wrong about him.’ She smiled. ‘And you’re okay with him being involved in this child’s life? Because he really does seem to want to be a dad.’
‘Of course. I wouldn’t want him to be the sort of person who’d abandon their own child. I don’t want to have been that wrong about him either.’
‘So, you and Ben,’ Sam said, when she’d returned to the living room.
She followed his gaze. Ben was sipping from a bottle of beer and talking to Aoife.
Or probably not so much talking to her as giving the odd shrug or monosyllabic answer in response to her attempts to drag some conversation out of him.
Maybe she should go over and rescue Aoife.
Or Ben, she thought as she saw Mimi join them.
‘Yes, me and Ben?’ Sive shifted her focus back to Sam.
‘How are things between you now?’
‘They’re fine. We’re still friends – good friends – but we’re not going to get married or anything.’ She took a sip of zero percent cava. ‘He did ask me, but we decided against it.’
Sam’s eyebrows shot up. ‘He asked you to marry him?’ He glanced across at Ben, frowning now.
‘Yes, but not because he really wanted to. He just thought it would be the right thing to do.’
‘And what about you? Did you think it’d be the right thing to do?’
Sive shook her head. ‘I thought it’d be the most wrong thing we could possibly do. I suppose on paper it seems like a good idea, both parents living together. But the reality would be a disaster. His heart wouldn’t be in it. And mine wouldn’t either.’
‘Phew!’ Sam grinned. ‘Very glad to hear it.’
‘That went well,’ Mimi said when the guests had all gone and it was just the six of them in the house again.
‘It went brilliantly,’ Sive said, feeling drunk on relief and non-alcoholic cava. ‘I can’t believe so many people came. We should do it every year.’
‘Yes, lets!’ Aoife said. ‘It was fun, and it was so lovely to see everyone.’
‘Inez seems really nice,’ Mimi said to Sive’s surprise.
‘She does, doesn’t she?’
‘I’ll say this for Ben, he always had excellent taste in girlfriends.’
They spent the next few hours cooking and prepping dinner together, sipping champagne as they worked and chatting about the party, while a playlist of Christmas songs played in the background.
It was early evening when they sat down to dinner – including Marlowe, who leapt onto the chair that had been placed beside Mimi for him.
The table was covered with a crisp white cloth, sprigs of holly and mistletoe artfully arranged along its centre.
Six places were set with sparkling silverware and cut crystal glasses that caught the light from the flickering candles.
The delicious savoury aroma of roast turkey filled the air as dishes were uncovered and wine poured.
‘Happy Christmas, everyone,’ Aoife said, raising her glass in a toast.
‘Let it always be said of us that we know how to keep Christmas well,’ Mimi added, paraphrasing a line from A Christmas Carol.
‘Happy Christmas,’ they all chorused.
As they clinked glasses, Sive felt a warm glow from being surrounded by all the people she loved the most. As well as the people around this table, she felt the presence of those who were no longer here – her mum and dad and Detta, the shadows of Christmases past. Because the people you loved never really left you.
They lived on not only in your memories, but in the expressions you used and the traditions you upheld, woven into the fabric of your life so tightly it could never be unpicked.
They were here still in the shape of Aoife’s mouth when she smiled, in the cadence of Mimi’s laugh, in the inside jokes they shared and the games of charades they’d play after dinner, even in the crystal glasses they drank from, Detta’s wedding gift to their parents.
And Bean was here too, her little spirit of Christmas yet to come. Love was always a risk worth taking. She took Sam’s hand under the table and gave it a squeeze, then raised her glass again.
‘To family,’ she said, her eyes shining, ‘present, past and yet to come. God bless us, every one.’